Finding Your People: The ultimate guide to friendship

by Alexandra Hourigan, Sally McMullen

A relatable guide to finding, keeping and saying goodbye to friendships, from the twin-flame hosts of the hit podcast Two Broke Chicks.

Despite living in a world where instant communication is at our fingertips, it sometimes feels harder than ever to make meaningful connections. There's an overwhelming focus on romantic partners, but frankly, we're sick of platonic relationships missing out on the hype.

Friendships are some of the most significant relationships you'll ever have, and navigating conflict, miscommunication and new life phases is part and parcel of holding on to really good mates.

After seven years in an unholy union as best friends, twin flames and platonic soulmates, Sal and Al from Two Broke Chicks share what they've learned to help you find, keep and say goodbye to the friendships in your life.

Whether you're struggling to balance your social life, worried your pals don't like your new partner, unsure how to deal with that toxic friend, or simply at a loss as to how to make friends as an adult, consider this book your brand new bestie.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Relationships, Audiobook, Psychology, Social

309 pages, Kindle Edition

Published June 4, 2024

Reviews

[Monique · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not what I was expecting. Much more like reading Dolly magazine than an informative, encouraging adult guide. It felt quite shallow. Didn't love the copious pop culture references where they seemingly got most of their research and advice from. I skim read the entire second half of the book. You can really get by by just reading the subheadings. I skipped most of their personal anecdotes where they mostly revealed that they've never had these problems because they 'found each other' in their early 20s and have only fought once... Reading about their high school friendship problems felt very juvenile reading this as a 30 year old.
Nice ideas... But nothing revolutionary.

[Ashleigh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although I think I've already found my people, I wanted to read this book in support of Sal and Al.

During reading I had many points of reflection on past friendships and even had some lightbulb moments for my current friendships that I was not expecting.

All in all it helped me reaffirm just how wonderful my circle is and how much I appreciate my people and how lucky I am (but also excitedly I might not of met them all yet) 💕 tell your mates you love them!

[tahlia · Rating 4 out of 5]

this book was very sweet and gorgeous to read. it’s filled with so much colour and soul. it’s also beautiful and sweet in a way that only female friendship can be.

i shared a conversation with a friend of mine from school in which we hesitantly admitted that perhaps we peaked in high school. the very next day i bought this book from work (my first sort of self-help book). it felt a bit embarrassing, or humiliating, or that i was admitting defeat when i added this to my goodreads but i refuse to have peaked in high school.

this book has instilled some hope in me that there’s so many people out there that i will be friends with, i just haven’t met them yet. i did have strong feeling of envy or ‘wish that was me’ sort of experience when reading. the experiences that the authors shared made me think of girls in my life who are already best friends with each other - ‘read this and thought of you and your best friend’ sort of scenario - rather than thinking of any best friend that i have myself. but that’s okay!

my favourite sections of the book were the parts they reflected on high school/the friendships they had in their adolescence, family-based friendships, and the chapter on best friends we see in pop culture (like friends, euphoria etc.). i don’t really think i have enough friends to have experienced all the conflicts that can arise in friendships that this book talks about. i also found some of their advice unreasonable - like scheduling in monthly catch-ups feels odd to me, and overemphasising drinking culture in australia or doing activities with friends that require paying for stuff, whether that’s coffee/dinner/pilates etc. overall it’s given me a lot of hope, comfort and excitement during a period of my life where i am feeling a little lonely! (crazy that i admitted that - but no one reads these anyways….right?) (if you are reading this, it is obviously a sign we should be friends).

i think i’m potentially overselling this book - but it would be questionable to say i fundamentally disliked a book about making friends. like…that doesn’t sound too friendly of me.

[Mon · Rating 2 out of 5]

To preface, I like Sal and Al. I listen to their podcast occasionally and I read this book to support them.
This was sooooo surface level. It was all iced lattes and Pilates. A lot of the book was them talking about how much they loved each other, which is lovely, but not that point of the book. I can’t tell if I am too old to read this (29) or the girls should have waited until they were older to write this book.

