Sunrise Over Half-Built Houses: Love, Longing and Addiction in Suburbia

by Erin Steele

Enter into the life and mind of a shy teenager coming of age in the early 2000s in a pretty, suburban neighbourhood where nothing is quite as it seems—including her. At a glance, she’s a student with a boyfriend and a job at the coffee shop. Yet she’s skipping class, grappling with intense feelings for girls and growing dangerously dependent on illicit pills with cute names.

Wanting nothing more than to be who she is on the inside, her spiral into addiction and parallel quest for meaning takes readers into big houses with spare room for secrets; past quiet cul-de-sacs where kids party in wooded outskirts zoned for development; where West Coast rains can pummel for days.

Written with searing honesty that stares at you until you turn away, then stares at you some more, Sunrise over Half-Built Houses digs down past pleasantries and manicured lawns, through the sucking hole of addiction, then further still to reveal a place where we can all see ourselves and each other more clearly.

240 pages, Paperback

Published October 4, 2024

Reviews

[Jessica Sealey · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was by far one of the most beautiful, raw books I’ve ever read. I couldn’t put it down and when I wasn’t actively reading it, I was thinking about it. This book deserves a spot on every readers shelves. I’m so glad I got to read this story.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author does not make herself likable in this. The harsh way she talks about herself and the horrible way she treats her body were, at times, hard to read. But the prose was beautiful, and the pages turned fast.

[Shelley Wood · Rating 5 out of 5]

So few books manage to be beautiful, while telling dark stories: this one does. Sunrise Over Half-Built Houses will drag you, willingly, into some of the darkest places imaginable, but keeping you hopeful about the light--that light still exists. Part of this is the musicality of the writing itself: art and lyricism in the midst of horror and grief. The prose itself offers a faint glimmer of hope in the book's worst shadows, making it impossible to look away, even is as the narrator wobbles deeper and deeper into addiction. I think the world needs this book; readers and policymakers need to be reminded that the people struggling to find solace or acceptance, who have slid into addiction in the hopes of finding those, are just that: people. They deserve our compassion, our willingness to listen, and our belief that they are more than their worst mistakes.

[Marley Chambers · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book with barely a pause, swept up in the momentum and the immersive feeling. I read with a pencil because there were so many sentences and ideas I wanted to interact with - to note how much a statement resonated with my experience as a human, even if the details of my life differ.

I witnessed close up and from afar my brother’s life being dominated by drug and alcohol addiction. This book allowed me to enter a perspective that helped me process his life, which was an unexpected gift.

I’ve thought of the book often after finishing it, noting again and again that it rings true - we are all in a constant search for fulfillment.

[Sofie · Rating 4 out of 5]

The quote on the front cover of the book states: “Like a big piece of music,” and I agree 100% with that description 💛

In her memoir, Erin Steele depicts her experience with addiction, which began in her early adulthood. As a teenager, Steele began to question her sexuality, but growing up in a time and household where queerness wasn’t talked about, she wasn’t initially given the opportunity to be open with herself and others. As her quest for self-identity and meaning intensified, so did her dependence on drugs. Her memoir takes us into the hidden parts of addiction, the houses and rooms where secrets would abound and pills were passed around, and the longing for an escape from tumultuous emotions was ever present.

I thought this book was beautifully written and engaging. Steele’s words flow like music, and I also loved the fermatas separating the sections!!!* There were numerous song references that I loved seeing, indicating how important and healing music was in the author’s life.

As someone who comes from a family with a history of addiction, a lot of what Steele depicted in her book really stood out to me, especially the parts of addiction that most don’t know about, or don’t care to know about. There is so much stigma surrounding addiction that it makes it harder for those struggling to receive not only the care they need, but the empathy and compassion that anyone deserves. I appreciated how open Steele was about her experience, from discussing what led her to starting drugs, to her recovery and reflection. Reading her memoir also made it painfully obvious how vulnerable children are when they aren’t in a space that allows them to be their true self, or to be open about their emotions.

