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A Arte de Ler Mentes: Como interpertar gestos e influenciar pessoas sem que elas percebam
Leitura da mente não é um mito, e nem é mais misterioso do que entender o que alguém está dizendo ao falar conosco. E este livro tem tudo o que você precisa saber para se tornar um especialista em leitura da mente. Usando habilidades como comunicação não-verbal, linguagem corporal e influência psicológica, podemos descobrir o que a outra pessoa pensa e sente e, assim, controlar seus pensamentos e crenças da maneira que quisermos. O autor introduz uma nova forma de fazer leitura da mente que você poderá colocar em prática em todos os aspectos da sua vida diária, como entrevistas de emprego, em um primeiro encontro, para fazer propostas ao seu chefe, e em todas as situações sociais em que você desejar influenciar outras pessoas.
286 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2007
976 people are currently reading
7986 people want to read
About the author
Henrik Fexeus
30 books124 followersHenrik Fexeus is a Swedish mentalist, author and TV-host. Since 2005 he is a frequent guest, as expert on body language and non-verbal communication, in television and newspapers including for Expressen at the Swedish Crown Princess Victoria's wedding and for Aftonbladet during the US SuperTuesday 2016.
Henrik has a BA in Philosophy from Stockholm University and has worked in communications and marketing.
Fexeus has written seven books on practical psychology and influence. His first book, The art of reading minds, was released in 2007 by Forum Bokförlag. In 2010, it received the Pocket Platinum sales award. His second book, When you do what I want, was released in 2008 and received in 2010 the Pocket Gold award.
As of 2019, his books have been translated into over 30 languages, including Chinese, Romanian, Russian, Japanese and Portuguese. Fexeus books have sold more than a million copies worldwide. Since 2019 he is published by St. Martin's Press in USA and by Hodder & Stoughton in the UK.
Henrik has a BA in Philosophy from Stockholm University and has worked in communications and marketing.
Fexeus has written seven books on practical psychology and influence. His first book, The art of reading minds, was released in 2007 by Forum Bokförlag. In 2010, it received the Pocket Platinum sales award. His second book, When you do what I want, was released in 2008 and received in 2010 the Pocket Gold award.
As of 2019, his books have been translated into over 30 languages, including Chinese, Romanian, Russian, Japanese and Portuguese. Fexeus books have sold more than a million copies worldwide. Since 2019 he is published by St. Martin's Press in USA and by Hodder & Stoughton in the UK.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 233 reviews
March 3, 2022
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Genre: Nonfiction
Book Structure:
The book is around 256 pages divided into 12 chapters. The chapters' lengths are short and suitable for the genre. The author has also included the references he has used in writing his book.
What is it about?
It is about mind reading. I was very curious to know what this book will talk about hence I decided to read and see what it will offer in this area. The first thing the reader has to understand is that the book says nothing new that has not been saying before as the author suggests. What he means here is that he did not invent something where you can read the minds of other people. There is even a word of warning where the author clearly suggests not to take the contents of this book as objectively true. However, he will teach you techniques that will make things more interesting if you follow them.
"Whatever happens to our bodies affects our mental process"
That is the first important concept to understand that our emotions and thoughts not just happen in our minds but also happen in the whole of our bodies. In other words, if something happens to our bodies, it affects our thoughts too. So the concept that the author wants you to understand at the beginning of the book is that you can understand other people's mental processes & thoughts by observing their physical movements, reactions, and features. It makes sense. We all do this already but it is unconsciously as the author suggests we can get better at it if we correctly interpret the body language of others in different situations.
I found also the chapters that talk about rapport building very important. This is something one needs in his daily life. Meeting other people at work or going anywhere to a shop, bank, hospital, etc needs you how to deal with other people. If you want your things to be done smoothly rapport building is a crucial thing. He talks about techniques like matching and mirroring, be it with body movements or how to do that with your voice in different ways or even with your breathing rhythm! The whole concept behind this is that you will put yourself in the same shoe as the other person you are communicating with, this will help in getting you both into an agreement or reach a good conclusion.
"The easiest way to plant an anchor in somebody is to wait until he or she is in the emotional state you're after"
The later chapters discuss anchors, the things that trigger the emotional reactions to a memory. This could be anything tangible like a sweater that reminds you of your grandmother, or a place that reminds you of a certain situation and triggers a specific emotion. The whole thing lets you understand how and why planting an anchor is important to achieve the goal.
The book also has pictures to make you have a better understanding of body language like how to read someone from his legs movements or to understand someone's thoughts or emotions from the facial expressions. There is also how to read fake expressions with some fun exercises.
I will personally use and practice some of the techniques suggested here to see how they will affect my daily life. I feel everybody will get something if not everything from these techniques. The language of the book is simple and easy to understand so it should suit a wide range of readers. It is an informative and enjoyable book to read at the same time hence I'm giving it 4 strong stars out of 5. The book is going to be released on October 15th, 2019.
Many thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for providing me a free advanced reading copy (ARC) in return for this honest and unbiased review.
Genre: Nonfiction
Book Structure:
The book is around 256 pages divided into 12 chapters. The chapters' lengths are short and suitable for the genre. The author has also included the references he has used in writing his book.
What is it about?
It is about mind reading. I was very curious to know what this book will talk about hence I decided to read and see what it will offer in this area. The first thing the reader has to understand is that the book says nothing new that has not been saying before as the author suggests. What he means here is that he did not invent something where you can read the minds of other people. There is even a word of warning where the author clearly suggests not to take the contents of this book as objectively true. However, he will teach you techniques that will make things more interesting if you follow them.
"Whatever happens to our bodies affects our mental process"
That is the first important concept to understand that our emotions and thoughts not just happen in our minds but also happen in the whole of our bodies. In other words, if something happens to our bodies, it affects our thoughts too. So the concept that the author wants you to understand at the beginning of the book is that you can understand other people's mental processes & thoughts by observing their physical movements, reactions, and features. It makes sense. We all do this already but it is unconsciously as the author suggests we can get better at it if we correctly interpret the body language of others in different situations.
I found also the chapters that talk about rapport building very important. This is something one needs in his daily life. Meeting other people at work or going anywhere to a shop, bank, hospital, etc needs you how to deal with other people. If you want your things to be done smoothly rapport building is a crucial thing. He talks about techniques like matching and mirroring, be it with body movements or how to do that with your voice in different ways or even with your breathing rhythm! The whole concept behind this is that you will put yourself in the same shoe as the other person you are communicating with, this will help in getting you both into an agreement or reach a good conclusion.
"The easiest way to plant an anchor in somebody is to wait until he or she is in the emotional state you're after"
The later chapters discuss anchors, the things that trigger the emotional reactions to a memory. This could be anything tangible like a sweater that reminds you of your grandmother, or a place that reminds you of a certain situation and triggers a specific emotion. The whole thing lets you understand how and why planting an anchor is important to achieve the goal.
The book also has pictures to make you have a better understanding of body language like how to read someone from his legs movements or to understand someone's thoughts or emotions from the facial expressions. There is also how to read fake expressions with some fun exercises.
I will personally use and practice some of the techniques suggested here to see how they will affect my daily life. I feel everybody will get something if not everything from these techniques. The language of the book is simple and easy to understand so it should suit a wide range of readers. It is an informative and enjoyable book to read at the same time hence I'm giving it 4 strong stars out of 5. The book is going to be released on October 15th, 2019.
Many thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for providing me a free advanced reading copy (ARC) in return for this honest and unbiased review.
October 13, 2019
Many people fail to realise that there is so much more you can pick up on when communicating with someone face to face than merely the words spoken; we give out a whole host of non-verbal information and provided you know what to look out for and how to assess the cues correctly it can be very helpful. It especially comes in handy when, like me, you often have a problem believing or trusting the words others say; by analysing the body language alongside the verbal communication you can very accurately whey all of this up.
One of the aspects I think many will appreciate is that although written by acclaimed mentalist, expert on body language and non-verbal communication Henrik Fexeus it is written in a highly accessible and conversational style and would work perfectly as an introduction to the topic as no prior knowledge is required in order to gain a good understanding of the ins and outs discussed here.
Originally published in his native Sweden in 2007, The Art of Reading Minds is divided into twelve short, pithy chapters. They are as follows: Mind Reading!?; Rapport; Rapport in Practice; Senses and Thinking; Emotions; It's Never Too Late; Be a Human Lie Detector; The Unconscious Pickup Artist; Look Deep into my Eyes; Haul Anchors; Show Off, and Mind Reading!!
It focuses on how understanding the signals people unknowingly emit can lead to a much more profound understanding of others and how to influence their behaviour. The way it is written allows you to dip in and out at will and the tips and tricks were fun as well as illustrating the point the author was trying to make. This is an informative and utterly fascinating book and one I highly recommend. Many thanks to St Martin's Essentials for an ARC.
One of the aspects I think many will appreciate is that although written by acclaimed mentalist, expert on body language and non-verbal communication Henrik Fexeus it is written in a highly accessible and conversational style and would work perfectly as an introduction to the topic as no prior knowledge is required in order to gain a good understanding of the ins and outs discussed here.
Originally published in his native Sweden in 2007, The Art of Reading Minds is divided into twelve short, pithy chapters. They are as follows: Mind Reading!?; Rapport; Rapport in Practice; Senses and Thinking; Emotions; It's Never Too Late; Be a Human Lie Detector; The Unconscious Pickup Artist; Look Deep into my Eyes; Haul Anchors; Show Off, and Mind Reading!!
It focuses on how understanding the signals people unknowingly emit can lead to a much more profound understanding of others and how to influence their behaviour. The way it is written allows you to dip in and out at will and the tips and tricks were fun as well as illustrating the point the author was trying to make. This is an informative and utterly fascinating book and one I highly recommend. Many thanks to St Martin's Essentials for an ARC.
December 14, 2022
ببساطة لم يعجبني فهو يتناول منظور قراءة العقول من زاوية ضيقة جدا ومتوقعة مثل ملاحظة تعبيرات الوجه وحركة العينين والعضلات وهذا امل لم اتوقعه كما لا يو اي معلومة فالكتاب لم اكن اعلم بها
ظننت انه ستناول فهم العقول من خلال فهم الكلام والشخصيات وقراءة المواقف بشكل مختلف لكن الكتاب احبطني جدا
ايضا الترجمة لم تكن جيدة مما جعله ممل جدا بالنسبة لي واخذت وقت اطول من اللازم في قراءته
ظننت انه ستناول فهم العقول من خلال فهم الكلام والشخصيات وقراءة المواقف بشكل مختلف لكن الكتاب احبطني جدا
ايضا الترجمة لم تكن جيدة مما جعله ممل جدا بالنسبة لي واخذت وقت اطول من اللازم في قراءته
June 29, 2019
A thousand thanks to NetGalley and St. Martin’s press for the chance to read this, in exchange for an honest review.
Okay... admittedly, I generally pride myself on being perceptive, a good conversationalist, and intent listener, but this book showed me ways in which I could achieve more. And that’s really what it’s here to do: to help you communicate well (or better!).
I actually find body language and non-verbal communication fascinating, so I ate up every word the author, Henrik Fexeus, wrote. The power of words: what we say, how we say it, who were saying it to... everything is a variable, and everything can be used to “read” someone. I read a book a while ago called Lexicon by Max Barry, which took more of a Science Fiction approach to a parallel concept: that you could use words in a certain way to influence someone. I mean, I’ll admit that I’ve done it before (never for nefarious or immoral reasons!), but testing different tones of voice, or experimenting with higher/lower energies (mimicking whoever you’re speaking with), to see if my conversation partner matches it, and it works! I can steer a conversation in a certain direction by triggering a particular word or phrases. So, yes, I was invested in Mr. Fexeus’ book from the get-go.
I just found it really cool and insightful, on the whole.
Okay... admittedly, I generally pride myself on being perceptive, a good conversationalist, and intent listener, but this book showed me ways in which I could achieve more. And that’s really what it’s here to do: to help you communicate well (or better!).
I actually find body language and non-verbal communication fascinating, so I ate up every word the author, Henrik Fexeus, wrote. The power of words: what we say, how we say it, who were saying it to... everything is a variable, and everything can be used to “read” someone. I read a book a while ago called Lexicon by Max Barry, which took more of a Science Fiction approach to a parallel concept: that you could use words in a certain way to influence someone. I mean, I’ll admit that I’ve done it before (never for nefarious or immoral reasons!), but testing different tones of voice, or experimenting with higher/lower energies (mimicking whoever you’re speaking with), to see if my conversation partner matches it, and it works! I can steer a conversation in a certain direction by triggering a particular word or phrases. So, yes, I was invested in Mr. Fexeus’ book from the get-go.
I just found it really cool and insightful, on the whole.
June 20, 2025
Nu e o carte despre magie si woodoo, pur si simplu Iti arata ca poti intui multe lucruri doar urmarind si observand persoana din fata ta.
Interesanta lectura.
Interesanta lectura.
August 11, 2011
Mirror the other person. Pay attention to the facial features. There you go, a summary of a book. It's psychology 101 and common sense stuff. You are already doing it, the book just reminds you that you are doing it. In a not so interesting fashion.
August 13, 2019
This isn’t a book about telepathy, clairvoyance, or any other form of ESP. It’s a book about nonverbal communication, and how to use it to both recognize the true mental and emotional states of others and to be able to influence said states. It draws on a range of findings and approaches, including those of Paul Ekman, NLP (neuro-linguistic programming), Robert Caldini, and Antonio Damasio.
The book consists of twelve chapters. The first clarifies the nature of the “mind reading” under discussion. Chapters two and three propose how both nonverbal and verbal communication can be used to build rapport. A lot of the rapport-building chapters are about how one can subtly mirror another so as to create an impression of kindredness without freaking the other person out or seeming like one is mocking them. Chapter four investigates the role of perception in the processes presented throughout the book.
Chapter five explores emotions. Of course, any “mind reading” of value must capture not only thoughts, but how the individual feels about (and as a result of) said thoughts. Paul Ekman’s work on “leakage” is central to this topic. Ekman discovered that even when people are successful in covering expressions of their true feelings with either a poker-face or another emotional expression, they often made extremely brief “micro-expressions” of their true feelings.
Chapter six discusses the ethics and morality of this topic. The active exploitation of nonverbal communication can bear the stink of being manipulative, and that necessitates consideration of how such activities can blow up in one’s face.
Chapter seven is about “lie detection” and the truth and myth of this topic. One thing I liked about this book is that the author is quite forthcoming about the limited support for some of the ideas that are conveyed, as well as the limitations of what these tools can do for one. Many authors of this type of work suggest that these tactics are iron-clad science, which isn’t the case. The most controversial of these approaches is NLP. Neuro-Linguistic Programming has an extremely stalwart following among many people ranging from salespeople to therapists. However, NLP has not fared well when subjected to scientific investigation. NLP supporters suggest this is because investigators are fighting a straw man by considering oversimplified claims that were never made by Bandler and Grinder (the NLP founders.) As an example, NLP claims that a person will tend to look one direction when remembering and another when imagining. Some within the NLP suggest this is the basis of lie detection (if a respondent looks as though they are imagining versus recalling, they must be involved in a fabrication.)
Chapter eight delves into the body language of flirting, and educates the reader about how they might be flirting (or being flirted with) without even recognizing it. Chapter nine explores suggestibility and many of ideas that are presented are from hypnosis, though the author isn’t explicitly teaching hypnosis.
Chapter ten is entitled “Haul Anchors” and it suggests that one can act in certain ways to trigger desired emotional states in another person. The penultimate chapter is about mentalist party tricks that one can use to convince oneself and others of one’s abilities, and the last chapter is a conclusion and wrap-up.
The book offers a references section, and includes many graphics (particularly black and white photos and diagrams) as necessary to convey examples. Needless to say, a picture is often worth a thousand words when dealing with nonverbal communication.
While I’m skeptical about using some of the approaches presented in this book as the basis of one’s behavior, I appreciate that the author is forthcoming about what is controversial and what is well-supported. Fexeus takes the view that one should try it out for oneself, and draw one’s own conclusions. I also think the inclusion of an ethical discussion is essential as many of these books come off as kind of creepy – not to mention overblown. If you’re looking for a book on nonverbal communication, rapport-building, and persuasion, this one does a fine job.
The book consists of twelve chapters. The first clarifies the nature of the “mind reading” under discussion. Chapters two and three propose how both nonverbal and verbal communication can be used to build rapport. A lot of the rapport-building chapters are about how one can subtly mirror another so as to create an impression of kindredness without freaking the other person out or seeming like one is mocking them. Chapter four investigates the role of perception in the processes presented throughout the book.
