What do you think?
Rate this book
Only Children: Three Hilarious Short Stories
From million-copy bestselling author David Baddiel comes a laugh-out-loud collection of three short stories for readers of 8 and up, brilliantly illustrated by Jim Field and Steven Lenton.
MEET ALFIE… THE BOY WHO COULD DO WHAT HE LIKED!
Previously published for World Book Day 2016
Alfie has a routine. To be honest he has a lot of routines.
But then one day Alfie’s babysitter is unavailable, and Alfie’s parents get Mrs Stokes instead. Mrs Stokes doesn’t do routines. Instead, she just tells Alfie to do what he likes. And that’s when things start to go weird.
Does everything get hilariously out of control? Yes.
Does Alfie learn a valuable lesson? Nah. This isn’t that kind of story…
DISCOVER CHRISSIE… THE GIRL WHO HAD NEVER BEEN ON A TRAIN!
Chrissie loves trains. She has train books, train pictures – and, of course, model trains. But Chrissie has never been on an actual train. In part, because Chrissie doesn't find getting around as easy as other people. Then, Chrissie finally gets on a train, with her Grandpa Henry, to go down to London for an important operation. Her parents and Henry hope the journey will take Chrissie's mind off things.
And they're right: but in a way they couldn't possibly imagine. Because Chrissie's trip from Scotland to London turns out to be quite literally magical – and changes her life forever.
MARVEL AT ARIEL… THE CHILD WHO HAD NEVER BEEN ON HOLIDAY!
Every year, Max, Lily and Jack are taken to Snoring-On-Sea for their holiday – quite possibly the most boring town in the world. There’s nothing to do and nothing to see – even the beach at Snoring-on-Sea is dull and grey.
But this year, something DOES happen. The children meet someone on a tiny island out at sea – a mysterious child called Ariel. Ariel claims to have never left their tiny island, and to Ariel, everything about Max, Lily and Jack’s lives is amazing – fish and chips, fizzy drinks… even the view of the brick wall out of their bedroom window.
And their new friend forces Max, Lily and Jack to see Snoring-On-Sea in a whole new light…
Three hilarious, heart-warming and adventure-filled stories that will have you laughing out loud!
MEET ALFIE… THE BOY WHO COULD DO WHAT HE LIKED!
Previously published for World Book Day 2016
Alfie has a routine. To be honest he has a lot of routines.
But then one day Alfie’s babysitter is unavailable, and Alfie’s parents get Mrs Stokes instead. Mrs Stokes doesn’t do routines. Instead, she just tells Alfie to do what he likes. And that’s when things start to go weird.
Does everything get hilariously out of control? Yes.
Does Alfie learn a valuable lesson? Nah. This isn’t that kind of story…
DISCOVER CHRISSIE… THE GIRL WHO HAD NEVER BEEN ON A TRAIN!
Chrissie loves trains. She has train books, train pictures – and, of course, model trains. But Chrissie has never been on an actual train. In part, because Chrissie doesn't find getting around as easy as other people. Then, Chrissie finally gets on a train, with her Grandpa Henry, to go down to London for an important operation. Her parents and Henry hope the journey will take Chrissie's mind off things.
And they're right: but in a way they couldn't possibly imagine. Because Chrissie's trip from Scotland to London turns out to be quite literally magical – and changes her life forever.
MARVEL AT ARIEL… THE CHILD WHO HAD NEVER BEEN ON HOLIDAY!
Every year, Max, Lily and Jack are taken to Snoring-On-Sea for their holiday – quite possibly the most boring town in the world. There’s nothing to do and nothing to see – even the beach at Snoring-on-Sea is dull and grey.
But this year, something DOES happen. The children meet someone on a tiny island out at sea – a mysterious child called Ariel. Ariel claims to have never left their tiny island, and to Ariel, everything about Max, Lily and Jack’s lives is amazing – fish and chips, fizzy drinks… even the view of the brick wall out of their bedroom window.
And their new friend forces Max, Lily and Jack to see Snoring-On-Sea in a whole new light…
Three hilarious, heart-warming and adventure-filled stories that will have you laughing out loud!
