When We Say Goodbye

by Michelle Vernal

Can you love when all seems lost?

Ellie Perkins life was right on track until her boyfriend Sam suffers a near-fatal car accident, leaving him in a coma and all their future plans in limbo.

Desperately in need of something to fix, Ellie has to find a project and when her grandparents old house is put up for sale, she jumps at the chance. Because, like Ellie, the house is broken. And if she can fix the house, then surely, it's just a matter of time before she and Sam are back on their path to happily-ever-after...

In life, when the worst happens how do you pick up the pieces?

A heart-breaking story of love, loss and the path to forgiveness, perfect for fans of Faith Hogan and Amanda Prowse. To be read with tissues

Genres: Mental Health, Humor

374 pages, Paperback

Published March 15, 2024

About the author

Michelle Vernal is a bestselling author of warm, witty, and uplifting Irish fiction. If you love Maeve Binchy and Jean Grainger, you'll love her heartwarming Irish stories.
Michelle's novels capture the same sense of community, warmth and emotional depth, often following families through love, loss and second chances.

Whether set in a bustling guesthouse, a seaside village, or aboard a life-changing journey, her books are perfect for readers who enjoy stories that feel like coming home.

Born in England to parents from Liverpool – often called “Little Ireland” – she grew up on her mum’s tales of Iocal families, music, and humour. Later, she lived, worked, got engaged, and travelled extensively in Ireland, experiences that inspire her much-loved novels, including the hilarious Guesthouse on the Green series. Her stories, filled with heart, humour, and unforgettable characters, have earned her a loyal readership worldwide.

For updates on Michelle's latest book releases you can follow her here: https://www.amazon.com/author/michell...

Reviews

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Keep the tissues close by as you are reading WHEN WE SAY GOODBYE by Michelle Vernal. She will have your emotions all over the place. Once I started reading, it was very hard to stop! The twists and turns made it impossible to put down, as I had to know what was going to happen to Ellie after so much heartache! What an awesome story. All of Michelle’s characters feel genuine and relatable and put your emotions on one heck of a roller coaster ride. As you are reading, you will find yourself cheering for all of them, praying they can work out their problems and be happy once again. You will also wonder how much heartache a person can stand before they completely break down and shatter.

WHEN WE SAY GOODBYE is all about family and the past and the secrets that come out are heart tugging. It had me flipping through the pages like a woman on a mission. I had to know what was going to happen to Ellie and all the secondary characters. Ellie is shattered after a horrible tragedy that leaves her all alone in the world. How will she ever get over her grief? She decides the only place she can be happy is at her grandparents house that she recently bought. Maybe she can find the meaning of her life once again. WHEN WE SAY GOODBYE is a heart tugging story that will hold you hostage until the very last page. Once you start reading, it will be very hard to put down!

WHEN WE SAY GOODBYE is without a doubt one of the best books I’ve read in 2020 so far. I was instantly emotionally invested in all of the characters. My heart broke for Ellie and for all she was dealing with. Michelle Vernal really knows how to write about family drama, heartbreak, and forgiveness. I can not wait to read more by this wonderful and heart tugging author. I can’t wait to read her older books. That brings me so much joy and happiness to know they are waiting for me!

[Nursebookie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great story! Full review to follow

[Nila (digitalcreativepages) · Rating 5 out of 5]

A story of heartbreaking loss but wrapped in hope and friendship.

An accident and Sam was on the ventilator, probably brain dead. Ellie was devastated, her entire life was destroyed in a second. While Sam was in ICU, she took up a project of renovating her newly bought house. As her home took shape, her heart healed too slowly... Very very slowly. It was family and friendship which put her back again.

My first book by author Michelle Vernal, I read a few scenes with tears in my eyes. But though the scenes were sad, the words weren't. They bespoke of healing and getting back to life, one day at a time. Ellei as the main character made me smile. She wore retro clothes, think Madonna, she loved her family, her cousin Gemma especially. Her grief made me cry, and the way she sorted her life made me feel so proud of her. She was inspiring.

Michelle Vernal is a beautiful author; her words shone with the glistening beauty of emotions. She wrote with a deep sensitivity while keeping the humor in. Emotions were portrayed brilliantly. I loved the depth in her descriptions which made me envision Ellie's life perfectly from the beginning to end.

