How to Raise a Viking: The Secrets of Parenting the World’s Happiest Children

by Helen Russell

'Helen has a way to take big ideas and convey them with warmth and wisdom' Dr Rangan Chatterjee

'Enlightening and entertaining’ Helen Thorn

'Ditch all the other parenting books' Matt Rudd

'Witty and informative' Meik Wiking

After a decade of living in Denmark and raising a family there, Helen Russell noticed that Nordic children are different. They eat differently. They learn differently. They run, jump and climb out in nature for hours a day, even though the weather is terrible and it's dark October to March. And then they grow up to be some of the happiest adults on the planet. Her question how?

In How to Raise a Viking, Russell takes a deep dive into the parenting culture of Denmark and the other Nordic nations, from parental leave policies to school structure, screen time, and the surprising customs that lead to happy, well-adjusted humans. This fascinating peek behind the cultural curtain allows readers a glimpse of another world, where babies sleep outside in their prams up to -20°C and pre-schoolers wield axes.

Refreshingly funny and unfailingly optimistic about the new generation of humans growing up in the world right now, this is a heart-warming love letter to Russell’s adopted homeland and proof that we could all use a bit more Viking in our lives.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Self Help, Denmark, Psychology, Society

357 pages, Hardcover

Published January 1, 2024

About the author

Helen Russell is a bestselling author, journalist, speaker and host. Formerly editor of marieclaire.co.uk turned Scandinavia correspondent for the Guardian, her first book, The Year of Living Danishly, became an international bestseller, optioned for television. She's the author of five critically acclaimed books, translated into 21 languages.

Helen writes for magazines and newspapers globally, including The Times and The Sunday Times, the Telegraph, the Independent, National Geographic, Wall Street Journal, the Observer, Metro, Grazia, Stylist and Stella. She’s spent the last ten years studying cultural approaches to emotions and now speaks about her work internationally.

Reviews

[Tiffany · Rating 4 out of 5]

Many thanks to the author, Helen Russell, and Sourcebooks Publishing for providing me with an ARC of this book. The publication date is set for July 09, 2024!

As a parent, I love books like these. It’s fascinating to see how things are done in different cultures, and I enjoyed learning more about the “Viking way.” This book mixes cultural differences, parenting, and personal experiences specific to the author and her family.

I did find it to be a little longer than necessary, as the author focused heavily on personal stories. This felt more like a memoir/autobiography rather than a parenting book. But with that to say, I did enjoy hearing about the author’s life. This book is an excellent addition to the genre. I recommend it if you’re interested in how Danes live and the impact of their culture on families.

3.5 stars, rounding up!

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's rare to find an author who writes so engagingly and wittily about statistics and social trends. I'd very much enjoyed The Year of Living Danishly, which was a surprise hit for my book club, but found that this was full of more niche information than I needed, especially as a nonparent. I read the first four chapters (about sperm donation, childbirth, parental leave and daycare in the Nordic countries) and skimmed another six. The "What I've Learned" recap at the end of each chapter is a nice touch.

[Amy Brown (amylikestoreadalot) · Rating 4 out of 5]

A microgenre I adore: parenting in other countries. So this book was right up my alley. Part memoir (author is British, but has lived in Denmark for 10 years), part parenting book, this shared how children are being raised in the Nordic countries. Fun and fascinating. Makes me want to play outside with my kids, summer in small huts near the sea, and enjoy hygge. If you like reading about life in other countries, too-especially parenting-you might like this one, too!

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

LOVED this book! Funny, smart, well-written. I learned a lot, but it wasn't preachy.

[Tessa Rita · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars! This books was genuinely, the most light-hearted, witty and hilarious parenting book I've ever read! Which imo is hard to come by. Time to pack up and move to denmark!! I'm sold!

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Russell's books so much! As in The Year of Living Danishly, she breaks each aspect of her topic into chapters, lays them out with clarity, plenty of humor, and with anecdotes from both friends and experts. I wish that I'd had this book when my 19yo was born, that's for darn sure! But it's still worth having if your kids are older, or if you're an educator. Or just someone really interested in the difference between the Nordic countries and the US or UK., as regards to child-reaing. Lucky me, I I fit into a couple of those categories!

[Bruna ✨]

- Thank you Netgalley, the publisher and the author for providing this arc! -

This was very interesting. I really enjoyed learning more about the Danish ways. However, the book was filled with the author's personal stories, which made it less enjoyable for me. Perhaps in the future, I'll revisit it.

