Beyond Bananas and Condoms: The LGBTQIA+ Inclusive Sex Education You Never Got at School

by Dee Whitnell

Whatever your age, gender or identity - there's one thing we seem to all have in common: how little we learnt in school about sex, relationships, gender identity, and sexuality.

This sex-positive resource aims to provide the inclusive sex education you didn't get in the classroom - complete with illustrations that show our beautiful, baffling bodies in all their glory. With chapters on gender, sexuality and expression, genitalia and hormones, sexual health and contraception, and the importance of boundaries and consent - this comprehensive guide celebrates identities of all kinds - and embraces the difference between cisgender and gender-diverse experiences.

If your school sex-ed was much too cishet, this is the shame-free guide you need to explore bodies, boundaries and pleasure - without a banana in sight.

Genres: Nonfiction, LGBT, Queer

256 pages, Paperback

Published February 21, 2025

Reviews

[Rowan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a super inclusive and educational book. The tone is really casual and conversational which immediately eased me into topics which normally make me feel uncomfortable. The first half of the book which explored and explained different genders and sexualities was definitely something I needed when I was beginning to learn about sex and my only book was pushing a very cis, heterosexual narrative. As the book continues, there are definitely topics that are maybe less appropriate for younger readers (maybe for 14+). But overall this book has something for people of most ages that need sex education. I definitely learnt a few new things.

*Massive thanks to Jessica Kingsley Publishers and netgalley for providing me with an e-arc in exchange for an honest review*

[Ari · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a 17 year old who definitely didn’t have a good sex education in school, I was immediately hooked in when I saw this book’s title at the library.

I would say that this is overall generally a good source for youth who are seeking an LGBTQ+ friendly sex education. When I read the book, I was surprised by the amount of information I already knew (especially as someone who identifies as queer). I think that this is a good guide for someone who is new to LGBTQ+ terminology — and that includes not just youth but also adults too! I don’t think anyone should go into the book feeling like they should be expected to be an expert on queer stuff because the book does a really great job of introducing different gender identities, sexual orientations, and related experiences in a simplified manner.

However, I do feel like one needs to have a general idea going into this book of how sex stereotypically works and how it can lead to reproduction. It makes sense that this wasn’t the main focus of the book, instead it was to inform about sex from a gender-inclusive pov, but I definitely think one needs to understand sex from a basic level before going in.

One thing that I was disappointed about was the information regarding sex between two individuals who are afab. I guess it just wasn’t what I was looking for. As someone who is afab and interested in other afab individuals, it’s always been hard for me to visualize what sex might look like between us. Although I know that there is plenty that people can do with toys, hands, mouths, etc., I feel like scissoring was covered very vaguely?? But then again, this book’s title wasn’t “How to Scissor: a Step by Step Guide”, and I understand that the book was trying to appeal to many audiences from many different backgrounds. I guess just as a youth who is afab who is also interested in other individuals that are afab, it just didn’t answer as many of my questions as I would have liked.

Overall, it was a greatly informative book and I would highly recommend it for reading for other teenagers (even if they are cishet!!!), but I do caution that going into the book, you have to be aware it is a general guide that goes into many topics, some more in-depth than others.

[Kate Henderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having previously taught Sex and Health PSHE to secondary school pupils and sixth former, I was super intrigued and interested in this book. I personally enjoyed teaching these lessons, not finding them embarrassing at all - but I know a lot of my fellow teachers absolutely hated just the thought of teaching lessons on these topics.
This book is brilliant! It is excellent for teachers who are facilitating lessons, but also good for young people too. Hey, I'm mid thirties and still learnt something new!
Really humorous writing style from Dee Whitnell, making the topics super accessible and super interesting to read too.

100% recommend!!

[Allie Churchill · Rating 5 out of 5]

𝚁𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐: 4.5⭐️
𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎: nonfiction 📚

𝙼𝚢 𝚃𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜:
A very informative read

𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎:
Inclusive and comprehensive sex education
Explorations of gender and sexuality beyond binary frameworks
Accessible guides for educators, parents, and young adults

𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝙸 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚍:
The covers a wide spectrum of identities and experiences
The conversational tone made it feel more relatable
Clear explanations
Useful illustrations

𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝙸 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗’𝚝 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛:
Some sections were a little more introductory but I do like that it allows to book to be a valuable resource for a broader audience

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

Truly a well thought out book. It makes me sad that so little is taught in schools that we have to rely on books like these to teach us as adults.

[Aline · Rating 5 out of 5]

the sex-ed book we all need.100% inclusive and super readable. must read!

[Marla · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great resource for my bookshelf as my kids enter their teens. This book is approachable for younger folks who are learning about their bodies.

[Mystico · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is one of the best books about sex education, and maybe the best I've ever read, because we finally have a book that includes sex education for LGBTQIA+ folks.

I love how the author explains their own experience with some topics.
The book was easy to understand, and I still learned something new even though I knew most of the points the author explained.

What I liked:
- It is inclusive!
- The author was talking about many different topics. It's a nice overview.

What I didn't like:
The book was more of an introduction, but it was fine for me. I think the book is a great start for more LGBTQIA+ inclusive sex education.

[Elizabeth Sanders · Rating 4 out of 5]

Whitnell provides an excellent and inclusive sexual education primer here. While informational and instructive, it also makes good use of humor and addresses that any type of sex ed can be awkward. I did find this more likely to be of help to a teenager or young adult than a mature adult, but I do think it could be helpful to someone entering a new gender or sexual identity at any age.

[Kai Kathleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wish I'd had this when I was younger!! I loved the friendly tone of it all and I truly believe this will help so many people - deffo recommend!