Not Before You

by Lata Gwalani

Nikhil is 32 years old and has never sat, never stood, and never spoken.
His mother, Jaya, has dedicated her life to his care. As Jaya reaches the milestone of 60 years, she is overwhelmed with concern for Nikhil's future in the face of her own aging.

Fearing the day she might pass away, leaving Nikhil alone and vulnerable, Jaya embarks on a courageous and desperate journey to find support and understanding from care centres and society at large. Is society truly empathetic to the needs of individuals like Nikhil? Is Jaya's unwavering commitment to her son an act of selflessness or selfishness?

Amidst this emotional rollercoaster, Nikhil's estranged father and sister are forced to confront their own feelings of guilt, responsibility, and love.

"Not Before You" is a poignant exploration of the extraordinary love and sacrifice that parents of special-needs children demonstrate every day. It's a story of resilience, compassion, and the enduring bonds of family.

216 pages, Paperback

First published March 1, 2024

About the author

I love uncovering captivating tales in the mundane, and weaving compelling narratives around resilient characters with charming imperfections, entwined in captivating plots.
I have spent three decades in journalism and corporate training with focus on Emotional Intelligence and Leadership.

In my leisure moments, I am engrossed in reading, penning down thoughts, or doing yoga. Whisk me away to the mountains, and my spirit truly soars.

I have four published works: ‘Incognito,’ a psychological thriller, ‘Prisoners of Secrets,’ a gripping relationship drama, Road to Abana, an enthralling historical thriller, and ‘Not Before You,’ again a relationship drama.

My boundless energy finds its wellspring in my loving family: husband Sunil, son Sagar, and pet JRT Monk.

Reviews

[Namishtah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is just beautiful ♥️

I had the honour of meeting the author during the launch of this book.
The book had something for everyone, for a mother, a father , a husband - wife and a daughter and a sibling. Even friends and neighbours.

It left me with so many emotions at the end and tears in the eyes for the way she has captured the end

Truly a special child’s parents are special too. ✨

[Nilshree Yelulkar · Rating 5 out of 5]

"She is the single parent of a child with mental and physical disabilities.
What is her worst dear?
That she will go before her child."

The book starts with this dedication. After reading this, you may feel like you have a glimpse of the whole story, no, my friend, you are wrong. This is just the trailer. A whole sea of pain, realisation, thought provoking incidents waits you inside the pages.

I watched Guzarish when I was in the 3rd year of my engineering (2011) and since then I have been in favour of Euthanasia. When survival of one becomes a punishment for other/others, I think it is favorable for them to make an exit. My thoughts May sound harsh, sharp, rude, which they are, I know. But they are practical. Caretaking is not an easy responsibility. When a caretaker talks about euthanasia, they are labelled to be heartless, insensitive, and irresponsible. But those who take the liberty of labelling these titles, I challenge them to live the caretaker's life for one day. They love the patient,  and they do not arrive at this resort easily. After substantial tolerance they are convinced to reach there.

Now coming to the book. Jaya a career oriented, dynamic girl, falls in love with Suraj who is a yoga instructor. While Jaya has a practical approach to life, Suraj is a more spiritually driven person. Opposites attract,as they say, but they may not be compatible. After Nikhil's birth and his missed cerebral palsy with structural scoliosis is detected, the only mission in Jaya's life is to isolate him from the world. Her motherly instinct does not let her trust ANYONE when it comes to taking Nikhil's care, not even his father Suraj. Tired of being sent on a guilt trip frequently, Suraj leaves the family to find his solace in the Yoga capital of the country, Rishikesh. Amidst all this, their younger daughter Divya grows up carrying shady images of her own parents.

The complexities of human relationships are so beautifully portrayed, it is very relatable. Jaya's constant struggle in convincing Divya of loving her equally, her guilt of not spending considerable time with her is evident. Jaya turning bitter and maintaining distance with her closest friend when she embraces motherhood and gives birth to a healthy normal child, is reasonable and human. Along with characters, death too keeps peeping in between the scenes, as if it waited to arrive and play its part.

Not everyone has the courage to let the world/others not go through the problems they have been. They try to become a survival guide or try to rescue, creating awareness about it in as many people as possible. Jaya and Suraj reunite for the same purpose. The climax is so thoughtful, leaving  the reader on an optimistic note.

One major aspect that came as a learning to me is: A woman's life changes once she becomes a mother, but a man's life also changes after he becomes a father. Most men wait to pick up responsibilities as father, but the conditioning over the years has happened in a way that women tend to take it all on themselves. High time we shatter this myth. I have been through it and learnt it the hard way.

