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Unknown Binding
First published August 17, 2013

"I had lost so much weight I would no doubt be lighter than a wisp of air, but I felt heavy. My soul was no longer treading deep waters, it was drowning in it."
"I'm not going to accept that you will die sooner rather than later. I will only accept life."
We don't get to know many of the secondary characters well, but one I will always remember is Mia. She was also a cancer patient, and her family knew Harper. There was a great friendship blooming between her and Breeze and for a 14 year old, she had some of the wisest words I've read.
"You and I, we're made of something different, we're stronger and braver, and you beat cancer, Bree, so you can deal with anything now."
I could have read her little words of wisdom time and time again. I appreciated her part in the story so much. Even if she did break my heart.
~ Empty, Silent.
Alone in a black hole of dissidence
a shadow of the life that once blossomed within.
Hope lays dormant,
no longer taunting me from afar.
Defeated, Extinguished.
Drowning in a sea of overwhelming devastation
A ghostly fragment of my former self. ~

~ "I'm not going to accept that you will die sooner rather than later. I will only accept life." ~

~"I get it Harper, I understand what you're saying but when I got cancer something inside of me broke. I'm filled with selfish thoughts like how I won't have children or get married. I want to smile but it's just easier to frown. I want to go outside and enjoy the sun but when I'm out there the sadness just follows me.
At least death might bring me peace from all this selfish sorrow. ~


~"Louder, Breeze," he demanded in a voice that commanded obedience. I wanted to ignore him. I wanted to demand he turn around, drive me home and let me wallow in my room, in the cocoon of my blankets. "Again," he growled.
"I am good enough, you do want me there, I am pretty, and I'm definitely not boring." I pretty much screamed it at him, tears running down my face....
"Damn straight." ~
~ Smiling had seemed so difficult only a few days ago. Now, it felt easy and right. Gradually, some resemblance to the old Bree was finding it's way back. My soul was being repaired, my sorrow fading and the darkness gradually becoming lighter. ~

~ "You are going to live, baby girl, and you are going to live with no regrets. And if you go before me, I want you to know when it's my turn I will find you. I'm going to rock your afterlife just like I rocked your living life." ~
~"Breeze, many my nights are filled of dreams where I fuck you in every conceivable position and in every conceivable place" ~ Harper
~“I could feel him everywhere, in me, on me, around me, but nothing compared to the feeling of him in my heart. Harper possessed me on every level.” ~ Bree

~ No matter what our future held, a long life, a short life, I knew what we would be together forever. I would be with Breeze in this life, the next and beyond, because true love is endless and when two soul mates come together it is for eternity. ~


This man really was my happy pill. He should come with a warning, 'best served in small doses'. To hell with that, I wanted to overdose on his joy and enthusiasm.
My body ached for Harper, my heart pounded for him, to say I wanted him was simply ridiculous; I needed him like I needed the air to breathe.
When I got cancer something inside of me broke. I'm filled with selfish thoughts like how I won't have children or get married. I want to smile but it's just easier to frown. I want to go outside and enjoy the sun but when I'm out there the sadness just follows me, I get so tired of pretending everything is ok for other people's benefit. At least here I can be myself, I can be sad. At least death might bring me peace from all this selfish sorrow.
"...He is a man who would drag his best friends sorry ass out of their apartment and show her how truly blessed she is to be alive right now. I know a guy called Harper who makes his best friend feel utterly beautiful when all she feels is ugly..."
"Breeze, that right there just completed me. It's you and me forever now, baby girl."
You are going to live, baby girl, and you are going to live with no regrets. And if you go before me, I want you know know that when it's my turn I will find you. I'm going to rock your afterlife just like I rocked your living life."
Suddenly our friendship felt different, more intense and a little bit thrilling. And just like that I was entertaining thoughts of more. More Harper, more us, more life...
"I loved you then, I loved you when I told you in March, I loved you when I told you yesterday and I love you right now. I always have and always will and I hope to fuck you realize that now because I'm not sure what else I can do to prove it."





