Five Portraits

Xanth #39

by Piers Anthony

The magical land of Xanth is in peril in this follow-up to Board Stiff by New York Times–bestselling author Piers Anthony.

“It occurs to me that you folk are no ordinary group,” the troll said.

“We're on a special mission to eliminate the last of the anti-pun virus. We are a bit unusual.”

Astrid Basilisk-Cockatrice is the daughter of anonymous parents who whiled away a dull minute by generating her on a warm compost pile, then went their own deadly ways, never to see her or each other again. She found herself a soul, but her gaze is fatal and her touch is toxic. That’s not so strange in the Land of Xanth, where everyone has a unique magical talent, and charms, curses, and enchanted puzzles lie around every corner.

Now, Astrid and her companions are finishing the cleanup of a virus that ravaged the puns of Xanth, and new Quests are already popping up. For instance, Astrid is attempting to fulfill her mission in life, if only she can figure out what that is. And then there’s the missing Question from the Good Magician’s Book of Answers. Not to mention the small matter of a Demon Wager regarding the impending destruction of Xanth. But it’s nothing Astrid and her motley crew of lovely maidens and strapping men can’t handle . . . they hope.

Genres: Fantasy, Fiction, Humor, Speculative Fiction, Science Fiction Fantasy, Science Fiction

271 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2014

About the author

Though he spent the first four years of his life in England, Piers never returned to live in his country of birth after moving to Spain and immigrated to America at age six. After graduating with a B.A. from Goddard College, he married one of his fellow students and and spent fifteen years in an assortment of professions before he began writing fiction full-time.

Piers is a self-proclaimed environmentalist and lives on a tree farm in Florida with his wife. They have two grown daughters.

Reviews

[Len Evans Jr · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just gotta say that this was awesome, the mix of the puns, humor and heart was perfect. Will write more later once it all sinks in.

[Shari Mulluane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Source: Publisher/Net Galley for review consideration
Originally posted on Old Bat's Belfry

Can a soulless Demoness learn friendship? Can a basilisk, who can kill with a look, become a loving guardian for five orphans? And can those five orphans, each with dangerous gifts, find new homes? Alot is at stake as the very future of Xanth rests on the shoulders of five frightened children.

♦ The Story. The same characters from Board Stiff continue their stories in this new Xanth installment. This is a bit unusual for a Xanth novel. There are plenty of characters that cross over and play bit parts in new books but an entire cast rarely makes a subsequent appearance.

However, this tale may contain familiar characters, but it is a much different story and I have to say -- a better one.

♦ What I Liked. Friendship, love, and relationships are explored from numerous perspectives and when I say explored I mean deeply. Piers Anthony has outdone himself with Five Portraits! As an added plus, some of the "cuteness" of his early novels is back, resulting in some great feel-good scenes.

This is also a thought provoking story. Board Stiff was pretty much about a group of people all trying to find their perfect mate. There was a common goal of saving Xanth but there were lots of individual goals to go with it. In this book however, the main goal (again saving Xanth but from a different threat) felt more urgent and less certain. The plight of the orphans added an emotional connection that was lacking in Board Stiff and having a central protagonist made things more personal. All of this resulted in a much tighter story and led to me giving it a five star rating as opposed to the four stars I gave Board Stiff.

Sadly there were also fewer puns but I barely noticed. The story itself was all the entertainment I could ask for and more. It is full of fun, adventure, danger, and uncertainty. There are monsters to defeat, puzzles to solve, personal demons to deal with and real demons interfering every step of the way. There is alot of personal growth and character development. It was easy to get sucked in and hard to put down. And of course it has its silly moments too.

♦ What I didn't like. There was some profanity that slipped past the "Bleep" censor. (Profanity used around or by children usually comes out as "Bleep!" or if they are very young, "Blip!") The slips were by design of course, along with explanations on when a word is being used clinically and when it is used as a curse word. In other situations the cussing fit the innate proclivities of some of Xanth's more violent residents. Along the same lines, there were a few too many potential rape scenes to suit me, but since this is satirical exaggeration it is supposed to make you feel uncomfortable on occasion. In these books you will find pure evil, extreme good and creatures simply being true to their natures. It all fits, even when things are particularly nasty.

