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Attachments: Essays on Fatherhood and Other Performances
Lucas Mann turns his attention, tenderness, self-reflection, and humor to contemporary fatherhood. He looks closely at all the joys, frustrations, subtleties, and contradictions within an experience that often goes under-discussed. At once intimate and expansive, Mann chronicles his own life with his young daughter, but also looks outward to the cultural and political baggage that surrounds and permeates these everyday experiences. Moving through memoir, lyric essay, literary analysis, and pop culture criticism, Attachments treats the subject of fatherhood with the depth, curiosity, and vivid emotion that it deserves.
267 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 6, 2024
29 people are currently reading
719 people want to read
About the author
Lucas Mann
11 books32 followersLucas Mann is the author of the forthcoming book Captive Audience, which will be published by Vintage in May 2018. His previous books include Lord Fear: A Memoir (Pantheon, 2015), and Class A: Baseball in the Middle of Everywhere (Pantheon, 2013), which earned a Barnes & Noble Discover Great New Writers Selection and was named one of the best books of 2013 by the San Francisco Chronicle. His essays have appeared in Slate, Gawker, Barrelhouse, TriQuarterly, Complex, and The Kenyon Review, among others. He teaches writing at the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth and lives in Providence, Rhode Island with his wife.
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
May 13, 2024
Having lots of thoughts about this that I can't tease out at the moment, but if nothing else I was expecting "more" and received "enough" but also "not enough?"
April 18, 2024
Fantastic! Heart achingly beautiful essays. Couldn’t put it down!
March 8, 2025
4.5 stars, rounding up because of the creativity of the Collection from some famous fathers real and imagined (which reads better on kindle than in print, I’d say, bc of all the constant footnotes to tap on!). I loved the agility with which Mann is, in one instant, relating a poignant moment of ducks at the pond, and then in a split second is discussing Brad Pitt or LeBron James or Tony and AJ Soprano and it all feels contained and purposefully organized.
December 24, 2024
A collection of (long) incredibly intimate yet academic essays on interior (mostly) fatherhood.... as Mann deals with his personal hangups from childhood and trying not to project and inflict them on his own child, as well as imposter syndrome in all things being a dad.
If you're looking for a well (overly) written mediation on the emotional, physical, mental, and psychological changes that come with parenting, this is it.
I loved some ways he'd think and talk about it - like a therapy session, leaving nothing unspoken, being extremely open and vulnerable. But I do think this could've benefitted from an editor... these are very loose, at time rambling, open ended essays which I wish could've been tighter, more plain spoken, less trying to show off and more making a point.
But perhaps the point. Only fathers will understand, I suppose.
If you're looking for a well (overly) written mediation on the emotional, physical, mental, and psychological changes that come with parenting, this is it.
I loved some ways he'd think and talk about it - like a therapy session, leaving nothing unspoken, being extremely open and vulnerable. But I do think this could've benefitted from an editor... these are very loose, at time rambling, open ended essays which I wish could've been tighter, more plain spoken, less trying to show off and more making a point.
But perhaps the point. Only fathers will understand, I suppose.
January 4, 2025
while there is some joy to be related to in this book, the essays are very hit or miss.
April 28, 2024
Loved this. I read a lot of motherhood things, and almost zero fatherhood things. A lot of necessary puzzling happening in this endearing, tough, fascinating collection.
May 23, 2024
I love Lucas Mann’s work because each book is a gorgeous snow globe of his life in that moment and the greater world around it, eloquently considered, self conscious, grateful and honest. Attachments is a beautiful bead in the string of his books, a gem. This one stands out as well for how clearly he is a writer who LOVES other writers, and I enjoyed his celebration of the works of his contemporaries.
June 17, 2024
Lucas Mann’s Attachments: Essays on Fatherhood and Other Performances is a well-written collection of essays, one whose craft I can admire, though to be honest the essays didn’t speak deeply to me or engage me fully. I think in this case, it’s more an aspect of missing this particular audience than any flaw in the writing itself (i.e. It's me, not Munn)
The essays all deal with fatherhood as the title indicates, all of them focused on Mann’s experience with his very young daughter as he was the home parent while his wife worked. Some of the scenes are what one might expect, dad at the playground, dad angsting over phone usage, etc. These moments are well conveyed but not, as noted unexpected nor particularly original. To his credit, Mann makes this point himself early on, that parenting has that paradoxical sense of being wholly unique as an experience and also being something that has been done by billions of people over time. He's self-aware in other ways as well, as when he realizes that a dad talking about being a parenting dad can be an act of performance, which lends a sense of insincerity to it. Or when he discusses the way parents tend to judge other parents, but then taking it a second step to it being due to how the one judging had the same inclination (or at least has thought about it) as the one being judged. In other words, we’re judging ourselves as we judge that “terrible parent over there.” This self-awareness is one of the stronger aspects of the collection.
