The Deviled Egg Made Me Do It

by Holly Wilde

Shelby shells egg shells by the sink side

Genres: Novella, Smut, Romance, Paranormal Romance, Erotica, Spicy, Ebooks

43 pages, Paperback

Published March 9, 2024

About the author

If you’re looking to escape the boundaries of reality that we are so often confined to, then look no further. Sentient-smutty-smut and literal personification of everyday items is what you’ll find here.

Hi! it’s nice to meet you, I’m Holly “no-explanation” Wilde, and if you don’t buckle your seatbelt up for this ride, your chair will do it for you.

Follow me over on IG to get updates on my latest releases!

Reviews

[J]

Listen. I was minding my business, scrolling through the usual chaos of my feed —when suddenly, BAM! There it was. This book. With reviews. Actual reviews. Not just lazy five-star button smashing, but people writing words with their hands about this thing. Naturally, I thought: What the hell is going on here? So I clicked. I read. And now I'm writing this from the floor because the deviled egg has claimed my sanity 😂

Apparently, the "horny devils of Bookstagram and BookTok" have united in unholy thirst, and they want this. They want it bad.
I peeked at the author's bio, expecting the usual “I love coffee and long walks through fictional trauma” thing—but no. NO. This woman said, “We are DONE explaining ourselves,” built an entire literary universe out of that principle, and basically said: Let the chaos reign and let the chair do the work. Excuse me??? 😂

So I did what any curious, possibly possessed reader would do. I buckled in, took a deep breath, and let Wilde take the wheel. Y'all. This book? Unhinged. Hilarious. Absurd. I laughed so hard I scared myself 😂 I'll never look at eggs or chive without my mind going perverted 😂 😆

Do I usually read these kinds of stories? No. I like my fictional men tattooed, morally grey, emotionally unavailable until the third act, and preferably capable of brooding on cliffs. Bonus if he has a tragic past and the blood of his enemies on his hands.

At one point, he put her on his shoulder and I literally paused like: WHERE IS A SHOULDER ON AN EGG? I screamed. I wheezed. I will never recover.

So no, this might not be my jam—but damn it, I respect the hustle. Don't yuck someone else's yum, especially when that yum has a sense of humor.

[Emily]

She was way too calm with an egg man being in her house

[Peter Topside]

Not sure about anyone else, but deviled eggs make me queasy. However, I've never encountered one like Damien here. And he's packing a peen the size of a baguette and had herbal pubes? And he ejaculated whisked egg yolks? How can any of us compete with that? Like my best trick to throw off my wife is to whisper "Be quiet or mom and dad will hear us" while we're being intimate. She hates when I do it, but it always cracks me up. The rule of good sex is to make sure at least one of the participants has a good time, right? Or maybe I've gotten that totally wrong. Anyway, this was silly and written to be so, but the sexual content was top notch. And there is a slight twist at the end that made me never want to eat eggs ever again, too. Good sex, good God, let us never be intimate with a humanoid egg.

[Анастасія ꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡]

У кожного є межа, і я зрозуміла, що оце моя😂 окей ти яйце і готуєш з себе для однієї людини/партнера, але сорі, якого хріна інші повинні це їсти, навіть ніхто про це їм не сказав, і що, що він на смак як яйця та зелень, сорі але це якось гидко.

[dani]

“cluck cluck”

[Stitching Ghost]

After yesterday's absolutely abysmal read I was in dire need of brain bleach and this thing came across my feed (thank you Bon!). Look, it is what it is, it's unhinged and unserious and it features questionable appendages.

[Madi]

i fear i am not seeing heaven

[Miranda]

Stay tuned for the hubby reaction video 😅 I have no words lmao.

[Conner]

I’m sorry but more than a DOZEN EGGS IN HER ASSHOLE????? Even without that I couldn’t stop picturing Mike Wazowski so I couldn’t find this one sexy. Also the weaponised incompetence made me so viscerally angry I got in a fight with my boyfriend while reading this.

Cluck cluck?!?!?!?!!?!? Help me. He ripped those eggs out of her like he was jumping a lawn mower.

Holly. Hollllyyyyyy. I was with you for the bear. I was still with you for the cake man. But making egg man JIZZ onto the PARTY EGGS????

