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Ich warte auf dich, Haru
Nach dem Tod seines besten Freundes zieht Eric Ly sich zurück in eine Traumwelt. Bis plötzlich Haru Tanaka wieder in sein Leben tritt, ein Junge, den er letzten Sommer in Japan kennengelernt hat. Zum ersten Mal seit Langem hat Eric jemandem, der für ihn da ist. Die beiden verbringen immer mehr Zeit miteinander. Nur kann niemand sonst Haru sehen. Die Grenzen zwischen Realität und Traum verwischen für Eric, und er merkt, wie er die Kontrolle verliert. Doch sich mit der Wirklichkeit auseinanderzusetzen, würde bedeuten, dass er Haru für immer verliert.
353 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 3, 2024
1175 people are currently reading
34612 people want to read
About the author
Dustin Thao
6 books6,246 followersDustin Thao is a Vietnamese American writer based in New York City. He graduated from Amherst College with a B.A. in Political Science, and is currently in a PhD program at Northwestern University. He writes contemporary fiction, and his debut novel You’ve Reached Sam is a New York Times and USA Today bestseller.
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June 17, 2025I will read anything Dustin Thao writes 😌
August 14, 2025
"Where Letters and Longings Linger — A Stranger, A Memory, A Quiet Whisper!"
This felt less like reading a novel and more like holding a handful of memories you’re not sure you’re ready to let go of.When Haru Was Here is a tender exploration of grief, longing, and the unpredictable ways human connection heals us. From the heartache of sibling farewell to the bittersweet ache of lost friendship, this novel delicately unpacks the complex emotions we carry when those we love slip away — physically, emotionally, or forever. Dustin Theo writes grief with such intimacy that it feels less like reading and more like remembering something you’ve lived through yourself.
This isn’t about grand declarations or cinematic reunions. It’s about the tiny, almost invisible moments that change you — the way love can outlast time and distance, even when it’s messy, even when it hurts And maybe that’s the point: that in the unpredictability of life, there’s still beauty. If 2025 is the year of crying, this book just claimed its throne. “When Haru Was Here” is an exploration of all the ways love can change us — even when it’s gone. It’s a portrait of grief painted in soft strokes, where silence speaks louder than words and hope is found in the most unexpected corners.
📖 Plot Overview:
Eric’s life is in flux. His sister Jasmine is leaving for college, and then, suddenly, she’s gone forever — leaving behind only her letters, her wisdom, and her music. In the middle of his grief, Eric meets Haru, a mysterious boy whose presence feels like recognition. Haru appears, disappears, and then reappears — not to solve Eric’s pain, but to walk through it with him. Layered into this is the loss of Daniel, Eric’s best friend, whose absence carries just as much weight as his presence once did.
Through letters, music, and late-night reflections, Eric learns what it means to carry people forward — not by forgetting them, but by letting their love guide him toward what’s next.
Characters:
📌Eric: A deeply emotional and thoughtful protagonist navigating the complexities of loss, love, and self-discovery. His vulnerability makes his growth feel authentic and relatable.
📌Jasmine: The supportive older sister whose letters become a lifeline for Eric. She embodies nurturing love that transcends physical presence.
📌Haru: Enigmatic and magnetic, Haru challenges Eric to confront fears and embrace the unknown, representing hope and renewal.
📌Daniel: Eric’s charismatic best friend whose absence is felt profoundly; their unspoken emotions add layers of bittersweet tension.
📌Kevin: Loyal and steady, Kevin offers comfort and grounding support amidst Eric’s turbulent journey.
🖋️
💌 Why This Book Hurt So Good-What makes it special!?
-Grief written with surgical precision: Theo doesn’t romanticise loss. He captures its messiness — the jealousy of watching the world move on, the disbelief that joy is still possible, the fear of forgetting.
-Epistolary brilliance: The letters… oh God, the letters. Jasmine writing to Eric from the edge of death. Eric writing back to ghosts. Words as lifelines. Words as resurrection.
-Japan as metaphor: A brief encounter abroad becomes a spiritual detour — Haru’s presence is dreamlike, half-real, half-fantasy. A reminder that healing rarely happens where we expect it.
-Music as heartbeat: Jasmine’s piano recordings linger in the background, turning sound into memory. It's subtle but devastating.
-It refuses to rush grief — no tidy timelines, no “three steps to healing.”
-It shows love in all its forms — romantic, platonic, familial — and treats them with equal weight.
-It honours the silences — what isn’t said between Eric and Daniel is just as loud as what is.
-It embraces unpredictability — Haru’s reappearance at the end isn’t a cliché “happily ever after”; it’s a soft, tentative “maybe.”
🧩 Motifs That Bind the Novel Together:
-The quiet brutality of grief
-Unspoken love & missed chances
-Sibling bonds that never fade
-Embracing life’s unpredictability
-Healing through vulnerability and connection
-Read this if:
-You crave quiet, character-driven narratives.
-You liked You’ve Reached Sam or Before the Coffee Gets Cold.
-You’ve ever kept a letter you weren’t ready to read yet.
Sometimes, the people we lose still walk beside us — in memories, in music, in the way we choose to live after they’re gone.
📮 A letter, a song, a boy who returns. Sometimes, that’s enough.
📍Final Verdict:
Okay so first of all DUSTIN THEO HOW DARE YOU!!!
I thought this would be a cozy weekend read. Letters, Japan, maybe a slow romance. Instead, I vanished from existence for two days, got an emotional hangover migraine, and am now wandering around on Monday like a ghost whose soul is still trapped between Eric’s grief and Haru’s return.
If 2025 had a genre, it would be: me, in my room, crying over fictional characters like it’s my full-time job then yeah! this book fits right in👍🏻 💯
🔚 Conclusion: A Soft Goodbye That Stays With You! This isn’t a love story in the traditional sense. It’s a story about carrying love — through letters, through music, through people who drift in and out of your life. It’s about learning that moving on doesn’t mean leaving behind.When Haru Was Here doesn’t just tell a story — it breathes it into your bloodstream. It’s for anyone who has loved deeply, lost painfully, and somehow found the strength to keep going.
This isn’t just a book you read and shelve.It’s a book that takes up residence in your ribs and whispers to you for days after.
4/5 — and a week-long recovery period required.
This felt less like reading a novel and more like holding a handful of memories you’re not sure you’re ready to let go of.When Haru Was Here is a tender exploration of grief, longing, and the unpredictable ways human connection heals us. From the heartache of sibling farewell to the bittersweet ache of lost friendship, this novel delicately unpacks the complex emotions we carry when those we love slip away — physically, emotionally, or forever. Dustin Theo writes grief with such intimacy that it feels less like reading and more like remembering something you’ve lived through yourself.
This isn’t about grand declarations or cinematic reunions. It’s about the tiny, almost invisible moments that change you — the way love can outlast time and distance, even when it’s messy, even when it hurts And maybe that’s the point: that in the unpredictability of life, there’s still beauty. If 2025 is the year of crying, this book just claimed its throne. “When Haru Was Here” is an exploration of all the ways love can change us — even when it’s gone. It’s a portrait of grief painted in soft strokes, where silence speaks louder than words and hope is found in the most unexpected corners.
📖 Plot Overview:
Eric’s life is in flux. His sister Jasmine is leaving for college, and then, suddenly, she’s gone forever — leaving behind only her letters, her wisdom, and her music. In the middle of his grief, Eric meets Haru, a mysterious boy whose presence feels like recognition. Haru appears, disappears, and then reappears — not to solve Eric’s pain, but to walk through it with him. Layered into this is the loss of Daniel, Eric’s best friend, whose absence carries just as much weight as his presence once did.
Through letters, music, and late-night reflections, Eric learns what it means to carry people forward — not by forgetting them, but by letting their love guide him toward what’s next.
Characters:
📌Eric: A deeply emotional and thoughtful protagonist navigating the complexities of loss, love, and self-discovery. His vulnerability makes his growth feel authentic and relatable.
📌Jasmine: The supportive older sister whose letters become a lifeline for Eric. She embodies nurturing love that transcends physical presence.
📌Haru: Enigmatic and magnetic, Haru challenges Eric to confront fears and embrace the unknown, representing hope and renewal.
📌Daniel: Eric’s charismatic best friend whose absence is felt profoundly; their unspoken emotions add layers of bittersweet tension.
📌Kevin: Loyal and steady, Kevin offers comfort and grounding support amidst Eric’s turbulent journey.
🖋️
💌 Why This Book Hurt So Good-What makes it special!?
-Grief written with surgical precision: Theo doesn’t romanticise loss. He captures its messiness — the jealousy of watching the world move on, the disbelief that joy is still possible, the fear of forgetting.
-Epistolary brilliance: The letters… oh God, the letters. Jasmine writing to Eric from the edge of death. Eric writing back to ghosts. Words as lifelines. Words as resurrection.
-Japan as metaphor: A brief encounter abroad becomes a spiritual detour — Haru’s presence is dreamlike, half-real, half-fantasy. A reminder that healing rarely happens where we expect it.
-Music as heartbeat: Jasmine’s piano recordings linger in the background, turning sound into memory. It's subtle but devastating.
-It refuses to rush grief — no tidy timelines, no “three steps to healing.”
-It shows love in all its forms — romantic, platonic, familial — and treats them with equal weight.
-It honours the silences — what isn’t said between Eric and Daniel is just as loud as what is.
-It embraces unpredictability — Haru’s reappearance at the end isn’t a cliché “happily ever after”; it’s a soft, tentative “maybe.”
🧩 Motifs That Bind the Novel Together:
-The quiet brutality of grief
-Unspoken love & missed chances
-Sibling bonds that never fade
-Embracing life’s unpredictability
-Healing through vulnerability and connection
-Read this if:
-You crave quiet, character-driven narratives.
-You liked You’ve Reached Sam or Before the Coffee Gets Cold.
-You’ve ever kept a letter you weren’t ready to read yet.
Sometimes, the people we lose still walk beside us — in memories, in music, in the way we choose to live after they’re gone.
📮 A letter, a song, a boy who returns. Sometimes, that’s enough.
📍Final Verdict:
Okay so first of all DUSTIN THEO HOW DARE YOU!!!
I thought this would be a cozy weekend read. Letters, Japan, maybe a slow romance. Instead, I vanished from existence for two days, got an emotional hangover migraine, and am now wandering around on Monday like a ghost whose soul is still trapped between Eric’s grief and Haru’s return.
If 2025 had a genre, it would be: me, in my room, crying over fictional characters like it’s my full-time job then yeah! this book fits right in👍🏻 💯
🔚 Conclusion: A Soft Goodbye That Stays With You! This isn’t a love story in the traditional sense. It’s a story about carrying love — through letters, through music, through people who drift in and out of your life. It’s about learning that moving on doesn’t mean leaving behind.When Haru Was Here doesn’t just tell a story — it breathes it into your bloodstream. It’s for anyone who has loved deeply, lost painfully, and somehow found the strength to keep going.
This isn’t just a book you read and shelve.It’s a book that takes up residence in your ribs and whispers to you for days after.
4/5 — and a week-long recovery period required.
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February 17, 2022Yeah, I don’t know what’s supposed to be this but I am exited bc you’ve reached Sam destroy me and I wanna read everything Mr. Dustin writes
September 4, 2024
Actual rating 4.5 stars.
For fans of The Ghosts We Keep, When Haru was Here is a messy, painful and at the same time beautiful story about grief and loneliness. And isn’t that cover stunning?
When he loses his best friend, Daniel, Eric more or less stops living. Time passes without him noticing, and he’s in his head a lot. He makes up stories and thinks he sees Daniel everywhere. Then, Eric meets Haru again, the Japanese boy he once had a beautiful day with. Haru becomes Eric’s lifeline, whether he’s real or not.
While reading, I found another summary of this story, probably an older one, and all of a sudden, something in my head clicked. Goosebumps started dancing over my skin because I realized Eric’s feeling of loneliness wasn’t only because of Daniel.
Grief is a complicated thing, and we all cope differently with the abundance of people we love so much. Eric’s coping mechanism is holding on to the beautiful memories he made with Haru and the new ones he’s making. That, he can manage. Real life, he cannot.
This story might seem messy and jumpy, and side characters are hardly visible. I believe my sudden inkling helped me to understand what was happening better, but I also think Dustin Thao wrote Eric’s story like this intentionally. It’s a brilliant concept, even though I also know that it might make people confused. Please just know Eric makes up stories a lot.
This novel shows a very lonely boy being in so much pain, a boy who disjoints from real life because he just can’t cope anymore. And from the moment, I had an my inkling, my chest tightened, and my heart went out to that nineteen-year-old so many times. Those letters and that epilogue … I cried. Of course, I cried—massive tears of love for this lonely and sad boy. But I also smiled because, in the end, I knew he was going to be okay again.
I haven’t read You’ve Reached Sam yet; it has been on my TBR for so long, but I’m definitely going to, and I can’t wait for Dustin’s spin-off of that book!
Thank you so much, Erin, from Macmillan International, for letting me read this beautiful story early!
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For fans of The Ghosts We Keep, When Haru was Here is a messy, painful and at the same time beautiful story about grief and loneliness. And isn’t that cover stunning?
When he loses his best friend, Daniel, Eric more or less stops living. Time passes without him noticing, and he’s in his head a lot. He makes up stories and thinks he sees Daniel everywhere. Then, Eric meets Haru again, the Japanese boy he once had a beautiful day with. Haru becomes Eric’s lifeline, whether he’s real or not.
While reading, I found another summary of this story, probably an older one, and all of a sudden, something in my head clicked. Goosebumps started dancing over my skin because I realized Eric’s feeling of loneliness wasn’t only because of Daniel.
Grief is a complicated thing, and we all cope differently with the abundance of people we love so much. Eric’s coping mechanism is holding on to the beautiful memories he made with Haru and the new ones he’s making. That, he can manage. Real life, he cannot.
This story might seem messy and jumpy, and side characters are hardly visible. I believe my sudden inkling helped me to understand what was happening better, but I also think Dustin Thao wrote Eric’s story like this intentionally. It’s a brilliant concept, even though I also know that it might make people confused. Please just know Eric makes up stories a lot.
This novel shows a very lonely boy being in so much pain, a boy who disjoints from real life because he just can’t cope anymore. And from the moment, I had an my inkling, my chest tightened, and my heart went out to that nineteen-year-old so many times. Those letters and that epilogue … I cried. Of course, I cried—massive tears of love for this lonely and sad boy. But I also smiled because, in the end, I knew he was going to be okay again.
I haven’t read You’ve Reached Sam yet; it has been on my TBR for so long, but I’m definitely going to, and I can’t wait for Dustin’s spin-off of that book!
Thank you so much, Erin, from Macmillan International, for letting me read this beautiful story early!
Follow me on Instagram
July 15, 2025
I literally howled at the moon, making ear-bleeding sounds as I cried my eyes out after reading "You've Reached Sam." So, when I got my hands on another Dustin Thao book, I was beyond excited. Maybe a masochistic part of me needed a good cry! I knew from the first page that my heart would break, but I was ready for it. Pass the hot sauce, please! Without pain, how can we truly appreciate life's great little moments?
This book is one of the toughest reads to grade. I fell in love with parts that touched my heartstrings, but I also hated other parts. It’s rare to read a book that swings between two stars and five stars, only to dip back down again. The author sometimes took aimless directions that dragged the main character, who acted like he was walking on clouds and making illogical decisions from the start.
After gathering my thoughts and embracing the emotions the book evoked, I focused on the sentimental parts and gave it 3.5 stars. I debated rounding it up to 4 or down to 3, but ultimately, because of the grieving heart and the beautiful cover art, and my dedication to the author after his first book, I rounded it up to 4 stars.
Still, I’m not satisfied with the misdirection and aimless wandering of the story. It made me think it was about a boy named Haru (I wish the blurb didn’t spoil his second meeting with Eric and the big secret), but it’s not! The story revolves around Eric Ly, a 19-year-old queer Vietnamese man grieving his friend Daniel (an unstarted love story). Taking a gap year, Eric is aimless, unsure about applying to college or focusing on his future. His sister Jasmine has left for college and is slowly disappearing from his life as she focuses on her plans.
Then Daniel bumps into Haru, an eccentric, mysterious boy he spent a magical day with in Japan (the traditional festive parts are my favorite), and takes him to a cafe. But Haru abruptly disappears after their meeting and reappears the next day in his bedroom, making no sense unless he’s a figment of Eric's imagination. Why does he see Haru, and why is he drawn into his orbit, helping him get up at his lowest points? Did Haru come back to help him deal with his grief and find a purpose? But what if, once his mission is accomplished, Haru leaves his life like everyone else did?
The book’s focus keeps changing directions, and Eric's naïve decisions are frustrating! At moments, it’s hard to distinguish between reality and fantasy. The big mystery is very obvious, and I wish the author had focused more on that part. The family connection parts were also missing.
