White Boy/Black Girl: What Our Differences Can Teach Us, One Honest Conversation at a Time

by Adaeze Brinkman, Chad Brinkman

Let the Awkward Conversations Begin!

Adaeze and Chad—two different people, two different backgrounds—both brought a lot of baggage into their relationship. Adaeze, a black Nigerian American woman who has lived with racism and discrimination her entire life. Chad, a white man with a family from the South who mostly grew up in white spaces. Determined to learn to communicate honestly and effectively, they stepped into tough conversations about their differences. Walls came down and Adaeze and Chad discovered the trust and respect they could have in and for each other. White Boy/Black Girl is an open-handed invitation from Adaeze and Chad to learn:
Why trying to be the “perfect” Black or white person can’t be the goal
How to attempt to get it right when you’re terrified of getting it wrong
What to do when you’re feeling uncomfortable, defensive, or misunderstood
That repair is possible even when you’ve flat-out stepped in it
The importance of surrendering our pain and prejudice to the redemptive work of Jesus

Adaeze and Chad provide a safe space for us to eavesdrop on some of the most vulnerable conversations they’ve had about their differences. Their candid and honest back and forth gives us common, usable language to meet each other where we’re at. The path to empathy and understanding isn’t easy—but they promise you, it’s always worth it.

Genres: Nonfiction

224 pages, Paperback

Published September 17, 2024

Reviews

[Tif Cohen]

I picked this up because I am part of an interracial marriage. Race is a consistent topic in our lives but we are fortunate enough that it has never been one that has jeopardized our relationship. I know it's not as simple for many. Adaeze and Chad present authentic in their perspectives and I think it could give some guidance to those unsure close to persons in an interracial relationship. It is a Christian inspired book but the reader can easily skim over these parts if that isn't their jam. I didn't feel seen or have any waves of relief while reading but am grateful that their story can be shared and received openly.

[Eryka · Rating 3 out of 5]

This memoir explores race, religion, relationships, and social issues through the perspectives of a Nigerian-American woman and a White Southern man. It provides valuable insights and tips for broadening one's cultural sensitivity and knowledge but could benefit from more balanced mutual support tips and resources for interracial relationships.

[DeAnne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Parts of this were hard to read, since I'm white and have made a lot of mistakes, but I'm really glad I read it.

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to the publisher - I received this book as a Goodreads winner. Despite the title, I was a bit surprise that the book is literally written as conversations between the two (married) authors. While it did read fine enough in that format, I couldn't suspend the sense that some parts came across easily as conversational while others were clearly re-written memories of interactions...
I highly respect the authors for putting themselves out there as a couple with their racial/cultural/worldview differences. The book has some unique language that may be difficult to get past (or understand) for people of an older generation or who don't know current slang. For this reason, I question who the book is really meant for.

[Rachel W-Z · Rating 4 out of 5]

Books like this are tough because every person and experience is so different - but the story of Adaeze and Chad is encouraging and beautiful! It’s a conviction to remember to just listen and ask questions :) And they have a ton of good reminders about empathy and forgiveness and just how to generally love people well. Their experience is very much influenced by the American southern states and the racial tension in American politics in general….but it’s hard to ignore that similar tensions are happening in Canada as well and so it’s still a solid read! If anything it spurs very fruitful conversation :)

[Alana Austin · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’d give this a 3.5 overall. I think this book is great for sparking discussion in romantic relationships, yes, but also friendships. Reading Adeze’s different experiences brought up A LOT for me that I hadn’t thought about, and I’m grateful for the invitation to process and heal. I really enjoyed getting to read Chad and Adeze’s individual perspectives when discussing an experience, but, it would’ve been nice to hear the experiences of other interracial couples brought in too. Overall, a “good read”! 😉😁

[Briann · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very personal and profound memoir. Adaeze and Chad develop a fun and engaging style of writing with their back-and-forth conversation style. While Adaeze and Chad are both Christian, they did not force religion in their book or overwhelm the reader with excessive religious references. I also very much appreciated their circular ending; it was a beautiful way to end their book. I highly recommend reading the book, appreciating their experiences, and taking time to reflect.

[G · Rating 4 out of 5]

Commendable

I respect what the authors tried to do. The book is definitely written for the white gaze, but that's fair since that's who needs to do the work. Its very much a Christian book, so its likely not as effective for non-Christians. But its worth reading for anyone who wants to be a better ally.

[Amber · Rating 5 out of 5]

easy to read, with excellent insights on relationships in general as well as inter-racial points of view. you can tell their religion is important to them, which isn't my jam but works for them! glad they were willing to share their experiences for the rest of us to learn from.

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this book as a Goodreads first-reads winner.

Interesting, thought-provoking, and definitely worth a read.

[Deanna Langworthy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Should be required reading in college. One of the best books I have ever read!