A wonderful story which made me go through a gamut of emotions but left me with a huge smile on my face.

[Carla · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, I seem to be saying this a lot lately, but this book was so much more than I expected. Ellie Perkins has not had an easy life. From the time she was a young girl she has felt unloved and abandoned, and when her partner dies, it all comes back again. This was a story that had me in tears one minute and laughing out loud the next. There were themes of mental health, influencers on instagram, family drama, grief, new beginnings, forgiveness, family relationships and more. All this is done in a well-written and plotted story. I loved the character of Ellie. I was able to identify with her in some areas (grief for sure) and felt so much sympathy in others. There were times I wanted to reach out and pull her from the pages to give her a hug. Don't think this book is all serious and blubbery, it isn't, just like life isn't. Her relationship with her cousin Gemma brings in most of the humour. She has her own instagram page called That Girl and the stuff she posts and the situations surrounding them had me in stitches at times. I loved the description of her cosmetic surgery and her mom's video about giving birth to the girl with the watermelon shaped head. There were so many wonderful secondary characters that helped Ellie deal with all her issues and when she finally listened to them, she began to heal. I do not want to give away the story, but suffice it to say, I loved it. I will definitely be looking for more books by Michelle Vernal. I received a copy of this book from Rachel's Random Resources upon my request. The rating, ideas and opinions shared are my own.

[Kel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found myself emotionally invested early on as you learn the back story that led to Sam being in a coma and how Ellie came to be living with her cousin.

Once I hit 25% I flew through the pages keen to get to know Ellie and the love she shared with Sam and how she is starting to piece her life back together the best she can.

This book packs an emotional punch throughout as is revolves around the love and loss that Ellie has experienced throughout her life. I felt all of the emotions as I read this rollercoaster of a story and watched Ellie work her way through her layers of grief.

A lovely story that touched on emotional subjects, grief, theft, relationships complexities and the importance of living in the moment.

[BARBARA R. SMITH · Rating 4 out of 5]

LEARNING how to go on

We all have to walk in someone shoes to understand, Why a person is the way they are love them.

[Sue Wallace · Rating 4 out of 5]

When we say Goodbye by Michelle Vernal.
An emotional and moving read. Sad story with likeable characters. I do like Michelle's books. 4*.

[Pamela · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an emotional, tear jerker book, but a well written one. I enjoyed it. many thanks to TBC group for allowing me to review it

[Jackie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A lovely story, poor Ellie had a hard upbringing and ended up living with her Aunty and Uncle, and always holding a grudge towards her mother. Until she visited from the Gold Coast when they have an almighty bust up and she leaves very quickly. Ellie has a bad week where everything goes wrong. Then after a talk with her Aunty she decides to visit her mum, who explains why her life was so bad and it all comes clean. Ellie back home starts getting her life in order after the tragic accident of her dearest Sam. Her house all sorted and new and old friends along the way helps her continue better. Nice storyline and enjoyable.

[Donna Ater-bills · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was a very good book see Sam dies in a terrible accident and it leaves her in grief. I can understand I lost my husband this book will bring you to tears and make you laugh which nobody does enough of.

It was a very good book see Sam dies in a terrible accident and leaves her in grief which I can understand because I lost my husband.

[Santina Young · Rating 5 out of 5]

When We Say Goodbye

Another winner from our author. This one weaves in the stories of lost love, grief, and new beginnings. Each character
rings true to life, and we find their lives enriched by their losses and new beginnings.

[James M. Kull · Rating 5 out of 5]

good read

This is a poignant story. Some tears and sprinkles of laughter . A serious problem was bravely addressed and resulted in satisfactory solution. Best of all a happy ending. Nancy kull

[Joyce R. Waters · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great story

Michelle never disappoints. She has captured the feeling one has at the loss of a loved one and the struggle to find yourself again.

Thank you so much! If you haven't read her new books from the west coast of Ireland try them. Best family yet!!

[Becki Chesterfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic book

Such a beautiful book about loss and moving on. The characters are so relatable and you feel like they're your best friends. I'll be thinking about the characters and book for quite a while.

