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I and My True Love

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American diplomat Payton Pleydell and his wife Sylvia are the most respected, brilliant couple in Washington. Theirs seems a perfect marriage but Kate Jerold begins to suspect that her cousin’s husband is not as devoted as he seems. Then the unexpected arrival of a Czech official threatens to bring the façade crashing down. Even after six years apart, Sylvia has not forgotten Jan Brovic; during the war they had been deeply, secretly in love. But now there is a new war, and former allies have become bitter enemies. Jan is on the other side and his motives may not be pure.


Separated by the enmity of nations, Sylvia must decide whether to risk everything to be with the man she loves.

384 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 4, 2014

31 people are currently reading
136 people want to read

About the author

Helen MacInnes

68 books263 followers
Helen MacInnes was a Scottish-American author of espionage novels. She graduated from the University of Glasgow in Scotland in 1928 with a degree in French and German. A librarian, she married Professor Gilbert Highet in 1932 and moved with her husband to New York in 1937 so he could teach classics at Columbia University. She wrote her first novel, Above Suspicion, in 1939. She wrote many bestselling suspense novels and became an American citizen in 1951.

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5 stars
40 (15%)
4 stars
76 (28%)
3 stars
106 (40%)
2 stars
33 (12%)
1 star
8 (3%)
Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews
Profile Image for Christine.
1,321 reviews
October 17, 2018
The typical formula for a Helen MacInnes novel is espionage and politics with a side of romance. This book is the reverse: romance with a side of espionage and politics. It wasn't bad, just a different flavor. Good characterizations, as always.
Profile Image for Linda.
Author 1 book26 followers
April 1, 2013
Liked it because I like most McInnes novels, but not as much because it deals with adultery. Sure, there's not a real marriage, and it's only ever hinted that either Payton likes men in the main or in the particular...or perhaps he's just married to his job of intrigue. Certainly his wife is put on a safe shelf, and certainly you're encouraged to be sympathetic to the cause of love's loss...and it's made understandable that a woman raised by naiive parents who can't confront anything honestly would end up in a bad marriage. Still don't think that the woman snatching at happiness really had a worthwhile goal, though I did pity her. Couldn't understand many cultural reference re: the Korean war, though the romance between soldier and California cousin was good.
Profile Image for JoLynn.
106 reviews30 followers
February 7, 2017
A reworking of Anna Karenina in a Cold War setting. Intelligently written and evocative of its time. Well described characters.
Profile Image for Tina Tamman.
Author 3 books109 followers
June 1, 2022
This novel makes me wonder if I have ever read a spy story not written in English - it seems such an English-language genre. And yet Britain, and even the USA, have never been occupied! For me, as I was born in the Soviet Union, this seems odd - the entire genre. Frankly, I think Stefan Zweig writes better about fear, although his characters are never spies.
It took me quite a while to get into the story and one of the early chapters, about a dinner party, was even tedious, but I genuinely wanted to read the book (had not heard of the author until a friend mentioned her). I so much wish that I had felt for Sylvia, the heroine, but I didn't.
Profile Image for Sewingdervish.
257 reviews17 followers
June 23, 2023
Sadly, this MacInnes was not set in Europe but in Washington DC but otherwise it was very engaging I read it in about 2 sittings. Prague represented and two love stories.
Profile Image for Theresa.
368 reviews
February 2, 2022
I had read several of Helen MacInnes books and she has been a favorite author for many years. However this one seems to move slowly with little plot; simply a story set in the Cold War period after World War 2 with a star-crossed lovers couple. The main character, Jan Brovic, from Czechoslavkia is back seeking asylum in the United States, being 'watched' by his country's Communist party. He cannot help but set up a meeting with his old love, Sylvia, who is married to a very correct, older gentleman.

Sylvia discovers that her marraige was based on a sham and the story proceeds from there with a tragic ending. Not the author's best but the portrayal of societal and political customs at the time were interesting to read about.
Profile Image for Jean Carlton.
Author 2 books19 followers
April 2, 2016
2-
Where to start. I thought MacInnes was a spy/thriller novelist but this is much closer to Romance which I don't care for. The spy element of the plot was vague, the prose awkward, the characters confusing and trite and the ending just felt like a cheap solution to trying to actually explain the plot. I was tempted to stop reading more than once ....should have.
28 reviews
October 6, 2017
Weak plot... disappointing from a fabulous author

She is a gifted writer but romance only works for her as a side plot. So many of her stories are clever this one is absent. The characters are believable but the heroine least of all. An early effort i would guess; the end is weak but too sad for young readers. Skip it
Profile Image for Karlyne Landrum.
159 reviews71 followers
June 8, 2009
Warning! Sad, inevitable ending. But well written & hopeful, too.
Profile Image for Karen.
41 reviews
June 5, 2013
Less of a spy novel than i expected, having read several of her others. More of a love story. Still a good read, with some interesting observations.
218 reviews
December 20, 2014
Story set in the 1950s illustrates the paranoia about communism and the emotional stress and injury, along with all the spy intrigue.
Profile Image for Bonnie.
998 reviews2 followers
June 30, 2016
Couldn't really get into. Didn't finish
202 reviews2 followers
April 22, 2024
Unlike the first five novels I've read of Helen McGuinness, this one is not primarily a spy novel. As a matter of fact, this is a love story that deals with politics, the existential nature of being and love, with just the barest wisp of espionage. This is also the first Helen MacInnes novel that I've read that is based in Washington DC, specifically Georgetown, the home of Sylvia and Payton Pleydell. It starts off focusing on Sylvia. She is at the train station to meet her younger cousin, Kate Jerold, who was moving to DC for work at an art museum. While at the station, Sylvia is surprised with a former lover, Jan Brovic, who catches her by surprise. Jan used to fight for Czech independence—he was a good guy in the eyes of the Americans-- but now the DC gang is surprised that he's back in Washington as a diplomat for the new communist Czechoslovakian administration. Also, seemingly by coincidence, the younger Bob Turner, a Lieutenant in the army who has a crush on Sylvia, is also at the station that afternoon. We quickly meet the young and vivacious Kate who is ready to take on the world. Returning to the house, we learn about Payton Pleydell. He holds an important role in the US state department dealing with international trade. Although Sylvia is holding a welcome night dinner with friends at the Pleydell residence to welcome Kate, Payton is unable to attend because of a surprise business meeting. Payton spends many nights out without Kate. Payton spends a lot of time in the company of two younger men. Peyton is 17 years older than Sylvia. Payton had an unexplained “illness” at one point which opens the door to the possibility that in early the 1950s, he was receiving medical/mental attention for homosexuality. It's just a theory, and the “illness” is explained differently near the final major plot point in the story. The dinner party goes on without Payton, and we meet a variety of guests. Although they all seem to pop up throughout the novel, a couple play prominent roles. The very pregnant Amy Clark, Sylvia's good friend, and her husband Martin come back in an important way later in the story. Stuart Hollis, coming across as a playboy international attorney, takes a strong liking for Kate quickly. A result of their interaction creates a major turning point that leads to an unchangeable ending. Bob Turner, the army Lieutenant doing some training in the DC area, comes back in the second half of the novel in an important role as well. Kate, in the second half of the novel seems to take over the role of protagonist; however, by the end, this is Sylvia's story. And the end truly me.

So far this year I have read Above Suspicion, Assignment in Brittany, While Still We Live, Horizon, Neither Five Nor Three, and this story, I and My True Love. I have not read Friends and Lovers or Rest and be Thankful.

4 of 5 Stars
My personal review ratings are based upon the following:
1 Star, “I did not like it or couldn’t finish it”;
2 Stars, “I think it is just Ok, but I’ll never think about it again”;
3 Stars, “I think it is an entertaining, enjoyable book, but it probably won’t warrant a reread”;
4 Stars, “I really love this book, and I may read it again”;
5 Stars, “I think this book is excellent, I will read it again, and it will likely stand the test of time.”
Profile Image for Leslie.
386 reviews10 followers
September 24, 2022
Not my favorite Helen MacInnes by far. It's got spy themes but is mostly a love story (I prefer her works that have love themes but are mostly spy stories). It does show a kind of stylized terror in a abusive marriage (I wondered if the husband were gay), the ecstasy of even false escape into a doomed affair, and the emotional abyss between the two. McInnes was a close observer of people; this has a kind of Hitchcockian quality about it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Kidlitter.
1,479 reviews17 followers
July 27, 2025
MacInness is close to LeCarre here, our very own American spywriter who counts the heart as important as the head in Cold War shenanigans. DC was not a pleasant place to be in those days if you did not conform to so many codes of patriotism, family, culture and identity. What is a melodramatic romance with all the tropes becomes a tragic tale of star-crossed love not only of individuals, but of country. Where is our Douglas Sirk to make a film of this one?
Profile Image for Michelle Connell.
Author 3 books75 followers
May 10, 2020
A slow beginning, but then the suspense got interesting. Then the ending was unsatisfactory. Not her best work. I have enjoyed her other books though and will read more of them.
302 reviews4 followers
April 15, 2021
I read back 40 years ago, and this time it seemed to take a long time to develop. A good reminder of Cold War tensions and realities.
Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews

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