Chapter five explores emotions. Of course, any “mind reading” of value must capture not only thoughts, but how the individual feels about (and as a result of) said thoughts. Paul Ekman’s work on “leakage” is central to this topic. Ekman discovered that even when people are successful in covering expressions of their true feelings with either a poker-face or another emotional expression, they often made extremely brief “micro-expressions” of their true feelings.
Chapter six discusses the ethics and morality of this topic. The active exploitation of nonverbal communication can bear the stink of being manipulative, and that necessitates consideration of how such activities can blow up in one’s face.
Chapter seven is about “lie detection” and the truth and myth of this topic. One thing I liked about this book is that the author is quite forthcoming about the limited support for some of the ideas that are conveyed, as well as the limitations of what these tools can do for one. Many authors of this type of work suggest that these tactics are iron-clad science, which isn’t the case. The most controversial of these approaches is NLP. Neuro-Linguistic Programming has an extremely stalwart following among many people ranging from salespeople to therapists. However, NLP has not fared well when subjected to scientific investigation. NLP supporters suggest this is because investigators are fighting a straw man by considering oversimplified claims that were never made by Bandler and Grinder (the NLP founders.) As an example, NLP claims that a person will tend to look one direction when remembering and another when imagining. Some within the NLP suggest this is the basis of lie detection (if a respondent looks as though they are imagining versus recalling, they must be involved in a fabrication.)
Chapter eight delves into the body language of flirting, and educates the reader about how they might be flirting (or being flirted with) without even recognizing it. Chapter nine explores suggestibility and many of ideas that are presented are from hypnosis, though the author isn’t explicitly teaching hypnosis.
Chapter ten is entitled “Haul Anchors” and it suggests that one can act in certain ways to trigger desired emotional states in another person. The penultimate chapter is about mentalist party tricks that one can use to convince oneself and others of one’s abilities, and the last chapter is a conclusion and wrap-up.
The book offers a references section, and includes many graphics (particularly black and white photos and diagrams) as necessary to convey examples. Needless to say, a picture is often worth a thousand words when dealing with nonverbal communication.
While I’m skeptical about using some of the approaches presented in this book as the basis of one’s behavior, I appreciate that the author is forthcoming about what is controversial and what is well-supported. Fexeus takes the view that one should try it out for oneself, and draw one’s own conclusions. I also think the inclusion of an ethical discussion is essential as many of these books come off as kind of creepy – not to mention overblown. If you’re looking for a book on nonverbal communication, rapport-building, and persuasion, this one does a fine job.
December 16, 2019
A well-written and insightful guide that helps one become aware of clues people may be giving you about their attitudes, emotions and so on without realizing it. Also, about what you may be unconsciously conveying. It's not really about reading minds so much as just being more attuned to interactions. As a writer I must say that I found the author's detailed considerations to be extremely useful for my own character building and scene setting. I recommend this as a must-read for fiction writers and a should read for everybody else. You'll be surprised at what's right out there in front of you! #WritingCommunity
December 13, 2019
Watch “lie to me”. Much more entertaining and illuminating. Mostly about observing people. More difficult in practice.
November 8, 2024
Mostly fluff and unreliable, unreplicable research.
Boils down to pay attention to people and make an effort to really understand them.
Boils down to pay attention to people and make an effort to really understand them.
June 26, 2013
A book I'm definitely going to read again.
August 5, 2025
I have a strong belief in free choice and self-determination of other people. Ever since I was a little girl I've preferred to leave people and companies where I was unwanted, let people make their own decisions and stick to them, not pry into their affairs.
Then how come I'm reading something with the slimy subtitle of "Understand Others to Get What You Want"?
Well, I don't know if it's just me, or everyone has the same issue, but I've always had real trouble discerning the intentions of a person when their words and actions don't match.
For example, a person's entire body language will tell me that they hate my presence - but if I ask about it, it will be vehemently denied, if I leave, I will get a message that the person is crying because I apparently think they're a monster, and if I stay, I will have to endure micro (or macro) aggressions toward me. An impossible situation, but I've had too many of these, as well as misunderstandings that were directly my fault.
That's what I hoped this book would illuminate, and it did only partially. There were chapters on recognizing facial and body postures, but I'd say with no more detail than what most people already know (raised eyebrows = surprise), but it was useful to see it systematically put together and broken down into pieces. This is most definitely a practical guide, as the author gives concrete advice on how to navigate conversations, other people's emotions, and how to come across more likeable. Interestingly, a lot of the things covered here I already knew from my dog training days. We are all just mammals after all.
What it lacked for me was a more thorough look at the available scientific literature. Henrik Fexeus, as I understand, is a magician of the 'pulling rabbits out of hats' kind, and also a celebrity body language expert. He has a bachelor's degree, but he's not a scientist and he does not read scientific literature.
I know this because he kept citing Darwin and sometimes Freud, which always signifies to me that a person cannot keep up with modern science. Darwin is more than outdated, his works are a historical curiosity and in these days have no value as scientific documents. They do not belong in non-historical conversations. And on the flip-side, I noticed that he mentioned not understanding how a modern study came to its conclusions - which means you probably only read the conclusions and not the methods, results and discussion.
Overall, I think this is a good reading material for anyone really struggling to connect to other people and understand them. I for one will definitely observe the people around me much more closely.
Then how come I'm reading something with the slimy subtitle of "Understand Others to Get What You Want"?
Well, I don't know if it's just me, or everyone has the same issue, but I've always had real trouble discerning the intentions of a person when their words and actions don't match.
For example, a person's entire body language will tell me that they hate my presence - but if I ask about it, it will be vehemently denied, if I leave, I will get a message that the person is crying because I apparently think they're a monster, and if I stay, I will have to endure micro (or macro) aggressions toward me. An impossible situation, but I've had too many of these, as well as misunderstandings that were directly my fault.
That's what I hoped this book would illuminate, and it did only partially. There were chapters on recognizing facial and body postures, but I'd say with no more detail than what most people already know (raised eyebrows = surprise), but it was useful to see it systematically put together and broken down into pieces. This is most definitely a practical guide, as the author gives concrete advice on how to navigate conversations, other people's emotions, and how to come across more likeable. Interestingly, a lot of the things covered here I already knew from my dog training days. We are all just mammals after all.
What it lacked for me was a more thorough look at the available scientific literature. Henrik Fexeus, as I understand, is a magician of the 'pulling rabbits out of hats' kind, and also a celebrity body language expert. He has a bachelor's degree, but he's not a scientist and he does not read scientific literature.
I know this because he kept citing Darwin and sometimes Freud, which always signifies to me that a person cannot keep up with modern science. Darwin is more than outdated, his works are a historical curiosity and in these days have no value as scientific documents. They do not belong in non-historical conversations. And on the flip-side, I noticed that he mentioned not understanding how a modern study came to its conclusions - which means you probably only read the conclusions and not the methods, results and discussion.
Overall, I think this is a good reading material for anyone really struggling to connect to other people and understand them. I for one will definitely observe the people around me much more closely.
October 18, 2019
The Art of Reading Minds isn’t actually about reading minds. It’s about observing other people’s body language closely to notice their “tells.” Author Henrik Fexeus offers a variety of ways to do this—though, surprisingly, since a big part of reading others is building a rapport with them first, he spends almost the entire first half of the book discussing ways to get people to feel connected to you, to see you like you’ve always been good buddies. Usually this involves mimicking their behavior in some way. For example, matching their energy level, using their favorite buzzwords, or finding a way to agree with them (“I’d think the same thing if I were you!”).
But once the other person feels camaraderie with you, the real mind reading begins. Collect bits and pieces of info by observing gestures, posture, eye movements, voice changes, physical contact, and, of course, language. While one piece of information can’t tell you everything you need to know about the person, taken together can you get a pretty good idea if someone is lying to you, flirting with you, hiding a secret, etc.
Fexeus ends with, what can only be described as, party tricks. He teaches you how to read people’s subtle movements, so that you can eventually tell who that person is thinking about, who she loves, who he dislikes, etc., just by asking a few questions and watching for the physical clues that follow. It’s pretty cool stuff.
It took me a bit to get through this book, but it was still very interesting and informative. I sure would love to see the TED talk version, though. Just sayin. :)
Thank you to Net Galley and St. Martin's Press for the ARC! See more of my book reviews at www.bugbugbooks.com.
But once the other person feels camaraderie with you, the real mind reading begins. Collect bits and pieces of info by observing gestures, posture, eye movements, voice changes, physical contact, and, of course, language. While one piece of information can’t tell you everything you need to know about the person, taken together can you get a pretty good idea if someone is lying to you, flirting with you, hiding a secret, etc.
Fexeus ends with, what can only be described as, party tricks. He teaches you how to read people’s subtle movements, so that you can eventually tell who that person is thinking about, who she loves, who he dislikes, etc., just by asking a few questions and watching for the physical clues that follow. It’s pretty cool stuff.
It took me a bit to get through this book, but it was still very interesting and informative. I sure would love to see the TED talk version, though. Just sayin. :)
Thank you to Net Galley and St. Martin's Press for the ARC! See more of my book reviews at www.bugbugbooks.com.
September 17, 2019
Simple but fun. Don't expect to be told any big secrets, but some practical tip and intuition.
December 31, 2024
The last book I finished in 2024, in the late afternoon of December 31st. It was a relatively short but easy read. The author does point out that several scientific studies disprove most of the exact statements about body language interpretation or distributing people by their dominant senses, but he importantly points out that regardless of the exact interpretation of cues you are already in exponentially better place once and notice things majority of people never done once you start paying conscious attention to those things. Practical part about influencing was very short and mostly focused around mental anchors.
“Whenever you do something, if you notice that it doesn’t work, stop whatever it is that you are doing and do something else.—MILTON H. ERICKSON If you think about different situations in your life in which you made no progress, you will probably realize that the reason you got stuck in the first place was that you were stubbornly attempting the same failed solution over and over again. The simplest solutions are often the hardest to find.”
“First Agree, Then Lead”
“All kinds of people, from professional golfers to successful entrepreneurs, can tell you that if you concentrate on avoiding obstacles instead of concentrating on your goals, then you’ll run straight into the obstacles.”
“Whenever you do something, if you notice that it doesn’t work, stop whatever it is that you are doing and do something else.—MILTON H. ERICKSON If you think about different situations in your life in which you made no progress, you will probably realize that the reason you got stuck in the first place was that you were stubbornly attempting the same failed solution over and over again. The simplest solutions are often the hardest to find.”
“First Agree, Then Lead”
“All kinds of people, from professional golfers to successful entrepreneurs, can tell you that if you concentrate on avoiding obstacles instead of concentrating on your goals, then you’ll run straight into the obstacles.”
December 23, 2024
Tegenwoordig schrijf ik al een review tijdens het lezen. Handig. Maar niet zo handig wanneer jouw smartphone crasht en je alle notities kwijt bent. Helaas was dit bij dit boek het geval. Opnieuw dus:
Dit boek gaat over gedachtelezen. Natuurlijk kan je dit niet letterlijk. Maar dankzij de vele tips in dit boek kun je wel aardig in de buurt komen.