300 pages, Hardcover
Published July 15, 2023
9 people are currently reading
36 people want to read
About the author
David Baddiel
85 books446 followersDavid Lionel Baddiel is an English comedian, novelist and television presenter. Baddiel was born in New York, and moved to England when he was four months old. He grew up in grew up in Dollis Hill, Willesden, North London.
After studying at Haberdashers' Aske's Boys' School in Elstree, he read English at King's College, Cambridge and graduated with a double first. He began studies for a PhD in English at University College London, but did not complete it.
Baddiel became a cabaret stand-up comedian after leaving university and also wrote sketches and jokes for various radio series. His first television appearance came in a bit-part on one episode of the showbiz satire, Filthy, Rich and Catflap. In 1988, he was introduced to Rob Newman, a comic impressionist, and the two became a writing partnership. They were subsequently paired up with the partnership of Steve Punt and Hugh Dennis for a new topical comedy show for BBC Radio 1 called The Mary Whitehouse Experience, and its success led to a transfer to television, shooting Baddiel to fame.
He has written four novels: Time for Bed, Whatever Love Means, The Secret Purposes and The Death of Eli Gold.
Baddiel has two children, both born in Westminster, London, with his girlfriend, Morwenna Banks.
After studying at Haberdashers' Aske's Boys' School in Elstree, he read English at King's College, Cambridge and graduated with a double first. He began studies for a PhD in English at University College London, but did not complete it.
Baddiel became a cabaret stand-up comedian after leaving university and also wrote sketches and jokes for various radio series. His first television appearance came in a bit-part on one episode of the showbiz satire, Filthy, Rich and Catflap. In 1988, he was introduced to Rob Newman, a comic impressionist, and the two became a writing partnership. They were subsequently paired up with the partnership of Steve Punt and Hugh Dennis for a new topical comedy show for BBC Radio 1 called The Mary Whitehouse Experience, and its success led to a transfer to television, shooting Baddiel to fame.
He has written four novels: Time for Bed, Whatever Love Means, The Secret Purposes and The Death of Eli Gold.
Baddiel has two children, both born in Westminster, London, with his girlfriend, Morwenna Banks.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
June 4, 2023
Reflections and lessons learned/the content of this book made me feel…
“You’ve noticed… the change… you know, all this! But most people… don’t… particularly adults. People are so wrapped up in their work now, or their phones…”
I’d listened to the first story before of the Boy who could do what he liked… and I liked it! Realising that I’d already read a third of the book made me feel a bit disappointed… but then the next two stories completely made up for that.
I listened to these in the run up to a week of family time together, and coincidentally quite train themed. My husband is a fan of all things railway, but it was completely unexpected how enrapturing the Girl who had never been on a train (is that the title?) ended up being - part Charlie and the chocolate factory, part Portillo and his daft trousers adventures, this short story completely captured my heart. You can take the girl away from the Severn Valley but…
The child who has never been on holiday was also quite lovely (Colin Baddiel family nod possibly?) - simple adventures with imaginative twists that any hopeful child can get on board with. Ooooooo - loved it, and gobbled up the entire book in one morning - one for the family at some point too!!
“You’ve noticed… the change… you know, all this! But most people… don’t… particularly adults. People are so wrapped up in their work now, or their phones…”
I’d listened to the first story before of the Boy who could do what he liked… and I liked it! Realising that I’d already read a third of the book made me feel a bit disappointed… but then the next two stories completely made up for that.
I listened to these in the run up to a week of family time together, and coincidentally quite train themed. My husband is a fan of all things railway, but it was completely unexpected how enrapturing the Girl who had never been on a train (is that the title?) ended up being - part Charlie and the chocolate factory, part Portillo and his daft trousers adventures, this short story completely captured my heart. You can take the girl away from the Severn Valley but…
The child who has never been on holiday was also quite lovely (Colin Baddiel family nod possibly?) - simple adventures with imaginative twists that any hopeful child can get on board with. Ooooooo - loved it, and gobbled up the entire book in one morning - one for the family at some point too!!
February 3, 2024
My favourite story was The Child Who Had Never Been on Holiday
September 29, 2023
"In 1978, a fizzy drink was, for most children. The most exciting thing in the world. This, you have to remember, was a time before FIFA and TikTok."
What a wonderful collection of short stories for children. These are heart-warming tales with a clever hidden depth I was not expecting.
