Love Kwan but this is better adapted for a movie. Too many names (and not cool ones at that like Face and Chucky, Persia, Charlie, Tim, etc.) I prefer when he writes female characters like in Promise Broken. They have more emotional dimension and smarts. Selling coke and boosting are of interest but when it’s guys just hot-head killing each other quick and careless, I find it too commonplace.
The element of more lil kids is interesting but I like a smaller cast to keep track of. The fashion is also good, and the phrases even if not totally original “his heart fell into his ass,” “same shit, different toilet,” shop talk, etc.
Pharaoh is a great name for a dealer. I’d like to hear more about the white club kid crack scene since that’s seldom brought up. Though the ironically named Monk is like a schoolyard bully to keep the young in line before they come to him for business, he is as unlikable as sometimes funny. I’d rather he be a less centeral character minus like the basketball punk out scene.