A beginner’s exploration of love, relationships, and families – the latest in the FIRST CONVERSATIONS board book series, which offers adults the opportunity to begin important conversations with young children in an informed, safe, and supported way.
Developed by experts in the fields of early childhood and activism against injustice, this topic-driven board book offers clear, concrete language and beautiful imagery that young children can grasp and adults can leverage for further discussion.
While young children are avid observers and questioners of their world, adults often shut down or postpone conversations on complicated topics because it's hard to know where to begin. Research shows that talking about issues like love, relationships, and families from the age of two not only helps children understand what they see, but also increases self-awareness, self-esteem, and allows them to recognize and confront things that are unfair, like discrimination and prejudice.
This fourth book in the series begins the conversation on love with a supportive approach that considers both the child and the adult. Stunning art accompanies the simple and interactive text, and the backmatter offers additional resources and ideas for extending this discussion.
Megan Pamela Ruth Madison (she, her) is an early childhood educator, scholar, and activist based in New York City. She began her career working as an assistant in a Waldorf elementary school. After completing her undergraduate degree at the University of Michigan, Megan then went on to become a teacher in a Head Start preschool classroom. Now, as a doctoral candidate at Brandeis University, she works part-time facilitating workshops for teachers and families on race, gender and sexuality. Megan is currently working on a board book series with co-author Jessica Ralli for Rise x Penguin Workshop on race, gender, consent and body positivity. Megan recently completed a term on the governing board of the National Association for the Education of Young Children (or NAEYC) after several years serving as a co-facilitator of the association's Diversity & Equity Interest Forum. In that role, she worked to organize early childhood professionals around the country who are passionate about social justice. She is proud to hold a master’s degree in early childhood education from Dominican University. Megan lives in Harlem (unceded land of the Lenape people), where she loves reading, eating ice cream, and building community with Jews for Racial and Economic Justice (or JFREJ).
This was selected by my work as part of our summer read series to support our 2SLGTBQIA+ initiatives and learnings. I thought it was very well done and would definitely encourage conversation about what a family unit is. Our book discussion is this week so it will be good to hear what my colleagues thought.
Another great book in this First Conversations to explain love to children. While it talks about the love that adults experience, it also focuses on how children experience love by loving things or family and how they show it with hugs and other ways. I'm glad it also talks about that not everyone experiences love from the people that they should, and that even if an adult says it's love, it's not. It gets a bit more advanced and complicated compared to the other books in the series because love is complicated, especially heteronormativity's impact on our society. This series is a must read to raise kind and loving children.
+/- 0 stars: lettering and font work not integrated as well into the book as it could be
-1 star: wall of text for grown ups bookends both parts of the book
-1 star: the end of book complains thar hetero adult straight relationships are unfairly privileged above all other family structures. Yeah. You need a male and female to have sex to make a baby. That's why most families have a man and a woman parent. The book also insinuates that homosexual parents were common through out history and only frowned upon because of white supremacy, which is ridiculous. The most common structure involved extended families living on the same property but they were still primarily straight. The only way for homosexual parents to have kids: 1. be in denial about their biological sex and larping being gay even though the two partners are opposite sexes and actually just spicy straights 2. Adopt , which is rare and expensive now 3. Bring the kid from a previous straight sexual encounter into their new queer family, which involves shattering the previous family and so is also costly 4. Become human live stock and use artificial insemination or surrogacy 5. Pretend their pet cat/dog/ferret is a child (this is the most common tactic I've seen nonbinary folx use.) 6. Idk time travel
+4 stars: the black lesbian making frowny faces at the fathers day bbq banner and karening her way into them changing everything (like her kid doesn't have a dad out there somewhere and really is the result of some sort of 2 egg fushion-ha) into a parents day BBQ would make an amazing episode of a sitcom and I can't stop thinking about it.
-1 star: They spent so much page space lecturing grown ups the dedications to their kids got shoved to the back cover. I thought they were endorsements at first and was confused. The dedications are supposed to be the first thing you read because your children are supposed to be the most.important thing your life. Priorities people.
I love this series. Written by experts, mainly for the parents, this one answers questions "what is a family?", "Why do some grown-ups kiss each other on the lips?", "When I grow up do I have to get married?" The answer is: "There are many different ways that people love one another, but that's not always what we see represented in books or media." The authors feel kids are "bombarded with images that define a family as a straight married couple with a few kids, a minivan and a white picket fence." There are many types of relationships that we can nurture and this book lays that foundation.
This book is queer-affirming and starts a conversation about what healthy love looks and feels like, and all the ways we can love, have relationships and make families. It leaves room for parents and caregivers to leave things out, add in their own stories or just take a break.
The text for children is very simple. It makes a statement like "Everyone in the world deserves love." and asks questions "Who loves you? Who do you love?" The illustrations show a diverse array of people. There are incarcerated adults, a man (dad?) in a mermaid tail and tiara saying "I love you" to a little girl also in a mermaid tail and tiara. There is a person with a beard in a wedding gown and a smaller person with purple hair in a wedding suit holding the bride's hand with a flower boy tossing flowers; a person in a wheelchair
It explains different types of love. You can love a thing like your toys, pizza, or rainbows! You can love living things like a pet or nature, or people like your family and friends. "Who do you love?"
Another page explains romantic love/being in love. There are lots of ways grown-ups can choose to show this kind of love to one another like going on a date or kissing on the lips.
Anybody can love anybody. And there are lots of different words you might use to talk about who you are and who you love romantically when you get older.
An illustration shows a person with a speech bubble stating "I can love people of any gender. I'm queer." and another person states "I'm a man who loves women. I'm straight."
Then the book gets wordier and more preachy "It can be hard when we have different ideas or want different things than someone we love. We can disagree with someone we love without or even feel mad at them sometimes." [Illustration of twin children fighting over a toy.]
The book states "Everybody deserves a loving family: a group of people who show you that they love you, exactly as you are, even when its hard." It talks about how not every family is loving. "That isn't fair and can make people feel very sad and alone. If someone hurts you, and anyone says it's because that person loves you, they're wrong. It can help to find a person or place where you feel safe. Sometimes the only safe place may be your imagination. It can also help to remember that when you get older, you'll be able to make more choices of your own."
Then there's a section on rejecting the idea of what a family is SUPPOSED to look like. It isn't true that only one kind of family is best. There are many different types of families and this book shows kids that that is OK. There are many ways to be a family. They can all be loving.
The authors boldly state "People have always made families in lots of different ways, but not everyone understood that those families were real. For a long time, people in power have made unfair rules about who can love each other and who can be a family. What can we do to make things more fair for all families?" The illustrations about fair vs. unfair show a sign "Father's Day BBQ" (unfair) and "Family Day BBQ" (Fair). The authors state "We want a world where everyone can make a family with anybody they love. We're building that world together."
The back of the book has a section for adults to continue the conversation based on the topics presented in the story. They bring up talking points to help support children as they grow. There is a section on queer love and when love is hard and one on nurturing healthy relationships; heteronormativity & resistance; building a loving world.
What is love? What is a family? Why do some grown-ups kiss each other on the lips? Do I have to get married when I grow up? Young children have important questions and observations about love, relationships, and family, but these are conversations that many grown-ups postpone. There are many different ways that people love one another, but that's not always what we see represented in books or media. Instead, our kids are bombarded with images that define a family as a straight, married couple with a few kids, a minivan, and a white picket fence. Yet there are so many kinds of loving relationships we can nurture, and now is the time to start laying the foundation! This queer-affirming book starts the conversation about what healthy love looks and feels like, and all the ways we love, have relationships, and make families. It's okay to take a break, leave something out for now, or weave in stories of your own. -Megan and Jessica
I think this series is so great. This one has been the most difficult to unpack and the one that fluctuates target age-range the most. I would recommend ages 4-7 especially for discussions of romantic love, love that hurts, and societal norms. The board book crowd may not be ready to absorb this content in the way it is presented here. (I think Yes! No! A First Conversation about Consent, for example, does a good job of creating toddler-accessible content about a big and difficult topic.) All that said, I think the representation of a diverse array of families is excellent.
An effective addition to the series, discussing what love is, what it isn't, different ways to show love, how one can love people, things, other beings; how the way one feels love might change over time, etc. Text at the back extends these themes for adults and makes mention, at least, of ethical non-monogamy and asexuality/aromanticism, though it would have been cool to have these concepts more centrally included in the main text.
Themes: Love, Family, Relationships Age range: Preschool-Early Elementary
I spotted this one in a romance bookshop --which makes sense, but is also a little surprising. A clear, honest, and perhaps slightly didactic introduction to love, loving, and what romantic feelings are --for the youngest among us. I spied some bell hooks theory in these pages. The illustrations are adorbs. There is a type of glossary of ideas at the end, concepts for adults to consider, as they talk to their youngins about love.
This book is absolutely phenomenal!! I love how it shows there are many different types of love and family situations. The book does a beautiful job at creating a space for children to explore topics and express their personal experiences. i definitely see this as one of those books you can always learn from and I’m excited to read this with kids!
Great intro to different forms of relationships to our daughter. The only thing I thought was a bit inconsistent was the age focus. Some of the pages made it really easy to explain relationship for our 4yo. Some of the concepts went way over her head. I think the book tried to be a bit too much in that sense.
I thought this did a decent job of discussing a topic that I think most of us take as a given that kids understand, which is probably a big oversight. I love the representation in these books, and I don't think it is trying to do too much.
What a wonderful book to share with children to help them understand love! Clear easy to understand text and colorful illustrations. Excellent backmatter to help parents discuss this further with their children.
LOVE LOVE LOVE! This is why libraries are important - I would likely not know about this book (or its authors) if I hadn't found this in a display at my local library. Teaching acceptance starts early, and it is an extremely important lesson we parents need to teach.
If I could give this 10 stars I would. This book is not only important for kids but also adults who need to understand that love is love. Ordering several copies, thank you for this beautiful book
This book does a good job at explaining what love is to younger kids. And it focuses on a wide range of types of relationships, which is important. Definitely recommend!
I would like to share the full series with every parent and would-be parent I know. Truly, this is a series for anyone who interacts with children or who is interested in reparenting themselves.
This is a great book to be read to all kids. Given todays times, this is a great book to build a foundation and introduce the topic of different types of relationships to children.
Great book about love in all its forms, including an explanation of what love IS and what love ISN'T. For example, "But not every family is loving. That isn't fair". Also, lots of LGBTQ+ positive & accepting messaging, with blurbs about sexuality in the back for adults ie, explaining that you DO NOT need to talk about sex when talking about LGBTQ with your young kids, as it is not age appropriate. You can just say, "He is in love with a man", or something like that. Perfect book, sensitively written with great discussion prompts.
Together: A first conversation about love, is a heart-warming book that explores love, relationships and families. This book is an opportunity to begin important conversations with young children in an informed, safe, and supportive way. The language is written clearly, with simple and interactive text and accompanied by beautiful imagery. This book helps increase self-awareness, self-esteem, and allows the reader to recognise and confront things that are unfair, like discrimination and prejudice. Definitely will be a re-read for me in the future! I rated this 4 stars! ⭐️
This was a nice addition to the series. I buy these books so that I am ready if I have children who come from a different style of home. I did like how the book explained that love can be used for things and people. (I can love dogs, lollipops, and my siblings.)