Prologue and epilogue serve apt purpose.

Who says family is held together by blood ties? Strangers walk into our lives and become family.

Why are people lonely? In every relationship that is crowded with responsibilities and duties, someone is lonely. It so happens that loneliness pushes you so far away from others that soon you begin to like that place.

They stood at touching distance from each other, while their hearts pinned for a reassuring hug.

Sorrow brings people together in a way that happiness never does.

Human beings love to be mentally strong until they are forced to put it to use constantly. Then it becomes exhausting.

Is motherhood truly a fountain of endless hope?

Who says only a child needs the love of parents? Parents, too, yearn for the love of their children.

Sometimes we are so blinded by our convictions that we don't want to see the other person's situation.

It is always harder to be left behind than to be the one to go.

Most women lead their lives on the miserable horns of dilemma - whether to be a wife or to be a mother.

I am yet to see a greater warrior than a mother protecting her child.

A mother can apologize for neglecting one child. But she cannot apologize for loving another.

Imprisoned by our past, we are always looking for ways to redeem ourselves.

[Srivalli (Semi-Hiatus) · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Stars

One Liner: Introspective but slightly biased

Thirty-two-year-old Nikhil has never sat, spoken, or moved. His mother, Jaya, spent the past three decades nursing and caring for him. After her sixtieth birthday, Jaya’s anxiety began to overwhelm her. What will happen to her son after she’s gone?

Her health issues and mounting concerns lead Jaya on a search for alternative care options or any solution she can find. As she plunges deep into it, her estranged husband and daughter are forced to reconsider their decisions and perceptions.

The story comes in omnipresent third-person POV.

My Thoughts:

Before I begin, let me say I am not a mother. I am a daughter.

The book starts with a poem of couplets. While it introduces the conflict in brief, a few rhymes feel forced. A free verse would have worked better.

The perspective of death is interesting. Initially, it acts as the omnipresent narrator establishing the plot for the readers. There are a few snippets by Death scattered throughout. Over time, these lose the philosophical element.

The characters are flawed, which makes the story feel realistic to a point. No one is perfect. They made decisions based on what they think is right. Factors like ego, irritation, stress, anger, etc., make their presence felt more than once.

In a way, they are quite typical. People who cannot and will not communicate. People who make decisions for others. People who want things done their way. People holding grudges. All this works well to sustain the conflict.

However, the biggest drawback for me was the constant reminder that Jaya was right. Somehow, the book’s tone overemphasizes Jaya. She is supposed to be this strong single mother of a specially-abled child who does nothing wrong. All her mistakes are justified because she made them out of her love for her son.

As a reader, I do not prefer being told which character to support. That’s a decision I make. When the narration insists I need to root for Jaya, my mind invariably does the opposite. Sure, I can see nothing has been easy for her. But I can also see she is responsible for some of it.

Most importantly, I cannot NOT see Divya. I started the review by stating I’m a daughter. My heart bleeds for Divya. She is collateral damage that cannot be fixed because Jaya suddenly decides she wants to.

Moreover, the repetitive omnipresent statements about how Divya misunderstood her mother or had a wrong perspective got on my nerves. Let’s be honest, Jaya made her choice and it wasn’t Divya. This story belongs to Jaya and Nikhil, and the dear boy can’t even speak for himself, so it belongs to Jaya. It tried hard to establish Jaya as ‘the mother’. I understand but I don’t agree.

I appreciate the focus on the emotional, social, familial, and monetary pressure of being a parent to a specially-abled child. I would have liked it better if we got a little more focus on the lack of proper care facilities and the anxiety parents constantly face.

There are quite a few side characters that seem to blink in and out of the narrative as necessary. Maybe giving them a more meaningful presence would have enhanced the impact. There’s only one central male character, Suraj. As it happens with this genre, he is the weaker person, leaving everything on Jaya. But… yet again, being told that he is supposed to be so-and-so makes me look at things from a different perspective. Not that I elevate his character (nope) but I can see him better than I’m supposed to.

Frankly, I thought the book would end differently. I would have preferred if it stayed with the track it began. Of course, the idea provided has merit and is necessary. But so is the other one. Maybe it would have hit harder that way.

To summarize, Not Before You is a melancholic story of a woman doing her best to ensure the dignity of her child with special needs and how her choices affect her and others’ lives over the years.

I received a complimentary copy of the book. This review is voluntary and contains my honest opinion.

[Pankaj Giri · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have known Ms. Lata Gwalani since reading her masterpiece, 'Prisoners of Secrets'. I enjoyed her next book 'Road to Abana' too, so when I learnt about her next one, I grabbed a copy immediately.

Not Before You is the story of Jaya and her special-needs child, Nikhil, who suffers from a rare disease that prevents him from sitting, standing, or speaking. It is also about the sacrifices that Jaya and Suraj (Jaya's husband) have to make while taking care of Nikhil and the repercussions on their relationships.

Considering the book's theme, I wondered how the story would be able to maintain reader intrigue till the end, but Ms. Gwalani does a wonderful job at that. I loved how the story starts with the perspectives of Jaya, Suraj, and Divya (Jaya's daughter) in the present and then moves to the past to develop their backstories.

I feel that the narration of the past is the strongest part of the book. It enables Ms. Gwalani to develop the characters in detail. The relationship between Jaya, a media person, and Suresh, a yoga guru, is unique, and the nuances in the bond are excellently portrayed. The challenges the couple faced at the beginning of their married life are interesting, and I found myself invested in the story.

The shock of the parents and their families when Nikhil is diagnosed with the illness and how they cope with that is real and heartbreaking. And their relief when their second child is declared normal is so well-written that it brought tears to my eyes. The pacing is also excellent throughout, and I never felt bored.

The characters are well-developed; they possess a fair share of flaws, yet they are relatable. Jaya and Suraj, in particular, are brilliantly written and undergo significant development throughout the book. I also felt for Divya and her feelings of abandonment. The secondary characters of Jaya's mother and Mary are also well-written and play significant roles in the story.

The language, as I expected, is perfect—simple and lucid, with a sprinkling of delectable wordplay and luscious metaphors and similes. Ms. Gwalani never disappoints when it comes to delivering near-flawless prose.

However, during the second half, I felt that a couple of narrative decisions slightly hampered the overall impact of the book. One, instead of using the perspective of Death to convey emotions, if it had been done organically, the emotions would have probably felt more genuine and resonated even more strongly with the readers. Two, the mother-daughter relationship needed a proper closure. Ms. Gwalani almost provided that in one scene but chose not to elaborate. I understand the reason behind that—it was to make the story more realistic—but I feel it would have been better if she had elaborated on it.

However, the ending is exceptional. I loved the twist towards the end, which completes the arc of Suraj beautifully, giving him purpose. And Ms. Gwalani ties all loose ends well. It is a satisfying ending.

Overall, Not Before You is a brilliantly written book about an important, sensitive topic. I have to salute the protagonist, Jaya; she is such a strong woman. As Ms. Gwalani mentions in the book—parents of special-needs children like Nikhil are superheroes. It was an illuminating experience to read the book and learn about the challenges parents like Jaya face in their lives.

I would highly recommend this important book to all readers. Although 'Prisoners of Secrets' is still her best work, 'Not Before You' comes a close second.

4.4 stars from my side.

[Bharath · Rating 4 out of 5]

This covers a topic which should find more focus – with the government, educational institutions, and society in general. Caring for a specially-abled child is very tough (a lot of it falls on the mother), and there is often very little support from outside the family which is forthcoming.

The narration shifts between the present and the past. Jaya, is now over 60. She is separated from her husband Suraj since many years. Her son Nikhil is specially-abled, has mixed cerebral palsy with structural scoliosis. Her daughter Divya with whom Jaya’s relationship is strained, is currently with her dad. Mary, is a help, who assists Jaya at home. Jaya starts to have panic attacks, and the fear sets in that she may die leaving Nikhil alone to fend for himself in the world. A thought crosses her mind that even seeking euthanasia for her son is better than leaving him behind after her.

Earlier, Jaya had worked at NewsViews, Jaipur and had gone on to become a news reader there. Suraj, was a yoga teacher who had a place 'Yog Kutir' for conducting his classes. They fell in love and Nikhil was the first born. His diagnosis shatters them, and also leads to marital stress. They have another girl, Divya after. Their neighbour Mrs Iyer chips to help at times. Her son Karthik and Divya get to know each other. Jaya has Seema to help for a time, but she becomes tired and leaves. After that, Mary joins in. Jaya’s mother Rupa Rani is a source of support as well.