[Tania · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely love this book.💖

[Jessenia · Rating 5 out of 5]

So excited to read this! Al and Sal are two wholesome, inspiring af podcast girlies who are really paving the way in the Australian scene for everything from budgeting to fashion, life tips to relationship advice in your 20/30s - and I expect this book will be no different. They're so relatable and if their podcast content/advice regarding friendships, boundaries and hobbies are anything to go by then this book will be 🙌🏽✨ (also - A+ design on the book cover)

[Sydney Teale · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tell your mates you love them 🫶🏼🤗🫂

[Adelline · Rating 1 out of 5]

I couldn't finish this book.
I'm glad that I borrowed a copy rather than bought a copy.

[Jean-Mari King · Rating 4 out of 5]

Al and Sal helped to revolutionise my views on friendships, making it a key focus of mine in 2026.

Five fundamental lessons learned:
1. Set a recurring time to catch up with friends, not as a chore or obligation, but as a routine that serves as a worthy investment.
2. Develop an anchor - a common interest that acts as a trigger for you to reach out to friends. This will allow friendships to stabilise and remain steadfast in the future.
3. Not everyone is emotionally available at all times. This means that, whilst I may be in pursuit of a new friendship, the person I’m pursuing may be in a different phase of life, entirely uninterested in connection. This does not equal rejection or an invalid attempt at friendship; it creates healthy boundaries and a greater sense of understanding.
4. Making friends as an adult is best handled as a proactive endeavour. This means taking initiative, leading the way, nudging friends in the right direction, and committing to quality time together.
5. Nowadays, there are far too many platforms, both online and in person, to network and make new friends. From friendship apps to workout classes, finding your people is perhaps easier than ever. You just have to be willing.

[zilan · Rating 4 out of 5]

this book could be a good one to read in your 20s and i can say this because i am in my 20s so believe me! while reading it i had a journey through my memories and feelings because i had time to reflect about some things while remembering some others and so thanks to this i would suggest to read this book if you are in the mood for a book that approaches some topics that can be discussed in an easy simple way like you’re talking with a friend!

thank you to netgalley and independent publishers group for the e-arc of this book in exchange of my honest thoughts!!

[Bree · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found myself resonating with a lot in this book! Finding new friends & keeping long term friendships in your 20’s is tough.

[Caitlin Hagtharp · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to this as an audiobook and loved how light, fun and easy it was to digest.
Love that friends can be soulmates too!

[Caitlin Hobbs · Rating 2 out of 5]

Maybe I've already found my people or I wasn't the target audience but this was a miss. I was hoping this book would help me navigating various interstate/overseas friendships, best friends of the opposite sex, and friends who are working/living various lifestyles and rosters, but instead I felt like I was listening to a poorly written wedding speech for heteronormative 9-5 business girlies. The references to 2020 were repetitive and insistently eluding to alcohol consumption was problematic. Various sections felt like weird diary entries of personal things that really don't add value, sorry I don't need all the names of your friends and their little kooks. I think I counted 3 lists worth of friend dates/self dates.

[Em · Rating 3 out of 5]

While there were some good points and lessons from this book most especially the part where we should be friends with ourselves and learn to enjoy our own time, I did find the part where the author shared their experience going on an outdoor adventure date with someone who had already eaten was a "f* that, red flag". I think that's a little harsh, some people might want to save money and not eat out, have an IBS flare up on that particular day or was nervous to share a meal with someone they just met. That just felt a little mean.

[Zoë Amber · Rating 4 out of 5]

Was a nice read with some interesting, practical advice and wholesome stories. However, I found there was a HUGE emphasis on drinking culture. I found the advice and anecdotes about getting plastered with mates and being insanely hungover, sometimes multiple times per page, quite offputting. 😢

[Emily Wilson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Listened to the audiobook. Easy listening, was nice but not life changing.

[Brandi · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must-have for all those in their early to mid-20’s feeling the shifts in friendships. Best friends from high school and college moving away, starting families, finding love.. how do you stay in touch? How do you make each other feel seen even though your relationship may not always be the same?

This book explores all of that and more. Sal and Al bring their friendship/friendships into this great advice book exploring how to keep friendships alive, know when to cut them off, how to find new adult friendships, and more. The format of this book was really nice - I read it front to back but I’m sure you can go by chapter.

Thank you Net Galley & Allen & Unwin for an advanced copy of this book!