This memoir made me think a lot about so many things, from how damaging homophobia is, how lack of care and community can leave people vulnerable, how hiding your emotions can have devastating impacts on one’s livelihood, but especially how much addiction is a disease and must be treated as such for there to be any change going forward.

I really loved this memoir for how open, honest, and raw it was. Thank you to Caitlin Press and Dagger Editions for the gifted copy 💛

[Jonathan F · Rating 5 out of 5]

Steele does the impossible by taking a story that's been told in tens of thousands of suburban households - the slide into addiction and the struggle for redemption, with love and longing intertwined throughout - and making it not just intimate, but beautiful to behold.

Part of that is the lyrical prose, which is in turns brutally honest and joyfully romantic. Part of that is the inescapable truth woven throughout it, always there but never heavy-handed... that we're all broken creatures who try to patch over the cracks with consumption of various kinds. And part of it is the way that it's so grounded in its time, a snapshot of West Coast suburbia in the early 2000s.

The author's struggles with self-doubt, addiction, and homophobia may be her own, but the pain of not being "enough," and the battle to cope, are universal. And they feel that way in this incredible work. As hard as the author is on herself, as many inadvisable decisions as she may make, her deftness at making her pain relatable turns her into a character that you're always cheering for.

If you want a book to take you on a true emotional journey from hope to despair and back again, this is one you shouldn't pass up.

[Eli Morgan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brutally honest and brutally beautiful. This story is heartbreaking , compelling and ultimately uplifting. A beautifully written memoir that is a voice for bullied, marginalized and vulnerable young people, and an eye opener for parents. This is one of those combinations of gorgeous reading and harrowing subject matter that comes along only rarely.

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was truly captivating and a powerful read. This memoir was written with such honesty and vulnerability. I felt that the writer left nothing out, she shared it all. It is a book about the challenges of addiction but so much more, it is about life and hope. I still think about it.

[HV Whitehead · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sunrise Over Half-Built Houses is so much more than an addiction memoir. Though it certainly holds its own in that category, right alongside Dry, Million Little Pieces and Beautiful Boy. Perhaps it’s more of a relationship memoir - Erin’s relationship to drugs, to others, to sexuality, to music, and to herself.
The book takes us from despair to hope and back again with moments of delicate poetic beauty juxtaposed with raw punches to the gut. There is a philosophical thread running through the book that always feels genuine and curious rather than contrived and its familiar (for this Gen X reader) soundtrack helps to keeps us faithfully anchored in the writer’s present.
While the story certainly offers up some kind of redemption, neither the characters nor the reader escape the process unscathed. It is a book that lingers long after the final page has been turned.
Sunrise Over Half-Built Houses is a remarkable read. It is a breathtaking and sometimes jarring journey into a world that we like to imagine is far away from our own, when in-fact, we are simply on the other side of the door. Highly recommended. My favourite book of the year.

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is like having an incredibly charming person tell you insightful stories of their own self discovery and struggle with a writing style that rewards you with every word. It’s honest, self aware, and it’s engrossing enough I got into the headspace she offers. Am I too a coming of age girl struggling with growing feelings for girls?
So good!

Also, Erin is a charming and thoroughly enjoyable person who I’ve enjoyed chatting with online very much over the years and I’m almost unreasonably proud of her for doing this.

Anyway, please check out her book and buy a copy! Few people have the honesty and alacrity for their own story are willing to share it and fewer yet make this journey to the end zone and publish, so please support an author who did!

[Simone Blais · Rating 5 out of 5]

I gobbled this book up. What a read! Grateful to the author for sharing her journey with the world, illustrating how anyone can get swept up in addiction based on seemingly innocuous choices. All these minor decisions can take us down roads we never imagined, to paths so far off what we had ever envisioned, that it seems impossible to make your way back. The author made it to the other side though, and documented her journey with an unflinching eye and intense attention to detail. It was so well-crafted, such beautiful sweeping arcs, intentional pacing, and gems of language sprinkled throughout. Just breathtaking.

