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253 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2000
She observes herself too much, and she suffers for it. She's desperate for approval and will forever remain famished.We look back, elliptically, at two crucial stages of her becoming: the painful early years of grappling with friends, teachers and nascent romances; with overbearing forces like God, Marx, and her own father; with the fact of her parents having their own distinct lives
I've just experienced the first metaphor of my life.While elsewhere the life of a teenage girl is interesting to none other than teenage girls, Backlight offers a portrait almost breathtakingly true to life: here, inner experience is the plot, propelling the narrator's growth even when there isn't a lot happening. Readers will delight in the rhythm, the texture and the humour of Saisio's prose, for this is equally a portrait of a girl on her path to becoming a writer:
I'm the one who sees, even if I don't want to; I'm the one who hears, even if I press my hands to my ears. I'm the one who causes death and is horrified by it.
I want to learn how to place commas and periods like obstacles in a hurdle race and watch horses leap grace-fally over some and shy away from the impossible ones. I want to know how to carve slices of reality on paper and crush and chop sentences, violently ripping them apart and just as violently putting them back together again.Mia Spangenberg's translation is sensitive and immersive, gently leading the reader into what the publisher's blurb accurately calls 'an intimate portrait of a life lived in language'. It will be a while now until the final volume appears in English, but those who have made it this far will be without doubt that it will be worth waiting for.
There is no reality as such. I vaguely realized this when I was only eight years old and wrote my first sentence about reality.
Reality is the sentences I write.