♦ My Thoughts. There is a priceless afterword at the conclusion of this book where Piers Anthony explains his use of parody and apologizes for the lack of a profusion of puns. He also explains the writing process behind this book and of course credits the puns he did use. This addendum to the book alone was almost worth the price of admission.

I did have a technical issue with him calling his writing a series of parodies, while I consider them to be satirical, but it is his book. If he says he employes parodies, well then parodies it is. I don't care what they are called; they explore the dark depths of mankind's less endearing qualities while providing laugh out loud comic relief.

I call it genius!

♦ Conclusion. You can read this book without reading Board Stiff first. There are enough "what has gone before" scenes to bring you up to speed but I recommend reading #38 anyway. That way you'll experience the full flavor of the characters involved. Be aware that while this book may feature young children with coming of age issues, it addresses some very adult subjects along the way. Be prepared to squirm at times but also be prepared for sudden urges to laugh or to hug the people you love. This novel is a gem of diversity and a lesson in the true meaning of friendship. Easily one of the best comedic fantasies ever written.

@Mulluane

[Angela · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Stars

Five Portraits is the thirty-ninth book in the Xanth series by Piers Anthony. This is the follow up to the previous book, Board Stiff. We join the motley band of adventurers as they complete their quest.

The Xanthe Series is quite a really long series that has spanned many decades. I remember reading the first few books back in the very early 1980’s and was totally captivated by the epic fantasy that unfolded before my eyes. I collected all the books as each new one was released and have revisited them a few times over the years.
I can honestly say that although these books didn’t blow me away as they did the first couple of times I read them- I still really enjoyed all the adventure, magic, swords & sorcery like, epic fantasy that Mr. Anthony is renowned for.
He has imbued his stories with plenty of humour, a playfulness, lots of fun, action, some history, conspiracies, secrets, surprising developments, and much, much more. We meet so many varied and original characters along the way- the books are full of wonderful fictional beasts and paranormal creatures. From centaurs, to demons, dragons, fauns, gargoyles, goblins, golems, harpies, merfolk, elves, nymphs, ogres, zombies, and curse fiends- and a few more I am sure have slipped my mind.
The world of Xanthe is wonderfully rich and vividly descriptive. It is really well written and is so easy to imagine, it came to life before my eyes. Each ‘person’ in Xanthe is born with their own unique magical ability, which is called a ‘talent’. We follow along on many epic adventures and explore the world as the story unfolds.
I have many fond memories of reading this book/series and it’s definitely a series that’s worth exploring- especially for any epic fantasy lover who loves some fun and humour served with their adventure.

Thank you, Mr. Anthony!

[Emily Green · Rating 3 out of 5]

It had been a long time since I read any Piers Anthony books, but I remember really enjoying his works, especially the Incarnations of Immortality series when I was in middle school. I read a few of the Xanth books and thought they were funny, but the Incarnation of Immortality were my favorite.

Reading Five Portraits from the Xanth series now, as an adult, certainly reminded me of middle school and why I appreciated the humor. Lots of puns, sexual innuendo, and every female, even the demons, is well endowed and attractive. Every man is put into a stupor when observing a female. My appreciation is not the same now as it was then. Mostly, the adolescent humor is not as amusing to me, but also the plot was not as exciting as I would have liked. Probably will not be revisiting this series anytime soon.

[LibraryDanielle · Rating 5 out of 5]

*I received an e-galley from Netgalley in return for an honest review.

I double checked my approval email and didn't see any restrictions about posting early, so I am posting this now. (August 2014) Hopefully this is OK.

I was impressed by this. Normally, Xanth books are light, silly, and fun. And while this was silly at times, and fun, it wasn't light. I feel like several important topics were touched on in this tale.
**Since I'm on the mobile GR version, and spoiler tags don't always work correctly, I will be reposting an edited review tomorrow.** Review edited and spoiler added. You've been warned.


