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How to Build a Better Life: A New Roadmap for Women Who Want to Prioritize Love & Family
How to Build a Better Life
implodes the decades-long narrative that women should prioritize career above all else and provides a new path forward for women who would rather focus on family and build the balanced lives they crave.
So you’re tired of being single and would rather be married with children. Or perhaps you’re already a wife and mother, but you want to stop working and stay home with your kids—if only for a season.
Either way, you have no support for your desire to do so.
If you’re single, you’ve been told to put career front and center and that marriage and motherhood can wait. If you’re married, your family and friends—even your own husband!—want you to work full-time, despite the fact that you have young children at home.
It feels like everyone wants you to be a workhorse, but you just want to slow down. You want to live a simpler life that’s centered on family, not career. You want to raise your own babies, not put them in daycare. You want to live in your home, not use it as a place to just sleep and shower.
In How to Build a Better Life, relationship and life coach Suzanne Venker charts a new course for women who want to prioritize love and family and to build strong relationships at home.
In this book, you will
Why your femininity is a superpower How to date for marriage That you don’t need to be rich to have a baby How to live on one income Why “lazy girl jobs” can be a great choice for moms What no one told you about daycare A call to arms, How to Build a Better Life will ignite a much-needed debate about the misplaced priorities of the modern generation. This guide is the antidote women need to reject the lies they've been fed by our culture so they can build the happier and slower-paced lives they crave.
So you’re tired of being single and would rather be married with children. Or perhaps you’re already a wife and mother, but you want to stop working and stay home with your kids—if only for a season.
Either way, you have no support for your desire to do so.
If you’re single, you’ve been told to put career front and center and that marriage and motherhood can wait. If you’re married, your family and friends—even your own husband!—want you to work full-time, despite the fact that you have young children at home.
It feels like everyone wants you to be a workhorse, but you just want to slow down. You want to live a simpler life that’s centered on family, not career. You want to raise your own babies, not put them in daycare. You want to live in your home, not use it as a place to just sleep and shower.
In How to Build a Better Life, relationship and life coach Suzanne Venker charts a new course for women who want to prioritize love and family and to build strong relationships at home.
In this book, you will
Why your femininity is a superpower How to date for marriage That you don’t need to be rich to have a baby How to live on one income Why “lazy girl jobs” can be a great choice for moms What no one told you about daycare A call to arms, How to Build a Better Life will ignite a much-needed debate about the misplaced priorities of the modern generation. This guide is the antidote women need to reject the lies they've been fed by our culture so they can build the happier and slower-paced lives they crave.
160 pages, Paperback
Published March 4, 2024
5 people are currently reading
198 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
March 18, 2024
Suzanne does a wonderful job in this book; highly recommend!
June 30, 2024
refreshing, empowering, and counter cultural.
being a woman is powerful and a unique gift/privilege. hard to embrace it at times as there is such an assault on femininity and women are constantly being bombarded with lies.
being a woman is powerful and a unique gift/privilege. hard to embrace it at times as there is such an assault on femininity and women are constantly being bombarded with lies.
July 16, 2024
eI was a little conflicted on this book. By and large, it's excellent. Venker's attempt at a countercultural "no holding back" approach is, quite frankly, refreshing. For what it's worth, she also writes from a secular perspective.
As a note, while I think that Venker is largely right, she says things that are hard to swallow in a tone that can be hard to swallow as well. And she doesn't necessarily go full bore on what does bear saying (e.g., she says date with marriage in mind...but then softens the message by okaying cohabiting with the plan of marriage. If we're going full countercultural, she should admit the cost of cohabiting in any form.) But her tone is so...polemical?...that while I'm pretty sure much of her message is right, she states it in such a way that she'll turn off anyone who isn't already almost entirely on board with her message. I don't know how much I can recommend it to friends without a lot of thought, to be perfectly frank.
So what's the gist of the book? There are seven chapters, which I'll list with my own summaries for my own reference. Make of it what you will!
1. Live an examined life. (We're formed by the habits and messages around us, which, in [my] theological terms, means that we're sinful, we're surrounded by sin, and if we just assume things will be good if we go with the flow, our autopilot is driving us over the cliff.)
2. Prioritize marriage and family over career. (We can't have it all! We think we can, but it's impossible to truly have it all. Something has to give, and all too often, that equation looks like Career > Marriage > Family. Meet the self-perpetuating cycle.)
3. Unleash your feminine power. (Men and women are different, and that's not just a good thing, that's a great thing! Women are being taught to define their success according to what success does and should mean to men, who have different strengths! Read this chapter to get a brief refresher course on what makes men and women tick. My personal recommendation is to also take a gander at Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus)
4. Date with Purpose (It's not a snack bar out there. If you want companionship, set the goalpost high at marriage for life, and don't settle for anything less.)