If the ending hadn’t made me cry so much and touched my heart, I would’ve rated it lower. But I loved the conclusion and seeing the character find his path and think more sensibly.
I didn’t enjoy this as much as the first book, but it's still a captivating, heartbreaking tearjerker with a touching queer love story. I recommend it to fans of the author, angsty romance, Eastern mythology, and YA fantasy lovers!
Many thanks to NetGalley and St. Martin’s Press / Wednesday Books for sharing this highly anticipated fantasy romance book’s digital reviewer copy with me in exchange for my honest thoughts.
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This book is one of the toughest reads to grade. I fell in love with parts that touched my heartstrings, but I also hated other parts. It’s rare to read a book that swings between two stars and five stars, only to dip back down again. The author sometimes took aimless directions that dragged the main character, who acted like he was walking on clouds and making illogical decisions from the start.
After gathering my thoughts and embracing the emotions the book evoked, I focused on the sentimental parts and gave it 3.5 stars. I debated rounding it up to 4 or down to 3, but ultimately, because of the grieving heart and the beautiful cover art, and my dedication to the author after his first book, I rounded it up to 4 stars.
Still, I’m not satisfied with the misdirection and aimless wandering of the story. It made me think it was about a boy named Haru (I wish the blurb didn’t spoil his second meeting with Eric and the big secret), but it’s not! The story revolves around Eric Ly, a 19-year-old queer Vietnamese man grieving his friend Daniel (an unstarted love story). Taking a gap year, Eric is aimless, unsure about applying to college or focusing on his future. His sister Jasmine has left for college and is slowly disappearing from his life as she focuses on her plans.
Then Daniel bumps into Haru, an eccentric, mysterious boy he spent a magical day with in Japan (the traditional festive parts are my favorite), and takes him to a cafe. But Haru abruptly disappears after their meeting and reappears the next day in his bedroom, making no sense unless he’s a figment of Eric's imagination. Why does he see Haru, and why is he drawn into his orbit, helping him get up at his lowest points? Did Haru come back to help him deal with his grief and find a purpose? But what if, once his mission is accomplished, Haru leaves his life like everyone else did?
The book’s focus keeps changing directions, and Eric's naïve decisions are frustrating! At moments, it’s hard to distinguish between reality and fantasy. The big mystery is very obvious, and I wish the author had focused more on that part. The family connection parts were also missing.
If the ending hadn’t made me cry so much and touched my heart, I would’ve rated it lower. But I loved the conclusion and seeing the character find his path and think more sensibly.
I didn’t enjoy this as much as the first book, but it's still a captivating, heartbreaking tearjerker with a touching queer love story. I recommend it to fans of the author, angsty romance, Eastern mythology, and YA fantasy lovers!
Many thanks to NetGalley and St. Martin’s Press / Wednesday Books for sharing this highly anticipated fantasy romance book’s digital reviewer copy with me in exchange for my honest thoughts.
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September 5, 2024
TW: alcohol, car accident, chronic illness, death, death of a loved one, grief, medical content, mental illness, racism, sexual assault.
I finished this book hours ago and have subsequently spent that time trying to figure out how to review this.
I want to start by saying I received an arc of You've Reached Sam in 2021 and adored it. I've also since followed Dustin Thao over the years and I really admire him as a person/author. I know this book was important to him and I don't want to diminish that.
However... I felt like this book fell flat in nearly every way possible. Due to the nature of the story, I can't go into much without heading into spoiler territory, but I can say that this was structurally messy and incredibly redundant.
For a book about grief, I felt like the grief aspects were actually really side-lined? Much of the story follows Eric after Daniel's death and we see his life in a downward spiral, until he finally caves and gets a job at a theater. This begins the absolutely thrilling saga of Asshole Coworker 1 and Asshole Coworker 2 taking him to party with a bunch of rich people, whom Eric subsequently allows to use him/actually gets assaulted by. This was not only painful to read, but also really tedious.
I understand that he was in that particularly place due to grief, but we focus a lot more on him trying to assimilate to really awful groups of people with little-to-no growth happening from those moments.
Carrying on from that point, Haru could have been written out of the book and none of the core aspects would have changed - other than a handful of scenes that they spend together, exploring the city.
Also... this might be spoiler territory, but Eric read as someone experiencing severe mental illness. Not just grief, but other severe issues that went unaddressed by anyone in his life. Haru aside, we see multiple instances of Eric hallucinating. These moments are referred to as daydreaming, but in some of them, the reader is told he has a sense of foreboding, like something is wrong/he's forgetting something.
That doesn't read like daydreaming as a coping mechanism. That reads as someone that is struggling to distinguish fiction from reality and needs people in his life looking out for him (Kevin tries; we love Kevin.) But for most of the story (due to him pushing people away, I'm aware) he continues these extremely harmful cycles that no one is noticing.
By the end, he's doing better but that's mostly because he's... decided to do better, which isn't exactly the best message.
I also found the romance insufferable, but I probably should have guessed that when two movies I hate kept being referenced and even had the characters act out scenes from them. But I also struggled to connect with their relationship for two specific reasons.
The first: Haru was unbearable. Even in the prologue section where everyone could see him, he came off self-centered. One of the first times he shows up in the actual book, it's in Eric's bed (whilst Eric is asleep) and that's just supposed to be accepted and not questioned.
The second: we see Eric show interest in at least 5 guys during this 304 page novel, some overlapping time-wise It's not so much that I'm upset that he was interested in that many people, but when you have an entire book that hinges on a "strange, fateful connection" between he and Haru, that gets painfully undermined when it seems as though Eric feels connected (at least briefly) to every man that he perceives as being interested in him.
With all of this being said, there were a few things I thought this book did well. The family relationships, being the main ones. I really appreciated any scenes with Eric's family and wish we'd gotten more, even if I understand why that didn't happen. I also really liked the last few chapters. They reminded me of why I'd loved You've Reached Sam and I wish the whole book had been like that. (I don't like the epilogue, but that's just personal opinions.)
In the acknowledgements, Dustin Thao acknowledged that this wasn't the book he'd always wanted to write and how much he'd struggled with writing it. I wonder what this could have been if he hadn't been quite so restrained and had been allowed a bit more creative freedom.
Overall, this was kind of all over the place. It was a mess in a lot of ways, but it does still have an undercurrent of hope and finding your path after grief. I would recommend this, but maybe not to people expecting this to be as touching as You've Reached Sam.
I finished this book hours ago and have subsequently spent that time trying to figure out how to review this.
I want to start by saying I received an arc of You've Reached Sam in 2021 and adored it. I've also since followed Dustin Thao over the years and I really admire him as a person/author. I know this book was important to him and I don't want to diminish that.
However... I felt like this book fell flat in nearly every way possible. Due to the nature of the story, I can't go into much without heading into spoiler territory, but I can say that this was structurally messy and incredibly redundant.
For a book about grief, I felt like the grief aspects were actually really side-lined? Much of the story follows Eric after Daniel's death and we see his life in a downward spiral, until he finally caves and gets a job at a theater. This begins the absolutely thrilling saga of Asshole Coworker 1 and Asshole Coworker 2 taking him to party with a bunch of rich people, whom Eric subsequently allows to use him/actually gets assaulted by. This was not only painful to read, but also really tedious.
I understand that he was in that particularly place due to grief, but we focus a lot more on him trying to assimilate to really awful groups of people with little-to-no growth happening from those moments.
Carrying on from that point, Haru could have been written out of the book and none of the core aspects would have changed - other than a handful of scenes that they spend together, exploring the city.
Also... this might be spoiler territory, but Eric read as someone experiencing severe mental illness. Not just grief, but other severe issues that went unaddressed by anyone in his life. Haru aside, we see multiple instances of Eric hallucinating. These moments are referred to as daydreaming, but in some of them, the reader is told he has a sense of foreboding, like something is wrong/he's forgetting something.
That doesn't read like daydreaming as a coping mechanism. That reads as someone that is struggling to distinguish fiction from reality and needs people in his life looking out for him (Kevin tries; we love Kevin.) But for most of the story (due to him pushing people away, I'm aware) he continues these extremely harmful cycles that no one is noticing.
By the end, he's doing better but that's mostly because he's... decided to do better, which isn't exactly the best message.
I also found the romance insufferable, but I probably should have guessed that when two movies I hate kept being referenced and even had the characters act out scenes from them. But I also struggled to connect with their relationship for two specific reasons.
The first: Haru was unbearable. Even in the prologue section where everyone could see him, he came off self-centered. One of the first times he shows up in the actual book, it's in Eric's bed (whilst Eric is asleep) and that's just supposed to be accepted and not questioned.
The second: we see Eric show interest in at least 5 guys during this 304 page novel, some overlapping time-wise It's not so much that I'm upset that he was interested in that many people, but when you have an entire book that hinges on a "strange, fateful connection" between he and Haru, that gets painfully undermined when it seems as though Eric feels connected (at least briefly) to every man that he perceives as being interested in him.
With all of this being said, there were a few things I thought this book did well. The family relationships, being the main ones. I really appreciated any scenes with Eric's family and wish we'd gotten more, even if I understand why that didn't happen. I also really liked the last few chapters. They reminded me of why I'd loved You've Reached Sam and I wish the whole book had been like that. (I don't like the epilogue, but that's just personal opinions.)
In the acknowledgements, Dustin Thao acknowledged that this wasn't the book he'd always wanted to write and how much he'd struggled with writing it. I wonder what this could have been if he hadn't been quite so restrained and had been allowed a bit more creative freedom.
Overall, this was kind of all over the place. It was a mess in a lot of ways, but it does still have an undercurrent of hope and finding your path after grief. I would recommend this, but maybe not to people expecting this to be as touching as You've Reached Sam.
June 26, 2025
3.5 stars.
I struggle to find the right words to articulate my feelings about this book. It evoked a whirlwind of emotions in me, primarily making me cry. The author’s portrayal of Eric's grief struck me as profoundly realistic. He displayed classic signs of emotional turmoil—acting foolishly and retreating into himself as he grappled with loss. However, by the book's conclusion, I understood the author's depiction of Eric’s coping mechanisms. It reminded me that everyone navigates grief in their own unique way, and for Eric, this journey involved making poor choices and holding onto a person he barely knew.
We've all experienced moments when an insignificant detail or a seemingly random stranger becomes an unexpected source of solace during challenging times, and for Eric, that person turned out to be Haru. This connection illustrates how we often cling to fragile threads of comfort when the world feels overwhelming.
Did I like Eric? Honestly, I’m not sure that the intention was for readers to fall in love with him; rather, the author wanted us to sympathize with his pain and comprehend his struggles, even if we didn't entirely approve of his actions. I found myself liking him for the most part, which added a nuanced layer to my reading experience.
When it comes to Haru, the situation becomes more intricate. We barely scratch the surface of who the real Haru is throughout the story. Instead, we primarily encounter the version of Haru that Eric has crafted in his mind, a comforting figure born out of his grief and longing. This idealized Haru is undeniably likable and represents a safe harbor for Eric. However, this perception ultimately serves as a mirage, and it isn't until the end of the book that we get a glimpse of the authentic Haru, aside from the significant day they share at the beginning.
The evolution of the relationship between Eric and Haru is delicate and complicated to analyze, as it only begins to develop toward the end of the story. I appreciated how the author chose to depict Eric’s limited knowledge of Haru, as it grounds the narrative in reality; in moments of deep sadness, we often latch onto whatever provides us comfort, even if it is fleeting or based on an incomplete understanding.
In conclusion, I remain uncertain about my overall feelings toward this book. However, what resonates with me is the sense of hope that emerges from Eric and Haru’s reunion at the end. Their reconnection offers a bittersweet sense of closure amid the complexity of their experiences.
I struggle to find the right words to articulate my feelings about this book. It evoked a whirlwind of emotions in me, primarily making me cry. The author’s portrayal of Eric's grief struck me as profoundly realistic. He displayed classic signs of emotional turmoil—acting foolishly and retreating into himself as he grappled with loss. However, by the book's conclusion, I understood the author's depiction of Eric’s coping mechanisms. It reminded me that everyone navigates grief in their own unique way, and for Eric, this journey involved making poor choices and holding onto a person he barely knew.
We've all experienced moments when an insignificant detail or a seemingly random stranger becomes an unexpected source of solace during challenging times, and for Eric, that person turned out to be Haru. This connection illustrates how we often cling to fragile threads of comfort when the world feels overwhelming.
Did I like Eric? Honestly, I’m not sure that the intention was for readers to fall in love with him; rather, the author wanted us to sympathize with his pain and comprehend his struggles, even if we didn't entirely approve of his actions. I found myself liking him for the most part, which added a nuanced layer to my reading experience.
When it comes to Haru, the situation becomes more intricate. We barely scratch the surface of who the real Haru is throughout the story. Instead, we primarily encounter the version of Haru that Eric has crafted in his mind, a comforting figure born out of his grief and longing. This idealized Haru is undeniably likable and represents a safe harbor for Eric. However, this perception ultimately serves as a mirage, and it isn't until the end of the book that we get a glimpse of the authentic Haru, aside from the significant day they share at the beginning.
The evolution of the relationship between Eric and Haru is delicate and complicated to analyze, as it only begins to develop toward the end of the story. I appreciated how the author chose to depict Eric’s limited knowledge of Haru, as it grounds the narrative in reality; in moments of deep sadness, we often latch onto whatever provides us comfort, even if it is fleeting or based on an incomplete understanding.
In conclusion, I remain uncertain about my overall feelings toward this book. However, what resonates with me is the sense of hope that emerges from Eric and Haru’s reunion at the end. Their reconnection offers a bittersweet sense of closure amid the complexity of their experiences.
January 30, 2024
Well.
No me hablen.
-----
ME ESTOY ORINANDO CON ESA PORTADA. LA SINOPSIS IS GIVING PLATONIC LOVE Y YA LO QUIERO LEER AY POR FAVOR YA DENMELO.
---
SÍ, MÁS DUSTIN THAO.
Espero este libro me rompa en dos, me quite las ganas de vivir y me lastime el doble de lo que hizo You’ve Reached Sam 😘
No me hablen.
-----
ME ESTOY ORINANDO CON ESA PORTADA. LA SINOPSIS IS GIVING PLATONIC LOVE Y YA LO QUIERO LEER AY POR FAVOR YA DENMELO.
---
SÍ, MÁS DUSTIN THAO.
Espero este libro me rompa en dos, me quite las ganas de vivir y me lastime el doble de lo que hizo You’ve Reached Sam 😘
September 7, 2024
Dustin Thao why do you insist on making me cry at each of your books!
Thank you so much to Pan Macmillan for an Arc copy of this book. I loved “You’ve Reached Sam” by Dustin Thao, so I was very keen to read his sophomore book. This did not disappoint. I loved this one just as much and was not prepared for the ending as I did not see it coming and it broke me and I cried a lot.
This book was very healing for me too, as this past year both me and my partner have been grieving a huge loss, so the main character and topics of grief were really resonating with me. Dustin Thao writes about grieving in such a realistic manner, and shows the different coping mechanisms we all use to help us get through such dark and challenging life moments.
I loved this book and will read anything Dustin Thao releases in the future. If you liked “You’ve Reached Sam” then this is a definite must read for you too.
Thank you so much to Pan Macmillan for an Arc copy of this book. I loved “You’ve Reached Sam” by Dustin Thao, so I was very keen to read his sophomore book. This did not disappoint. I loved this one just as much and was not prepared for the ending as I did not see it coming and it broke me and I cried a lot.
This book was very healing for me too, as this past year both me and my partner have been grieving a huge loss, so the main character and topics of grief were really resonating with me. Dustin Thao writes about grieving in such a realistic manner, and shows the different coping mechanisms we all use to help us get through such dark and challenging life moments.
I loved this book and will read anything Dustin Thao releases in the future. If you liked “You’ve Reached Sam” then this is a definite must read for you too.
September 5, 2024
Przez większość tej książki nie rozumiałem o co chodzi, między kim powinna być rozgrywana główna relacja. Była to historia chaotyczna…
To wszystko brzmi jak idealny przepis na książkę nie dla mnie.
A jednak gdy przyszedł czas na zakończenie, potrzebowałem przerw, żeby się nie rozpłakać.
Historia ta opiera się na smutku spowodowanym stratą. Kulminacja tego uczucia pojawia się na koniec i jest przedstawiona w bardzo prosty sposób. Nie oczekujcie po niej żadnych innowacyjnych rozwiązań, czegoś czego nigdzie nigdy nie było.
Pamiętajcie tylko, że proste nie znaczy złe. I chyba właśnie to najbardziej na mnie zadziałało.
Ocena: 3,5.
To wszystko brzmi jak idealny przepis na książkę nie dla mnie.
A jednak gdy przyszedł czas na zakończenie, potrzebowałem przerw, żeby się nie rozpłakać.
Historia ta opiera się na smutku spowodowanym stratą. Kulminacja tego uczucia pojawia się na koniec i jest przedstawiona w bardzo prosty sposób. Nie oczekujcie po niej żadnych innowacyjnych rozwiązań, czegoś czego nigdzie nigdy nie było.
