Unmasked: The Ultimate Guide to ADHD, Autism and Neurodivergence

by Ellie Middleton (author/narrator)

Brought to you by Penguin.

Whether you are neurodivergent, suspect you might be, or want to be a better ally, UNMASKED will help you make sense of it all, and put the power in your hands.

Ellie was 24 when she learned she wasn't broken. She wasn't a bad person, she was neurodivergent. Her late diagnosis of ADHD and autism was like a lightbulb being switched on and she could finally start to heal from the trauma of being un-diagnosed and mis-understood for so long.

Since getting her diagnosis, Ellie has made it her mission to change the way we think about autism, ADHD and neurodivergence and in UNMASKED she shares what she has learned along her journey.

Written in a bite-sized style for whizzy brains like hers, Ellie shares chapters on mental health, pretty privilege, how to navigate the workplace and the importance of self-diagnosis so that we can all better understand and celebrate neurodivergence, and ultimately make the world a more inclusive place.

Genres: Nonfiction, Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Adhd, Self Help, Psychology, Mental Health, Audiobook

Audible Audio

Published October 25, 2023

About the author

After a lifetime of feeling misunderstood, she was diagnosed with both Autism and ADHD at the age of 24.

Since then, she's gone on to build an audience of over 300,000 people online, create the unmasked community for neurodivergents, and work with global brands like The Independent, Google & LinkedIn to change the narrative on neurodiversity.

Ellie aims to shout about the positives that come with being neurodivergent, highlight the ways that society can better accommodate those of us with different brains, and help other undiagnosed neurodivergent people find the answers that they deserve.

She is living proof that getting a diagnosis can change your life, change your outlook and allow you to reach your true potential - and thinks that is something that every neurodivergent person deserves.

Reviews

[Gemma LeDain · Rating 2 out of 5]

I brought the book on a TikTok recommendation, and was really quite excited to read it. So much so that I finished the book I was currently reading and immediately started this one, reading it through in one sitting to the end.

It wasn’t what I expected it to be, at all.

Firstly, what I did appreciate is the statistics. There were a large number of alarming statistics all backed up with sources in the back which is hugely appreciated for a fact checker like me. I appreciated the sections that gave examples to each trait, I think that in itself is really helpful in recognising that traits in real life don’t always look the way you might think when written on paper. I liked the use of headings and sectioning for ease of reading (although wasn’t a huge fan of the end of each chapter with the box at the end of key points to remember, but more on that later!)

I struggled a lot with the tone. In the nicest way possible it felt a bit patronising. Lots of the interesting information was bookended by repetitiveness.

What I didn’t like was the impersonal feel. Now I know this probably sounds unusual given that there are personal anecdotes in the book, but I found the book to be really almost textbook like. It reminded me a lot of a GCSE study guide with bullet points at the end, all it was lacking was the speech bubbles with the small interspersed anecdotes inside and the little cartoons.

A big theme (unsurprisingly!) is unmasking. Something that I understand is important for the mental health and well-being of neurodivergent people. However I felt like lots of the book really pushed the idea that people should strive to unmask, it highlighted the ostracism and bullying (and the instinctual dislike people get of autistic people as they sense a difference) but equally pushed for us to unmask and presumably fall victim to these people to a greater degree. Masking is safety (something that’s repeated a lot in the book) and I came away from this book feeling like I was doing something wrong for wanting to fit in, for wanting to maintain a more neurotypical appearance in public, in my workplace etc.

Finally, I felt unfortunately compelled to write this written review. As mentioned above I read the book in one sitting, I read it on my kindle, gave my honest star rating at the end, and moved on to the next book, which I do with everything I read on my kindle. Imagine my surprise when the next day I pop over to instagram and discover the author has called me out in her stories as leaving an anonymous rubbish review and how I had to “go and spoil it”. My rating was entirely honest based on the book I read, meaning I now feel like I have to justify my honest opinions and thoughts, while knowing I’m probably being talked about by her followers. Not the greatest way to wake up if I’m honest.

I’ve come to the conclusion this book wasn’t for me, and that’s okay. Not everyone has to like every book.

[el · Rating 2 out of 5]

so disappointed in this. i mentioned this in an article earlier this year as one of the books i was most excited to read, so i was really let down.

this is basically one huge textbook, with quotes from the DSM and studies on autism, which gave it a really impersonal feel, not to mention making it incredibly boring.

i also don’t feel as though the author understands her privilege - being able to become a huge influencer within the ND community and get a book deal within two years of being diagnosed is insane, and i didn’t get the impression that she thinks her being white & cis has anything to do with it.

i think if you’re not neurodivergent yourself and you want to learn more about it then this might be a good read for you because it’s more information based, but if you’re ND or looking for a more self-help type of book, different not less by chloé hayden is a MUCH better book in my opinion, it’s so joyful

[Meg · Rating 1 out of 5]

I love the work that Ellie does so I was excited to read this book. For me this read very much like a textbook so I just didn't enjoy it at all.

[Evie Ambler · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is a good read if you are completely new to neurodiversity although I found it was all things I knew (which I am lucky enough to know). Think this would be better for someone who is supporting a neurodiverse person

[Comfy Womfy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm grateful for the abundance of insightful information in this book, which deepened my understanding of autism and ADHD. Unfortunately, Ellie’s obsession with identity politics is extremely off-putting.

[⊹ ⁺ ₊ ✧ she's book obsessed ✧ ₊ ⁺ ⊹ · Rating 3 out of 5]

⊹ ⁺ ₊ ✧ UNMASKED ┊ 3 stars ✧ ₊ ⁺ ⊹

☆₊⋆ → thoughts┊A nice introduction to neurodivergence, more specifically autism and adhd.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄☆⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

౨ৎ happy reading ౨ৎ

[Claire Septer · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF at 84%. It was too boring and very repetitive. I expected learn something from this book but that was not at all the case. She just kept going on about her pretty privilege 🙄

[Clara · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I really wanted to enjoy this book, I found the writing a little flat for me and often repeating points over and over again. It felt like she ran out of content sometimes.

I thought it would be more of a personal growth book and I didn’t like how much she talked about politics, not because I didn’t agree but because it seemed like it didn’t fit in and that she was scared people would be angry at her for not considering every little minority in the world. I wanted to read her thoughts and I while it is nice to have some marginalized neurodivergent people in the book, in the end it felt like a lot of people pleasing and being afraid of backlash. I think she should have written two books, one about her own journey and one about political changes to help autistic people. It just felt like it was a bit all over the place and she didn’t know what to focus on. So it never got very deep. Not in the personal or in the politics. Always stayed a little superficial.

[Chloe Stratton · Rating 5 out of 5]

As an Autistic ADHDer I really loved this book and felt it summarised my own experience as a neurodivergent person really well. Ellie managed to pick out the key traits I’ve found impact my own life significantly and describe them and their impact well.
Overall I’d recommend this book to anyone who wants to learn more about the Autistic ADHD experience.

[Hayley · Rating 1 out of 5]

What could have been a really informative book is let down by the self indulgence and the arrogant tone in it.

[nicole · Rating 2 out of 5]

I want to start by prefacing that this book raises awareness to some very important issues experienced by the ND community and contains some thought provoking statistics. I did however expect this to be a book containing much more proactive self help content so it didn’t meet expectations for me. I found it very repetitive and honestly as a result, irritating at times. I presumed since the book’s title is ‘unmasked’ that there would be much more of a ‘how to’ approach in regard to unmasking.

[Anya Smith · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was pretty disappointed by this one.

This might be good for someone recently diagnosed autistic/ADHD or for someone with a loved one recently diagnosed...

Otherwise, it's basically just the DSM quoted alongside some other very basic information and a few anecdotes... and a lot of the information was repeated.

[Jac Elliott · Rating 5 out of 5]

would recommend everyone to read this book. very insightful & validating!

[Michelle Fraser · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lovely, validating read with some great insights, especially for in the workplace. Learnt a lot even as a neurospicy human diagnosed 3 years ago.

[Natasha Brooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was so detailed and clear. Ellie clearly understood her audience and created such a wonderful resource for learning about Autism and ADHD. It was the perfect length and was so thorough. I loved how she structured the chapters, beginning by giving you an overview of what would be discussed, the chapter content and closing with a review of the chapter. It was so easy to follow even on audiobook which is so valuable. I learned so much even after having read a few Autism/ADHD books there was still new and unique ideas that Ellie articulated in her own unique way. Also the acknowledgments made me cry because it was so lovely to hear how many wonderful people she has in her life supporting her. Would 100% recommend this to my neurodivergent friends and loved ones as well as any neurotypical people wanting to better support those around them.

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars, here's my review. I thought this was an excellent beginner's guide to autism and ADHD. I've read quite a few books on autism, but this was my first book that also included ADHD. I really appreciated the friendly tone Middleton adopted throughout. I think this book might be a better starting point than Toeps' acclaimed work on autism precisely because of the tone. If I had read this book sooner, I probably would have given it a higher rating purely because I've grown more critical on disability/autism related topics over the past few years. I also feel that other than a few tips, it didn't provide me with a lot of new information. That's okay, that's why I said it would be a great beginner's guide (and I really appreciated that she pointed out more advanced books on the topics!). I was surprised to see so many negative reviews, which mostly seem to centre around Middleton not understanding her own privilege. For the most part, I disagree. Middleton often discusses her privileged background and how lucky she was in certain aspects, she even dedicated an entire chapter to the pretty privilege (I found this chapter very awkward). For me, it's the last couple of years of her life she doesn't acknowledge. I'm very confused how someone who was so unwell mentally was able to turn her life around so quickly (I'm not saying that she doesn't still struggle - I want to know her secret haha). I wish she had acknowledged this privilege. I also disliked the textbook style summaries at the end of each chapter but I can image that it works well for some people. She certainly knows her target audience!

[Abbie · Rating 4 out of 5]

As someone who has been diagnosed with Autism and ADHD this book was really interesting and has helped me to not be so hard on myself! It has made me realise how little support there is in workplaces for people like me. I really hope people pick up this book regardless if you are neurotypical or neurodivergent as it has vital information for all. :) I deffo will take this out from the library again even if i only want to look at one section! As what is great with this book is you do not have to read it all at once or in order. You can refer back to it however you like! 😊

[Alex Summers · Rating 5 out of 5]

i found this sooo validating

[Emma Morgan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Things are starting to make a bit more sense to me now…

[Nicola Samples · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book so affirming for me as late-diagnosed AuDHDer that had very similar experiences growing up. I’ve recommended it to everyone in my life that I think would be open to the information in it, whether they’re fellow neurodivergent folks or neurotypical, and will be buying the physical book (after listening to the audiobook through Libby) to be able to refer back to and make notes in

[Ally Hargreaves · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book made me feel seen, heard, and validated, more than I ever anticipated. As my first read on a book supporting neurodivergence, I felt that it was both the perfect introduction to navigating this world/space and something that I can see myself coming back to when I need personal reminders. I loved the format and structure of the book. The paragraphs to break up big passages of content, and the recaps made me feel so productive in reading this. I also loved how the personal experiences were interwoven with the educational information. Highly recommend to anyone who may be exploring neurodivergence for the first time or a late diagnosis. Both perfect for someone experiencing it themselves and a support person.

[Cold · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a mixture of personal story, self-help, science translation, frustrated/rage, and a call for the world to re-shape itself to make space for neurodivergent people. It's written in a self-help style that some will like, some won't. I appreciated how easy it was to jump around the book and not feel lost. It was also well sourced with a good balance of statistics and personal stories.

The personal story is told well. The author struggled socially at school and then struggled again with jobs, in part because of "pretty privilege". In particular, this meant people were reluctant to see the signs of autism/adhd because of the associations of disability with bad=ugly. Employers didn't give her much space, her school friends were cruel and excluded her at various points. I guess the implicit point is that less pretty-presenting people would've fell into more understanding social circles. I get it. At the end, she drops that it was a private school she went to from 14-17, which is I think when the bullying was worst. I wonder how much of this discrimination was related to being a scholarship kid, boarding schools are notoriously brutal.

Her translation of DSM criteria were the best part of the book and very useful. The DSM criteria are designed to pick up the symptoms of autism/adhd in young boys. They're also weirdly framed and functional. This book does a good job of translating the symptoms into something more human and relatable. I thought chapter 3 and 4 were great for this reason.

The chapters on the lost generation, and official vs self diagnosis were great. I agree with her that: (a) diagnosis has mainly risen due to ease of getting information, and the problem was that previous generations were under-diagnosed and (b) for many people, the act of self-diagonosing will bring clarity to their lives.

I disagreed on the chapter about the workplace. The author is very angry at employers for not making accommodations for neurodivergent employees. I get it. For sure, employers can make it easier in some ways, and there's definitely room for more acceptance of sensory issue mitigations and some of the other accommodations discussed in the book. But ultimately its up to neurodivergent people to find jobs that suit us. Maybe adhd people shouldn't get an office job, but something that mixes outside and thinking. Maybe people who get sensory overload and who need routine should stick to remote jobs where they can control their work environment. Etc etc. Ultimately, flexible labour markets help neurodivergent people because they can find a workplace that works for them. Clearly some people don't have the power to choose a workplace that works for them, and so they're forced to suffer. I agree that this is a tragedy, but its not a tragedy unique to neurodivergent people. The problem is much wider related to worker power, labour laws, availability of education etc.

I had a similar issue with education. The core problem is schools don't have enough funding to get class sizes down to 20 to 1, let alone to tailor educational experiences to individual student's neurodivergences. Maybe there's space for more specialist adhd/autism schools. But these are serious structural changes that require huge investment. Focusing this on specific conditions is misguided.

On the other hand, her critique of the medical establishment is very strong. In those sessions, patients are getting 1-to-1 attention. There's a bunch of misdiagnoses largely because the psych establishment focuses on symptoms common in 7 year old boys. The medical community need to address that asap.

