Gerry Coster, a heavy drinking, middle-aged journalist of American descent, rents a small cottage in the affluent village of Ravenswood. It is particularly significant that the cottage is conveniently close to the Kings Arms, a hostelry whose landlord, Leo Chapman, is at war with the village. Leo wants to close the business, sell the property and move with his Thai wife to pastures new.
The manor house in the centre of the village has been acquired by the government for the purposes of housing in excess of one hundred asylum seekers under a new regime of freedom of movement for those residing there. Gerry’s newspaper breaks the news to the village and the community is thrown into the national spotlight overnight.
Landlord, Leo Chapman, has decided to run his business into the ground and seeks to be crowned the most offensive barman in the south of England. He further infuriates residents by changing the pub’s name from the King’s Arms to the King’s Arse. However, when the first batch of refugees arrives, Leo spots a lucrative niche in the market and sets about transforming his quintessentially English village pub into a nightclub with rooms by the hour and hostesses hired by his wife from an agency in Thailand.
As the story unfolds, the reader learns of the developing friendship between Gerry Coster and the Rev. Melissa Bailey, part of the husband and wife team of rectors who manage three parishes in the area. Her husband, the Rev. Ellison Bailey is increasingly burdened with a cruel and disturbing form of Tourette’s syndrome which has had an adverse effect on his family and his career. The progressive condition is exacerbated by bouts of compulsive impersonation and portrayal of famous historical and religious characters in public places. Matters become complicated when his determination to share in the nocturnal gymnastics at the local pub in its new guise leads to accusations from a young female of harassment. His wife, The Rev. Melissa Bailey, can take no more and, suffering from near emotional collapse, leaves Ellison and their two children, one night, to travel to the north of France to live with a hotelier with whom she has been communicating in internet chat rooms.
As the story unfolds the reader is introduced to a variety of supporting characters, including the mischievous Scottish post mistress, Celia McLean; the retired and cantankerous accountant, Sebastian; the shady Chief Planning officer, Martin Brown (whose subsequent entrapment at Ravenswood’s new nightclub leads to his blackmail.)
As the public house gains increasing notoriety a devastating fire breaks out within it one night - arson – claiming the lives of two of the central characters. Soon the sordid truth of the pub’s double life is exposed.
Finally, Melissa returns to claim her children and seeks to make a new life with Journalist Gerry Coster, through whose eyes the story is told.