But while I could appreciate these points, they still felt a bit familiar. I had a harder time with some of the book’s assumptions on its readership, which at times seemed a bit niche. Such as a reference to Dad influencer “Henpecked Hall” as “another account that, if you’re at all online, you’ve probably come across.” And yet, I am online (a lot) and have never come across it or any of the others mentioned. I never, despite parenting in the age of internet and also being a stay-at-home dad, scrolled through Dad blogs, Tik-Toks, Instagrams, etc. Nor do I know anyone who did. These and a few other such references made the book feel a little narrow-cast to me, speaking to a certain type of parent rather than general parenting
My favorite essay, “An Essay About Watching Brad Pitt East That Is Really About My Own Shit” was a combination of personal memoir and pop culture analysis, as Mann uses his own experience with being heavy and his very personal fear of layering that anxiety onto his daughter while also exploring the image of Brad Pitt as the “beautiful man” who is often shown eating garbage in his films. It’s a sharply incisive, well-balanced essay. In general, I preferred the longer essays to the shorter ones. In the end, I found myself wishing for a bit more startlement in language, metaphor, approach to the topic. For the most part, the essays held my attention, and certainly had strong moments that provoked some thoughtful consideration, but they felt a little flat overall. A solid collection but not one that grabbed me at any particular moment.
The essays all deal with fatherhood as the title indicates, all of them focused on Mann’s experience with his very young daughter as he was the home parent while his wife worked. Some of the scenes are what one might expect, dad at the playground, dad angsting over phone usage, etc. These moments are well conveyed but not, as noted unexpected nor particularly original. To his credit, Mann makes this point himself early on, that parenting has that paradoxical sense of being wholly unique as an experience and also being something that has been done by billions of people over time. He's self-aware in other ways as well, as when he realizes that a dad talking about being a parenting dad can be an act of performance, which lends a sense of insincerity to it. Or when he discusses the way parents tend to judge other parents, but then taking it a second step to it being due to how the one judging had the same inclination (or at least has thought about it) as the one being judged. In other words, we’re judging ourselves as we judge that “terrible parent over there.” This self-awareness is one of the stronger aspects of the collection.
But while I could appreciate these points, they still felt a bit familiar. I had a harder time with some of the book’s assumptions on its readership, which at times seemed a bit niche. Such as a reference to Dad influencer “Henpecked Hall” as “another account that, if you’re at all online, you’ve probably come across.” And yet, I am online (a lot) and have never come across it or any of the others mentioned. I never, despite parenting in the age of internet and also being a stay-at-home dad, scrolled through Dad blogs, Tik-Toks, Instagrams, etc. Nor do I know anyone who did. These and a few other such references made the book feel a little narrow-cast to me, speaking to a certain type of parent rather than general parenting
My favorite essay, “An Essay About Watching Brad Pitt East That Is Really About My Own Shit” was a combination of personal memoir and pop culture analysis, as Mann uses his own experience with being heavy and his very personal fear of layering that anxiety onto his daughter while also exploring the image of Brad Pitt as the “beautiful man” who is often shown eating garbage in his films. It’s a sharply incisive, well-balanced essay. In general, I preferred the longer essays to the shorter ones. In the end, I found myself wishing for a bit more startlement in language, metaphor, approach to the topic. For the most part, the essays held my attention, and certainly had strong moments that provoked some thoughtful consideration, but they felt a little flat overall. A solid collection but not one that grabbed me at any particular moment.
September 9, 2024
I think many readers who've inherited generational hurt as children with no other guide as to how to handle these hurts as adults (other than "not like my parents") will be able to relate to the experiences in the book, particularly highlighted in the essay about Brad Pitt. Take heed though, this book is no guide through that hurt. It is a reflection of the "work-in-progress."
In emotionally strained environment, the mind is fabulously crafted to be hyper-vigilant and judgmental for the purpose of keeping us safe and ensuring love. In this respect, time spent thinking about the self is not selfish (a sentiment expressed in the book), because it is in an effort to heal something which is hurt - even in spite of how ineffective it may be at times. The greatest continuing myth into the modern era is notion of "multi-tasking." Our brains pay a cost in working memory and ability to feely associate from task-switching. There is a clear and salient struggle between dividing the attention needed to heal oneself with that needed to parent another. The beauty of parenting is that, in time, if we allow it, these synchronize to become the same thing. This is implicitly described in the emotions and vignettes between the author and his young daughter throughout the book, but explicitly contradicted in writing. This is perhaps the greatest miss of potential for this book.
Overall, this book offers an effective whiplash of emotional self-regulation associated with growth and struggling with self-identity in a hyper-personal collection of essays, although with a major caveat by making the reader to do the last legs of critical work by abstract beyond his own experience. This lack of resolve also reduces its force/clarity of purpose/focus and leads to a little meandering. It would be my preference to have had the author to abstract beyond specifics to better round out the essays and connect/reflect more deeply to the broader titular theme of "Attachments." As a note for anyone who may find themselves overly-identifying with the author, this book has a lot of negativity and offers little self-compassion to neutralize it.
In emotionally strained environment, the mind is fabulously crafted to be hyper-vigilant and judgmental for the purpose of keeping us safe and ensuring love. In this respect, time spent thinking about the self is not selfish (a sentiment expressed in the book), because it is in an effort to heal something which is hurt - even in spite of how ineffective it may be at times. The greatest continuing myth into the modern era is notion of "multi-tasking." Our brains pay a cost in working memory and ability to feely associate from task-switching. There is a clear and salient struggle between dividing the attention needed to heal oneself with that needed to parent another. The beauty of parenting is that, in time, if we allow it, these synchronize to become the same thing. This is implicitly described in the emotions and vignettes between the author and his young daughter throughout the book, but explicitly contradicted in writing. This is perhaps the greatest miss of potential for this book.
Overall, this book offers an effective whiplash of emotional self-regulation associated with growth and struggling with self-identity in a hyper-personal collection of essays, although with a major caveat by making the reader to do the last legs of critical work by abstract beyond his own experience. This lack of resolve also reduces its force/clarity of purpose/focus and leads to a little meandering. It would be my preference to have had the author to abstract beyond specifics to better round out the essays and connect/reflect more deeply to the broader titular theme of "Attachments." As a note for anyone who may find themselves overly-identifying with the author, this book has a lot of negativity and offers little self-compassion to neutralize it.
February 14, 2024
summary: so this book was marketed as a poetry/ non-fiction, research book. however, in reality its just a bunch of nonsense thrown together, with no plot of moving idea. there is no research or studies mentioned.
footnotes: this book makes it very obvious the author is a hard liberal and wants no debate about it. when reaching for a book about fatherly attachments and roles, the last thing i wanted to know was what political party the author supported. even if you are a liberal, the first 1o sections are so openly political it completely takes away from the message the author is trying to promote. definitely something to keep in mind if you were thinking about reading this book.
summary i dnf'd this book about 25% of the way through. I just didn't see any point. there was no substance to the book at all. like i said earlier, there was no plot or structure to the book at all. there were random chapters and line breaks in places that made no sense. the text was mostly the authors thoughts about parenting and being a father, but any profoundness was overshadowed by the glaring politicizing of the writing and the inadequate writing style and prose. not something i would recommend at all.
footnotes: this book makes it very obvious the author is a hard liberal and wants no debate about it. when reaching for a book about fatherly attachments and roles, the last thing i wanted to know was what political party the author supported. even if you are a liberal, the first 1o sections are so openly political it completely takes away from the message the author is trying to promote. definitely something to keep in mind if you were thinking about reading this book.
summary i dnf'd this book about 25% of the way through. I just didn't see any point. there was no substance to the book at all. like i said earlier, there was no plot or structure to the book at all. there were random chapters and line breaks in places that made no sense. the text was mostly the authors thoughts about parenting and being a father, but any profoundness was overshadowed by the glaring politicizing of the writing and the inadequate writing style and prose. not something i would recommend at all.
January 16, 2025
3.5 stars
5 years ago I wouldn't have picked up this book because it was "essays & other performances" and that was beyond me (not that I would've known or understood that at the time). 10 years ago I wouldn't have picked it up for the added reason that it was about fatherhood. 20 years ago I would've ridiculed anyone I saw holding it. I have grown. Being a father has sped that growth along. Lucas Mann shares many thoughts that are similar in this book of "essays and other performances". I can't say that I loved this book or that it was earth shattering, but that was not the intention of the author or my intention when I read it. The intention was to connect with another father about fatherhood itself and in my humble opinion, Lucas Mann accomplished the task.
5 years ago I wouldn't have picked up this book because it was "essays & other performances" and that was beyond me (not that I would've known or understood that at the time). 10 years ago I wouldn't have picked it up for the added reason that it was about fatherhood. 20 years ago I would've ridiculed anyone I saw holding it. I have grown. Being a father has sped that growth along. Lucas Mann shares many thoughts that are similar in this book of "essays and other performances". I can't say that I loved this book or that it was earth shattering, but that was not the intention of the author or my intention when I read it. The intention was to connect with another father about fatherhood itself and in my humble opinion, Lucas Mann accomplished the task.
July 14, 2024
Sensitive, serious, and nicely done collection of mostly memoir-style essays on fatherhood. I appreciate the author's commitment to the subject and conviction (shared by me) that this is an under-explored subject in contemporary writing. Commendably honest and unflinching in its depiction. Interspersed among the more traditional personal essays are a few more experimental pieces that are a bit more freeform, almost prose poems. These did not work as well for me, but that might just be my own tastes. Overall, great stuff from this Providence guy.
January 15, 2025
Mann is a great prose writer, and his millennial observations on fatherhood are often relatable. He also hits on a great critical thought sometimes, like how Sally Rooney writes in this weird tension between uncool and profound.
The essays are often way too long, though. And there’s a self-indulgence that’s self-aware (performances is right in the subtitle), but self-aware in a Bo Burnham kind of way that’s eternally recursive. Burnham gets away with it more than Mann, probably because of his funny songs. In the case of long form essays, it makes one long to tell him to wrap it up.
The essays are often way too long, though. And there’s a self-indulgence that’s self-aware (performances is right in the subtitle), but self-aware in a Bo Burnham kind of way that’s eternally recursive. Burnham gets away with it more than Mann, probably because of his funny songs. In the case of long form essays, it makes one long to tell him to wrap it up.
October 3, 2024
Some thoughts in progress: Reflections and essays on fatherhood by fathers are rare, and this book stands out in that regard. It leaves me with a diffuse feeling. There were lots of insights and pearls, I really appreciated seeing how dads' online media is perceived, I loved that essay about Brad Pitt, and some of the playground anecdotes. But I can't tell that I retain a particular argument.
December 10, 2024
I bought this book for a father to be, but I’m not sure I’ll give it to him. Lucas and his wife have a daughter born during Covid and she is not an easy baby or toddler. Lucas’ essays on fatherhood seem tinged with desperation to me. I kept wishing that this family had a home visitor to help them and reassure them. I don’t think it had to be this hard.
April 18, 2025
This book made me remember who I am and the type of writer I want to be. I love how even amidst his descriptions of his life, lore, and love for his daughter, Mann’s writing makes his love for his craft beautifully clear.
May 6, 2024
Funny and insightful, loved it
July 10, 2024
Some essays were wonderful (on animals in children’s books, on weight and body image). Others felt a bit too exploratory for me. Still a decent read.
August 4, 2024
A beautiful, funny, intensely honest book about parenting and just trying to be a person in the world. I loved it so much.
November 23, 2024
I felt very seen; it was also so generous and loving.
January 26, 2025
Very thoughtful essays about becoming a father and the daily work of fathering. The one about Brad Pitt eating was especially interesting.
September 27, 2024
Parenting is political -- and philosophical, and spiritual, and intellectual, And primal. It reaches into every single part of human life--even for those who are not parenting themselves--and is constantly informing AND informed by who we are in relationship to others and ourselves. And I never look to male authors when I'm hungry to read about it, ever. But these essays (especially the knockout of an opener: https://lithub.com/an-essay-about-tin... ) are game-changing, for me. Virtually everyone I love who considers themselves to be a father has received a copy from me, and I'm always hoping that new parents and future parents will check it out from the library where I work. TL;DR ATTACHMENTS rules and is funny and beautiful and gutting and hopeful and one of my favorite essay collections of all time.
August 24, 2024
I want to believe that all dads are able to notice, feel and name the micro-moments that Mann does. The tenderness and exactness of his language gets me every time.
I want all my friends who are dads to read this and tell me how it makes them feel. It gives me hope.
I want all my friends who are dads to read this and tell me how it makes them feel. It gives me hope.
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews