How Contempt Destroys Democracy: An American Liberal's Guide to Toxic Polarization

by Zachary Elwood

“Zachary Elwood is one of the wisest voices on the topic of toxic polarization... America needs its citizens to listen to Zach.”
— Daniel F. Stone, polarization researcher and author of Undue Hate

If you're someone who sees Trump and Trumpism as dangerous threats to American democracy, it's of the utmost importance to understand the dynamics that led us to this moment in time. This book will help you understand how we got here — and how we might avoid worst-case scenarios.

How does a democracy fall apart? One path — the path we’re currently on — is extreme division. Many people grow to hate and fear the “other side” so much that beating them takes precedence over everything else.

Can we avoid worst-case scenarios? To help us avoid increasing chaos, dysfunction, and democratic erosion in America, we need many more people to understand how toxic polarization works and the ways they can help solve this problem.

What’s in the book? This book examines:

• The distorted, overly pessimistic views liberals and conservatives have of each other
• How contempt and fear lead to a self-reinforcing cycle of conflict — which helps create the very things that upset us (including undemocratic behavior)
• What we can all do to help solve this problem

This book will also help you have less angry and more constructive conversations with people on the “other side” — which is, as this book shows, one small way we can all help overcome our toxic divides and sustain democracy.

"...an essential guide for American liberals worried about the future of our country... His book provides lessons for dealing with our many and serious points of conflict without falling prey to polarization."
— Taylor Dotson, author of The How Fanatical Certitude Is Destroying Democracy

Zachary Elwood is the host of the psychology podcast People Who Read People, which often focuses on political polarization. His first book, Defusing American Anger, was written for all Americans (conservative and liberal).

248 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 15, 2024

Reviews

[kenyon dv · Rating 4 out of 5]

(4/5) This book makes very good points about the media and politicians resorting to inflamed battles calling each other evil or stupid, etc. and the toxic feedback loop that has inevitably resulted in the hearts and minds of both sides.

People’s support for undemocratic (or even blatant fascist policies) is likely due to toxic polarization, as people will accept an evil policy if they believe the other side is somehow worse. The challenge is de-escalating the polarization so people can actually see authoritarian policies for what they are, so they can see the grifters and billionaire financed dystopian ideologies fueling both parties (though especially the republican party under Trump).

The author quotes an argument that Biden campaigned on being a moderate centrist who would bring back normalcy, but he pushed further left once elected and caused deeper divide as a result. The quote follows that democrats should remain in the moderate center to win elections, but it is deeply flawed as we saw in the 2024 election (after this book was released). Kamala Harris ran a 2000’s republican policy platform (strong on the border, most lethal military in the world, supporting the genocide in Gaza, campaigning with Liz Cheney, etc.) and the result was that her campaign failed miserably, while actual “far left” progressives are seeing success in campaigns like Mamdani in NYC. Moderate Dem Andrew Cuomo lost even with the backing of millions of dollars from billionaires, because his platform was just “the other guy sucks”. Kamala Harris lost for the same reason, it’s not compelling to spend your entire campaign hating on the other guy.

The solution is not to be moderate in policy, but to offer policy platforms that speak to people of both parties by acknowledging the economic problems we ALL face and make an actual effort to fix it. Regular bureaucratic-democrats and republicans are corrupted by big business relations and it shows in their policies that overwhelmingly screw over Americans and benefit the rich. Trump takes advantage of this by grifting his own supporters, speaking truthfully about some legitimate issues, fear-mongering about culture wars (that this book rightfully acknowledges), and then using that populist support to screw over Americans and benefit the rich in an even more accelerated manner.

As an example, Trump calls out “fake news” (media organizations bought out by corporations that use sensationalism to maximize views and therefore income), he fear-mongers about various minority groups (trans people and immigrants supposedly raping everyone despite statistics saying the opposite) and then screws over Americans with tariff policies while we are already paying high grocery prices, no end to inflation anywhere in sight. His followers are not predominantly evil or stupid, they’re just gullible. Toxic polarization feeds that gullibility because no one wants the shame of admitting they’re wrong, so people double down and excuse the blatant fascist policies that go against their “small government conservatism” because they view the enemy as somehow worse.

