The Eclectic Chauvinist

by Gil Gildner

It was a long haul down the third floor corridor - and even more so when one was dragging Chummis by one leg. 'Make 'em give it to you!' shouted Mr Fitzborough-Smithyton, who was running beside Espanosa and encouraging him. 'I'm trying to!' shouted Espanosa in return. 'He's holding on tight!' Phipps was running along behind. 'Give it to us!' he shouted into Chummis's upside-down head, which was banging against the floor. 'We want it!' Chummis groaned as his head struck against a particularly hard door-jamb and shouted 'I already watched it! I don't want you churlish beef-wits to watch it again! I want to watch Trenches of Verdun!' Phipps grasped ahold of the reel that was clasped in Chummis's hands and jerked. It came loose and flew through the air, sailed through an open spare room door and landed on the top of a bed-post. It broke in half, spilling out thousands of feet of film tape. The four men stood silently at the door. Espanosa said sadly, 'You broke it. Now, Alf, we can no longer watch the first few reels of Hanging From Acrylic.'

186 pages, Paperback

First published September 5, 2006