Vampires Don't Suck

Singsong City #1

by Juliann Whicker

One mystery, one romance, and a fire-belching bulldog.

In the heart of Singsong City, a retired assassin seeks refuge among the shelves of her beloved library. But when a familiar face from her past resurfaces, she is drawn back into a world of danger and deceit. With the help of an unlikely ally, she must unravel the mysteries of her own past before they consume her future. Will she find peace in the quiet of the stacks, or will the shadows of her past drag her back into the fray?

Vampires Don’t Suck is the first book in the Singsong City series. It is a standalone paranormal romantic comedy featuring elves, werewolves, witches, vampires, and angel assassins. It is packed with puns, battles, and a sweet, slow burn romance between an oblivious librarian assassin and the brilliant deadly vampire who rules the undercity with an iron grip. Also sushi.

Genres: Urban Fantasy, Fantasy, Vampires, Paranormal, Magic, Romance, Paranormal Romance

308 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 19, 2024

About the author

She loves gardening, crafts, collecting craft books, and all things fantasy, particularly the urban kind.

When she isn't feeding her bernadoodle snacks, she can be found hiding in her garden writing tales of enchantment and romance. Also weirdness.

Reviews

[Erin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Needs to be proofread please!!! Do yourself a favor and decide what pronouns to use for the dog, for the love of continuity that dog changes pronouns from page to page and often in the same sentence, and it's clear that there was confusion on how to address the dog while writing them in. It definitely spoke more to indecision than to the dog possibly using various pronouns to identify itself by.

There's also several instances of gramatical errors which we can always forgive, but there were quite a few that were hard to ignore, such as "I'd was about to punch".

All in all this story was very entertaining, comical, and engaging, I did thoroughly enjoy reading it despite the need for a proofreading. I look forward to reading more from this author.

[Ashley (Red-Haired Ash Reads)]

DNF 128 (43%)

While this world is very unique and interesting, I am struggling with this story. This is a very unique world with paranormal creatures, magic, assassins, and music being used to restore buildings. I was enjoying the unique world but I couldn’t get past my issues with the heroine, the lack of explanation for things that are clearly supposed to be important, and the plot being all over the place.

First Libby (I think that's her name, it's only mentioned once) is a former assassin of the House of Mercy and is now a librarian in a magical library. For being a former assassin, she is very unconcerned about her safety and also is just pretty clueless about normal things, which you would think that would be something an assassin would be trained in so they can be effective. My other issue with her is that she is very prejudiced against all monsters, but vampires especially, and yet we are never given a solid reason as to why. But she also offers her blood to a vampire a couple of times, which makes no sense.

The plot of this book was all over the place. It felt like every other chapter we were given another important plot thread that would be discussed until the next big plot thread came along. I am very confused on which plot point is the main one at this point and I made it almost halfway through the book. Also we are constantly being given references to things that are clearly supposed to be important but no follow up explanation as to why was provided. It quickly got old on top of the plot being all over the place.

TW: PTSD; prejudice against monster; brief mentions of capture and torture;

[Lorrie (Clockworkbookworm) · Rating 3 out of 5]

2024 Reads #459/250
3.5⭐️ Enjoyed, but it missed the conclusion of a few storylines, and the characters have a somewhat superficial/shallow emotional connection. It was a quick and fun read, though.

Online Availability:
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(Virtual Voice Narration 😒👎*)

* NOTE: I checked out the Virtual Voice sample, and it doesn't sound bad, but I prefer human, non-AI narration. All three (3) audiobooks are Virtual Voice on Audible.

[Jody · Rating 3 out of 5]

interesting.

I didn’t think it was funny. And The title was quite deceiving.
It was an interesting read, but quite wordy.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loving Singsong City and the cast of sushi addicted characters we're meeting. I'm up to book 3, Sorcerers Don't Sing, and each book is better than the previous.

Regarding this book - assassins, librarians, angels, demons, vampires, dragons, city healing musicians and witty interactions between matured characters. So much to love.

Highly recommend. Read through KU and will buy 30+ days after I return it.

cross posted bookbub, goodreads.

[Kassidy Griffin]

While I liked the premise of the story and the book didn’t have any explicit content, there was just too much focus on demons for me.

I don’t feel comfortable reading that type of content so it’s a pass for me.

[Random · Rating 2 out of 5]

An interesting premise on a well-used PNR trope

I'm am not sure if this book could be any more targeted at me: vampires, check; former assassin turned librarian, check check; urban fantasy elements; yup, super check. So, why only two stars?