[Judy Remiszewski · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book’

Loved the New Zealand setting and the wonderful characters. I laughed and cried and would like to read more of her books!

[sharon henly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant!

Emotional rollercoaster I actually shed a few tears and laughed out loud whilst reading this !Michelle Vernal pulls it out of the bag again.
Loved it !!

[Hazel Ruth Stockhill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fabulous

From the first page I was hooked. Couldn't put it down, well written, if it doesn't make you cry (not a good look on public transport) then you've not got an heart

[Joy Willner · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book, but I was hoping for a better ending

[Sharon Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

great book

Really enjoyed this book from start to finish & Michelle vernal never disappoints hope there a sequel to this book

[Wendy Duncalfe · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good book, although a bit depressing at times

[Anne Williams · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ll admit that this was a book that took a little while to draw me in – and that’s a polite way of saying that, for the first 50 or so pages, I really thought it just might not be the book for me. A lot of that was down to the early characterisation of Ellie, who seemed far younger than her age – I found her voice jarred a little, as did her total dependence on her uncle and aunt (with a few too many references to “0800unclecolin” – I might just have blocked her calls). I really did wonder if I could bring myself to care enough about her to follow her emotional journey.

But I’m pleased to report that my initial impression proved wrong. There’s a lot about Ellie that’s not immediately obvious – the background to her time with Sam, her childhood, her fractured relationship with her mother, her involvement with both Sam’s family and her own – and as the layers were slowly uncovered, and the emotional content began to build, I found myself increasingly engaged, the pages turning ever faster (with the occasional interruption to reach for the next tissue… you might just find you need a full box).

It’s essentially a portrait of grief, and finding a way of starting again – but it’s not overly depressing, with plenty of touches of lightness and humour. There are also clever parallels between the renovation of Ellie’s grandparents’ house – her future home – and the way she rebuilds her own life and relationships. There are a number of emotional moments – all nicely handled, all tear-jerking in the way they should be, but never ever mawkish.

What I particularly liked about this book was its supporting cast. There are a large number of characters – Sam’s family in particular, but they all have their quirks and distinguishing features, and that’s so well done. I very much liked Ellie’s relationship with cousin Gemma, one of those larger-than-life, relentlessly upbeat characters, who could so easily have become irritating but instead provides both support and additional depth to the story, as her own life takes a rather unexpected turn.

I really liked Ellie’s relationship with her mother too – at first an unwelcome intrusion in her life, followed by an uncovering of family secrets, with a nice exploration of the dynamics between mother and daughter. I also enjoyed the introduction of the twins and their mother, and the way that part of the story developed – as well as adding a layer of humour, it takes a turn that’s darker and a little more complex than you might expect, and it’s very well-handled.

Do you know, I don’t think I’ve ever read a story set in New Zealand before – I expected Australia-with-a-slightly-different-accent, but it’s actually rather more than that. I was particularly intrigued by the work needed to repair the structural damage caused by the Christchurch earthquake – and the wide open spaces have their part to play in the story too.

I really didn’t expect to be saying so, but I must say I enjoyed this one – although I do think it might have more to offer a rather younger reader. It’s a well told story with satisfying emotional depth, but always keeping its sense of humour, exploring both grief and the complexity of relationships. Nicely done.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A searingly emotional tale devotees of Jojo Moyes’ Me Before You are simply going to love, Michelle Vernal’s When We Say Goodbye is a brilliantly written and powerfully told tale of healing, renewal and courage you will want to tell all your friends about.

Ellie Perkins is in a good place at the moment. She is in a loving and committed relationship with her boyfriend Sam and together they have a long and happy future stretching out in front of them. Ellie cannot wait to grow old with Sam and is full of hopes, dreams and plans which she cannot wait to implement and make a reality. However, fate seems to have other ideas in store for her. The happy ever after which she has been planning for so long is smashed into a million tiny pieces when a near-fatal accident leaves Sam in a coma and Ellie bereft, angry, heartbroken and with an uncertain future the only thing to look forward to. The man she loved and had hoped to spend her life with is fighting for his life and the odds are stacked against him. All of Ellie’s plans are in limbo and she is desperate for a project to keep herself busy and to stop herself from thinking about the tragic twist which her life has taken.

When her grandparents’ old house is put up for sale, Ellie decides to fix up the home that has gone to rack and ruin and to restore it to its former glory. As Ellie finds herself up to her eyeballs in painting and decorating, she convinces herself that if she can fix the house, then it’s only a matter of time until Sam’s situation improves and they can go back to the way things were before the accident had turned their lives upside down. But things don’t always work like that in the real world. Can Ellie pick up the shattered pieces of her hopes and dreams and forge forward into the future, even if its uncertain? Or will she allow herself to continue to let the past exert its hold upon her?

An emotional read that will make you laugh and cry in equal measures, When We Say Goodbye touches the heart and lifts the spirit and explores grief, loss and forgiveness with deftness and compassion. Michelle Vernal writes with plenty of warmth and heart and will make you feel every single emotion which her characters go through without being mawkish or sentimental.

When We Say Goodbye features a wonderful heroine who is resilient, courageous, brave and relatable. She is someone you would love to have in your corner in times of trouble and will feel like a friend by the end of the novel.

A book best read with a box of tissues handy, When We Say Goodbye is an outstanding contemporary tale that is impossible to forget.

[Lisa Corkindale · Rating 4 out of 5]

Endearing Book

I really enjoyed this sweet story. It kept me interested until the end. I loved the dealing with grief part and the deep dive into the mother-daughter relationship. Recommended read.

[Tiziana Langone · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just beautiful!

Ellie and her boyfriend Sam seemed to have their future all figured out. But all their plans are thrown out of the window when Sam has an accident putting him in a coma. .
Despite this, Ellie keeps hoping that one day Sam will wake up and together they will continue to build their future together.
To keep herself from going crazy, she starts a project: buying her grandparents’ house and renovate it.
She wants to rebuild the house, making it ready for when Sam wakes up. Because when the house is ready, he WILL wake up. There is just no other option, is there?

Normally, when I read a story, it has to be a rather good story to let me wipe a few tears away. But OH MY GOD, I wasn’t ready to cry so much!!! Everything I was reading about Ellie and Sam, I was automatically reaching for my tissue, because I knew I would start crying.
This was just so heart – breaking… Ellie tries to be a strong woman, but how can she be strong all the time when the love of her life is lying in a hospital bed?
And Ellie says it also a few times: when somebody dies, you get to say goodbye. But Sam is not dead, so how can she go on with her life, when he is still there?

Luckily, she can rely on her Aunt, Uncle and niece, who are more parents and sister to her than her real mother.
And also Sam’s best friend is someone who she can turn to, in times of need.
After I finished this book, I had a feeling I went through an emotional rollercoaster. I felt a lot of sadness, but despite this, there was also a lot of hope, joy, funny moments. 
And most of all, there was a lot of love that just sparked out of the book!

This book is a true recommendation for everyone!

[Misfits farm · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ellie has just bought herself a house. Years ago it was her grandparents house and she has happy memories there. It’s been a tough time of late as her partner Sam was involved in a serious road traffic accident and is now laying in a coma with machines doing most things for him. She needs a project to occupy her free time and take her mind off things. The house had earthquake damage and with the help of her aunt and uncle she has been able to buy it. A book about life and the traumas many of us go through and how life does still go on, we just have to realise and acknowledge it and get out there and live. “Just” not an easy thing to do at all. A book of hope and an uplifting read to make you think about how precious now is. One life live it.
I was so moved my this I wanted to include it here:
They say memories are golden
well maybe that is true.
We never wanted memories,
We only wanted you.
A million times we needed you,
a million times we’ve cried.
If love alone could have saved you
you never would have died.
In life we loved you dearly,
In death we love you still.
In our hearts you hold a place
no one can ever fill.
If tears could build a stairway
and heartache make a lane,
We’d walk the path to heaven
to bring you back again.
(author unknown)
For more reviews please see my blog http://nickibookblog.blogspot.co.uk/
or follow me on Twitter@nickisbookblog

[Cara · Rating 5 out of 5]

When We Say Goodbye is the story of Ellie Perkins and her boyfriend Sam and her road through grief, facing problems of the past and learning to let go, which is one of the most difficult things to do. Now, I did read the synopsis for When We Say Goodbye it does warn you that you will need tissues, well I took that as a suggestion, IT'S NOT! So unless you want to be like me and have panda eyes as I had for a whole day, don't read it while you're at work and keep the Kleenex handy.

To say that this book moved me is a bit of an understatement, the experience that Ellie suffered through was heartbreaking, but adding the components of her mother and her Mom boss to the mix, just took it over the edge. But I did find myself laughing at a bunch of things that Ellie does, like talking about her nanny kids, ruling with a no-nonsense attitude and walking that fine line with your employers, which I can totally relate to myself, as I'm a professional nanny as well.

I cannot say enough good things about this book as it was truly moving for me, and I would normally not read or review this type of emotional book, but there was something about it that called to me, and I stayed for the writing and storyline, as it was far beyond anything I had read before, but managed to fall in love with it from the first chapter.

[Pam Robertson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Set in Christchurch, New Zealand, you get to see some of the day to day problems that have affected the population, since the earthquake which decimated part of the city. What comes through strongly, is the warmth of the community and the 'can do' attitude which exists. Ellie is a slightly quirky, endearing twenty- something whose sense of humour is undimmed by the tragic circumstances which have put a sledgehammer through her life. You are fully aware of her grief and anguish which she feels about her partner Sam, who has had a catastrophic accident and has been in a coma for months. Bi-polar and mental health issues are also found within the story.

As you follow Ellie over the next year, as she rebuilds her family home, you find out quite a lot about some dark aspects which have been buried below the surface. Her sense of abandonment, insecurity and complicated relationship with her mother is set against the warmth of her extended family and the resilience which is within her. This is an emotional read at times and alternates between the present day and the recent past. It is a human story which will touch your heart.

In short: Joy and sadness in equal measure.
Thanks to the author for a copy of the book.

[Monica Mac · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have read several of this author's books now and I always enjoy reading them. Apart from the fact that her books are set in New Zealand (one of my favourite countries in the world), I find that her style is thoughtful and relatable.

Ellie is a girl who has a lot going for her, until her boyfriend Sam ends up in a nasty accident and slips into a coma. Naturally enough, this is enough to derail her for a while but then she decides to buy her grandparents old house. It is full of memories but also full of cracks and needs a complete makeover. Between the crew working on the house itself, Sam's friend Connor wielding a paintbrush and Ellie behind her trusty sewing machine, they have all the skills to make the house look its best.

However, Ellie hadn't reckoned on her mum coming back into her life unexpectedly and then there are dramas happening with her cousin Gemma as well. Her boss Caro is going through some things too and then there is Sam......

Lots of emotional stuff happening in this book but it got me thinking about my own family ties and how important it is to keep the lines of communication open. And, not to sweat the small stuff!

4.5 stars from me.

[Luisa Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

First things first: the reason I only gave this four stars instead of five. This book would benefit from better editing. I found the typos, punctuation errors and occasional clunky sentences distracting. But I’m so glad I looked past them and kept going, because I thoroughly enjoyed everything else about this book.
It’s a story with emotional punch: a terrific mixture of pathos and humour, with a cast of beautifully realised characters who wormed their way into my affections. As the story progressed I grew fond of the narrator, Ellie, whose voice felt like that of a chatty friend. Anyone who has ever grieved the loss of a loved one will relate to her story and I enjoyed the way her character grew, inching her way towards a new normality whilst negotiating a mixture of joys and complications along the way.
This was the first book I’ve read by Michelle Vernal, but it won’t be the last.

[Lorraine · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Life can be cruel and unfair, but there are moments where it can be wonderful too. It's those moments we need to seize hold of and cherish, and nothing, not even death, can take them away from us. We carry them always in our hearts."

Set in Christchurch, New Zealand, in the years after the earthquake of 2011, Ellie has to find a project, and when her grandparents old house is put up for sale, she jumps at the chance. Because, like Ellie, the house is broken.

This is a story about love and loss, about carrying on after a bereavement, picking up the pieces and getting on with life. If you think you are in for a depressing ride then think again. It is an uplifting story which reminds us that we all grieve in different ways and to move forward we need to find our way.