The author correctly points out that people are more willing to defend wrongdoing on their side when the “enemy” is accusing them of all being pedophiles or racists, etc. If Biden was deploying the military in US cities, conservatives would rightfully be freaking out about it, but when Trump does it there’s a myriad of excuses fed to them by Fox News. Calling regular conservatives fascist unfortunately has the effect of making them double down on policies they would logically disagree with if they could break through their gullibility, but being called stupid and evil and racist etc. doesn’t change minds.

Free market conservatives don’t support tariffs. American patriots don’t support concentration camps. People who believe in the phrase “innocent until proven guilty” don’t support mass incarceration and deportation without trial, especially when it’s people showing up to their scheduled immigration appointments who ARE “immigrating the right way”. Believers of small government do not support military deployment in domestic cities against predominantly peaceful protestors. Advocates of peace and an end to America acting as the world-police don’t support genocide and arms dealing.

And yet here we are, where conservatives find endless excuses for why they support garbage economic policies and the destruction of American trade relations. They justify the development of Alligator Alcatraz and other overcrowded detention centers where disease and starvation runs amok. They yawn when a hundred billion taxpayer dollars are given to ICE to act exactly as the Gestapo did in 1930s Germany. They agree with the deployment of the national guard and marines in US cities when their guy does it. They whine about welfare recipients while funding Israel and the UAE against Gaza and Sudan along with the largest military budget in US history, the list goes on. Republicans (and many democrats) in office are straight up evil, but the average American is just gullible.

One thing the author doesn’t talk about much is the role our failing economy has in causing polarization. The whole book I felt like he was just describing a game of tug-of-war that grew more and more exaggerated and toxic over time, as if operating in a vacuum and with no origin. Sure, policy failures on both sides have given rise to more fierce divide and rejection of opponent’s policies, but there was so much focus on people’s emotions and so little focus on people’s living conditions and livelihoods as sparking the flame in the first place. I get that the book was more focused on the role Liberals having in feeding the toxic feedback loop of polarization, but it’s not a chicken-or-the-egg situation where this problem suddenly popped into being.

It used to be that a working father could buy a house, a car, support at least two kids and his stay at home wife on a single income. How far we’ve fallen, most Americans can’t even afford a car and rent payments on dual incomes. Most families no longer own the house they live in, with housing costs having doubled in the last 50 years while real wages only increased 25%. Rent costs have skyrocketed in the last five years. 40 million Americans are on SNAP benefits. This is neither to blame on democrats or republicans alone, it’s both of them. And they both opportunistically blame the other guy, which then causes the toxic polarization cycle while they both refuse to fundamentally fix anything.

Bush deregulates the housing market and the banks, and then when the economy crashes Obama bails them out with our tax dollars. We’re all worse off (except the rich and powerful), and they keep us dividing by blaming the other guy. Our living conditions keep dwindling, wealth gaps increasing, poverty rates increasing, and as a result nobody can afford homes, nobody can afford kids so birth rates are down, divorce rates are at an all time high, crime rates rise with poverty, and neither party will take responsibility for their contributions to the mess. They just blame the other guy and fuel the toxic polarization cycle, and everyone falls for it.

[Thomas Daly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve been obsessed with the effort to depolarize our society, and have consumed a vast amount of material on the topic over the past few years, but Zachary Elwood’s book has a practical clarity to it that makes it stand out. If you consider yourself a liberal/progressive, this is a must-read.

To quote Elwood, making the most poignant argument for changing the way we relate to “the other side”:

“It’s for these reasons that I think our societal focus on things like artificial intelligence and global warming are missing something much more immediately threatening: our social psychology. Al and global warming are definitely worth worrying about, but I think it's probable that warlike ways of thinking - and the antisocial behaviors that those lead to - will result in mass destruction sooner than those threats will.”