The book starts with a couple of pages of verse which are meaningful and moving, though the author need not have tried so hard to rhyme perfectly. There is some flowery text, especially in the initial sections, of the kind which I find distracting and am not particularly a fan of. Examples below (though I am sure many other readers may like it):


“The mustard seeds spluttered happily in the oil. But their gaiety was cut short when the finely chopped onions descended on them. The sizzling onions smirked loudly at the plight of the gagged mustard, but their glee was short-lived.”

“Exactly two days after the funeral, life went back into its allotted slots, like the spice jars that go back to their allotted places on the shelves after they are done garnishing the dish.”



This is a very moving story with a strong character in Jaya. While all the characters are well developed, we do not see other character perspectives well explained – Suraj’s passably and Divya’s very poorly. The perspective of Death, is a novelty, and is quite impactful in parts. The topic of euthanasia has inconsistent coverage, with no serious expert opinion or in-depth discussion. I am not clear why Suraj’s identity shift was necessary. We do not also see as much of the character of Mrs Iyer and especially her son Karthik, and there are many fleeting references. A pall of gloom permeates the entire book, and the misery is multi-layered with illness, separation, death, anguish & constant struggle. The story would have benefited with some semblance of sunshine, even though the topic is admittedly heavy. The end was nice & meaningful though a little more dramatic than the rest of the book.

This story takes up a topic which is extremely important, but which is not often seen in fiction, nor discussed adequately in society. We, as a people, must learn to accord respect for sheer presence irrespective of the intellect or the physical. There is a long way to go.

My rating: 3.5 / 5.

[Aparna Salvi Salvi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sixteen years ago, fresh out of medical college, as an enthusiastic doctor, I visited the Bidada Medical Camp in Kutch Gujarat, as a volunteer. Amongst the thousands of patients I saw, this mother, aged between 65-70 years, stayed in my troubling thoughts for a long time. She had come to the camp to meet specialists who were visiting India to treat the ragged and frayed people of Kutch for free. 

I remember her as a mother of an adult specially abled child. The father had passed away a few years back. No siblings to follow. ‘What after me?’ was the thought that stung her day in and out as she cared for her son. She had come to the camp in the hope that somewhere there would be a place that would care for her son once the heavens had embraced her. The staff refused to help the mother because her plea did not fall into any surgical or medical category. 

Years later, as I read the book Not Before You, authored by Lata Gwalani, this mother knocked on my doors in Jaya’s disguise. She spoke to me with the fervor Jaya speaks with her family of four- Suraj, her husband, Divya, her daughter, and Rupa Rani, her mother. The fourth individual, Nikhil, the son suffering from Mixed Cerebral Palsy with Structural Scoliosis, doesn’t respond to her. He merely squeals, groans, or grunts loudly.

As the story advances, we see that nobody except Jaya stands by Nikhil. His father leaves the house overwhelmed by the circumstances. Divya, his sister, has always stayed with her Nani, Rupa Rani as Jaya finds it difficult to manage two children single-handedly. The estranged sister grows bitter over the years and severs ties with her mother. Thus, Jaya left with no option, at the age of sixty, is seeking Euthanasia.

Her family members condemn her for the same. Deep within those of reading this are shell-shocked! We have our assertions ready to lash back at Jaya. But do we know how deep her wound runs? Anxiety for her son’s future is Jaya’s permanent companion. Every waking moment, the thought that her son will spend hours groaning in pain before someone has the mercy to feed him water stabs her. Mercy is what they will give him. Then why deny him mercy killing? 

 Aren’t we as a society being too hard with parents dealing with challenged children? Jaya’s family, who has shrugged the responsibility of caring for a son, reflects the society we live in. Not all but many of us would end up calling the mother heartless. ‘Which mother thinks of killing her son?’ is what our tongues would end up wagging about. Yes, which mother would? No mother is helpless at the hands of destiny.

Not Before You urges you to look at individuals with disability in a fresh light. It asks you to not repeat the mistakes Jaya and Suraj have committed while struggling to accept their son. Mary, the caretaker, gives us hope that there are individuals beyond the parents who can share the load of responsibility. Rupa Rani, the maternal grandmother, is a symbol of how powerful mothers raise equally sturdy daughters. Divya, Jaya’s second child, is rebellious and scornful.

The characters of the book are your everyday people. The ones you meet at the market, see them jogging on the road, watch them pray, and scuttle about doing the usual stuff. Just that there is also something unusual happening within them, with them. This book urges you to identify those unusual pains and empathize with them.