Pamiętajcie tylko, że proste nie znaczy złe. I chyba właśnie to najbardziej na mnie zadziałało.
Ocena: 3,5.
April 5, 2025
NGL, the best part of this book is the cover. 😔
Our MC goes through some shit.
He treats people like shit.
People treat him like shit.
Goes through like 5 romantic interests over the course of a 305 page book. 5!
And the kicker.... for me anyway........ IT NEVER EXPLAINS WHY HARU WAS FUCKING HERE AND THAT MAKES ME MENTAL, it's literally the fucking title!
PLEASE EXPLAIN when the fuck was haru here and why????
I have questions, with no answers.
The ending was as satisfying as being blue balled.
Plus, Haru is in the title, whilst only being on page about about 20% of the time, and I know the MC is grief stricken, but fuck he's a dog in the second half of this book. Treats Haru like shit and then sooks when he has to face the consequences of his own actions.
I don't know if this was 2 or 3 star. Maybe like a MEH 3 star?
Our MC goes through some shit.
He treats people like shit.
People treat him like shit.
Goes through like 5 romantic interests over the course of a 305 page book. 5!
And the kicker.... for me anyway........ IT NEVER EXPLAINS WHY HARU WAS FUCKING HERE AND THAT MAKES ME MENTAL, it's literally the fucking title!
PLEASE EXPLAIN when the fuck was haru here and why????
I have questions, with no answers.
The ending was as satisfying as being blue balled.
Plus, Haru is in the title, whilst only being on page about about 20% of the time, and I know the MC is grief stricken, but fuck he's a dog in the second half of this book. Treats Haru like shit and then sooks when he has to face the consequences of his own actions.
I don't know if this was 2 or 3 star. Maybe like a MEH 3 star?
August 28, 2025
(⭐4.5)
it's the way i'm still bawling my eyes out for me lol.
⋆˚࿔ the themes:
⤷ ゛ ˎˊ˗ loss and grief ,
⤷ ゛ ˎˊ˗ love and pain ,
⤷ ゛ ˎˊ˗ finding yourself amongst heartbreak.
⋆˚࿔ my thoughts
⟢ emotional damage
this book absolutely wrecked me.
i didn't notice it at first, how the quiet loneliness was slowly washing over me as i read about eric and how he lost his best friend.
however, i DID notice it in the last 20% or so.
my GOD. Dustin Thao, who hurt you ???
i will be needing the author to pay for my therapy bills thank you very much 🙂↕️
i didn't expect this book to affect me so much. the initial thought process was 'oh yeah, looks short and the cover is gorgeous so why not?'. now, my thoughts are just a jumbled, sobbing mess.
yeah, this one hit me so hard even my thoughts are crying.
⟢ the twist?!
the twist at the end wasn't a 'shock! horror!' twist for me. it was the slow looming of dread and impending heartache that descended upon me, and i genuinely can say i burst into tears when my reluctant suspicions were confirmed. i literally BURST out crying. i don't think i've ever done that to a book before 😭
i literally had no idea it was coming. usually, i think about potential plot twists in books and start to guess them pretty quick, but this book just wrapped me up in its loneliness and solitude, and i didn't even have time to think about what could get worse 💔🥹
THAT EPILOGUE WAS EVIL, MR THAO. THE WAY I CRIED AGAIN.
⟢ eric my babyyyy 😭
i love our main character so much. eric is such a cutie pie, i was rooting for him in every scene. he was so determined yet so real, so tangible, as if he were an actual person, and this book were an autobiography.
i felt PERSONALLY offended whenever he got treated badly, and OH MY GOSH THE AMOUNT OF TIMES HE GOT TREATED BADLY. my poor baby omg 😭
i'm gonna adopt eric (he's 3 years older than me. and he's also a fictional character composed entirely of words on paper and hallucinations brought on by said words on paper).
⋆˚࿔ final thoughts
this has just solidified the notion in my mind that dustin thao is an auto-read author for me. i adore the writing style, the characters, the realism in his books - even if contemporary YA isn't something i can see myself enjoying, he has consistently surprised me with a book that tears my heart out of the cavity of my chest and then tenderly placed it back together again.
so, in short: i love you, dustin thao, and my soul is essentially yours for the breaking - i mean 'taking'.
it's the way i'm still bawling my eyes out for me lol.
⋆˚࿔ the themes:
⤷ ゛ ˎˊ˗ loss and grief ,
⤷ ゛ ˎˊ˗ love and pain ,
⤷ ゛ ˎˊ˗ finding yourself amongst heartbreak.
⋆˚࿔ my thoughts
⟢ emotional damage
this book absolutely wrecked me.
i didn't notice it at first, how the quiet loneliness was slowly washing over me as i read about eric and how he lost his best friend.
however, i DID notice it in the last 20% or so.
my GOD. Dustin Thao, who hurt you ???
i will be needing the author to pay for my therapy bills thank you very much 🙂↕️
i didn't expect this book to affect me so much. the initial thought process was 'oh yeah, looks short and the cover is gorgeous so why not?'. now, my thoughts are just a jumbled, sobbing mess.
yeah, this one hit me so hard even my thoughts are crying.
⟢ the twist?!
the twist at the end wasn't a 'shock! horror!' twist for me. it was the slow looming of dread and impending heartache that descended upon me, and i genuinely can say i burst into tears when my reluctant suspicions were confirmed. i literally BURST out crying. i don't think i've ever done that to a book before 😭
i literally had no idea it was coming. usually, i think about potential plot twists in books and start to guess them pretty quick, but this book just wrapped me up in its loneliness and solitude, and i didn't even have time to think about what could get worse 💔🥹
THAT EPILOGUE WAS EVIL, MR THAO. THE WAY I CRIED AGAIN.
⟢ eric my babyyyy 😭
i love our main character so much. eric is such a cutie pie, i was rooting for him in every scene. he was so determined yet so real, so tangible, as if he were an actual person, and this book were an autobiography.
i felt PERSONALLY offended whenever he got treated badly, and OH MY GOSH THE AMOUNT OF TIMES HE GOT TREATED BADLY. my poor baby omg 😭
i'm gonna adopt eric (he's 3 years older than me. and he's also a fictional character composed entirely of words on paper and hallucinations brought on by said words on paper).
⋆˚࿔ final thoughts
this has just solidified the notion in my mind that dustin thao is an auto-read author for me. i adore the writing style, the characters, the realism in his books - even if contemporary YA isn't something i can see myself enjoying, he has consistently surprised me with a book that tears my heart out of the cavity of my chest and then tenderly placed it back together again.
so, in short: i love you, dustin thao, and my soul is essentially yours for the breaking - i mean 'taking'.
September 10, 2024
4.25
(she's writing a review, wow i guess the book shattered her)
I'll be honest, You've reached Sam was good but it didn't make me shed a single tear so when I picked this book, I had no expectations, I had no idea what I am looking for from dustin.
This book broke me, the last 40 pages got the worst out of me.
The book started on a good note, it was tragic but not sad, life is life, it's not rainbows and sunflowers, it's tragic and the more I grow old, the more I realise and accept that.
230 pages into the book and I was like hmm I don't think it's a sad book per say, it's good, dustin's storytelling is really impressive and the book is way better than his debut novel but boy was I ready for what was about to come.
I guess part of the reason I like going into a book blindly is because the plot twist hits 10x harder when you're not expecting it. The final pages had me sobbing, bawling my eyes, grabbing for tissue paper, and gasping for air.
This is not your typical sad story, it won't be a tear-jerker from page 1 but it will tear your apart by the end of it.
(she's writing a review, wow i guess the book shattered her)
I'll be honest, You've reached Sam was good but it didn't make me shed a single tear so when I picked this book, I had no expectations, I had no idea what I am looking for from dustin.
This book broke me, the last 40 pages got the worst out of me.
The book started on a good note, it was tragic but not sad, life is life, it's not rainbows and sunflowers, it's tragic and the more I grow old, the more I realise and accept that.
230 pages into the book and I was like hmm I don't think it's a sad book per say, it's good, dustin's storytelling is really impressive and the book is way better than his debut novel but boy was I ready for what was about to come.
I guess part of the reason I like going into a book blindly is because the plot twist hits 10x harder when you're not expecting it. The final pages had me sobbing, bawling my eyes, grabbing for tissue paper, and gasping for air.
This is not your typical sad story, it won't be a tear-jerker from page 1 but it will tear your apart by the end of it.
Read
February 8, 2024I know I am going to be older when this book comes out with a crazy pretty af cover but I will be happier 🫣
May 16, 2024
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the arc.
Thao gave the people what they wanted. “When Haru Was Here” is a sad story, just like his previous novel. The issue is that it feels forced. I feel like (no hate to Thao) but he saw how the public responded to “You’ve Reached Sam” and decided he needed to make a book that discusses the same themes of grief and loss. And I think by doing this Thao didn't create something that he was truly passionate about creating. But I digress.
Onto the flaws of the book. The characters are dull, and this is an issue that can easily be fixed by simply adding more chapters. This would cause many of the events in the story to hit the reader SO MUCH harder because they will have a far deeper emotional connection to the characters. After all, two chapters are not enough.
Another issue is that Haru is an incredibly unexplored character, which I found made trying to fall in love with him difficult, because both me and the MC basically only know that his family owns a stationary store. This is an issue, because it really took away from how much I cared when things would happen between Eric(MC) and Haru
And, my final complaint, because I apparently woke up today and chose to be hypercritical is the sentence structure. Never before when reading a book have I ever been triggered by sentence structure, but there is an over abundance of simple sentences. And it made it incredibly choppy to read.
All in all, this book is getting a 2-star rating, due to it feeling like this should be the first draft.
Again, thank you to Netgalley and the publisher.
Thao gave the people what they wanted. “When Haru Was Here” is a sad story, just like his previous novel. The issue is that it feels forced. I feel like (no hate to Thao) but he saw how the public responded to “You’ve Reached Sam” and decided he needed to make a book that discusses the same themes of grief and loss. And I think by doing this Thao didn't create something that he was truly passionate about creating. But I digress.
Onto the flaws of the book. The characters are dull, and this is an issue that can easily be fixed by simply adding more chapters. This would cause many of the events in the story to hit the reader SO MUCH harder because they will have a far deeper emotional connection to the characters. After all, two chapters are not enough.
Another issue is that Haru is an incredibly unexplored character, which I found made trying to fall in love with him difficult, because both me and the MC basically only know that his family owns a stationary store. This is an issue, because it really took away from how much I cared when things would happen between Eric(MC) and Haru
And, my final complaint, because I apparently woke up today and chose to be hypercritical is the sentence structure. Never before when reading a book have I ever been triggered by sentence structure, but there is an over abundance of simple sentences. And it made it incredibly choppy to read.
All in all, this book is getting a 2-star rating, due to it feeling like this should be the first draft.
Again, thank you to Netgalley and the publisher.
November 20, 2024
❃ “I’m surprised you remember that.”
“Some memories are hard to forget.”
He smirks at this. “I’m glad to be one of them.”❃
First off I want to say thank you to Dustin Thao for unintentionally getting me out of my reading slump 🙏 I don’t think I’ve finished a full book in a few months now. I can’t even express how excited I was once I found out that Thao released another book. I ran straight to the library to check it out as soon as I found it. Thao is probably my favorite author of all time. Also, I am using this book for an essay I have to write in English’s Advanced comp lol. Anyways here’s my review:
This story follows Erik, the main character, a 19 year old who is dealing with the death of his best friend, David. We find out that he had feelings for David and he was an important person in his life. Before David's death, Erik had taken a school trip to Japan and found himself lost. He ended up meeting a charming local,Haru, and spent the whole day with him. After the day of touring and having fun, Erik had to leave and never saw Haru again. But about a year after David dies, Haru comes back into Erik’s life and makes the world seem less lonely. This book encompasses another way people could deal with grief and how, eventually, things get better.
I think it is astonishing how Dustin Thao could produce this piece of art as it’s only his second book he’s published. Now, I don’t think it's better than “You’ve Reached Sam”, but I still have to give it its props. That plot twist towards the end had me in tears real fast and I love how he wrapped up the story. That ending was perfect. I feel there isn’t much more to say without spoiling pieces of the book. Thank you Dustin Thao again 😭🙏 I haven’t finished a book in forever and I haven’t been able to write a review for even longer. I will try and do your book justice with my English essay. Overall, I’m giving this book 4 stars and I strongly recommend it, especially for “You’ve Reached Sam” fans. ❤️
Review by:
~𝙼𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚊
Pre-read:
......I already balled my eyes out at you've reached sam.....and then here comes this.....Dustin Thao is quickly becoming my fav author
“Some memories are hard to forget.”
He smirks at this. “I’m glad to be one of them.”❃
First off I want to say thank you to Dustin Thao for unintentionally getting me out of my reading slump 🙏 I don’t think I’ve finished a full book in a few months now. I can’t even express how excited I was once I found out that Thao released another book. I ran straight to the library to check it out as soon as I found it. Thao is probably my favorite author of all time. Also, I am using this book for an essay I have to write in English’s Advanced comp lol. Anyways here’s my review:
This story follows Erik, the main character, a 19 year old who is dealing with the death of his best friend, David. We find out that he had feelings for David and he was an important person in his life. Before David's death, Erik had taken a school trip to Japan and found himself lost. He ended up meeting a charming local,Haru, and spent the whole day with him. After the day of touring and having fun, Erik had to leave and never saw Haru again. But about a year after David dies, Haru comes back into Erik’s life and makes the world seem less lonely. This book encompasses another way people could deal with grief and how, eventually, things get better.
I think it is astonishing how Dustin Thao could produce this piece of art as it’s only his second book he’s published. Now, I don’t think it's better than “You’ve Reached Sam”, but I still have to give it its props. That plot twist towards the end had me in tears real fast and I love how he wrapped up the story. That ending was perfect. I feel there isn’t much more to say without spoiling pieces of the book. Thank you Dustin Thao again 😭🙏 I haven’t finished a book in forever and I haven’t been able to write a review for even longer. I will try and do your book justice with my English essay. Overall, I’m giving this book 4 stars and I strongly recommend it, especially for “You’ve Reached Sam” fans. ❤️
Review by:
~𝙼𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚊
Pre-read:
......I already balled my eyes out at you've reached sam.....and then here comes this.....Dustin Thao is quickly becoming my fav author
July 8, 2024
~~Thank you to NetGalley, St. Martin's Press, and Macmillan for the ARC!~~
1.5/5 stars rounded down.
I dunno if it's me or Thao, but this book just was not it.
I read You've Reached Sam back in 2021 and loved it; I even admitted in that review to crying so much that it tear-stained my glasses. I know typically author's sophomore authors are kinda similar to their debut, where the book follows some themes from its predecessor. Thao stated this directly in his acknowledgements, but some part of me wonders if he dreaded this, considering the themes of grief and loss in When Haru Was Here didn't feel as authentic as it did in his debut.
The characters felt so bland and boring. Eric floundered around for the first half before taking a nose dive after getting a job as a theater attendant. He meets these shitty coworkers who take him to rich people parties to climb the social ladder, but then he just ends up getting exploited by two different men, one of whom tried to SA him twice. That section of the book was so awful to read for me. It felt like Thao was trying to manipulate the reader into feeling bad for Eric by putting him in these situations.
What I'm about to reveal is the reason why I marked this whole review as spoilers, but I just have to talk about the ending because it's what bothered me the most.
Haru isn't dead. Eric was imagining a version of him he met in Japan, but then he ends up meeting the real Haru in the epilogue. That just annoyed me so much. I was trying to figure out what was up with Haru that I missed the actual plot twist, that Eric's sister Jasmine died shortly after Daniel. The twist smacked me right in the face, and I was so confused until I realized Eric was deluding to himself so the reader wouldn't catch on so easily. There were a couple hints in hindsight (i.e., she has a chronic illness, she somehow always knew to call or show up when Eric needed her to, the constant flashbacks to their childhood showing how much they loved each other, etc.), but this still was such a bad twist. Eric was already actively grieving Daniel's death over the course of the story, and when the surprise dead sister reveal did come, it felt so cheap and disengaged me from the story entirely. I dunno, I just feel like there could have been a better way this story could have been written.
The comparison between this book and Sam is going to be inevitable, but I will dig my heels into the ground and say Sam was done so much better. Julie grieving her boyfriend and getting to talk to him is so much more personable and heartbreaking than what Eric had with Haru. Not only was this Haru an illusion Eric made up, but fake Haru has no personality outside of wanting to be with Eric and that his family owns a paper store in Osaka. There's nothing to Eric and Haru's relationship outside of artificial attraction, a rather one-sided thing considering nothing that happened between them was ever real (And the fact they really do meet again makes me was to roll my eyes down into my skull).