[Mia]

"egghood"

[Kayla’s Book Binge]

I eat eggs everyday and now I’m scarred for life 👍 WHY DIDNT ANYONE QUESTION HOW AND WHY😂😂

[Samantha ☾⋆]

wow

I got this one in a stuff your kindle event and since halloween time I have been hearing a lot about this other and hallowpeen. When I saw this one on the stuff your kindle I had to get it and it was definitely a good quick little story to cleanse from all the mafia smut I’ve been reading!

[Elisabete]

So over the top, I wish it was longer. And the secret sauce? I'm deceased LOL

[Rhiannon Richards]

What the actual f did I just read? Laughed the whole way through. Thoroughly enjoyed the egg puns.

[nayeli]

CLUCK CLUCK was crazy work

anywho... friends ik yall will have questions and just know... i'm mentally unwell :p

[Biblio]

"Shell them? But I hardly know them!" I would pay good money to live in Holly's brain for a day. This did not disappoint. I had to pause and make some egg salad sandwiches as a reading snack for this one. Ambiance on point. Shelby is prepping a fancy Easter Brunch for her friends and accidentally cuts her finger on an egg shell. She walks away to take care of that and when she comes back she sees a very large suspicious egg shell. Then here comes the star of the story. Damien. Our "devilled" egg man. There's the use of deviled dick, egghood and devilhood. So clever, love it. There's horned peens, tail that resemble a beaded toy (if those beads were eggs themselves), savory spunk, and of course all the puns and silly dialogue. Holly nailed it. AGAIN. Fun short smutty sentient reads, my favorite!

[Morgan Kuhn]

We need to question why I put myself through these books.

[sunny ≽^• ˕ • ྀི≼]

she fucks a deviled egg what’s there to be said

[Mia]

I questioned myself reading this book. But then I remembered someone had to actually write this and I feel better

[Chelsea 🥀🗡🖤]

1.5 ⭐️ Look, don't judge me hahahah. I saw the title and had to read it 🤷‍♀️.

She was way too calm about there being an egg man in her house??? Also no one questioned it at dinner??

ALSO, "show me just how hard boiled his body really is" and "CLUCK, CLUCK" is crazy work 😅

[Katherine Ramirez-Martinez]

I will need some time before I can see eggs🥚the same.

[alyssa]

Cluck cluck, tap me out 😫

[AuntieErrica (audiobooks=life)]

Look, it’s a short read book about a giant deviled egg railing a woman before her dinner guests come over. You either know what you like, or you don’t, and if sex with inanimate objects/food doesn’t sound interesting to you, stay away from this book.
It’s well-written, imaginative, and just the right length. I’m not irked that we don’t know why the egg came to life—that’s not why I read this book—but it might’ve made an interesting quick side note.
The ending was finger-licking perfection, in my opinion. Brava!

[Heather Wallace]

The freshest chives you’ll ever taste 😂😂😂😂.

I don’t even know what to think right now. I devoured this… almost as fast as when deviled eggs are in the room 😉🫣. I can’t. I’m sorry 😂😂. TWELVE!!!!!

This book was short and spicy and exactly what I needed. Now excuse me while I go make some deviled eggs with a special ingredient 😉😍.

[Kassie]

Y’all… WTF 😂😅 3 notes:

1.) Holly Wilde’s writing is not bad. I would read a full novel of her’s, but my god the content in this story is fucking wild 😂

2.) I didn’t know what a sentient object romance story was until today

3.) Nothing, and I mean nothing, will keep me from eating deviled eggs. Not even this story. Deviled eggs for life 🥚🥚🥚

[Veronica Jackson]

This book is as ridiculous as it sounds.
But was it entertaining? Absolutely!
Will I ever eat deviled eggs the same again? Probably not!


(Thanks for another trauma bonding experience, Kaylee!) 🫶

[Ashlee Shahan]

Hear me out. It was good until I remembered it was about a “deviled” egg. 😂😂

[Cait Burch]

This was hilarious, but also completely unhinged and now I can’t eat deviled eggs. Don’t do this. Lol. The Deviled Egg is not making you read this. 😂

[julia]

we buddy read this out loud and i highly recommend 10/10 experience

[Erin B]

Was this book free on kindle and only 40 pages? Yes

Is it really about a woman and a deviled egg? Yes, yes it is.

Is this more upsetting and unhinged than I thought it would be? Also yes.

Not my kink but hey it was all consensual and there was a safe word (spoiler: it was “cluck cluck”)