Eerst en vooral moet je een goed rapport hebben met de ander. Een gangbare definitie van rapport is de volgende: "Rapport is een relatie die wordt gekenmerkt door harmonie, begrip, wederzijds vertrouwen en de bereidheid de ander te volgen (pacing) . Het is als een dans voor twee of meer mensen. Je kunt zeggen dat mensen rapport hebben met elkaar als ze ontspannen zijn en zich goed voelen in elkaars gezelschap."
Maar hoe kun je nu een goed rapport opbouwen met jouw medemens? Een toverwoord is spiegelen: spiegel de ander in zijn of haar gedrag.
Als je te weten komt wat iemand zijn dominante zintuig is, kan je beter spiegelen en bijgevolg nog beter rapport hebben. Je spreekt dan namelijk in de ander z'n taal. Hierin heb je verschillende categorieën: visueel ingestelde mensen, auditieve, kinesthetische, en neutrale of intern redenerende mensen.
We leren ook veel over lichaamstaal, en hoe we dat dankzij het spiegelen wederom kunnen inzetten om een nog beter rapport te hebben met anderen.
Er zijn veel tips en voorbeelden in dit boek, de ene al wat toepasbaarder dan de andere. Ik heb hier veel van geleerd, ik had dit boek liever al 20 jaar geleden gelezen, maar beter laat dan ooit!
Dit boek gaat over gedachtelezen. Natuurlijk kan je dit niet letterlijk. Maar dankzij de vele tips in dit boek kun je wel aardig in de buurt komen.
Eerst en vooral moet je een goed rapport hebben met de ander. Een gangbare definitie van rapport is de volgende: "Rapport is een relatie die wordt gekenmerkt door harmonie, begrip, wederzijds vertrouwen en de bereidheid de ander te volgen (pacing) . Het is als een dans voor twee of meer mensen. Je kunt zeggen dat mensen rapport hebben met elkaar als ze ontspannen zijn en zich goed voelen in elkaars gezelschap."
Maar hoe kun je nu een goed rapport opbouwen met jouw medemens? Een toverwoord is spiegelen: spiegel de ander in zijn of haar gedrag.
Als je te weten komt wat iemand zijn dominante zintuig is, kan je beter spiegelen en bijgevolg nog beter rapport hebben. Je spreekt dan namelijk in de ander z'n taal. Hierin heb je verschillende categorieën: visueel ingestelde mensen, auditieve, kinesthetische, en neutrale of intern redenerende mensen.
We leren ook veel over lichaamstaal, en hoe we dat dankzij het spiegelen wederom kunnen inzetten om een nog beter rapport te hebben met anderen.
Er zijn veel tips en voorbeelden in dit boek, de ene al wat toepasbaarder dan de andere. Ik heb hier veel van geleerd, ik had dit boek liever al 20 jaar geleden gelezen, maar beter laat dan ooit!
October 30, 2023
Mία περιέργεια να διαβάσω ένα έργο του Henrik Fexeus ομολογώ πως την είχα. Σίγουρα αυτή προέκυψε λόγω της εμπλοκής του ονόματος του στη συγγραφή των δύο τελευταίων μυθιστορημάτων της lackberg.
Γιατί επέλεξε ο showman ,πνευματιστής και ομιλητής Fexeus να γίνετε συγγραφέας?
Την απάντηση την κρατάω στα χέρια μου. Ένα βιβλίο που δεν περιγράφει τίποτε καινούργιο όπως ο ίδιος ομολογεί ,γραμμένο με εξαιρετικό χιούμορ όπου απλά μας εξηγεί τι είναι αυτό που νιώθουμε οταν παρατηρούμε τους άλλους κάνοντας μας θεωρητικά να μπορούμε να διαβάσουμε τιε σκέψεις τους.Παραθέτοντας αρκετές επιστημονικές έρευνες παράλληλα με δικές του εμπειρίες γράφει ένα βιβλίο ,μη επιστημονικό, ευχάριστο,διασκεδαστικό αλλά με περιεχόμενο και γνώσεις.
Αρχικά νόμιζα ότι απευθύνεται σε επαγγελματίες μαρκετιστες, πωλητές,πολιτικούς κλπ αλλά κατάλαβα τελικά ότι απευθύνεται σε όλους εμάς καταδεικνύοντας πώς όλοι αυτοί μπορούν να μας επηρεάζουν θετικά ή αρνητικά διαβάζοντας τις σκέψεις μας. Ένας ωραίος οδηγός αν θέλετε να το κάνετε και εσείς σε ερασιτεχνικό επίπεδο βέβαια καθώς δεν είναι δυνατόν να περιγράφουν όλοι οι τρόποι και οι γνώσεις που χρειάζονται. Κάποια θα σας φανούν τρομερά εύκολα σαν να τα ξέρατε , κάποια θα σας φανούν σαν να διαβάζετε το cosmopolitan και ίσως να έχουν γραφτεί κ εκεί όπως το 8ο κεφάλαιο με τίτλο " πώς να φλερτάρετε χωρίς να ξέρετε"
Ιδιαίτερη προσοχή έδωσα στο 9ο κεφάλαιο"μέθοδοι υποβολής και ανεπαίσθητης επιρροής"το οποίο είναι ίσως το καλύτερο και σημαντικότερο του βιβλίου, για μένα τουλάχιστον.
Για το συγγραφέα το βιβλίο θέλει μερικούς μήνες για να διαβαστεί και να γίνουν όλες οι ασκήσεις που προτείνονται ,παρόλα αυτά είναι σίγουρος ( όπως και γίνεται) ότι θα διαβαστεί σαν ενα κανονικό βιβλίο και ίσως κάποια κομμάτια του εξασκηθούν στο μέλλον.
Γιατί επέλεξε ο showman ,πνευματιστής και ομιλητής Fexeus να γίνετε συγγραφέας?
Την απάντηση την κρατάω στα χέρια μου. Ένα βιβλίο που δεν περιγράφει τίποτε καινούργιο όπως ο ίδιος ομολογεί ,γραμμένο με εξαιρετικό χιούμορ όπου απλά μας εξηγεί τι είναι αυτό που νιώθουμε οταν παρατηρούμε τους άλλους κάνοντας μας θεωρητικά να μπορούμε να διαβάσουμε τιε σκέψεις τους.Παραθέτοντας αρκετές επιστημονικές έρευνες παράλληλα με δικές του εμπειρίες γράφει ένα βιβλίο ,μη επιστημονικό, ευχάριστο,διασκεδαστικό αλλά με περιεχόμενο και γνώσεις.
Αρχικά νόμιζα ότι απευθύνεται σε επαγγελματίες μαρκετιστες, πωλητές,πολιτικούς κλπ αλλά κατάλαβα τελικά ότι απευθύνεται σε όλους εμάς καταδεικνύοντας πώς όλοι αυτοί μπορούν να μας επηρεάζουν θετικά ή αρνητικά διαβάζοντας τις σκέψεις μας. Ένας ωραίος οδηγός αν θέλετε να το κάνετε και εσείς σε ερασιτεχνικό επίπεδο βέβαια καθώς δεν είναι δυνατόν να περιγράφουν όλοι οι τρόποι και οι γνώσεις που χρειάζονται. Κάποια θα σας φανούν τρομερά εύκολα σαν να τα ξέρατε , κάποια θα σας φανούν σαν να διαβάζετε το cosmopolitan και ίσως να έχουν γραφτεί κ εκεί όπως το 8ο κεφάλαιο με τίτλο " πώς να φλερτάρετε χωρίς να ξέρετε"
Ιδιαίτερη προσοχή έδωσα στο 9ο κεφάλαιο"μέθοδοι υποβολής και ανεπαίσθητης επιρροής"το οποίο είναι ίσως το καλύτερο και σημαντικότερο του βιβλίου, για μένα τουλάχιστον.
Για το συγγραφέα το βιβλίο θέλει μερικούς μήνες για να διαβαστεί και να γίνουν όλες οι ασκήσεις που προτείνονται ,παρόλα αυτά είναι σίγουρος ( όπως και γίνεται) ότι θα διαβαστεί σαν ενα κανονικό βιβλίο και ίσως κάποια κομμάτια του εξασκηθούν στο μέλλον.
February 13, 2023
Super good, super interesting and he really easily breaks down people & body language in a way that makes sense
- you also learn a few cool “mind reading” party tricks🫢
- you also learn a few cool “mind reading” party tricks🫢
January 3, 2024
ده من الكتب الى خلصتها وعارفة اني هرجع اقرا منه تاتي
الكتاب مفيد اوي فيما يتعلق بعلم النفس عن التواصل من دون الكلمات non-verbal communication
استفدت منه اوى وبذات ان دي اول مرة اقرا في المضوع ده
الكتاب مفيد اوي فيما يتعلق بعلم النفس عن التواصل من دون الكلمات non-verbal communication
استفدت منه اوى وبذات ان دي اول مرة اقرا في المضوع ده
January 27, 2021
This book is about human behavior and psychology. Learning to observe the unconscious signs other people display: (flirtation, fear, excitement, etc), Identifying the emotional states of others and influencing the mental processes of others causing a change of mood is the main subject of the book. Once you become aware of what others are feeling or thinking based on their ticks, scientific evidence & keen analyzation, you can "read their mind". Well...not really reading minds but to others who aren't aware of their own "tells", it will seem like magic!
Now all of this information could totally be used for evil in the hands of the wrong person: manipulation. Because just as we can observe others, it's actually quite easy to influence other's behavior as well. (yes! Strong assertions here! Read the book!) The title of the book really does capture exactly what the book is about!
I enjoyed this so much! The bits about understanding how our bodies work and display in times of stress, fear, excitement, aroused, etc. was fascinating! I found the bits about establishing rapport with someone very helpful! (Rapport is something that would be beneficial with a boss or family member - someone to whom their presence is a fact of life or a threat.)
As per usual with these nonfiction, scientific, psychological books, the information gets really granular and tedious, but it's a necessary thing to understand the concepts.
Now all of this information could totally be used for evil in the hands of the wrong person: manipulation. Because just as we can observe others, it's actually quite easy to influence other's behavior as well. (yes! Strong assertions here! Read the book!) The title of the book really does capture exactly what the book is about!
I enjoyed this so much! The bits about understanding how our bodies work and display in times of stress, fear, excitement, aroused, etc. was fascinating! I found the bits about establishing rapport with someone very helpful! (Rapport is something that would be beneficial with a boss or family member - someone to whom their presence is a fact of life or a threat.)
As per usual with these nonfiction, scientific, psychological books, the information gets really granular and tedious, but it's a necessary thing to understand the concepts.
December 29, 2019
Fexeus offers a simple introduction to the art of understanding and influencing other’s unconscious thoughts and actions.
The book is written simply, easy to digest, and very lightheartedly, which makes for a light read. The principles are often simple psychological tools and tricks to better understand people’s true intentions, while furthering one’s own.
To truly apply the principles within this book, I suspect one must practice greatly and consider idiosyncrasies to respective contexts and individuals.
People weave a web of meaning, believe in it with all their heart, but sooner or later the web unravels... - Yuval Noah Harari
The book is written simply, easy to digest, and very lightheartedly, which makes for a light read. The principles are often simple psychological tools and tricks to better understand people’s true intentions, while furthering one’s own.
To truly apply the principles within this book, I suspect one must practice greatly and consider idiosyncrasies to respective contexts and individuals.
People weave a web of meaning, believe in it with all their heart, but sooner or later the web unravels... - Yuval Noah Harari
July 27, 2011
För nybörjare är boken säkert bra, men för mig som har läst en hel del om ämnet innan var den tråkig att läsa. Jag tappade läslusten emellanåt och det tog mig alldeles för lång tid att avsluta den. Den var nog något för informell för mig, tror jag. Men vissa exempel och bilder var lämpliga. Det är nog svårt att sammanfatta kroppsspråk i en bok.
October 16, 2019
This doesn’t really say anything new. It discusses body language, facial expressions & intonations as well as language choices and ‘tricks’ you can do to ‘prove’ that you’re a mind reader.
It is handy as it is all contained in one book but it is very much a beginners guide to understanding unconscious behaviours and noticing them within yourself.
It is handy as it is all contained in one book but it is very much a beginners guide to understanding unconscious behaviours and noticing them within yourself.
September 5, 2022
كتاب كويس ينقصه بعض الترتيب والتسلسل في الافكار .. وانا بشتريه كنت فاكره انه هيعجبني وهيناقش امور اكتر من المحتوى اللي وجدته وقت القراءه .. الترجمه كانت سيئه في بعض الفصول الاخيره تسبب ذلك في احساسي بالملل في اخر الكتاب,🤫
April 22, 2024
It says the completely basic and logic tips with an over-theatrical sense. Also I don't know about the validity of the ways of actually " reading the mind ". In one word . Maybe a fraud ( 3 words ). I don't recommend it .
February 12, 2020
I enjoyed this read. I'm going to order my own copy so I can make notes and improve slowly. I highly recommend this book. It will you understand others and also understand yourself!
December 5, 2023
الكثير من الرغي والممل
November 23, 2024
Fraco e sensacionalista.
Trabalho há 10 anos com investigações (o que me leva a conduzir entrevistas forenses frequentemente), então tenho grande interesse pelo tema de linguagem não-verbal, rapport e outros assuntos que o autor tenta abordar. Além de ler bastante, já fiz diversos cursos na área (inclusive do Paul Ekman Group, que é uma pessoa bastante mencionada nesse livro), e tenho certificação internacional na condução da entrevistas.
Dito isso, me sinto com bastante propriedade para dizer que esse livro é uma grande bobagem.
1- Conceitos interessantes e reais são trazidos de maneira rasa e incompleta.
2- Algumas questões simplesmente não existem, ou não existem da maneira como ele coloca.
3- Algumas passagens são ridiculamente iguais a outras obras (até alguns exemplos que ele dá são idênticos a livros listados na bibliografia dele), só que com um tom de “ah, agora você virará o mestre em saber sobre as outras pessoas - como se sentem, se estão mentindo e, de quebra, ainda ganhou o superpoder de influenciá-las”
A mente humana é complexa demais para o conteúdo desse livro, que tem a profundidade de uma colherzinha de chá.
Trabalho há 10 anos com investigações (o que me leva a conduzir entrevistas forenses frequentemente), então tenho grande interesse pelo tema de linguagem não-verbal, rapport e outros assuntos que o autor tenta abordar. Além de ler bastante, já fiz diversos cursos na área (inclusive do Paul Ekman Group, que é uma pessoa bastante mencionada nesse livro), e tenho certificação internacional na condução da entrevistas.
Dito isso, me sinto com bastante propriedade para dizer que esse livro é uma grande bobagem.
1- Conceitos interessantes e reais são trazidos de maneira rasa e incompleta.
2- Algumas questões simplesmente não existem, ou não existem da maneira como ele coloca.
3- Algumas passagens são ridiculamente iguais a outras obras (até alguns exemplos que ele dá são idênticos a livros listados na bibliografia dele), só que com um tom de “ah, agora você virará o mestre em saber sobre as outras pessoas - como se sentem, se estão mentindo e, de quebra, ainda ganhou o superpoder de influenciá-las”
A mente humana é complexa demais para o conteúdo desse livro, que tem a profundidade de uma colherzinha de chá.
September 16, 2025
En helt ok bok om det å lese tanker, selvom den ikke helt innfridde min definisjon av tankelesing som mer direkte enn Fexeus viser til, selvom jeg ikke hadde forventet at man er i stand til å lese tanker slik man leser en bok. Henrik Fexeus kommer allikevel med mange interessante poenger og hvordan kroppen og hjernen fungerer i forhold til kroppsspråk og hvordan vi snakker og hvordan dette kan avsløre noe av tankegangen vår. Med andre ord, endel konkret psykologisk innsikt som jeg ikke har lest i mange andre psykologrelaterte bøker. Boken avsluttes med endel kule partytriks som hadde vært interessant å teste ut. Boken er ikke helt super, men en grei innføring i tankelesingens kunst for den som skulle vært interessert.
January 9, 2025
There are two things, The empathetic memory is one of the most powerful tools you can utilize, as it helps you deeply understand the emotions of others and better grasp their reactions. Additionally, imagery-based rhetoric is a strong method for conveying meaning effectively, using mental pictures to create a profound psychological impact and captivate attention in a memorable way. It leaves a truly remarkable psychological effect, bro!
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