Five Portraits is unusual in that it is a direct sequel to the previous Xanth novel, Board Stiff. Five Portraits takes place immediately after Board Stiff's end, and with the same characters. Astrid Basilisk-Cockatrice needs a third best friend to complete her prophecy and save Xanth with Five Portraits. But who will be her friend? And Kandy is now in an uncomfortable position as the Demoness Fornax's liaison in Xanth. Kandy finds herself in a pickle when Fornax, having seen the benefits of friendship in Board Stiff, asks to be Kandy's friend. Since Kandy needs to stay impartial as Fornax's representative, she nominates Astrid. Astrid is bemused and uncertain how to proceed. So Astrid and Fornax embark on a mini quest to get advice on being friends. Wenda Woodwife advises them: try children. And the adventure is on. The two unlikely friends manage to acquire five orphans from the future who may help save Xanth. But they need families to have family portraits done...

As Piers Anthony says in the Author's Note (which was rather short this time, something I was a bit disappointed over), "Xanth parodies things, such as the mundane attitudes toward sex..." and this very much so did. At first, I was put off by all the caviler references towards characters getting/about to be/having been/etc. raped. And then I thought for a minute. Don't I have to deal with these kinds of attitudes all the time? Yes. I do. It just isn't so obvious as a Troll saying "Hey, guess what? I'm going to rape you, than eat you." Things are much more (and less) subtle in mundania. The attitude is the same though. That as a female that's all I'm good for. And, yes. It IS over the top. But, parody. Parodies blow things up and make them huge and ridiculous so you pay attention. I don't know if this was Mr. Anthony's intention when he wrote this novel the way he did, but I kind of hope he did. I have immense respect for Piers Anthony, and if he wrote like I think he did, it just grew tenfold.
I was also put off by the characters reactions to having been/about to be/etc raped. They're all very blase about it. Like, damn. I was almost raped there for a minute. Oh, well. Or, crap. Raped again. But like before, I thought about it (this edition of Xanth really made me think), and realized, that's the way society want me to be, blown up in parody form, of course. But we're expected to just let it go, not pursue it, and forgive the perpetrator. Five Portraits rubs our noses in this.
It is a far step from A Spell For Chameleon, when Bink and Wynn participate in a trial for rape. But, again, to me it felt like a statement on what our world is like. I saw my own experience in this where I was told it didn't matter, wasn't a big deal, and to just move on, through this whole book. But not in a mocking manner. I would like to be very clear on this. I did not feel mocked or belittled. It was more like a minor epiphany. An outside view on something I couldn't see from the outside.
So I would like to applaud Mr. Anthony for having the guts to stand up and say "This is how society views rape. It's f-ed up."
In addition to this heavy topic we also talk about adoption, single parenting, and homosexuality. While I wish that Piers Anthony felt like he could include any kind of character he wants into his stories, as he says in the Author Note, he *is* a commercial writer. And he depends on and writes for his fans. Which kind of disappoints me in a way. That people are still so stupid that they object to a gay character in a fantasy. I felt SO much for the gay character though. I felt like it was spot on. And while I won't ruin it, because it is a pivot point, I will say that the conversations between the characters were what needs to be said now. To every gay child. Immediately. The same for the single parenting bit. It was really nice to see something outside the "traditional" nuclear family. I just wish it was more. While the adoption points are crucial to the storyline, I didn't think they were as weighty. I loved the "lessons" learned by the characters and the way that their learning process could maybe influence the reader.

[Ginny · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have not been keeping up with the Xanth series and I started back with Board Stiff the one before this. That was a great novel with an interesting storyline. Five Portraits is a follow up to that story. The story felt cobbled together and not really cohesive. The main issue I had with the novel was with its mention of rape. The word rape or variations of it were used so much in this novel that I felt like I was reading the same pages over and over again. The Xanth series has a serious sexual undertone but this was way too much.

[Tiamatty · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is the 39th Xanth novel. As a nice change of pace, this one has very little to do with romance. There's still bits of it here and there, but since the main character already found a boyfriend in the previous book, there's no reason for it to be the focus of this one. Instead, the focus is on friendship and parenthood. Unfortunately, those are treated much the same way here as romance is usually treated in the Xanth books - characters all get along as soon as they meet, with virtually no real interpersonal conflicts, and with little real build-up. It's all so easy that it winds up being boring. Friendship and especially parenthood are not easy. They are messy things, with all sorts of conflicts arising. But those things never happen in Xanth. Every single conflict is external. And even there, it's hard to feel any tension, because the last couple dozen Xanth books have proven that nothing bad will ever happen to any character.

There's also the ongoing problem of sameness. This has been a problem for the series for a while now. Characters tend to be pretty much interchangeable, without much in the way of distinct personalities. Certain jokes have been hammered into the ground so much that they actually make me angry now. ("Men only want one thing" and crap like that. Jokes that he makes a dozen times in every single book. The fact that the jokes aren't even clever or insightful just makes them that much worse, because it's actually just repeating tired and worn-out stereotypes and cliches.)

At least Anthony has finally included a gay character. Considering a previous book had a relationship between a man and a child, the lack of any gay characters was becoming pretty damn glaring. It's only an 8-year-old child in this book, but it's a start. It's better than the complete and total absence of any gay characters the series has had up to now. But even then, I was disappointed with how it was handled. Xanth has ridiculously idealized romances, but it's strongly implied here that homosexuality isn't really accepted in Xanth. I feel like Xanth actually should be accepting of it. Regardless, now that he's established that homosexuality is, in fact, something that actually exists within Xanth, it might be nice if an upcoming book had a same-sex relationship. It doesn't have to be the main protagonist, but having a Companion find love in a same-sex relationship might be a good idea.

Honestly, with every new Xanth book, I find it harder and harder to justify reading it. I feel like I'm reading it out of habit at this point, rather than any genuine enjoyment. These books should be so much better than they are.

[Michael Bates · Rating 4 out of 5]

(I won this book through Goodreads giveaways.)

If you like any of the Xanth books, I see no reason not to like this one. As usual for Piers, his writing is great. There's always a combination of intelligent, perverted and funny,yet if you pay attention, their are lots of morals to take from every book in the Xanth series. The main one just being a good person.

Plot-I give 3.5 Stars too. The reason is that while I like this book, I feel the story was a bit to short in some areas, and because of this you don't get to know the children as well as you could. They seemed to much like one another instead of being 5 different characters. I do love the idea though of saving the children and them bonding together to take on whatever great problem Xanth has. Besides it being a little to short, I find no other problem with Xanth-Five Portaits. After 39 books, I still love the setting and the group of characters coming to together to save Xanth. Love it.

Characters-I give 4 stars too. The reason for the 4 stars is the characters are great, like usual. This time though you get a little bit more continuity with characters coming back for another book. I loved the first several books of Xanth because of the characters being in the the next couple books. This gives me a chance to get to know them and of course love them or hate them. Bringing back Astrid, (who is a delightful person and one of my top 10 female characters of Xanth) to me was a great idea. I was for sure happy to learn more of her story. The orphans in the book are good as well, but they just seemed more like one entity instead of a group of 5 different children and personality. Lastly, I continue to like the involvement of the Demons (Capital D) and to know more of there stories and their home world. (More continuity for characters, no more one and done. Lets get to know them more like Bink and Dor.)

Xanth-I Give 4.5 stars too. After 39 books, the land of Xanth and the talented people are still fascinating. He keeps expanding Talents, and keeps exploring new areas of Xanth. One of my favorite parts of Xanth is that it keeps changing, with new areas needing discovered and new people from different planets or timelines, it's very hard to grow tired of that.

Overall-Xanth is one of my favorite series and this book shows me why its still true. I will be waiting for the next in the series.

[Kristen (belles_bookshelves) · Rating 1 out of 5]

"The longer you share experiences, the more your friendship will develop."

Honestly, I think I'm Xanth-ed out. The puns were so consist and unending that I legitimately ended this book with a splitting headache.

I miss the original novels (A Spell for Chameleon, Dragon on a Pedestal, or Crewel Lye). They were campy and funny and, though predictable, they were amusing and a fun read. Now I feel like I'm forcing myself through each novel, and it's not as fun anymore.

[Tara Bates · Rating 4 out of 5]

Probably the last Xanth entry on my 2015 ultimate reading challenge list (number 33), "a book with a number in the title" this is a pretty typical Xanth novel except it does tend towards a bit more serious subplots. There is the first openly stated gay character which I was very pleased to see. Gender identity and LGBTQ tendencies are definitely undertones in a lot of the characters and plots of Xanth books but it's good to see some movement towards more inclusive characters.

[Nathan Dehoff · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was up to date on the Xanth series for a little while, but then I fell behind again. This one is from 2013, and doesn't particularly deviate from the formula, although it does finally show a single parent adopting children. There's also a gay character in a generally incredibly heteronormative fantasy land, but he's not a huge part of the story. As is often the case in these books, the plot revolves around a group of nearly all-powerful Demons, many of them associated with celestial bodies, playing a game that involves the actions of normal people (well, relatively speaking) in Xanth. The main character is Astrid, a basilisk who usually takes human form, who is still journeying around the country with her companions trying to eliminate all traces of an anti-pun virus. One of the Demons, Fornax, decides to try to make friends with Astrid, which then leads to her helping out the basilisk in indirect ways on her adventure. On Wenda Woodwife's advice, Astrid and her friends seek help from the Demoness Dysnomia in journeying to a possible future where Xanth is destroyed to adopt some children from that time. These kids are a boy who makes fireworks, a girl who produces wind, an alien squid who can shift her shape, a girl who turns to mist, and a boy who makes holes. There are a lot of references to stuff from earlier books, some of which I can remember. It's pretty disturbing how often it mentions rape, which is certainly presented as a bad thing, but used way too often as shorthand to make it clear someone is evil. There are plenty of other ways that could be accomplished.

[Hazel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I quite enjoyed this one. It's all about family. It features the first 2 Gay Xanth characters. I mean there are instances of women kissing each other, but it's from a straight cis man gaze perspective, and I think that Piers does okay with how he handles the gay boy. How he handles the other gay character isn't so great though. Zosi the zombie's boyfriend is Gay in Mundania and Straight in Xanth? Seems really weird and complex. Just have him be bi.

Anyway I liked the child adopting, the finding family aspect. There's a single mother, which is great. I don't know why One of the other characters had to marry and couldn't have just adopted a child on her own as well, but hey it's a lot better diversity than we've had from this series before.

[Nina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Much more interesting and engaging read than Board Stiff, its immediate predecessor, this novel is more like the Xanth books of old. The children are not all fully fleshed out, but that’s not an enormous failing. After all, this is written from the point of view of a transformed basilisk - she has little understanding of children and only an observational understanding of humans in general. Just as I was beginning to be annoyed by the omniscience and omnipotence of the children (sorry, the “Communing” is just weird), it has a more reasonable explanation.

A quick adventure with a happy ending. That’s what Xanth does best.

[Margaret Stevens · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am one of those strange people who cannot seem to make a pun but who loves them anyway. I am the one who goes through Facebook putting groans on my friends' posts when they make a good one. Mr. Anthony loves puns too, and he uses the ones sent to him. He puts them in his Xanth novels, of which this is one. He also acknowledges the puns that are submitted to him in the author's afterword. The humor in these books is not to everyone's taste, but it certainly is to mine. I admire the way the author crafts the use of his puns and how well the plot of the story holds the puns together in a cohesive whole. What more can I say? I think you will enjoy this book and I recommend it highly.

[Stuart Schneider · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was a sequel to a book that merited my lowest rating ever, so you know where it’s going before you even pick it up. This effort was a very shallow attempt to praise adoption and homosexuality (even the outdated nomen “gay” is used here) in a setting that is both trivial and boring. How does painting five portraits save Xanth from extinction? Another BS demon bet? Who cares. This is dumb from cover to cover. How can such a great author go from so high to so low? Four more to go at this point of the published material, so I figure in a couple of weeks, I will beyond this silliness, giving myself respite until the unpublished likely crap comes out whenever.

[Keith Beasley-Topliffe · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love in many forms can change or even save the world (of Xanth).

Like all Xanth books, this one involves a quest that involves making friends and personal growth for the protagonist (and lots of puns). But here the growth is for pretty much all characters and the the stakes are as high as the survival of Xanth itself. The twists and turns are significant to individuals and overall plot alike. So important there's no room for long lists of pun credits or autobiographical notes.

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Typical Xanth novel, but with fewer puns than usual.

I found a few errors in the text that survived the proofreading process: flash o panties / flash of panties ; wiled away / whiled away ; werwolves / werewolves ; Myst will fend off / Win will fend off ; Gamble's system / Gambol's system ; signed / sighed ; SQID (Chapter 13 title) / SQUID ; (in Hades) Princess Dawn & Dawn / Princess Eve & Eve ; Billi Ant / Brilli Ant.

[Andrew · Rating 2 out of 5]

Classic late Peirs Anthony Xamth book. Lots of ideas very little dept of exploration. Some characters at unnatural. Not a lot of detail and some characters talk kinda robotic. Way too many characters for this type of story. Meandering without a clear concise path. No sense of danger or risk. At least the softcore porn is very little in this one.
I wonder how Peirs Anthony would write a monster girl harem story in his setting. I'd be interested to see that.

[Kate H · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Xanth books by Piers Anthony were one of the first SciFi/Fantasy series I ever read. I love puns so I have always enjoyed them. Upon re-reading them I can see that they have some weaknesses but overall they stand the test of time. They are a fun and fast read that keeps me amused without any deep thinking required.

[Jacqueline P. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not the best Xanth story I've read but not the worse. It did get a bit rapey at times with the constant threats to Astrid. That could have been omitted from the overall story. It didn't enhance it at all.

[Nancy McPherson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sequel to Board Stiff, but I thought Board Stiff was better.

[John (Hey Y'all Listen Up) · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the better Xanth novels, especially in the last half of the series. The main character is immediately interesting and the plot is interesting.

[John S. Guthrie Jr. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Xanth story

It had good plot and followed the last book of Xanth. It was a little slow at times and required some added storyline from previous books.

[Beverly · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fun continuation of tha Board Stiff characters. I really enjoyed seeing more of the Demons.

[Vader · Rating 3 out of 5]

5 star - Perfect
4 star - i would recommend
3 star - good
2 star - struggled to complete
1 star - could not complete it.

[Bill Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

Possibly too much involvement from Demons this time - but still a good story . . .

[Ian · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best Xanth for ages - witty, affecting and clever.

[Anastaciaknits · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've reviewed Anthony a bunch of times before, & I always have such mixed reactions to his stuff. I adored him as a kid/teen/young adult, and Anthony is the reason why I love to read today, as an adult. It's a bond I share with my dad - he handed me my first "adult" book (Golem in the Gears, by Anthony, part of the same Xanth series) in the summer before I started my forth grade year, and I've never looked back.

I enjoyed this one a bit more than the last one in the series; it's not as filled with puns (he explains in the author note he wrote this one ahead of schedule so there was less time for his mailbox to fill up with puns from fans; I always think it must be so nice that his fans write half his story for him). Puns are a part of Xanth as yarn is to a knitter, but the puns do get a bit old sometimes. Ironically, I missed the puns in this one, so I think I like them more than I think I do.

There's the usual sexual commentary Anthony always seems to make - maidens about to get raped, and then laughing about it two seconds after it almost happens - it bothered me a lot in his last novel, but I read it this time more as he meant it - social commentary / a parody.

I am thrilled to see that Anthony has finally introduced a gay character, too - it's about time, and kudos Piers Anthony!

-
free copy from netgalley in exchange for my honest review