Overall, When Haru Was Here didn't hit like Thao's debut for me. I wish Thao allowed himself to be more ambitious rather than do what was expected from the readers who loved You've Reached Sam. Maybe he will if he decides to write another book, but I dunno.
1.5/5 stars rounded down.
I dunno if it's me or Thao, but this book just was not it.
I read You've Reached Sam back in 2021 and loved it; I even admitted in that review to crying so much that it tear-stained my glasses. I know typically author's sophomore authors are kinda similar to their debut, where the book follows some themes from its predecessor. Thao stated this directly in his acknowledgements, but some part of me wonders if he dreaded this, considering the themes of grief and loss in When Haru Was Here didn't feel as authentic as it did in his debut.
The characters felt so bland and boring. Eric floundered around for the first half before taking a nose dive after getting a job as a theater attendant. He meets these shitty coworkers who take him to rich people parties to climb the social ladder, but then he just ends up getting exploited by two different men, one of whom tried to SA him twice. That section of the book was so awful to read for me. It felt like Thao was trying to manipulate the reader into feeling bad for Eric by putting him in these situations.
What I'm about to reveal is the reason why I marked this whole review as spoilers, but I just have to talk about the ending because it's what bothered me the most.
Haru isn't dead. Eric was imagining a version of him he met in Japan, but then he ends up meeting the real Haru in the epilogue. That just annoyed me so much. I was trying to figure out what was up with Haru that I missed the actual plot twist, that Eric's sister Jasmine died shortly after Daniel. The twist smacked me right in the face, and I was so confused until I realized Eric was deluding to himself so the reader wouldn't catch on so easily. There were a couple hints in hindsight (i.e., she has a chronic illness, she somehow always knew to call or show up when Eric needed her to, the constant flashbacks to their childhood showing how much they loved each other, etc.), but this still was such a bad twist. Eric was already actively grieving Daniel's death over the course of the story, and when the surprise dead sister reveal did come, it felt so cheap and disengaged me from the story entirely. I dunno, I just feel like there could have been a better way this story could have been written.
The comparison between this book and Sam is going to be inevitable, but I will dig my heels into the ground and say Sam was done so much better. Julie grieving her boyfriend and getting to talk to him is so much more personable and heartbreaking than what Eric had with Haru. Not only was this Haru an illusion Eric made up, but fake Haru has no personality outside of wanting to be with Eric and that his family owns a paper store in Osaka. There's nothing to Eric and Haru's relationship outside of artificial attraction, a rather one-sided thing considering nothing that happened between them was ever real (And the fact they really do meet again makes me was to roll my eyes down into my skull).
Overall, When Haru Was Here didn't hit like Thao's debut for me. I wish Thao allowed himself to be more ambitious rather than do what was expected from the readers who loved You've Reached Sam. Maybe he will if he decides to write another book, but I dunno.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 12, 2025
This book low-key felt kinda rushed?? But it was still good.
Want to read
January 19, 2024he’s announcing this book next weeeeeeek👀
———
you know what screw you dustin thao for breaking my heart so miserably at two am with You’ve Reached Sam and screw you for writing another book that i will preorder the moment i can
———
you know what screw you dustin thao for breaking my heart so miserably at two am with You’ve Reached Sam and screw you for writing another book that i will preorder the moment i can
November 16, 2025
2.5
I rounded it to a 3 bc I’m not a heartless bitch (I think)
I need some time to think about this… I’ll come back to it later
review:
ok I'm back. now where do i begin. dustin thao and i will never get along, i have learned that after this book. I had many problems with "you've reached sam" but it was a pretty sad story so i looked past it. i thought this book would be it for me though, i thought the grief would eat me up and have me BAWLING but NO. instead it had me RAGING ^-^
to begin, the story started off well! and then everything went wrong a quarter way through. like first of all, does eric not make a life decisions for HIMSELF?? i found he was only going to go to this certain uni because DANIEL was, even though the film program wasn't that great. and then HE CRUSHES ON MFING CHRISTAN?? AND MAKES CHOICES JUST TO PLEASE HIM AND MAKE HIM LIKE HIM??? again, with choosing unis that would be "christan approved", sleeping with him despite him saying "i don't bring boys like you (asians) to bed", and also being ok with nick kissing him without consent. PEOPLE CAN SAY "oh he just wants someone bc everyone left him" OK BUT HE DOESNT HAVE TO LOOK FOR THEM ROMANTICALLY??? HE COULDVE LITERALLY LEANED ON ALEX AND SIMON IF HE WANTED TO?? why is he shutting out people that CARE about him and indulging in people that MISUSE HIM? where is his SELF-RESPECT.
AND DANIEL? oh daniel. the first asshole of the book from the many more that were going to follow. I'm sorry you're dead buddy but you were a shitty friend. like first you kiss your friend, then you pretend nothing happened (which made him guess maybe u weren't gay), then you tell me YOU WERE SEEING SOMEONE, A MAN, (for MONTHS) without telling your friend, only for your friend to catch you kissing and for you to chase after them to say "I DIDNT' TELL YOU BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW HOW YOU WOULD REACT" and my favourite "THAT KISS WITH YOU MEANT NOTHING, IT WAS A MISTAKE" . okay so u kissed ur friend to find out if u were gay? or what? what the fuck was that mr. guinness world record holder for most asshole to every asshole. and u didn't tell them because why? because you knew it was wrong to INTIATE, AND ASK TO KISS YOUR SAME SEX FRIEND AND PROCEED TO PRETEND NOTHING HAPPENED FOR OVER A YEAR only to date a guy behind their back? by the fucking way, your boyfriend was cheating on you before you died and dates that guy now. a year after your dead. so you lost both ways man.
AND ERIC???? when he was gonna go to that dance with daniel, he had the AUDACITY to think "maybe i can make it something more *heart eyes*" ARE YOU FUCKING STUPUD?? first of all where is your SELF RESPECT (again). and ??? wtf why do you want a man that was taken?? what if leighton was actually a good guy?? AND DONT JUSTIFY THIS BEHAVIOUR ANYONE BECAUSE THIS WAS
ALSO. eric needs HELP. i know this is about processing grief and all that but he actually needs help. no this isn't magical realism this is DELUSION. if magic realism was the way dustin thao was going with this, it didn't turn out that way. not to me at least.
also the plot twist was unbelievable. which is why I rounded the rating to three because some of the shit he said and the way he acted finally made sense i mean i didn't even expect that plot twist, so great job dustin.
i think overall it was just very poorly executed. the idea was great, and i have read books where authors have written characters who are difficult to understand and flawed but all of dustin thaos characters (including the fl in yrs) are just FRUSTRATING to be around. furthermore, the amount of shitty characters, and lack of closure from haru leaving is all so ??? pls do better. I'm so sorry like i haven't felt this strong hatred for a book since god knows when omfg. I'm gonna rate it a two stars actually I'm sorry this book actually pissed me off LOL
ok bye bye. i will be reading dustin thou books in the future bc i wanna see if we can ever get along AND i love the intense emotions i feel towards his books. ok bye bye
I rounded it to a 3 bc I’m not a heartless bitch (I think)
I need some time to think about this… I’ll come back to it later
review:
ok I'm back. now where do i begin. dustin thao and i will never get along, i have learned that after this book. I had many problems with "you've reached sam" but it was a pretty sad story so i looked past it. i thought this book would be it for me though, i thought the grief would eat me up and have me BAWLING but NO. instead it had me RAGING ^-^
to begin, the story started off well! and then everything went wrong a quarter way through. like first of all, does eric not make a life decisions for HIMSELF?? i found he was only going to go to this certain uni because DANIEL was, even though the film program wasn't that great. and then HE CRUSHES ON MFING CHRISTAN?? AND MAKES CHOICES JUST TO PLEASE HIM AND MAKE HIM LIKE HIM??? again, with choosing unis that would be "christan approved", sleeping with him despite him saying "i don't bring boys like you (asians) to bed", and also being ok with nick kissing him without consent. PEOPLE CAN SAY "oh he just wants someone bc everyone left him" OK BUT HE DOESNT HAVE TO LOOK FOR THEM ROMANTICALLY??? HE COULDVE LITERALLY LEANED ON ALEX AND SIMON IF HE WANTED TO?? why is he shutting out people that CARE about him and indulging in people that MISUSE HIM? where is his SELF-RESPECT.
