Monogamy? In this Economy?: Finances, Childrearing, and Other Practical Concerns of Polyamory

by Laura Boyle

More and more queer and not-so-queer partners are taking the plunge and deciding to live and parent together. But wait - who lives with who? How do you navigate parenting children? How do you set up your home/finances/bathrooms? Laura Boyle, having interviewed over four hundred people living in every polyamorous configuration under the sun - has answers for you. Forget 101s on jealousy and New Relationship Energy - this wise and pragmatic guide gets into the nitty gritty of living in polyamorous households long-term.

Genres: Polyamory, Relationships, Nonfiction, Sexuality, LGBT

190 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 21, 2024

Reviews

[Jenni · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was an ok enough book. Written decently and organized. Not really any new info if you have been in the non-monogamous community at all. Probably more aimed at people who wonder how non-monogamous people do things than a how-to book.

[Alexandra Peter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for giving me the opportunity to read this ARC for my honest review.

This was my first non fiction type book surrounding polyamorous relationships and polyamory, and this book was truly amazing.

First, as a person who has read fictional novels related to polyamory but not nonfiction, this book was EASY to read and understand. I love the way the author broke the chapters up and organized the chapters in general, the order made sense and served as a natural progression through what a potential polyamorous relationship could look like.

Also, there was not an ounce of judgment throughout this book and I feel that is important especially surrounding this topic. I think it would be easy for an individual who identifies as polyamorous to judge those who view it harshly, but this author understands that polyamory is not for everyone and that more individuals with a negative view are not fully aware of polyamory (they just know it as "taboo").

This book came to me at a pivotal moment in my own life and my own relationship as polyamory is something I have been thinking about. However, anyone could read this book and be able to easily learn more about polyamory and the nuances within it.

Full 5 star read and I will be pre-ordering/ordering my own copy when it comes out.

[H Noss · Rating 5 out of 5]

An amazing and informative read about polyamorous relationships and the different shapes they can take. I'd recommend this book to anyone who has some awareness of what polyamory is and is curious about the considerations people in polyamorous relationships may have to take, especially when it comes to nesting; that is, the idea of living together, even if not all partners live together.

I think this is an especially good read for people who have decided or feel that a polyamorous lifestyle is for them. The book explores not only the pros and cons of different relationship structures but also how to go about preparing for those structures.

If you're in a polyamorous relationship and looking into moving in with a or multiple partners, you need to read at least the chapters on that. It will set you up for success and reduce emotional conflict!

Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the early access!

[Ross · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you are just getting started or curious about consensual non-monogamy or polyamory, this book is likely not the best place to start. If you have been involved in non-monogamy for a while and are considering a household with more than one sexual and/or romantic partnership, this is an excellent resource. It asks questions that aren't often asked, not so much as to be a problem solving solution, but as an example of the various ways nontraditional families, polycules and poly-constellations might unfold and questions that might help that transition.

This is the first book that I have read that speaks specifically about consensually non-monogamous households where there are more than two people and relationships living in the same home. It is something that I wish would have been available in my own household when the three of us came together 10 years ago.

[BookWorm · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was intrigued by the premise of this book but found reading it to be a huge struggle. The writing was incredibly distracting (especially the excessive use of parentheses) to the point that I yelled WHAT out loud on numerous occasions in frustration for not understanding the author’s intended meaning. It was like listening to a friend speak if that friend spoke in circles and interrupted herself repeatedly to add another slightly unrelated idea to the conversation. Perhaps if the book was edited better I would have gleaned some useful information but I could not be bothered to parse through the poorly structured sentences and ideas to get the most out of this book.

Wanted to like this but it’s a two stars from me.

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found much of this book interesting as I do enjoy hearing what other people do within their own polyam dynamics. Laura Boyle clearly took a lot of time to gather information for this book to provide real world examples, which many can find helpful. I took off one star solely because the flow of the book is a bit difficult, but the information provided really is great. I think many could find much in this book helpful, especially if looking to live as 3 or more adults in the same household. Things like “who gets what room” “how do we split home expenses” etc are helpful going in! I tend to recommend this book a lot, especially to those in triads or people living with multiple partners or metas.

[Calico · Rating 4 out of 5]

Broadly enjoyable, but a bit less concretely informative than I'd personally hoped for. The author has a somewhat tangential writing style which is generally fun to read, but occasionally lost me in places. It includes some helpful information and examples, particularly on combining finances, home owning, and children.