Nothing like thinking you've settled in with a nice, murder-filled, bit of crime fiction...only to have it turn out to be the insane kind of masturbatory fantasy that Anita Sarkeesian would get off to.
Where do I start? Well, it kicked off with a kind of regular premise: body found, clichés about it probably being a mannequin foment in our protag's internal monologue, the initial hook being how the victim looked like our MC. Fine, whatever. I'm just here for the gratuitous violence and potentially interesting plot.
Then we get the connection to the Black Dahlia murder of Elizabeth Short. Okay. Author has done her research, delved into the possible connections drawn between surrealist artists and the likely perpetrator George Hodel, probably having read the books written by Hodel's son who ended up becoming a cop himself. I thought she might have read/looked at 'Exquisite Corpse' (Mark Nelson & Sarah Hudson Bayliss) which I've got a copy of myself, but she doesn't include it in the reference section at the end of the book, so I guess not.
Anyway, what seemed to be a story that hinged on one angle, soon became apparent that it was veering off in another direction, only to then completely jump the shark and start creating a bunch of hilariously cringe-inducing messages on a forum on the dum...dum...dum...DARK NET! Ha! The year is 2024 and we're still seeing people refer to TOR as one big cess-pool full of nothing but paedophiles and misogynists, and not just a way for boring-assed normal people to not have to a/ keep worrying that their desire to read the New York Times (just don't...it's pure cancer) will become public knowledge, or b/ go through a paywall to access various scientific studies and journals (and considering the amount of absolute trash that gets published on the back of the peer-review process - which was supposed to act as a form of extremely valid gatekeeping, only to have been completely hijacked by all the retarded radical leftists now inhabiting academia and cosigning one another's bullshit "studies) even that has become a quagmire of nonsense-mongering that you have to actually wade through to get to the stuff worth reading. The irony that most people just want to use TOR to avoid being tracked and/or have their data mined/sold on via clearnet domains, whilst in this story it was the Mega, MAGA, MGTOWs who were being all sinister and stalking people via the Onion router, was not lost on me. JFC.
Because it turns out that everything is the work of online misogynists. Why wouldn't it be? What bigger bogeyman is there out there, to cause fuckwitted femoids to lose their collective shit and seek out their local Wiccan priestess to cast some sort of protection spell over them, in current fucking era?
The dude who delivers your potted plants? Oh he's always salivating away at your smoking hot rack.
The guy who comes in every day to look at the same plants? Super creepy. (And let's not bother bringing that dead end to any useful conclusion. Because why should you feel as though 400 pages of reading entitles you to know anything more than the misandrist claptrap that the author really needs you to get on board with.)
Your mum's new husband tries to do a nice thing for you because your life has basically gone to shit, so he's probably just a sleaze-ball or a homicidal maniac. Because like...um...duh...men! Amirite?
Yeah, naw. Miss me with that weird man-hating garbage. And if you're going to want to imbue your story with even a shred of believability, it's probably not a good idea to use Laura - psycho hosebeast - Bates (aka the founder of the 'Everyday Sexism Project') as your portal into anything approaching reality. That whacko bint has been grifting off of how hard it is to just be a woman for over a decade now, and someone really needs to get in touch with Roosh V pronto, because Bates is out there, earning money, and the patriarchy have yet to step in and stop her! How? I have no idea.
But hey, don't let something as ridiculous as a handful of handles that are only a sidestep away from having been created to say something like: '@A_Certain_Austrian_Painter_Did_Nothing_Wrong_1488'. I wish I were kidding. Are there ridiculous edgy-boi usernames all over the internet? Course there are. Are most of them ironic, and the rest of the moronic? Why yes, they are. Has Ashley Kalagian-Blunt bought into the notion that almost all men - especially all men online - are completely psychopathic misogynists? It bloody well feels like it.
The cranking up towards the ending signals who really did it, by doing what all amateur thriller writers think is the smartest way to throw a reader off the scent: only briefly mentioning the perpetrator in passing a couple of times, never drawing any extra attention to them and hoping that this is the reader's first rodeo and they won't notice the glaring omission of anything other than the merest hint at banality.
By the end of the book the protag (can't even remember her bloody name and I've literally just read the entire book in one sitting, lol) has:
1/ been stalked as a teenager after lying about her age and going all 'Surprised Pikachu' face when it turns out the dude she was lying to, was also lying to her about his age too.
2/ For some reason just let this guy stalk her for years, because despite having plenty of evidence to show that he was doing this, all she really did was spaz out and not really give the police much to go on.
3/ Somehow despite Googling her stalker's name every day for years had never found out that he had died - even though the stalking stopped and it would have only taken a quick check at the births/marriages/deaths lists anyone can find online.
4/ Come across a dead body and not called the police because that would somehow, for some reason, be more suspicious than her fleeing the scene of a crime and having a "tip-off" phone-call she made to the police end up being traced to her anyway.
5/ Turned up to multiple other body-dumps of subsequent murders with her friend who happens to be a true-crime nut, who has a contact within the police force, again not bothering to go see said police contact with her friend because that would probably have cut out half of the remainder of the book.
6/ Become the target of an online dark web (BOO! Scary!) forum of comically OTT women-haters who get her swatted/have her bank accounts frozen/put hidden cameras in her home/post deepfake revenge-porn of her online and send it to everyone on her business mailing list.
We're supposed to believe that this chick is terrified of her own shadow, yet she gets up the balls to break into someone's apartment and steal some laptops that show all of the misogynist forum crap, which she is then able to get access to because her friend is like, super connected to white-hat hackers, or some dumb shit. But the funniest part about this is the fact that she's seen breaking into this apartment, but the people who see her do it are women, and when she just tells them that she's trying to find some leverage to use on a guy who ghosted her after creating revenge-porn of her, they just go "Oh right, cool story babe, carry on breaking and entering." BECAUSE REMEMBER IT'S JUST A REALLY AWFUL WORLD OUT THERE FOR WOMEN TO EXIST IN, AND ALL Y'ALL SISTERS HAVE GOTTA HAVE EACH OTHERS' BACKS. Fr. Fr.
Good to know that women have no common sense and will allow any other woman to commit high crimes and misdemeanours as long as you explain it away as being something, something, gotta get back at those pesky mens, because...reasons.
This is not the power move you think it is, Ashley.
Of course the ending has the ubiquitous, unbelievable scene in which a man who has knocked our little woman out and strapped her to a mortuary table, is of course magically overpowered by said woman, who goes on to save her own life and that of her friend too. Because girl-power.
Turns out that the super-smart chick who was really dialled into the crime scene, wasn't able to see what was going on under her nose the entire time. But hey, that's cool because now this couple of broads can decide to renounce men forever, become immediate U-Haul lesbians, move in together and aside from the boy-child (who will have to be systematically deprogrammed, overly medicated on ADHD drugs, or trooned out entirely to stop him from becoming another evil misogynist) can just live the rest of their lives with their cycles synched up and the Korean grandmother being a round-the-clock babysitter, so the children don't end up cramping their style.
Two stars awarded for the Black Dahlia research, but other than that, this was a 400 page load of batshit insane nonsense, for which I will never get back the time spent willing myself all the way to the end.
Women: can't live with them, can't just put a bullet in all of their heads, because then who would be left to make the goddamn sandwiches?