AND DANIEL? oh daniel. the first asshole of the book from the many more that were going to follow. I'm sorry you're dead buddy but you were a shitty friend. like first you kiss your friend, then you pretend nothing happened (which made him guess maybe u weren't gay), then you tell me YOU WERE SEEING SOMEONE, A MAN, (for MONTHS) without telling your friend, only for your friend to catch you kissing and for you to chase after them to say "I DIDNT' TELL YOU BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW HOW YOU WOULD REACT" and my favourite "THAT KISS WITH YOU MEANT NOTHING, IT WAS A MISTAKE" . okay so u kissed ur friend to find out if u were gay? or what? what the fuck was that mr. guinness world record holder for most asshole to every asshole. and u didn't tell them because why? because you knew it was wrong to INTIATE, AND ASK TO KISS YOUR SAME SEX FRIEND AND PROCEED TO PRETEND NOTHING HAPPENED FOR OVER A YEAR only to date a guy behind their back? by the fucking way, your boyfriend was cheating on you before you died and dates that guy now. a year after your dead. so you lost both ways man.
AND ERIC???? when he was gonna go to that dance with daniel, he had the AUDACITY to think "maybe i can make it something more *heart eyes*" ARE YOU FUCKING STUPUD?? first of all where is your SELF RESPECT (again). and ??? wtf why do you want a man that was taken?? what if leighton was actually a good guy?? AND DONT JUSTIFY THIS BEHAVIOUR ANYONE BECAUSE THIS WAS
ALSO. eric needs HELP. i know this is about processing grief and all that but he actually needs help. no this isn't magical realism this is DELUSION. if magic realism was the way dustin thao was going with this, it didn't turn out that way. not to me at least.
also the plot twist was unbelievable. which is why I rounded the rating to three because some of the shit he said and the way he acted finally made sense i mean i didn't even expect that plot twist, so great job dustin.
i think overall it was just very poorly executed. the idea was great, and i have read books where authors have written characters who are difficult to understand and flawed but all of dustin thaos characters (including the fl in yrs) are just FRUSTRATING to be around. furthermore, the amount of shitty characters, and lack of closure from haru leaving is all so ??? pls do better. I'm so sorry like i haven't felt this strong hatred for a book since god knows when omfg. I'm gonna rate it a two stars actually I'm sorry this book actually pissed me off LOL
ok bye bye. i will be reading dustin thou books in the future bc i wanna see if we can ever get along AND i love the intense emotions i feel towards his books. ok bye bye
October 15, 2024
did I read the same thing as everyone else 😭😭
February 4, 2025
Rarely do I enjoy books set in Chicago because I've lived around there all my life, but Dustin Thao changed me. He writes grief & coming-of-age in such a unique way, weaved into magical realism that you simply have to accept without much explanation when it comes to his books. Letters after death get me every time, and this was no exception.
I just want to give Eric a big hug. Poor bb has been through more than enough.
I just want to give Eric a big hug. Poor bb has been through more than enough.
October 27, 2024
I was sooooo ready to give this 2 stars.... until I finally reached the last few chapters and read the plot twist........
DUSTIN THAO YOU DID IT AGAIN!! YOU DESTROYED MY LIFE ONCE AGAIN AND I WON'T BE ABLE TO MOVE ON FROM THIS BOOK!!!
(I still haven't moved on from You've Reached Sam either lmao)
DUSTIN THAO YOU DID IT AGAIN!! YOU DESTROYED MY LIFE ONCE AGAIN AND I WON'T BE ABLE TO MOVE ON FROM THIS BOOK!!!
(I still haven't moved on from You've Reached Sam either lmao)
Want to read
April 14, 2024I don't think Im emotionally prepared for this 😩.
Can't wait for September already...
Can't wait for September already...
Want to read
June 18, 2022yaaaay can't wait to be destroyed again
January 12, 2025
never been so disappointed I didn't cry
May 4, 2025
I definitely preferred this one to “You’ve reached Sam”. I felt the emotions more deeply and the characters seemed more substantial.
Eric has lost his best friend and first unrequited love; Daniel. In his grief he begins to hallucinate a boy he met on a school trip to Japan; Haru.
Eric spends time with Haru, he helps him to come out of his shell and attempt to move forward with his life.
But ultimately, Haru is not truly there, and there are things Eric is hiding from and must come to face.
I particularly found the twist
Eric has lost his best friend and first unrequited love; Daniel. In his grief he begins to hallucinate a boy he met on a school trip to Japan; Haru.
Eric spends time with Haru, he helps him to come out of his shell and attempt to move forward with his life.
But ultimately, Haru is not truly there, and there are things Eric is hiding from and must come to face.
I particularly found the twist
July 2, 2025
✰"I think I finally got my wish." ✰
4.75 ⭐️
OH MY GODDD I loved this book!! It was so cute, touching, deep, ughh it was amazing 🥹
I got so engrossed in all the characters that I was starting to legit tear up near the end 😭
I also loved the friendship between the mc and Simon and Alex! I wasn't sure about those two at first but it ended up being such a cute friendship 💗
The only thing that was not the best was that sometimes the time jumps/a couple of the plot twists would be slightly confusing but I didn't mind too much!!
Would def recommend 🫶🏻🩷
4.75 ⭐️
OH MY GODDD I loved this book!! It was so cute, touching, deep, ughh it was amazing 🥹
I got so engrossed in all the characters that I was starting to legit tear up near the end 😭
I also loved the friendship between the mc and Simon and Alex! I wasn't sure about those two at first but it ended up being such a cute friendship 💗
The only thing that was not the best was that sometimes the time jumps/a couple of the plot twists would be slightly confusing but I didn't mind too much!!
Would def recommend 🫶🏻🩷
January 25, 2025
Tras leer Has llamado a Sam, estaba deseando que su nueva novela llegase a España para poder leerla.
Los personajes de esta obra están bien definidos. A través de su protagonista podemos ver cómo el duelo empuja a alguien a la confusión y la negación de la realidad. A pesar de que algunas decisiones que toma no son del todo acertadas, en todo momento lucha por encontrar un equilibro entre el dolor y la vida.
En cuanto a los personajes secundarios me ha gustado mucho Jasmine, hermana y gran apoyo de Eric. Simplemente genial.
La pluma de Dustin Thao se caracteriza por ser sencilla y bonita a la vez. La trama puede resultar similar a su primera novela, pero en esta muestra una mayor madurez en la forma de tratar temas como el duelo y la pérdida. A pesar de su tono melancólico, la narración es esperanzadora y busca transmitir que, aunque no podamos cambiar el pasado, siempre podemos avanzar.
El final puede resultar ambiguo, pero este desenlace que ha escrito el autor invita a la reflexión y me ha encantado.
En definitiva, una historia que mezcla el romance, la fantasía y el dolor de una manera sorprendente. La línea entre la realidad y la fantasía es borrosa, pero esta ambigüedad forma parte de su encanto. Sin duda, Dustin Thao es un autor capaz de llegar al corazón con una prosa que es tan dolorosa como reconfortante.
Los personajes de esta obra están bien definidos. A través de su protagonista podemos ver cómo el duelo empuja a alguien a la confusión y la negación de la realidad. A pesar de que algunas decisiones que toma no son del todo acertadas, en todo momento lucha por encontrar un equilibro entre el dolor y la vida.
En cuanto a los personajes secundarios me ha gustado mucho Jasmine, hermana y gran apoyo de Eric. Simplemente genial.
La pluma de Dustin Thao se caracteriza por ser sencilla y bonita a la vez. La trama puede resultar similar a su primera novela, pero en esta muestra una mayor madurez en la forma de tratar temas como el duelo y la pérdida. A pesar de su tono melancólico, la narración es esperanzadora y busca transmitir que, aunque no podamos cambiar el pasado, siempre podemos avanzar.
El final puede resultar ambiguo, pero este desenlace que ha escrito el autor invita a la reflexión y me ha encantado.
En definitiva, una historia que mezcla el romance, la fantasía y el dolor de una manera sorprendente. La línea entre la realidad y la fantasía es borrosa, pero esta ambigüedad forma parte de su encanto. Sin duda, Dustin Thao es un autor capaz de llegar al corazón con una prosa que es tan dolorosa como reconfortante.
September 1, 2025
Dustin Thao, I love your works but I cannot defend this one. The story definitely fell flat in a lot of parts where it just felt like throwing random deaths and Eric being in an intense state of maladaptive daydreaming. There’s multiple times where I wanted to yoink Eric screaming at him “WHAT ARE YOU DOING”. Like going out with the same guy who wanted to get at you and you didn’t feel comfortable the first time around. But I understand in some parts that he was desperately seeking comfort after the painful deaths he was coping with.
and the taylor swift that I would dedicate to this book is..
taylor swift - bigger than the whole sky
and the taylor swift that I would dedicate to this book is..
taylor swift - bigger than the whole sky
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