I agree with this wholeheartedly. How can we solve our collective challenges if we can’t communicate with one another? There is another way, and it’s not easy and will not come without our peers thinking we are “traitors” or “too centrist/moderate.” But things the right path forward.

Depolarize within before looking outward.

[Know The System · Rating 5 out of 5]

After the 2016 election, Zach Elwood was a vociferous critic of Trump and his defenders. Over time, though, he recognized—in himself and in others—strong tribalistic instincts that led to distorted views. He applied his expertise in psychology to the matter, and has now come to be a strong and recognized voice for depolarization in the US. How Contempt Destroys Democracy is his second work on the topic. Here, he directs the discussion specifically to fellow liberals, urging them to consider how their own behaviors tend to exacerbate the raw emotions on the other side.

To a great extent, liberals supply the energy fueling the MAGA movement. But it is hard for them to see that. It’s a tough sell, to be sure: liberals tend to think the problem is all on the conservatives’ side, and they excuse excesses on their own side. Elwood focuses on cognitive and tribalistic causes of this behavior, and the many feedback loops that ratchet up polarization. He deftly paints a picture of our current environment and the ways that it is plagued by worst-case thinking, skewed talking points, and self-righteousness. All of it makes the right very angry.

I explored the liberal perspective a bit in my own recent book (Moderates of the World, Unite!) I do think there are some universal psychological principles at play, but I also do not feel like the animosity is at all symmetrical. The classic perspective from political theory is progressive versus reactionary thinking: society is in a constant battle between those who want make the world more just and those who fear chaos and uncertainty and want to protect the status quo. But it sure has amped up in the last thirty years, and much of the explanation has to do with social media, disappearing newsrooms, and the desperate competition for eyeballs.

The starting advantage that liberals have is that their basic goals are, at least on their face, morally unassailable. What kind of heartless person would argue, after all, that those who suffer should not be helped, or that those who are oppressed should not be liberated, or that those born with less should get less? Among prominent liberals, it often leads to sanctimony and a sort of moral absolutism, and (yes) political correctness. But this is the very fodder that prominent conservatives use to depict liberals as crazy and radical, and to spread fear and revulsion amongst their audiences.

Today there are a number of (so to speak) “religion-building” efforts that aim to counter polarization, take down the temperature, and recognize our shared humanity and values. Names that come to mind include David Blankenhorn, Lexi Hudson, Peter Coleman, and Robert Talisse, among others. Some have the flavor of Eastern traditions. Elwood’s work I think provides a more scientific basis for getting at polarization, and should I think be an important resource for these efforts.

But how to put Elwood’s ideas more widely into practice? My own focus tend to be on addressing problems with the system—the media environment, First Amendment jurisprudence, echo chambers, etc.—but I also share with Elwood a concern for educating the public. I could see his work being made into an online mini-course; or, within schools and universities, finding ways to insert his ideas into courses on Critical Thinking.

In any event, I highly recommend this book for liberals who think it’s mostly the other side that is the problem. Surely to some extent it is. But, whether you realize it or not, you have been complicit in schemes to inflame and antagonize conservatives. (Or, well, at least you’ll gain a better understanding of the ways that those other liberals have been doing that.)

[April Ossmann · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recommend this book to anyone who cares about preserving democracy, anyone weary of all the political hate, rage and villainization, anyone who wants to help heal politically induced estrangements with family, friends and neighbors.

I find Elwood's "our distorted perceptions about the other side" section particularly illuminating, and am inspired by his advice, "Polarization grows via vicious feedback cycle and we can try to combat it with a virtuous feedback cycle." I agree that if everyone who cares about this issue made an (any) effort to be more open-minded or reach out, it would make a huge difference collectively.

I appreciate his exhortation, "If you're a writer, artist, social media influencer, or other creator, you might look for ways to incorporate depolarization-aimed ideas in your work." I hope that creative writers, artists and song writers will be inspired to creatively explore depolarization.

[Kamy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great explanation of how polarization actually works, why it is dangerous, and what we can do to depolarize. One of the better books on polarization.