Overall, a good book to understand how people experience adhd/autism.

[Holly · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is filled with opinions stated as fact and the expectation that we will just all believe them despite the points being argued extremely poorly.

The actual information about ADHD and Autism wasn’t that bad but that’s sort of where my usefulness for this book ends. Some of the time in her section about how traits may actually present in real life, she talks about things that are very common for EVERYONE, not just neurodivergent people.

My main issue however is with her arguments about changing language. She argues that we should stop calling things ‘deficits’ and start calling them ‘differences’, and that using the word ‘functioning’ is problematic. These are both sentiments I quite strongly disagree with. I am perfectly happy to be challenged on my own opinions and I was hoping for an argument that might at least make me think about my uses of the words, but instead I was met with an ‘argument’ (if it can be called that) that basically consisted of ‘this is my opinion and therefore it’s absolutely critical we change language’. It wasn’t argued, there was no evidence, there was nothing in there to convince anyone that didn’t already wholeheartedly agree. I ended up reading the section on language with what felt like a permanently raised eyebrow.

I am not opposed to changing the language surrounding these disorders, but the topic needs to be actually well argued, because all I see largely negative side effects from changing the language from ‘deficit’ and ‘disorder’ to ‘difference’ in our current society apart from maybe making a select few feel better about themselves.
Further, the author seems to have a much less severe case of ADHD (at least what I can gather the book, I don’t want to assume) than what some suffer from and I feel as though this shines through in her section about changing language. I personally find the watered down terms infantilising and minimising of the actual issues that often severely impact the lives of so many people who are (to put it in terms that the author finds problematic) not as high functioning.

If you’re going to make bold statements about the way we view an entire community, it needs to be sufficiently argued.

Overall this book felt quite infantilising and I felt like the experiences of those with much more severe cases of ADHD and Autism were vastly overlooked. (And I’m not asking her to speak on that to be clear, I just don’t think she should be making bold statements about the language used about the ENTIRE community in this way).

[Zara · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
an amazing book written in such an accessible way!

a guide to living as an autistic, ADHD and/or neurodivergent person, detailing the science, personal anecdotes, advice and statistics

best bits👇🏻
🧡 ellie's voice really shows through her writing, especially when talking about her experiences and giving her advice and knowledge learned from years of lived experience
💚 LISTS, bullet points, takeaway boxes, short-individual chapters which you can read on their own... all the parts of this book are made and tailored towards neurodivergent brains!!
🩷 even after doing multiple courses, being in the community, being an advocate AND having lived experience as an autistic woman myself... i STILL learned so much! this book can teach everybody something, and really helped improve and shape my view of my own accomodations and needs

complaints👇🏻🧠 some parts can get very science-y so it can be hard to retain concentration if you stuggle reading non-fiction based books

knowing ellie myself, this book is such an amazing accomplishment and genuinely can help so many people better understand neurodiversity and how to accommodate both yourself, and other people with ASC and ADHD

[Klaudija · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think this book is best for people who are not very aware of auDHD, and it would have been very helpful for me, probably, before diagnosis. I don’t think I’ve learned much, what I haven’t seen online before, but I found it really relatable and I appreciate the author sharing her experience.
I was hoping to find more personal stories, and more about unmasking (since that’s the title of the book).
The writing structure I found a bit annoying and very repetitive. I understand it may be useful for those who struggle with reading more, but personally, I kept skipping pages. The quote pages seemed very unnecessary, especially because it’s quoting the same text that’s in the book, which just adds to the repetitiveness and wastes paper, in my opinion.

[Emily Katy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A brilliant book you can dip in and out of or read start to finish. I enjoyed the audiobook as it was like listening to a podcast which I loved.

[Loran · Rating 3 out of 5]

Most information was quite interesting, but I had hoped for the book to be a bit more personal.

[Aimee Went · Rating 5 out of 5]

Look ma, it's me!

[Malin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was fabulous! I really wish that everyone - neurodivergent or neurotypical - would read this. As a society we could totally benefit from that.

[Francesco · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m glad I ignored the reviews on Goodreads and decided to read the book.

While it’s definitely not perfect, this book helped me—a neurotypical person—gain a better understanding of the intricacies of ADHD and autism. I appreciated how it encouraged more open discussions of themes that are often ignored and how all the statements were well-referenced with books, articles, or papers. That said, the book has its flaws; at times, it feels like reading a Wikipedia-style list of symptoms, and from my perspective, many of the recommendations for neurotypical people came across as too abstract.

Still, neither these issues nor the critical reviews should stop you from picking up this book—especially if your partner, family member, or friend is neurodivergent. It could provide you with some valuable tools to better understand the world around you.