It was so difficult to read. Maybe it was just me, but it almost felt like every other sentence was missing. I had to reread several passages to understand what was happening or who the dialog was from and who it was meant for. I think the author was trying to connect the character to the reader, but I found it very confusing.

If the dialog was the only issue, I could put it down as a rough first book and give it three stars. But, this was not a romantic comedy to me, so I took off another star. I am going to read the next book in the series to see if it was just a rough start to a series.

[S Lynn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was odd. Good, but odd. It is advertised as a new series of standalone novels, but the whole time I was reading it, I felt like it was an extension story from another series. There was a lot about the world and characters that felt like readers should know about already that are not explained well. The characters are meant to be mysterious, which is fine. But there is a fine line between mystery and confusion and the story never settled. So while I enjoyed the world and characters, I was also rather confused and don’t think I’m going to keep reading the series.

[Heather · Rating 2 out of 5]

Really unique twist on the magic in this book and a great story idea but it feels like the book was over edited and the author didn’t get to dive as deeply into this world and the characters as needed.

[Sierra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reader’s Notes:

*Series or Connected Books?* part of a series, but can be read as a stand-alone

*Point Of View:* Libby

*Any Cursing Or Possibly Offensive Language?* none!

*Romance?* Yes! Just kisses (one with the guy’s shirt being removed during the kissing); story ends with a wedding & the couple getting to their bed (no mention of removing clothes or anything like that before the story ends)

-it is (incorrectly) once suggested that a character thought another got their position by sleeping with their boss

-there was another suggestive comment or two (unrelated to the one above)

*Things To Know:*

–magic is done through runes & music in this world

-it is mentioned that some of the magic done had characters using blood to make the rune shapes

-there are mentions of fantasy violence, blood, & death (in the past & present events)

-it is mentioned/shown that a vampire turns another character into a vampire (required multiple bites)

Review:

I removed a star mainly due to how much of the story was connected to demons and the amount of blood aspects were mentioned (both magic wise & death wise). I wasn’t fully comfortable with them.

I did enjoy learning about this urban fantasy world and how it worked. It was interesting to see how the various magical races were divided. I loved the idea of the magical library Libby worked at and how it worked. And her unexpected fire expelling dog companion was a humorous touch to the story! 😂 I enjoyed Stead’s attempts at wooing Libby too. He was cute trying to bridge the gap, but she was a bit oblivious due to her past and not really having a good example of what it’d look like. I also loved Libby’s friends and how they tried knocking some sense into her for various things. 😂

I currently don’t think I’ll continue to read this series as I’m leaning towards the idea that the other books having similar content that I wasn’t comfortable with (from this book).

Summary:

Libby is a trained assassin who left the life at the first chance she got. Now she lives in Singsong City taking care of her beloved books at the local library. Despite the change in scenery, her assassin instincts have almost gotten her into trouble even with her attempts at burying them. But it’s hard to do that when she has to cross paths with creatures based in darkness. Even harder when her boss mandates that she gather materials for one of them researching a topic that most have given up on. A topic that Libby was involved in but doesn’t know much on how it happened.

With her new life in danger from more than one source, Libby is going to have to keep an eye on her back. But sometimes help comes from the most unlikely of places… and sometimes it’s even more potent than she’d ever expect…

[Megan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve always been a sucker for a slow burn romance, but since signing up for Kindle Unlimited recently, I’ve been almost exclusively entranced by paranormal/urban fantasy slow burn romances. This is definitely one worth reading. It’s a stand alone, which is nice to read as a break from series reading. I both liked and disliked both the main character and her love interest at the beginning and then grew to like them more as the book advanced, which is always nice. There were enough intriguing additional characters to make me hope for their stories to be told. The storyline, world, and plot were different enough from other books to draw me in and hold my interest, but not so detailed and convoluted to be exhausting or needing additional reading to explain. Would I be interested to read more? Yes. But I’m satisfied with this book as a stand alone.

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is actually about a 3.75, a good read. The fmc, Libby, is unusual. She has some pretty severe ptsd due to some family and other horrible trauma, and her life is consumed by routine and ritual. She's not misanthropic, but she doesn't trust people easily and is terrible at socializing like a neurotypical. Anyway, the mmc is very respectful of her traumas and it's a fairly sweet little love story in an interesting world where public works are run by musicians and music. I'll prob check out the rest of the series.

[Brittney Heilman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really loved this

I love a book that makes me laugh out loud. I loved the witty back and forth and the characters.

[Naomi · Rating 5 out of 5]

So much fun!
Love it so much, I am now listening to the audio book 💕

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hmm

It was really weird. And hard to follow. The beginning - and even up through the end - alludes to things that happened before this book takes place. But, no; I verified with the author that this is the first book and there is nothing before it. So it was a conscious choice on her part.

I also thought there would be more banter and playfulness than there was. This reminded a bit of the drier, British humor, so maybe that is why it was lost on me. But I didn’t find it funny. Or even as lighthearted as expected and what I was looking for.

The main characters sort of read as autistic a bit. Incapable of truly feeling, understanding or expressing emotions. Not understanding social cues and nuances. And this led to the romance being anything but romantic.

As I said, it was weird.

[Amy Bee · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was everything I wanted and needed

Was it a little confusing? Sure. Did it jump into a fully formed world with zero explanation? Yes to that too. Did I absolutely want more of everything in this book? YES! I will be looking up this author because this book had the ultimate hallmark of a great book- a sigh of contentment and a deep sense of regret that it was over.
Do yourself a favor and read this!

[R · Rating 5 out of 5]

**MINOR SPOILERS**
This book is the first book in the SingSong City series. Some of the characters appear in multiple books but I do not think there is an overarching story line so this one can be read as a standalone. They feature different types of magical creatures. In this one, the male main character is a very old half vampire; later in the book, you find out what his other half is. There were many times when it seemed as if there were preceding books to the story, though the back story is explained.
Sing is the part of the city that people of light live in. Song is the part of the city that the people of dark live in.
Libby is a very interesting and intelligent character. She is an orphan who spent about 20 years of her life as an assassin, beginning when she was 15 and her father died. She wants to find out who killed him but has been unsuccessful. After she was orphaned, she was taken in and trained. About four years before the story started, Libby successfully created an eternal fire. That fire is of interest to multiple people but they do not know that Libby was the one to start it. Libby’s magical background is interesting.
After that, she becomes a librarian of antiquities. She likes to do research and has other skills. She has spells she can do (especially death spells) but she can also do a variety of spells related to keeping the library intact and the books under control (some are demonic). At times, Libby appears to be neurodivergent, but this was not specifically stated by the author. Libby comes at some problems from an interesting angle which I enjoyed.
Libby also gets roped into helping play music to maintain the city. Parts of the city are held together by magical music. Libby is agreeable to this and becomes friends with the lead musician for the city and with her musical tutor.
Although Libby has secrets, she tends to be bluntly honest in her dealings with people. She also has a very good side as she cares deeply about people.
This book is told from Libby’s point of view, but you can guess a bit of what Michael might be thinking from things he says or does or that other people say about his behavior. I liked Michael and his protectiveness towards Libby. She is suspicious of him but later comes to believe in his motives. However, given her history as an assassin, I thought there were too many times she needed help. I think this was done to establish Michael’s character.
The secondary characters are interesting, including Cross, someone whom Libby has known most of her life.
I didn’t necessarily love the farting dog even though his farts lit fires – which saved Libby’s life.
I decided to read the second book in the series.

[Kieraanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the idea of this book, but it felt like it was missing a whole lot of detail. For example: where and when does this take place? They listened to some of the same music as us, so is it supposed to be America? What is the government like? Near the end, it mentions someone is the "Junior Senator of Texas." So...are they in Texas? What season/time of year is it? What is the weather like? They seemed to make a big deal about the Scholar not knowing about Libby's assassin past, but then when it comes out in the end, it's not treated as a big reveal or anything. Shouldn't there have been some kind of reaction from someone? The ending felt really rushed, without enough relationship building to justify the happily-ever-after. It seemed like there must be a whole lot more story going on behind the scenes that we weren't privy to.

Also; it was supposed to be funny? Maybe the degree to which everyone is overly obsessed with sushi is funny? MFC reads as neurodivergent, which is good for representation, I guess. She also seems to have an enhanced lifespan. She's 51 by my calculations but comes across as twenty something. Is everyone long lived by our standards, or is it because of her unique background? About her background: how did that happen? What were her parents' backgrounds? Come to think of it, who was her mom? Was she ever even mentioned? She seems to not have a regular metabolism either. The amount of food it describes her eating in one sitting would make a normal person sick. Then she goes four days without eating at one point, but seems fine?

I'm not sure if I'll read any of the other books in the series, although maybe they'll have more backstory for the other characters. 🤔

[Andrea]

DNF 43%

I liked the premise of the book, but this felt more like a continuation of some previous novel where we were suppose to know all the ins and outs of the world building- instead of the author just throwing things on the page and we are meant to fill in the blanks? Is this a companion novel to another series? The Blurb says it's standalone....so...

The magic system is complex, but not fleshed out. Is the heroine human? Witch? Can any one do magic? How old is she actually- at least 30 years, but she's aging backwards because she look younger now? What is Sing and Song in relation to anything else? Fae, werewolves, vampires all coexisting- if they are all on the dark spectrum what is light? Musicians and people who do magic- assassins who do magic are fighting for good- but the leader of the magical assassin institute is bad? Just endless questions.

Regardless, a lot of questions I could have happily overlooked if the writing wasn't so stilted and the characters had chemistry. The writing could be seen as having an oddball sense of whimsy at times- while other times just felt robotic and jumbled. And same goes for the characters- they were giving weird and charming one min then weird and off-putting the next.

Also Zero chemistry despite the writing telling me they had this strange enigmatic pull towards each other. Would have kept reading for the murder mystery/demon plot line, but was getting a bit tired of reading to continue. 😞

[Anita · Rating 5 out of 5]

I took a chance on this series based on Amazon recommending it to me. (They know me so well.) It's paranormal romance/urban fantasy and free on Kindle Unlimited. I was very pleasantly surprised. It took me a few beats to get into the characters, but once I realized the writing style was showing the awkwardness of the heroine, it clicked and become very funny to me.

The premise is that long ago, angles and demons fought on earth, and were forced back to their respective realms before they could nuke us. They left magical light and dark descendants, though. And Singsong is a magical city founded on mutual tolerance and cooperation. The city is falling down around everyone's ears, though, and needs a lot of magical upkeep in the form of music.

The main story is about a librarian at the library of antiquities, topside in Sing, connected to the Lab library underground in Song. She's an orphan and former assassin, living her best life translating dead languages and eating lots of sushi. She literally runs into the Scholar, a very old vampire, and is assigned to help him on a research project that just happens to overlap her personal research project and big secret. Then it starts to get funny the more complicated and intricate the plot becomes. There's an HEA by the end, too.

[Dahrose · Rating 3 out of 5]

Two things up front. Firstly, this book is barely funny - but that's okay, it doesn't need to be, it's imaginative and fast paced. (you won't miss the laughs). Secondly, there is no sex. None. A couple of hot kisses, a few naughty longing thoughts. but there is a sizzle factor that heats up gradually as this progresses. so it still gets a tick for the romance.

A lot was going on with this story - almost too much as the author throws a lot of random crap at you and not everything is needed, or ever mentioned again... so??? And despite a lot of explanation of angels, demons, sing, song, above and below - it came across as badly, bluntly done. There had to be 407 easier ways of getting across the world building.
And all the teasing about Libby and the fyre and her past - only bogged it down further, and 80% of it felt irrelevant.

I liked Libby (for the most part) and found her connection with the Library awesome and she had a unique way of thinking that was refreshing. Although her naivety on the dating front smacked of girlish stupidity.
The scholar was intriguing, and barely put a foot wrong.

This tale needed a damn good streamline edit - to get the world building in line and erase a lot of inconsequential extra stuff that bogged it down.

still, I enjoyed our h, the library, the romance and even the adventure - it just could use a lot of polishing.

[Thisgurl · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved the love story and the two MCs. It was quite sweet the way the Scholar courted the Librarian. And it was sweet the way the Librarian soaked up the attention. The world-building aspect was interesting but needed help. I kinda got it, but not really. I went with it because I was enjoying myself, and so I didn't stop and ponder things as much as I usually would.

Still, I had so many questions, even though I tried to just go with the flow. Libby was in a cage (Why and put there by whom exactly?) I think she was held there by vampires (but why??) She was bled out (again why?) To save herself she does a spell using her blood and a symbol she might have seen somewhere? (um what?) And then, boom, a forever fire, and she's out of the cage, struggling with PTSD. Okay i can buy that last part, but I would have liked those details to make it make more sense.

I kept feeling like I'd walked into the middle of a conversation with too few context clues to get the entire story, but I know a BIG THING happened off stage before the beginning of the book. UGH!

A vampire and dragon parentage is wicked clever! An angel and a demon parentage, I was meh about. Still, these two were able to draw me in and make me care.

So again, the two MCs were what I chose to focus on, but the story around them needed some work.

[Deborah · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Where in the world did a quiet librarian learn a spell like that?”
“Books. Never underestimate a librarian, particularly the quiet ones.”

I love her fire, and that she uses crayons as weapons, her love of sushi, and her total awkwardness with all of humanity. With her history, it feels accurate that she wouldn't really know how to just be. Her connection to the library is something I felt in my bones.

“If you touch a hair of my heart, I will see you and your family hunted to extinction.”

The Scholar is a canny hunter, with his clear interest, his oranges, and his ancient Persian poems. His charm runs deep, and the fact that he supports her bombastic tendencies endears him to me. I love that he adores all of her quirks, and takes things mostly at her pace.

“I think that you’re flirting with me.”
“I’m also propositioning you, but subtly, so that you don’t notice.”

Thoroughly enjoying this world and it's magics, infernal and angelic. SingSong and it's attunement to music magic is different than anything I've read before.

[JaneAustin'sPetticoat · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 rounding up

Overall a really fun and interesting read! It took me a minute to get committed, but then I was all in! Honestly, I wish this book had been longer because there were scenes I wish had been included but were just mentioned in a paragraph. The ending was epic but felt a bit rushed, which kind of took some of the awesomeness out of it. And I want to know more about the characters (like the FMC's background that we are teased with but never fully given) and the City and the library. I know there are more books, but they are centered on other characters which isn't really what I want.

It felt like the whole ending from the Scholar's "offer" to the final fight and the final "resolution" were too quick. This book could have been 100 pages longer (or have a whole series just on a story with the same FMC and MMC), and then I would have loved it epically. It was still a really wonderful read, though, and I recommend it!

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Take my rating with the disclaimer: I was overtired and trying to stay awake at an airport when I read it. I question my judgement.
The story follows a retired assassin, now contently working as a librarian wrangling magical books. She has one friend (who sometimes remembers her), an obsession with sushi, and a serious hatred for all things undead. Unfortunately, her past is about to catch up with her and then bye-bye to her relaxed life...
The book is creative and a little all over the place. The worldbuilding reminded me of Terry Pratchett. I thought the heroine's random trains of thought were funny and there were several one-liners that still have me smirking.
The romance grew on me throughout the story and I appreciate that it kept things clean.
Overall, very fun. I can't wait for the next one in the series.

[Kate]

I checked this book out from Kindle Unlimited literally a year ago to the day before I read it. I was trying to clear out the backlog of books and this one still seemed interesting to me- and it was! The world and magic were super unique, with a music system of creating spells and maintaining the city, and an upper and lower city. Plus I will literally read any book with a librarian.

I did love the banter between Michael and Libby, and I enjoyed the extended cast of characters, especially Cross. However, some parts just felt off, in a way I can’t explain, and it was slightly distracting that the dog kept changing genders (I do not believe it was a plot point or on purpose.)

Overall a fun somewhat lighthearted read, and I may read further selected entries in the series based on which characters I liked best.

[Annie · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF 50%
Loved the idea of this book. The magic and world could have been fantastic. The plot was so off. For 50% of this book, and who knows how much longer bc I stopped, I felt like I was reading book 2. There were so many holes in the story, it wasn’t fleshed out or explained well. It read like we’d been previously told about the world and we should just know what’s going on. The “chemistry” between the 2 main characters was non existent. It was awkward. The conversation was stilted. With so many books in the series I thought well maybe I should push through I mean there’s 10 books so people must be enjoying it. This author released the first 3 books in 3 months and the whole 10 books in under 2 years. I get wanting books quickly, not wanting to wait for the next one but that is fast and I think it shows in the writing.

[MELISSA · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a zany, funny, weird and charming story full of paranormal and/or fantasy characters, a library that responds so well to good magic, and a slow developing love story (clean, thank you). The MFC and MMC are sheer delight with their banter and carefulness and awkwardness. I sometimes struggled with understanding this so creative world but no problem because I am going to read book two of the series. I am strongly hopeful I will understand it soon enough. BTW, this story had interactive audio which I so appreciate as I can listen while doing chores. I am tough on narrators as a poor narration can ruin a book. I did download the audio and it was Virtual Voice. Simply so terrible I will say no more other than I only listened for twenty minutes.

[Niah Bach · Rating 5 out of 5]

Who doesn't love sushi? The FC in this story has a love of the stuff and between her obsession with sushi, her magical library and a fire belching bulldog this story has a great foundation! A city held together with song, multiple factions moving with purpose, some nefarious plots conspiring to rip Libby out of her comfort zone... yep this book is a page turner! And who could forget about the Vampire?! I will say no more, just read the book if you love snark, a good mystery and plot and a slow burn romance.

I have enjoyed this entire series and fortunately each book is a one shot, so HEA is a guarantee!

[Rosa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it

At first I was disappointed with Libby, she was doing all the important work at the library and yet she was undermined. But then it was easy to see all.she care about was to work there. Her life was translating the ancient dead language and preserving the magical books. I definitely enjoy the scholar character and how fierce he was with Libby's protection. Looking forward to the next book in the singsong City series. Hopefully it will be as good as Vampires Don't Suck. I didn't care for the title but I figured, I I didn't like the first few pages, the I would return it. 😃