Every once in a while a book comes along that touches you on a deeper level and that you carry with you long after you have read the last words, it is no secret how much I adored Flat-Out Love by Jessica Park. It was that book for me. It had it all, heartbreak, deceit, love, loyalty, devotion, jealousy, despair… every emotion. I like for a book to take me on a journey and FOL did that… so needless to say I was very excited when Jessica announced she was writing a novella from Matt’s POV… I knew how the story unfolded for Julie and I wanted to see how it unfolded for Matt.
****SPOILER ALERT**** IF YOU HAVE NOT READ FLAT-OUT LOVE DO NOT READ**********
The book starts out with a bonus chapter where we get to meet Finn, Matt and Celeste’s older brother. I loved this because I realized something that I missed in FOL, just how much Matt loved and adored Finn. I assumed he loved his brother but I didn’t really focus on Matt’s pain and loss because I was so consumed by Celeste’s pain and reaction. Matt was hurt, he lost the person who he looked up too, who he counted on to manage his mom and Celeste, the person who made it possible for him to have a life outside his family and his friend. Matt didn’t get to grieve. He had to step in and take care of everything while his parents shut down and Celeste checked out. He knew it was wrong to let Celeste have Flat Finn, but he was at a loss for how to help her, he would do anything to bring her out of the depression she had slipped into and he was desperate. He wasn’t Finn, he didn’t have the connection with Celeste that Finn did and he had no idea how to reach her, so he gave in, and so began the odd, alternate reality for his family…
Julie was a complication Matt didn’t need. He had a delicate balance at home managing his mom and Celeste and the last thing he needed was a stranger to come in and call them out on their crazy. He was panicked and ashamed. He didn’t want to lie to her, he wanted to tell her the truth from the beginning… I didn’t realize that before. I knew his mother asked him play along, but I didn’t realize the extent to which she really manipulated him. Poor Matt, he wanted time and again to come clean with Julie especially when he started to fall in love with her and knew how badly all the lies were going to hurt her but after it had gone on so long how could he tell her? He didn’t want to lose her and he didn’t want Celeste to lose her. She had done more to help Celeste in a few months than he had been able to do in over a year. He loved her and he/they needed her. It just broke my heart.
Matt became angry at himself for the lies, angry and a little jealous at Julie for falling for Finn even though it was not her fault, and scared to death as he started to see Celeste come out of herself. He knew his mother loved Finn more, he knew his sister loved Finn more and now Julie loved Finn more. It was all a little too much for him and he let it out in one of the most telling and heartbreaking scenes:
“Matt took her hand in both of his for a moment as he struggled to find the right words to tell her that he loved her, and that he would do anything to trade places with Finn so that she could have the brother she really loved back with her.”
OMG I was a puddle… A puddle… my poor Matty!
In FOL I kind of thought that Matt’s emails to Julie as Finn were him playing a part… being who he thought Finn was… acting… but he wasn’t. He was himself and he was letting Julie get to know him, the real him. Behind his geeky persona, his massive responsibility, his edgy demeanor… he was a witty, adventurous and passionate man. The two parts of him were reconciled for me in this book. Then there is Celeste, oh our quirky, smart, matter-of-fact and surprisingly observant Celeste. I LOVED her in this book. She made me cry but oh how she made me laugh! She is just an all around amazing and fascinating character.
The bonus chapters at the end from Julies POV rocked. I love how we got to see a little of the sexy. Matt oh Matt you are quite a hottie! So in case you missed it I highly recommend this book… you freaking have to read this book… JUST READ IT!