Healing What’s Within: Coming Home to Yourself—and to God—When You're Wounded, Weary, and Wandering

by Chuck DeGroat

We can’t always control what happens to us. But we can discover how to heal the hidden hurt it leaves behind.

If you’re like many of us, you carry a weight of buried pain. Despite looking put together on the outside, you feel secretly fractured within. While you appear strong and resilient on the outside, inside a storm brews of all the ways you’ve been hurt or harmed. There’s a constant churn of unprocessed feelings of shame, anger, grief, or loneliness. And your body tells the story of its struggles in a myriad of aches and ailments. Little by little, you find yourself becoming disconnected from who you truly are. Not knowing what to do with your suffering and fearing you'll be hurt again, you’ve learned to cope, to numb and suppress the ache within.

It doesn’t have to be this way. In Healing What’s Within, therapist and professor Chuck DeGroat invites you on a compassionate journey inward to return and retune to the life God created you to live. Along the way, you will discover how consider and confront what’s keeping you stuck and blocking the path to joy and flourishingBetter understand the relationship between your body and your emotionsExperience God as a compassionate witness to your trauma—and his unconditional kindness to wherever you find yourselfDiscover real rest and renewal as you reconnect with God, others, and yourself.It’s never too late to start healing. God’s heart is always ready to help you find your way Home.

Genres: Nonfiction

236 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 8, 2024

About the author

Chuck DeGroat is director of the counseling center at City Church in San Francisco, as well as academic dean of the Newbigin House of Studies. He also served as professor and director of spiritual formation at Reformed Theological Seminary in Orlando.

Reviews

[Scott Wise · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Our tendency to self-protect is natural, it makes sense, but it is also often misdirected."
We have to be open and honest within to allow God to work in our deepest hurts.

[Nicole DeVries · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a trained & licensed therapist as well as a Christian, this is a fantastic book that explores the intersection of faith and trauma. This was relevant and practical but also thought-provoking.

[Barry Davis · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was introduced to the work of this author in his book When Narcissism Comes to Church, a book that was integral in forming the topic of my PhD dissertation on narcissistic pastors. When I learned of this new work, I was intrigued regarding its relationship to the recovery of individuals who have been victimized by such leadership in the church.

The book goes deeply into the topic of healing and, to some degree, follows DeGroat’s two decade journey in this very process after being fired from a pastoral position in a church he had served for six years, “the church where my daughters were baptized, where deep friendships were formed, where I founded a counseling center, and where I walked people through the dark nights of their lives” (p. 1). The author includes examples from his years of counseling and ministry, drawing on his extensive reading on the subjects of trauma, suffering, and recovery. I will confess that, even as I appreciate his rich use of resources, I found many of his quotes from those who may be considered as contemplatives and divines to be less persuasive than his references to Scripture. In addition, the practices recommended at the end of each chapter (chapters which also include additional resources and questions for reflection) tend to move towards what I would describe as esoteric approaches to spiritual formation. These practices include intentional breathing to focus prayer, trauma-informed yoga, and saying “hello” or “peace be with you” to whatever you feel is “arising within” (p. 126).

Even with my concerns, I found much worthwhile in this book, notably its structure using the words of God in Genesis 3 to address the topic of personal healing. DeGroat writes of his disappointment in turning the story of the Fall into a flannelgraph presentation for kids when the insights on God and man are richly present in the biblical account.

Part One is based on God’s question “Where are you?” (Gen. 3:9), where He lovingly seeks out His errant children. The author describes this portion of his work as “coming to ourselves, befriending our pain, and attending to its imprint within.” The serpent shattered shalom in this chapter, and for 1,185 subsequent chapters, until Rev. 21 and 22, the reader encounters the story of life, the “everyday ache you and I know east of Eden” (p. 20). The connection experience after creation is lost in Genesis 3, only to be regained in the last two chapters of the Bible. This section focuses on trauma and the loneliness of suffering alone. Somatic issues are also discussed, including a powerful graphic that presents Home as the “found window of tolerance” the Sympathetic Storm/Hyperarousal as causing either fight, flight, fawn, or find”, and Dorsal Fog/Hypoarousal as demonstrated either as “freeze or fold” (p. 64).

Part Two proceeds to God’s question, “Who told you..?” (Gen. 3:11), described as “listening within, saying hello, and letting to of what we can’t know.” Powerful biblical insights are present here, including identifying the voices we hear and “redemptive remembering” (p. 84). DeGroat focuses specifically on the topic of attachment in this section, identifying and describing four types – Secure Attachment, Preoccupied (anxious) Attachment, Dismissive (avoidant) Attachment, and Fearful (disorganized) Attachment. He writes of our “primal wound” as a result of the Fall, noting that the “ancient story of our suffering, sin, even sabotage…echoes our doubt and shame, our anxiety and self-protection” (p. 141).

Part Three moves on to God’s inquiry “Have you eaten from the tree…?” (Gen. 3:11). The author subtitles this section as “seeking the source of our hunger, navigating the mystery, and learning to long for so much more.” In this powerful portion of the book, addiction is presented as a signpost to deeper concerns, including what he describes as “addiction in church clothes,” addictions that may be described as acceptable practices (p. 178). The final chapter, Holy Hunger, emphasizes the power of a deeper desire and the exceptional power of vulnerability. After all, in His incarnation Christ demonstrated a posture of vulnerability (Phil. 2:8) that we can never appreciate or model completely. Growth in this area is slow work, both for counselors and counselees, and the combination of “compassion and curiosity” is a powerful resource in helping others. With this holy hunger, “In reconnecting with your image-bearing work, belonging, and purpose, you now get to exercise a holy longing for others. You now get to love as ambassadors of God’s shalom” (p. 212).

DeGroat closes with the blessing Moses received to share with his priests” The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face to shine on you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace (Num. 6:24-26). His final words to his reader are: “Remember this: God’s heart is always ready to help you find your way Home” (p. 214).

[Shelly J. Hogan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing!

I do not even have the words to express how wonderful this book is! Chuck DeGroat gives us life giving water and a roadmap home for our souls in this writing. Everyone needs to read it, practice it, and share it with others. The questions asked are profound keys to unlock our souls and draw us to ourselves, the Lord and each other. Stay curious!

[Carrie Cox · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this very helpful. I especially appreciated the perspective and explanation of the questions God asked Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden as the same ones He asks us when we feel disconnected from Him (Where are you? Who told you…? What have you done?) in a tone not of accusation but of invitation to honesty and healing.

[Steve · Rating 5 out of 5]

amazing!

Really insightful! I felt like he was writing to me!
I read it twice. The second time, very carefully. It was even better than first read.

[Christina Caldwell · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very practical, gentle and biblical approach to processing and healing from trauma and past hurts. The author shares helpful exercises that can easily be practiced by anyone for the most part.

[Jonathan Trousdale · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful journey of a book

This book requires the reader to reconsider themselves and take a real personal journey as they read. But it is well worth it.