5. Don't NOT have babies or NOT stay home with them just because you're in debt (When you're married, combine your life. That means income, debt, savings, investments, etc. is OURS not MINE/YOURS. And families unequivocally do better when the husband is the breadwinner.)
6. Change your definition of work-life balance. (It's not possible to equally distribute work and family when mom has a full-time job. That's juggling, not balancing. And we can't do two things simultaneously all the time and still earn 100%.)
7. Learn the truth about daycare (that no one ever told you). (Day care is bad for kids. Kids need their mom and dad. When kids spend 40+ hours a week in daycare from infancy, they have a real loss and learn they come in second.)
8. Love your life, not theirs. (Don't live life vicariously!)
As a note, while I think that Venker is largely right, she says things that are hard to swallow in a tone that can be hard to swallow as well. And she doesn't necessarily go full bore on what does bear saying (e.g., she says date with marriage in mind...but then softens the message by okaying cohabiting with the plan of marriage. If we're going full countercultural, she should admit the cost of cohabiting in any form.) But her tone is so...polemical?...that while I'm pretty sure much of her message is right, she states it in such a way that she'll turn off anyone who isn't already almost entirely on board with her message. I don't know how much I can recommend it to friends without a lot of thought, to be perfectly frank.
So what's the gist of the book? There are seven chapters, which I'll list with my own summaries for my own reference. Make of it what you will!
1. Live an examined life. (We're formed by the habits and messages around us, which, in [my] theological terms, means that we're sinful, we're surrounded by sin, and if we just assume things will be good if we go with the flow, our autopilot is driving us over the cliff.)
2. Prioritize marriage and family over career. (We can't have it all! We think we can, but it's impossible to truly have it all. Something has to give, and all too often, that equation looks like Career > Marriage > Family. Meet the self-perpetuating cycle.)
3. Unleash your feminine power. (Men and women are different, and that's not just a good thing, that's a great thing! Women are being taught to define their success according to what success does and should mean to men, who have different strengths! Read this chapter to get a brief refresher course on what makes men and women tick. My personal recommendation is to also take a gander at Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus)
4. Date with Purpose (It's not a snack bar out there. If you want companionship, set the goalpost high at marriage for life, and don't settle for anything less.)
5. Don't NOT have babies or NOT stay home with them just because you're in debt (When you're married, combine your life. That means income, debt, savings, investments, etc. is OURS not MINE/YOURS. And families unequivocally do better when the husband is the breadwinner.)
6. Change your definition of work-life balance. (It's not possible to equally distribute work and family when mom has a full-time job. That's juggling, not balancing. And we can't do two things simultaneously all the time and still earn 100%.)
7. Learn the truth about daycare (that no one ever told you). (Day care is bad for kids. Kids need their mom and dad. When kids spend 40+ hours a week in daycare from infancy, they have a real loss and learn they come in second.)
8. Love your life, not theirs. (Don't live life vicariously!)
April 9, 2025
This book really made me realise why so many couples are struggling today to raise a family in the right conditions. There is a lot of truth in it in a matter of factly way that I did appreciate a lot. While I did not necessary agree with every single point I do believe that having a very demanding career and being present for your kids are 2 things that are not compatible. I have experienced this first hand and wish I knew what I know now many years ago. If you want to have kids please read this book first.
August 2, 2025
I feel super torn about my thoughts on this book! I agree with what she is saying to an extent but perhaps my issue is with the way she is communicating. The harshness of her delivery is not empowering but like I said, harsh. Directness is not an excuse to be rude and the writing style toes that line. With that being said, I understand the argument of the book and agree with some! She makes it sound very black and white, I think there is more gray to gender dynamics and raising children, but I agree overall with what she said. I don’t know, this is a tricky one to rate and review!
March 25, 2024
Excellent book. I highly recommend Suzanne’s podcast (The Suzanne Venker Show) for additional information on these topics, which she covers through expert interviews, published studies, listeners’ stories, and analysis. In our culture that encourages women to pursue career above all else without discussing the consequences, this perspective is much needed.
February 25, 2025
Main focus is on the cultural conditioning women face today regarding career, marriage and motherhood. Interesting and challenging perspectives that were thought provoking and made me consider my own conditioning and how I’ve been influenced.
May 6, 2024
100% recommend. Valuable, concise and informative.
September 3, 2024
4/10. Provides a different insight on life; an easy read.
December 27, 2024
Good read but it is so similar to a previous book of hers I got nothing new from it
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews