What do you think?
Rate this book


472 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 24, 2020


A girl trying to put the pieces of her life back together two years after the man she loved was killed? Her moving into a new house next to a single dad neighbor with the body and looks that rival the likes of Thor and Captain America? Them having a whirlwind of friendship and romance?

“I damn well think you deserve to know that you might preach you’re a mess, but I think you’re pretty fucking perfect, wreckage and all.”
“I’ve always been an asshole. Selfish, careless, impetuous, you name it. But for her, I’ll be anything she needs. I’ll rip the world apart to keep her safe, and I’ll make damn sure I don’t give her anything to be embarrassed about when it comes to me.” — Jackson about his daughter Finley
“I’m choosing you today by telling you that your well-being is more important than my ego or my need for reassurance. I’ll choose you every single day that I’m gone, every mission that I fly, every second that I breathe. You don’t have to be with me. I’ll be with you.”
“I choose you. And if I have to let you lose me so you can save yourself, then I’ll hold on enough for the both of us. That’s how much I love you.”

↳ you have Morgan (h) moving to this huge ass house to rebuild it and "heal" herself after losing the man she loved 2 years ago because he was a pilot for the military and he sacrificed his life for her friends' husbands. for the past 2 years, she's had this thing called complicated grief and it got so bad that she had anxiety attacks, can't even open his truck, etc. AND THEN - get this - Jackson, the hot neighbor with the cute little kid that she is falling for is also a pilot soo uhh... yikes.
"God, I didn’t deserve this man who held me carefully as I cried out my grief for another."
"I’ve waited my entire life to love you, Morgan. Everything that came before was just to prepare me for your arrival, to teach me how to love you."

"I'm going to love you so well that you'll never doubt that I choose you. Every day. Every situation. I choose you."
↳ Morgan has been in love with Will (OM) for 8-10 years but they were never together. her love was unrequited because he was in love with Peyton (her best friend's sister who died) and then dated Peyton's sister, Paisley. he ALWAYS chose someone else and never Morgan. but the day of his deployment, he promised they'll be together when he comes back but he died few days later.
"Every label I could put on what I had with Will felt too small, too pale in comparison to what we'd been, and what we could have evolved into, and yet too big for our lack of definition."
↳ "The man I loved with my whole heart gave his life so one of the women he loved could have her husband... I've spent the last two years wondering why I wasn't enough to make him want to live."
↳ "Just like Peyton hadn't chosen Will... and yet he'd still loved her until his dying breath. He'd loved Paisley, too, even when she'd chosen Jagger. But he'd never loved me, even though I was the only one who had ever chosen him."

“You don’t have to be mine. I’m yours.”

"Morgan, grief isn't a measure how much someone loved you. It's a measure of how much you loved them."
He walked to the door and then through it but turned around once he was on the deck. “I love you more than any torture you could ever ask of me. So, if I love you enough to walk away, can’t you love me enough to stay?”
“You told me if I loved you, I would walk out the door and wouldn’t come back. But the truth is that I love you enough to walk out the door and come back.”
My breath hitched.
“You can give me up. That’s okay. My love is strong enough to carry us both through this.”
“If you want to shove that love you don’t feel for me into a little box and file it away in your emotional basement so you can survive these next three months, then be my guest. It’s not like I get a say anyway, right?” His words were at odds with the smirk he wore. “So fine, file me away, Kitty. Live your life. Start your new job. Finish up your therapy and heal. But just like I can’t make you stay with me, you can’t stop me from loving you.”

Take the money. Use it. Don’t just give it to charity or stick it in a bank account, Morgan. Spend it on something that brings you happiness. Use it to leave like you always planned. I just wish I were going with you.
”How often do you think about him?” My eyes jumped back to hers. “More than I should.” All the time. Every minute of every day. If my life was an ocean, then the water was Will. Always there, sometimes calm, deep and soothing, and sometimes he was a tsunami ready to pull me under in waves of grief so deep I wondered when I’d eventually drown.
It was always Josh and Ember. Then Paisley and Jagger. And Sam and Grayson. I had assumed it would be Will and me…until he was killed in Afghanistan. The girl I’d been, the one who believed in happily-ever-afters, had died with him. I didn’t even know the woman I was now- just that she had a fixer-upper beach house and a master’s degree in childhood education and English. The rest of me was a whole lot of empty, and whatever wasn’t empty was pain. “They miss you,” Sam said softly. “Ember. Paisley. The guys.” “I’ll get there,” The promise felt as hollow as my heart. “Just not yet.”
”Anything I am that resembles good is because of her.” He nodded toward Finley. “I’ve always been an asshole. Selfish, careless, impetuous, you name it. But for her, O’ll be anything she needs. I’ll rip the world apart to keep her safe, and I’ll make damn sure I don’t give her anything to be embarrassed about when it comes to me.”
I see you everywhere, in the stars, in the river; to me you’re everything that exists; the reality of everything. Though the confession belonged to a man who had never lived, published in a book that had been written over a hundred years ago, my chest tightened and my breath caught because I knew that feeling with an intimacy that shook my very being. I saw him everywhere. Somewhere in the last five months, my existence had shifted. My center of gravity had moved. He was my reality of everything.
”It’s okay to do all you can and still lose, still get washed away. It sucks, but it’s a far less tragic ending than never having tried.” The air between us thickened as he glanced my way and then back to the road. “Yeah, it’s those lost chances that end up hurting the worst,” I said quietly.
”I damn well think you deserve to know that you might preach you’re a mess, but I think you’re pretty fucking perfect, wreckage and all.”
He actually wanted me. He saw the mess and wanted me anyway, somehow finding beauty in everything I called wreckage. Damn it, I didn’t want it to be wreckage anymore. I wanted to be whole again. I wanted to have something to offer this man who took me hiking in the moonlight and pulled me away from my own shadow with his light. He made me want to live, not just survive and hope for the best. He’d reignited that spark within me from the moment I felt that flare of attraction on the beach and the care he’d taken when rescuing me from my own staircase - Jackson had become my reward for learning to live again.
He'd mastered the art of emotional seduction by patience.
- yeah, he totally did.


“But what does it say about me that two years later I’m still so fucked-up about it that I have to be treated for a grief disorder? Why? Because I still think it’s so fucking unfair that everyone else in our group of friends got their happy endings at the expense of mine? What kind of person thinks that? What kind of person can’t talk to her best friend because all she wants to do is scream that it’s not fair? That everyone acted like my heart didn’t matter—I didn’t matter.”
“Just like Peyton hadn’t chosen Will…and yet he’d still loved her until his dying breath. He’d loved Paisley, too, even when she’d chosen Jagger. But he’d never loved me, even though I was the only one who had ever chosen him.”
“She had a broken heart, and I had a kid whose heart I couldn’t risk.”
“I’m not about to be one of your regrets when I have the option to be your choice.”

╰┈➤ ❝Would you believe me now if I told you I got caught up in a wave? Almost gave it away; would you hear me out if I told you I was terrified for days? Thought I was gonna break.❞