DNF: 115/384 pages - 30%

[Allegra · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the more interesting enjoyable parenting books I’ve read! As an American with a Scandinavian parent I loved so many of the parenting techniques of Scandinavians. Although some concepts are a little too out there for me to implement as a parent I agree with almost everything in the book and love the concept of raising kids to be independent and focusing on a lot of time outdoors

[Hannah Polomcak · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helen Russell made this SO fun and easy to listen to/read. I found her funny and relatable. I’m looking forward to reading The Year of Living Danishly next. Spoiler…this will make you want to move to a Nordic country and raise your children as “Mini Vikings”.

[Lisa of Hopewell · Rating 4 out of 5]

My Interest

With the exception of their new King Frederick and Queen Mary, and possible Fred’s brother Prince Joachim and his family, the Danes are supposedly the happiest people on Earth. Even the new Queen used to take her little princes and princess to preschool on her bike. The former Queen, Margarethe, known to British courtiers as “The Great Dane,” openly smoked in public and had a happy private life as an illustrator and set designer.

Then there’s the whole hygge thing. These are happy people. Why?

Apparently it starts at birth….


The Story

How to Raise a Viking

The Danes approach child raising without all the angst of modern-day-American parents. If they go out to a cafe for lunch, they park the stroller, with baby in it, outside and just enjoy their lunch. No CPS raid, no abducted kids–or fears of those things happening.

School starts outside. There is no such thing as bad weather–only inadequate clothing [paraphrase] is the mantra. Little ones are dressed in gear suitable for outdoors and…stay there. They play outdoors in ALL weather, but suitably dressed in warm snowsuits, waterproof boots and all the rest of it. They get dirty. They stomp in the mud. They climb things–and there’s no soft pad at the bottom if they fall. They are not then power washed, sanitized and rushed to a pediatrician. They just go home and eat whatever Mom or Dad puts on the table and then move on to the next part of their day.

They experience animal dissection at a very young age. Of course, being as old as dirt, I remember an elementary teacher bringing in a cow’s eye for us to examine. I wonder how many trauma counselors would be needed for that today? Back to Denmark, nearly everyone goes to public school. They are not pushed to be geniuses nor pulled out to become pro athletes. They get on with it.

College is free, but first there is Folk School–a unique Danish institution in which “folk” subjects are taught–culture, songs, and getting along. It’s a big deal. So big a deal that the Danes were even pretty happy during COVID because they joined in through windows and wide open spaces and sang the songs from Folk School song book every evening! They all knew the same songs!

Kids of all ages are free. Ride your bike to school? Of course! A Mommy following behind in a car like they’d do here? No way! They just…ride…to school. That’s it. No one freaks out.
My Thoughts

The author is an British expat living in Denmark but she was able to make this book very relatable to American parents. Her first book was the best-selling A Year of Living Danishly.

I sigh with longing for this style of life. I remember my minister’s wife, our school nurse, coming and saying she sadly had to have an explanation for the marks on my kid’s arm. She knew us. Knew there was no abuse. Knew that my son spent as much time in the woods and cornfields surround our house as he could. Nature heals trauma–I moved there so he could have that. In Denmark, if anyone noticed they’d likely have asked if he’d built a fort or found any cool birds nests! [They do, of course, have laws and mechanisms for preventing or dealing with child abuse–I’m not making light of that].

Of course all of this is possible because until recently they were a nearly homogeneous society. We aren’t like that here so it is comparing apples to dump trucks. I only wish we could have some of this sanity. If you live across the street from the school here, you either still have to get on a bus or your parents must drive your or MAYBE a parent can help you cross the street. Insane. A child here riding a bike alone is seen as a problem–even when they are obeying the rules of the road, riding a properly sized bike with any locally mandated safety gear. Sanity. We need sanity.
My Verdict
4.0

The Danish Secret to Happy Kids by Helen Russell, arrives July 9, but can be preordered.

Such a fun book! I read the Kindle version.

[Robyn]

so promising and up my alley (travelogue/memoir/parenting/Nordic culture) but after two chapters I didn't connect with the writing style or the author

[Ashley · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNFed after getting a quarter of the way through it.

This book was way too political for my liking. The author contradicted herself several times throughout the first quarter of the book so I doubt she stopped. Some examples - high rate of equality except because the “birthing parent” 🙄 takes so much free maternity leave they actually don’t… and because the mother usually takes care of their sick kids there’s a pay gap so the solution is to provide forced paternity leave so the mother can work. Except what about the entire chapter where she talks about all the women choosing to raise purposely fatherless children. The author cites studies and personal anecdotes to say that children growing up without biologically related moms or dads fare just as well when there are quite a few studies that say otherwise. The author says that everyone puts their kids in daycare and it’s seen as abusive to not yet stay home with your kids if you want to… there’s just no benefit and it’s actually cruel. But then she says that if she’s going to put her child in daycare - more waking hours have to be spent in her presence. Which one is it? Women are also apparently are hammering to go back into the workforce after giving birth, yet it sounds more like the government is actually the one trying to get women back in the workforce so they can get more tax revenue. Haha. Like, I’m sorry. And oh, daycare is supposedly so great but actually it’s not because it’s becoming more goal-centric and the staff-child ratio is lessening.

Overall, I agree with a few of the points I came across. Play should be a child’s main occupation until age 6. Children should be outside as much as possible - there’s no such thing as bad weather. I think that parents should have a village helping them.

It’s not surprising I have so many qualms with this book. We have VASTLY different worldviews.

[Dina Roberts · Rating 5 out of 5]

I actually still need to finish reading the bonus chapter, so I’m kind of writing this prematurely. But I feel inspired to write down my thoughts now.

I love this book. It gives me a lot of mixed feelings; the predominant one being disgruntled about not being a child and/or parent in Denmark.

I listened to one or two chapters that made me feel I have failed as a parent; not just by raising my child in the USA. But also by the things I didn’t do or didn’t do enough.

Other chapters made me feel proud… satisfied. Validated. Because I found myself realizing that the Danish way of things fit in with our parenting philosophy.

There were parts of the book that made me think I would struggle to fit in there.

The main one being…..

As an autistic person who finds winter clothes very uncomfortable…. There DEFINITELY is a such thing as bad weather.

And as a person who rarely drinks and has a vomit phobia, the idea of seeing crowds of teenagers drunk and vomiting all over…. Well, yikes.

For people like me who have grown to hate parenting books… who see such books as being 10 percent helpful and 90 percent toxic…

This book is less a parenting guide and more a kind of anthropological -culture shock-comedy book.

I highly recommend it to anyone who loves armchair traveling. And I guess I’d also recommend it to Danish people who want to feel smug.

[Meg (thyme.for.books) · Rating 2 out of 5]

The overall mood of this book is so off-putting. The chapters are written in a somewhat anecdotal manner. The author describes her experiences in raising her three children in Denmark but seems to hate every second of it. At the end of each chapter there is a short run down of the main things she learns about each stage of child development and even that comes across negatively.

I was expecting a parenting book with a positive outlook on how the people of Denmark raise their children but this comes across as the opposite of that. It’s really just a biographical account of the author’s time in Denmark while her children were growing up.

I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[Julia Shelburne · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book discusses Scandinavian styles of parenting through statistics, interviews, and anecdotes. I learned quite a bit about the Danish culture and will add some ideas to my own parenting toolbox.

Thank you NetGalley and Sourcebooks for this advanced copy. All opinions are my own.

[Cat · Rating 4 out of 5]

True rating: probably 3.5 stars, an enjoyable read but did have criticisms and not sure if I'd recommend unless one is already interested.

To be clear: there is no secret, and Helen Russell's discoveries are the result of having lived in Denmark and raising three kids in a Danish environment, and learning all the eccentricities of a "Viking upbringing" along the way. It can make one a little wistful or frustrated - it's no secret that American childcare is horrifyingly hard, that it seems almost maniacal-laughter funny there are things like popularly taken parental leave and subsidized childcare. There are cooler tidbits that have inspired me like junk playgrounds and trying to spend more time outdoors, because there's no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing (I do not fully agree but agree that my hiking excursions would probably be helped by actual base layers), and it's always nice to get more cultural background like saunas and summer holidays.

I did appreciate that Russell isn't wholly buying into the Viking lifestyle and has her moments of skepticism, like when she addresses the high rate of screentime use vs. the supposed Viking way of encouraging solo and outdoor play. I would have been interested to see if there were things that she thought she brought as a Brit into living Danishly, or "secrets" that people could take from her book into aspects of their life without ostensibly moving to Denmark themselves. I would have also been interested to hear from her children themselves - it's certainly a powerful moment when she describes her mother as describing her children as "nice and interesting", but I would have been interested to know if the kids are aware of the things that they've picked up.