[Sam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Erin’s courage in baring her soul to share this all-too-common yet deeply personal story is truly inspiring. She has a remarkable gift for capturing the inner turmoil of a struggling teenager—navigating loneliness, the desire to fit in, experimentation with mind-altering substances, and questions of identity. Her ability to bring these experiences to life is both raw and relatable. Thankfully, she preserved her old journals, allowing for an authentic and unfiltered glimpse into the mind of a troubled youth. This is an essential read for teens, parents, teachers, counsellors, and anyone who has faced similar struggles.

[Jules · Rating 5 out of 5]

Steele's memoir captivated me from the very start. Her beautiful and descriptive writing transported me back to my youth, where I could see, smell and hear everything she described. The overarching themes of addiction and need for human connection are so relatable and caused me to pause and reflect on my own life. I didn't want this book to end because it made me feel seen and not alone, even though we followed very different roads. I think this is truly the mark of an extraordinary writer and I can't recommend this book enough.

[Pennie Mathieson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just can’t say enough about this book.
It is a powerful and moving memoir that should leave every reader with more empathy.
It is so well written and will deeply touch every reader that picks it up. Erin Steele is so vulnerable sharing with the reader her struggles with addiction, love & sexuality growing up in a suburban neighbourhood.
Sunrise over half-built houses is written by a brilliant writer and I can see it making OPRAH’S BOOK CLUB pick.

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir is gut-wrenchingly brilliant and heartbreakingly beautiful. It is a wondrous work of art. I plan to read it again to let the beautifully crafted words sink in. There is one line that really resonated with me, as the author describes why we shouldn’t resist big emotions. “We are but vessels they’ll board regardless.” There are so many thoughts and themes that ring true. This book is a must read.

[Rayen McLeod · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the kind of book that pulls you in quietly, then hits you in ways you don’t expect. The writing is sharp and unflinching, with a rhythm that feels both effortless and deliberate. There’s a weight to it, but also moments of light that catch you off guard.

It’s not just a story; it’s an experience. The kind that makes you pause, makes you feel, and maybe even makes you see things a little differently. Honest, immersive, and deeply affecting.

[Joy Page · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perceptive, captivating, wise and blindingly vulnerable, Erin takes us with her into the deep dark hole of addiction and amazingly out the other side. For anyone wanting to explore and understand teen age angst and the dreadful pull of addiction, this is a must read.

[Richard S · Rating 5 out of 5]

The anguish with which I read this book can not compare with you living this. This is a great and revealing accomplishment, well written and heartfelt.

[Wendy Sheen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Music, love addiction and passion all rolled in.

[Rebecca Labrador · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Here’s how it goes: you’re on a train…. You see gardens of wildflowers reaching their heads toward the sun. You see bodies slumped in alleys. You see newborn babies squinting at the lights about them, you see a crow on the ground with a broken neck, you see the sun rise over half-built houses, you see life disappear from eyes, you see drowning in dark water. You focus on the wildflowers, the sunrise, the babies. You focus on them hard until you lose them in the blur of the darkening landscape. And that’s how it goes. But you stay on the train. You stay on the train because you’re used to being on the train.”

As a shy, introverted young adult, Erin Steele wants desperately to focus on those wildflowers, babies, and sunrises, but her journey is interrupted time and again by alcohol, drugs, job losses, and unhealthy relationships. She fights hard to be seen, heard, and loved by those around her and this gritty memoir does not hold back in showing her struggle and setbacks. Underlining Steele’s compelling story is her passion for music; she shares the songs, bands, and lyrics that gave her young life meaning.

The quote that broke and rebuilt my heart: “I remember. I remember who I was before my wanting became needing…. I remember my thoughts were once grand, supposing of human nature, curious about big concepts like time and space and love. I remember being sentimental and wistful. I remember playing guitar like a slow dance with my soul. …I remember.”

Thank you to Caitlin Press and Dagger Editions for the copy to review.