[seina dolan · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 ⭐️ first time I have read a book like this and my emotional intelligence has been levelled up and I’m gonna go tell all my friends I love them BYE

[Charlie Simpson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Listened to this one. Has the same energy to it as “everything i know about love”

[astrid bee]

read this to see if it would be a good resource for clients and i think it will be

[BRITTANY J WILLIAMS · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love these girls and love this book. Would recommend to friends 🥰

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐️

[𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 · Rating 3 out of 5]

The premise of the book is great considering we live in a literal loneliness epidemic and seems great for those seeking more intentional and nourishing relationships. But honestly this missed the mark for me…it kind of reads more like a column in dolly magazine, which I’m not mad at lowkey.

But as I was unfamiliar with the authors and their podcast, it felt like i was missing out on a level of gravity never registered. Drawing from lived experience is great, I found myself resonating with some of the anecdotes, but i found it became overdone really quickly.

I had different expectations, but I can see this book being helpful for young adults navigating their relationships for the first time.

2.5

[Chelsea Mckay · Rating 5 out of 5]

i love a book that makes you look around take a breathe and think fuck i’m so lucky to surrounded by these legends! and that’s exactly what this book did. sometimes you need a perspective shift and a reminder to text your friends and tell them you love them, this is a great reminder

[Alexis Lewis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very pop culture podcast-style reading but it was nice and cozy in the way sitting on the couch over dessert or in the sun at the beach with your people is. Some solid advice, obviously simple, not new but sometimes you just need a reminder of what to do when things go wrong or help recognising the ways things go right too. I chewed through this and would recommend it to my girly pop friends too if they ever just want a bit of validation this is definitely well worth it.

[Grace McGaw · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked up Finding Your People by Alexander and Sally because I’ve been an avid listener of their podcast, Two Broke Chicks, for almost a year now—thanks to my best friend’s recommendation! These two have been my go-to source for life advice, and with their live show coming up next month (which we’re beyond excited for), I figured it was the perfect time to dive into their book. Plus, I couldn’t resist the $12 deal at K-Mart, so I thought, why not?

Honestly, I didn’t expect to get so much from this book. At first, I wasn’t sure I needed it—I’ve already found my people, and I felt content. But once I started reading, I realized this book isn’t just for those searching for friends; it’s also for those who have found their people and want to strengthen those relationships. I even think of it as a guide for people who have found their people but are still navigating the ups and downs of friendships.

This book gave me a fresh perspective on maintaining the friendships I have and reflecting on the ones I’ve lost. It’s not just about how to make friends—it’s about appreciating the ones you have, understanding why some relationships end, and learning to be a better friend yourself. It helped me reflect on who I am as a friend, who I’ve been in the past, and who I want to be moving forward.

The way it touches on toxic friendships versus natural fizz-outs was especially eye-opening. It made me realize it’s okay to let go sometimes and reassured me that even the people I no longer speak to played a meaningful role in my life. This book is as much about self-reflection as it is about relationships, and it leaves you feeling more connected to the people in your life, past and present.

Surprisingly, I’ve gained so much from this book, more than I ever expected. It made me feel incredibly lucky for the friends I have, while also giving me hope that I might find more of my people in the future. I’d recommend it to anyone, whether you’re searching for friends, trying to maintain relationships, or just reflecting on yourself. I even got my therapist, who’s in her 50s, reading it—and she loves it!

[Nikki · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved this book.

[Ali Akbar Zaidi · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was attracted to read this because of its title and being listed on a recent new company on ebooks called www.findanyebook.com but I soon found out that his book is written by a couple of teenaged girls and wrote this book over their weekend discussions and girl night parties. Finding your people as a book on friends does not do justice to the topic and alot if left missed out in the end.

First and foremost, the book begins with becoming your own friend. Imagine, a book on friendship that tells you to be your own friend. Ironically, this is the only well-written chapter in the whole book. The remaining part of the book is divided into different modalities of friendships or types such as
romantic friendships, toxic friendships and friends that are there for a reason, season or forever, I hope that makes sense.

The book takes up topics like touching and gifting between friends but it appears that it aims towards young girls or women who are looking for ways to deal with women groups.

The book comes out as clumsy and only-for-women content oriented. I wish they could have taken some ideas from Epicureus.

[Jaimee Weller · Rating 2 out of 5]

Super surface level stuff

[Nicole · Rating 3 out of 5]

Book review here!