[Narayani Manapadam · Rating 4 out of 5]

Trigger Warning - Death, Mental Illness

Plot:

Jaya has devoted her entire youth as a caregiver to her son Nikhil, who suffers from Mixed Cerebral Palsy with Structural Scoliosis. Thirty-two years of tending to an offspring who has never even sat, let alone stood, has taken its toll on her, and she decides to plea for euthanasia. However, it’s not a breezy stroll in the park. Her estranged husband Suraj, and their daughter Divya must be informed.

Will Jaya succeed in her mission which will only give her more heartache?

Review:

The novel is narrated from the 3rd Person point of view by Jaya, Surja, Divya, and Death. Despite the characters being as different as chalk and cheese, they elicit sympathy from the readers. Everyone has feet of clay, rendering the narrative realistic. On the one hand, one feels for Jaya as she tends to Nikhil selflessly. On the other hand, one’s heart goes out to Divya for the hardships she endured. Suraj’s escapist attitude comes across seamlessly.

The book tugs at the readers’ heartstrings. There will be no dry eye as the story chugs to its inevitable end.

The story moves at its own pace, retreating into the past midway, as it throws light on the happier days of the family. My nitpick begins and ends here. Although the chapters are short and crips, the one titled ‘The Beginning’, at 91 pages, is lengthy, breaks the rhythm, and slackens the interest a bit.

The characters are memorable. The arcs of Jaya and Suraj felt complete and satisfactory. Without any doubt, the star is the steady-as-a-rock Jaya, whose relentless pursuits for her disabled son’s decent death will bring a lump to even a hardened person’s throat. Suraj, although deeply flawed, is realistic. I wish Divya had a greater role to play towards the end. For all the empathy I developed for her, it fizzled out later.

Secondary characters like Mary, Mrs Iyer, and Badima play their parts well.

The language is lucid. Many lines hit one in the gut.

With each passing moment, he [Suraj] sank deeper into the dark dungeons of guilt - of being a deserter, of being an imposter.

In addition to living a lonely life, she [Divya] also led a loveless life that was generously coated with the heavy, bittersweet aftertaste of a blemished past.

Mothers like Jaya die a little every day in their frantic attempt to stay alive a little longer. For the sake of their child.

I recommend this book. Keep a box of tissues handy.

[bookswithsakshi · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I can only recommend one book that you should read this year then it has to be "Not Before You" by Lata Gwalani.

I almost flew through the pages of this book. It was absolutely stunning and at the same time - heart wrenching. It broke me in many ways, provoked me to think about human flaws and how we all have our perceptions that differ from one another.

This story is about Jaya, a mother who is determined to take care of her 32 year old son, Nikhil who has been a special child, facing difficulties in almost every domain of his life, eventually becoming dependent on his mother for doing everything for him.

Jaya is shown as the epitome of what motherhood feels like. A mother always cares for her children but caring for a special child needs extra courage and patience. A mother of such a child has to shield her children from pity, humiliation and mockery.

When Jaya turns 60, she is worried for her son because she doesn't want herself to leave this world before her son. Who will take care of Nikhil? Who will understand him like Jaya does without Nikhil uttering a single word?

When life tests your patience, it makes you go through hurdles that come uninvited. You already have a plate full of worries and then life decides to fill it more until the plate can no longer carry. Jaya's husband and daughter, Suraj and Divya leave Jaya and Nikhil in the most unfortunate times. They both had their reasons but I couldn't sympathize with either beyond a point.

For me it was a story of a warrior mother who chose to put her needs in the back seat and almost devoted her entire life to taking care of her son. It's phenomenal and I could feel the plight of Jaya's heart, I understood her better when her own family deceived her.

Lata's writing has magic and a touch of comfort that doesn't leave you till the end. It was almost as if I knew Jaya, I have been with her and there were countless events where I just wanted to give her a hug because is there any other place to go if you have already hit the rock bottom?

This book will stay with you for a long time and it will comfort you in unimaginable ways. By the end, I almost had teary eyes. The pain, the suffering, the resilience - so perfectly explored and portrayed.

[Anamika · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lata Gwalani's hauntingly beautiful novel is about a mother's lonely battle against Death, and her constant battle with Life and everything that the Fates have thrown at her over the years : Nikhil, the special child, her 32 year old son who has been lying in bed wasting his years away staring at the ceiling. Divya, the younger daughter, bitter and resentful towards her mother whom she feels has neglected her. And Suraj, the husband who has taken the easy way out, and is hiding in the mountains under the garb of spirituality. And as Jaya faces her next battle, the most challenging one so far, she confronts her own mortality that looms that ahead filling her with the sinking fear that she will die before her son. She has to take a decision soon. A very, very difficult decision.

'The only answers to the why are the lies we tell ourselves.'

The writing is simple and beautiful, it leaves the reader with a lump in the throat and tears that flow unbidden as you turn the pages of Jaya's life. A life that she began as a happy young bride soon transforms into one where her entire existence begins to revolve around Nikhil. Jaya single handedly fights judgmental relatives, insensitive society and even her own helpless husband who is unable to cope with the enormity of being a caregiver to a special needs child and a dealing wife who is so fiercely protective of the child.

The narration moves from the present to the past and goes back and forth from the point of view of Suraj, Divya and Jaya. Another narrator, is the black-cloaked Death who holds a file with Jaya's name on it as he watches her life unfold, waiting and wondering whether to strike.

As the story progresses, it gets heavier and heavier and opens up a floodgate of emotions. And then as the emotions slowly settle down, you begin to question everything right from God to the government

More at https://thebookstoryblog.wordpress.co...

[World Of · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not Before You is a heart-wrenching and deeply emotional exploration of love, sacrifice, and the complexities of caregiving. The story revolves around Jaya, a devoted mother whose life has been entirely consumed by caring for her 32-year-old son, Nikhil. Nikhil, who has never sat, stood, or spoken, relies altogether on Jaya, who, as she reaches the age of 60, is overcome with an overwhelming fear for his future once she is no longer able to care for him.

Jaya, a vibrant, career-focused girl, falls in love with yoga instructor Suraj. Suraj is a more spiritually motivated individual than Jaya, who takes a more pragmatic approach to life. As they say, opposites attract, but they might not be compatible. Jaya's primary goal in life is to keep Nikhil away from the outside world after it is discovered that he has severe cerebral palsy with structural scoliosis. When it comes to caring for Nikhil, she cannot trust anyone—not even his father Suraj—because of her maternal instincts. Suraj leaves the family to seek comfort in Rishikesh, the nation's yoga center, after becoming weary of constantly being taken on a guilt trip.

The novel is a beautiful yet painful reminder of the extraordinary love and resilience parents of special-needs children must embody. It explores the difficulties of caregiving while also examining the personal toll on family dynamics. The book sheds light on the harsh realities faced by those who care for people like Nikhil and the often-overlooked needs of both caregivers and those in their care.

In conclusion, Not Before You is an emotional and thought-provoking read that will stay with readers long after the final page is turned. It’s a powerful testament to love’s enduring strength and a reminder of the need for empathy in our communities. It’s a must-read for anyone interested in the complexities of family life, caregiving, and the question of what happens when a person’s needs surpass the capacity of the people around them.

[Vidhya Thakkar · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some stories touch the heart, but a few go deeper; they shake us, stay with us, and make us see life in a different light. For me, Lata Gwalani’s works have always been like that, and Not Before You is no exception. It’s a layered narrative about love, sacrifice, and the strength of a mother who refuses to give up on her child.

The book revolves around Jaya, a mother of two, one of whom is a special child, Nikhil. For decades, Jaya has devoted her life to his care, often putting aside her own needs and ignoring the changes around her. Now at 60, with retirement ahead of her, her biggest fear is not old age but Nikhil’s future. What will happen to him when she is no longer around? In her desperate search for an answer, she makes a decision that shakes her world and forces everyone around her, her husband, her children, and even society, to confront difficult questions. This also makes us, as readers, reflect on the struggles of special children and the invisible battles their parents face.


https://vidhyathakkar.com/book-review...

[Prashant P · Rating 5 out of 5]

I usually pride myself on being emotionally unmoved by visual or written stories, and unlike many of my friends, my eyes never well up while watching or reading stories. But “Not Before You” busted all that. With every page, my guards kept failing, and by the last page, all my self-myths about my so-called bravado were settled as dust in the lump in my throat.
If a mother's story narrated by Death doesn’t move you, nothing will. The unfolding of an unyielding mother's love, struggles, and triumph captivates you in a manner that almost compels you to intervene in Jaya and Suraj's lives and negotiate with Death on their behalf.
Each of the main characters is so meticulously inked out and thought through that though each wrongs the other, you still empathize with each of them and their sufferings—a feat only Lata could have pulled off.
Grab a copy, along with a few boxes of tissues, now.