This overall work isn't really a parenting book as much as it is a partial memoir, which confused me slightly since she has already written a book in a similar vein, though maybe not as parenting focused? (The Year of Living Danishly) I appreciated the author narrating the book, but her sense of humor is dry and likely not for everyone (saw another review saying that she seemed very negative about her experience and I disagree, so wanted to mention it). It took a little bit but I did find portions humorous and enjoyed the way she shows snippets of her life in all its chaos. Overall, enjoyable listen and definitely Much to Think About. I read it alongside Positive Parenting and found that the books echoed each other often.

But personally, I would really like to not hear the words Viking or Danishly again for a very long time.

[Kristen · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Danish Secrets to Happy Kids was a really fascinating read to me! As a newer-mom with ancestry relating back to the Danish and Norwegian I’ve always wanted to visit Denmark, and learn more about the Danish and TDSTHK has really increased my intrigue!!

I took my time with this book, there are TONS of facts and statistics drawn to support the authors first-hand experience. The author shared that her partner is Danish but she was raised elsewhere so she has a unique viewpoint to capture her experiences.

The book was well-written and easy to follow. I am a mom and always itching to learn more about raising my daughter and different viewpoints, but I don’t always have a lot of time, so I appreciated the chapter summaries at the end of each chapter as well.

Thank you very much for the arc NetGalley and Sourcebook publishers, all thoughts and opinions are mine.

[Marissa Ferro · Rating 3 out of 5]

Unfortunately, but not surprisingly, the “secret” is a strong social safety net, and therefore a society that ensures that most of material and emotional needs of children can be met. Which means much of this book is light on practical information for non-Danish families, although it is inspiring to learn what a better world looks like. The second half contains a lot more replicable advice for the day to day, which is where the book begins to shine. And of course, Russell’s pithy writing style and perfect-for-audio voice makes for an overall fun read.

[Courtney Denker · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was such a rollercoaster. Each chapter would start so strong (prioritizing play, spending time outside, having a stable family unit, taking calculated risks) and then a few sentences in, would plummet into the wild unknown (lack of structure, avoidance of boundaries, early drinking culture, and don’t get me started on their view on pornography). I had such high hopes for this book, but while I took a few great nuggets, like The 4 Types of Play, I honestly couldn’t finish this book fast enough!

1.5 stars

[Lacey Parr · Rating 4 out of 5]

Delightful! I appreciated her perspective as an in-progress parent, doing her best to learn from her adopted culture. I learned a lot I want to replicate and some I don’t. A great contrast to other books about parenting in Scandinavia which can seem more prescriptive. Also appreciated her emphasis on and explanation of Denmark’s social programs, which are truly the foundation of a secure and happy childhood there.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was spectacular. Incredibly informative with lots of statistics without boring me. The author was funny and I loved her self-deprecating humor. I think I could read books about parenting styles across the world as my pastime. I reread Bringing Up Bebe earlier this year and I think it’s evident that other cultures value children and childhood much more than in USA. I really appreciate the schooling approach in Denmark as well as the childcare. So many interesting concepts that would be much easier to implement if we lived in a society that believes children are important.

[Joy Kirr · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really liked this book, and I'm so glad it was on the challenge to "read around the world." Sadly (only because I can't), I'd love to move to Denmark!! I took lots of notes, too, as so many ideas were good to share with my seventh graders. Ex: Samfundssind = community mindset meant doing something that isn’t necessarily best for you but for the sake of others. For the greater good.

[Emma Massey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bye moving to Denmark!

[Riley Chador · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was interesting but not at all helpful.

[Cami · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF.
I’ll save you the trouble of reading the book—the Danish secret to raising happy kids? Move to Denmark (or some other Nordic country). The author spends a fair amount of time in this book explaining how the Danes (Swedes, etc) have captured lightning in a bottle, detailing how decades (hundreds? thousands?) of years of history and a very specific environment in Northern Europe have created this near-perfect cultural incubator for happy children. While I don’t disagree that everyone should have free or low-cost childcare and healthcare, a livable wage, clean air and water, safe public places, trust and camaraderie with their fellow countrymen and a sense of autonomy/purpose, unfortunately that’s just not achievable on a large scale outside of the cultural context of the Nordic countries. With a cumulative population of less than one-tenth of the U.S. that is largely homogeneous (in terms of ethnicity, language, religion etc) within each country, it is laughable to suggest that the norms and practices of Danish parents (Nordic people in general?) are replicable outside of the very specific conditions which birthed them (pun intended). Case in point? The author describes a story where a Danish woman left her sleeping baby outside in the pram (as is the cultural norm in Denmark) in the winter in NYC…and was quickly charged with child endangerment.
I can appreciate a good case study (I studied anthropology at university), but I think the title is misleading here—the author isn’t so much writing a cultural exposé as an OpEd, which (if my previous commentary didn’t already give it away) fell flat for me. I also agree with other reviewers who said that the tone didn’t work for them. Interesting that the author was an editor for Marie Claire as it does read similarly to a magazine article…
In conclusion, I am inclined to wonder why an English woman was paid to write a book about Danish parenting? And if that’s not the purpose of this book, then I must ask if another fly-on-the-wall commentary on how awesome Danish parenting culture is was really necessary in 2024.

[Puff · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was heading back to read my copy of "there's no such thing as bad weather" when I stumbled across this book on Netgalley. I am SO glad that I did. This book is very different than "bad weather" even though both are on parenting the Nordic way. I've long been interested in the anti-individualistic lifestyle/politics/child rearing in Sweden and loved learning so much more about the Danish lifestyle. It seems to be "on trend" for Canadians (where I live) to cherry pick the cute things like hygge and spending 1000 hours out doors (guilty and learning) and refocusing them still to be..about protecting our kids from the rest of the world. The entirety of Danish culture is centered around community, trust, and dare, I say, being ok with taxes supporting those around them to create a happier, healthier culture for our kids. There are 16 pages of sources (backed up information!) That dives into the beauty of public education- when moms and dads are treated and supported as equal caregivers and so many other topics that really push back on ideas being pushed on parents in the west today. It was interesting to note how respect develops, between parents, teachers and children, the lack of body shame and fear in the population, and how women are a much more cohesive group when it comes to their rights. There is a huge push for tradlife here that fancies itself with some of these Danish ideas but misses the community and good for all aspects so much that this book shows are at the heart of Danes. Excellent read.

[Erica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you Sourcebooks and NetGalley for an advanced digital copy in exchange for my honest review. What a fun, engaging, and thought-provoking read. I love the topics presented in each chapter, the thorough research conducted, and the accessible manner in which it was all presented. I find a lot of parenting books are, as usually intended, trying to convince you to follow their ideas. I loved the relatable way Russell often turned around these ideas in her head instead of simply accepting them at face-value. That really led me to think critically about what I was reading, which was so enjoyable in a non-fiction read. I found myself making so many highlights and engaging in great discussions with family based on some ideas in this book. I would love to own a copy and revisit in the future as my daughter grows older. I would also highly recommend this to readers who may be intimidated by non-fiction because Russell has such an accessible and fun writing style. Overall a great balance between thought-provoking and just plain fun. 5 ⭐️

[bella (bellasbookreads) · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5/5 stars, rounded up to 4. This book was a fun read. Instead of being advice driven, it was more like a big conversation about Danish traditions and norms. Read like a memoir. There was more explicit language than I would expect out of a parenting book. Not outrageous amounts, but more than I would like. My favorite part was the summaries at the end of the chapters! The narration was a little odd sometimes and I think some parts could have been cut (it felt a tad long to me). However, I did enjoy this book and had fun reading about different parenting styles. I would recommend if you want a fun read about Danish parenting, but know that it doesn’t take itself super seriously either.
Thank you NetGalley for the ARC! All opinions are my own.

[Kelsey Ryan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed reading this book. I grew up cross-culturally from 4-16 so I’m sure my parents could constantly relate to the author as they raised 4 daughters in France. I was not as familiar with Danish culture but I found it absolutely fascinating. There were often times that I was laughing like the sledding scene. It felt like it dragged a bit towards the end.

I didn’t care for the last chapter after the epilogue. Overall though I recommend reading it. I got this book for free, I’m not too sure if I would personally buy it, but I have already told friends about it and they seem interested to read it.

[Nikachu2 · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a crazy change in expectation for this book. I expected a knock-off of “Little Book of Hygge” or “There’s No Such Thing As Bad Weather” but this book shocked me. It was a hilariously touching memoir that has little nuggets of parenting advice that finally isn’t a book that feels like it’s yelling at you. Sometimes you just need some cozy parenting conventions where you commiserate and look for hope together, and that’s exactly what this book is. I will be recommending this book for years to come