Alfie is a boy on a routine. After the death of his mum, his dad keeps a strict schedule, which Alfie seems to like. But when Mrs Stokes comes to babysit, everything changes!
Chrissie, who lives life in a wheelchair, is obsessed with trains. Finally, the opportunity to go on one with Grandpa comes to light. Chrissie isn't expecting time travel today, but that is what she is getting.
Max, Lily, and Jack are off on another boring seaside holiday. Until they meet Ariel, a mysterious kid who hasn't been on one before.
Wonderfully whimsical, hilarious, and full of heart, these short stories are no doubt going to delight young readers.
"I will not be lectured about babysitting by a dolphin, talking or not."
What a wonderful collection of short stories for children. These are heart-warming tales with a clever hidden depth I was not expecting.
Alfie is a boy on a routine. After the death of his mum, his dad keeps a strict schedule, which Alfie seems to like. But when Mrs Stokes comes to babysit, everything changes!
Chrissie, who lives life in a wheelchair, is obsessed with trains. Finally, the opportunity to go on one with Grandpa comes to light. Chrissie isn't expecting time travel today, but that is what she is getting.
Max, Lily, and Jack are off on another boring seaside holiday. Until they meet Ariel, a mysterious kid who hasn't been on one before.
Wonderfully whimsical, hilarious, and full of heart, these short stories are no doubt going to delight young readers.
"I will not be lectured about babysitting by a dolphin, talking or not."
April 22, 2024
3 maybe 3.5 stars
A book of three middle grade stories, the last of which is by far the best. The Child Who Had Never Been on Holiday. Three siblings, Max, Lily and Jack go to their grandparents house for a fortnight summer holiday every year. Sad to say they find it very boring at Snoring-on-Sea. It’s set in 1978 and makes lots of very good and indeed funny points about a 1970s childhood and a modern one.
I found the other two stories much more meh.
I had been interested to read some of David Baddiel’s work, knowing of him a bit without really knowing who he is.
A book of three middle grade stories, the last of which is by far the best. The Child Who Had Never Been on Holiday. Three siblings, Max, Lily and Jack go to their grandparents house for a fortnight summer holiday every year. Sad to say they find it very boring at Snoring-on-Sea. It’s set in 1978 and makes lots of very good and indeed funny points about a 1970s childhood and a modern one.
I found the other two stories much more meh.
I had been interested to read some of David Baddiel’s work, knowing of him a bit without really knowing who he is.
December 31, 2023
Who doesn’t love a good children’s chapter book involving a healthy dose of fun, cheesy humor, and magic?! This was an adorable book - I really enjoyed each of the three short stories, but the second one was my favorite (traveling by train is my preferred mode of transportation). As a self-proclaimed dork and “old soul,” I could relate to many of the stories, so I would recommend this to other parents or teachers out there who are just like me.
March 25, 2025
Three short stories in one book. Whilst the stories are targeted at a younger audience 9+, the stories were not engaging. I gave up half way through the last story, The Child Who Had Never Been on Holiday. The storyline dragged and all three stories just didn't do it for me.
December 31, 2023
It was pretty good, dragged on a little but fairly good
March 12, 2024
Baddiel Goodiel # 13
Thirteen Baddiel books read and this one a collection of short tales was pretty average and felt just a little bit dialled in to fulfil a contract really - not that great.
Thirteen Baddiel books read and this one a collection of short tales was pretty average and felt just a little bit dialled in to fulfil a contract really - not that great.
July 26, 2024
Not his best book
June 22, 2023
Three short stories in one book which is of course Only For Children…
Meet Alfie who is ‘he Boy Who Could Do What He Liked’ - children will love this one. Then there is Chrissie, ‘The Girl Who Had Never Been On A Train’ and finally Ariel ‘The Child Who Had Never Been On Holiday!’
Action-packed, laugh-out-loud stories that children will be wanting to read and share time and time again.
Meet Alfie who is ‘he Boy Who Could Do What He Liked’ - children will love this one. Then there is Chrissie, ‘The Girl Who Had Never Been On A Train’ and finally Ariel ‘The Child Who Had Never Been On Holiday!’
Action-packed, laugh-out-loud stories that children will be wanting to read and share time and time again.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews