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192 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1975
I am the daughter of the daughter of the daughter of Ursa of the currents, steel wool and electric wire for hair
I wanted a song that would touch me, touch my life and theirs. A Portuguese song, but not a Portuguese song. A new world song. A song branded with the new world. I thought of the girl who had to sleep with her master and mistress. Her father, the master. Her daughter's father. The father of her daughter's daughter. How many generations?February has been good for relieving the drought in my state and bad at maintaining my mental health. The ongoing drought (ha) in my reviewing enforced by study, work doing its best to maintain the artificial and capitalistic hell that is life with a Bachelor's in English, and lack of relationships that are local as well as beneficial are the usual suspects, but the crown goes to exacerbation of the ever present demonization of mentally ill people. Trump's a sadistic rapist? Crazy! Anti-abortionists have a tendency to commit terrorism? Insane! Fascists are coming out of the woodwork, corruption's rife, and people really haven't "progressed" as much as we'd like to think? Needless to say, I've had to get rid of a lot of people in my life. They're the reason why I don't automatically call someone with the knowledge that they will help me without making me sacrifice my autonomy, why the empty terror that is the cornerstone of my major depressive disorder matches the 'civilization' around me, why Nazis aren't dead, and will never be so long as eugenics comes equipped with the adjectives of 'reasonable', 'inevitable', and 'necessary', instead of those of sterilization, euthanization, institutionalization, and murder. As such, I don't have the energy to inform people every time they make the world that much more unsafe for me. They simply have to go.
"You mixed up every which way, ain't you?"Self-care's an odd creature. Sometimes I'll need the life giving humanity that is Steven Universe. Other times I'll need something quick, brutal, and short. Case in point with Corregidora, although the pacing exacted by grad school study lengthened less than 200 pages to nearly a month, which is exhausting in its own, backwards comparisons right. Nevertheless, the rewards are many: another work I would not have purchased had I not been familiar with the 500 GBBW, a text which melds in coincidentally powerful ways with my critical thoughts on the structure that is intersectional social justice, and a meditation on the maelstrom that is misogynoir that takes all of the rape culture, all of the appropriative culture, all the gendered capitalism, all the performative respectability, all of the biology, all of the sir/sur in names, all of the history that will be kicking so long as white people think they're walking over its grave, and grits it out in 185 pages of truth, sex, and self-expression. It's one of those books that will be read by an obscenely low percentage of people who should be required to read it, and of those who do, even less will look at themselves within its context and set about doing something about it. But that's the comfort zone for you. Trigger warnings are censorship, but god forbid we find something worrisome about those who self-censor by reading only the white, or the male, or both.
"What do you mean?"
"You seem like you got a little bit of everything in you," he said.
"I didn't put it there,"
My veins are centuries meeting.There's a quote on the back of this by John Updike that makes me really glad I never read the back of this before purchasing it. I mean, was Maya Angelou the only accredited black woman writer running around? In any case, he praises it for its lacking polemic, rhetoric, and outrage, which tells me he either got off so much on all the sexual abuse that his already limited critical faculties shut down, or he really believed Ursa when she compared her avoidance of an abusive husband to her simultaneous grand and great-grandfather's facilitation of her ancestry. The only aspect I agree with is that it's not a polemic. Teaching children that all was fine and dandy on Thanksgiving is polemic. Taking indigenous languages as state names and creating public (white) spaces out of thriving (nonwhite) communities is polemic. Every mewl and puke of the 1492 rhyme is polemic, as while one may attack ideas via loud spoken insults, it is far more effective to render the space around them a vacuum. These days, I am able to research on Youtube the oral cultures that have survived every bookburning, enslavement, and genocide, but when considering how my generation has a shorter average lifespan than that which birthed me, I don't know how long the children of the next have to wrest themselves from the polemic of a US citizen's education and listen to those who were actually there.
...they might wont your pussy, but if you do anything to get back at them, it'll be your life they be wonting, and then they make even that some kind of sex show, all them beatings and killings wasn't nothing but sex circuses, and all them white peoples, mens, womens, and childrens crowding around to see...This book swears more than I do, articulates more than I do, renders the concept of "the blues" to a degree of pain higher than any white mind, body, and soul could take. You could write a dissertation on the theory engendered amidst the pussy and the rape if academia was suffused long enough with reality to engage with violence outside of the usual pasty patriarchal purview. As it stands, academia as a whole is sinking all the quicker, as the world has no time for liberal arts when science and the military is at stake. These are the days of feeling endangered; you can either help me, or get out of my way.
Let no one polluted my music. I will dig out their temples. I will pluck out their eyes.
She sat with her hands on the table.
'It's good to see you, baby,' she said again.
I looked away. It was almost like I was realizing for the first time how lonely it must be for her with them gone, and that maybe she was even making a plea for me to come back and be a part of what wasn't anymore.
'He made them make love to anyone, so they couldn't love anyone.'
But I am different now, I was thinking. I have everything they had, except the generations. I can't make generations. And even if I still had my womb, even if the first baby had come - what would I have done then? Would I have kept it? Would I have been like her, or them?
It was as if she had more than learned it off by heart, though. It was as if their memory, the memory of all the Corregidora women, was her memory too, as strong with her as her own private memory, or almost as strong. But now she was Mama again.
"it dares to confront the absolute terror which lives at the heart of love"