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Uncomfortable Conversations with a Jew

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From two New York Times bestselling authors, a timely, disarmingly honest, and thought-provoking investigation into antisemitism that connects the dots between the tropes and hatred of the past to our current complicated moment. For Emmanuel Acho and Noa Tishby no question about Jews is off-limits. They go there. They cover Jews and money. Jews and power. Jews and privilege. Jews and white privilege. The Black and Jewish struggle. Emmanuel asks, Did Jews kill Jesus? To which Noa responds, “Why are Jewish people history’s favorite scapegoat?” They unpack Judaism Is it a religion, culture, a peoplehood, or a race? Are you antisemitic if you’re anti-Zionist? The questions—and answers—might make you squirm, but together, they explain the tropes, stereotypes, and catalysts of antisemitism in America today. The topics are complicated and Acho and Tishby bring vastly different perspectives. Tishby is an outspoken Israeli American. Acho is a mild-mannered son of a Nigerian American pastor. But they share a an uncanny ability to make complicated ideas easy to understand so anyone can follow the straight line from the past to our immediate moment—and then see around corners. Acho and Tishby are united by the core belief that hatred toward one group is never if you see the smoke of bigotry in one place, expect that we will all be in the fire. Informative and accessible, Uncomfortable Conversations with a Jew has a unique Acho asks questions and Tishby answers them with deeply personal, historical, and political responses. This book will enable anyone to explain—and identify—what Jewish hatred looks like. It is a much-needed lexicon for this fraught moment in Jewish history. As Acho says, “Proximity breeds care and distance breeds fear.”

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Published April 30, 2024

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About the author

Emmanuel Acho

6 books372 followers
Emmanuel Chinedum Acho is a Nigerian-American former linebacker who played in the National Football League and is currently working as an analyst for Fox Sports 1. He played college football at Texas before being drafted by the Cleveland Browns in the sixth round of the 2012 NFL Draft.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 493 reviews
100 reviews5 followers
May 4, 2024
Informational

I read this book because I was so shocked by the killing of innocent people on October 7th and all the college protest that is happening all over. My goal was to get a better understanding why this was happening. A lot of my questions were answered. It was done very well and at times very raw. I think, my only questions are now is what is the Palestinian suffering and why are they tolerating Hamas in their country? I am not understanding why Palestinians are not pressuring Hamas to release the hostages and end this war, however the supporters are trying to pressure the US to end a war that the US didn’t start. I would make this a recommended read.
4 reviews2 followers
May 13, 2024
This book is an EXCELLENT resource for combatting anti-semitism and getting a summary of the Jewish struggle for existence throughout history. I’m giving it a 1/5 stars because the authors seemingly don’t notice (or care?) that their conversation is remarkably hypocritical.

I almost didn’t give this book a chance because she starts it off with a clear reference to “barbaric monsters” who enact terrible things on Isr@el. My gut told me that it set the tone for the pub, and I fought the discomfort of that alienating phrase to learn, hoping that at least the exact same actions taken by Isr@el would be equally described and called out.

That did not happen. Not once.

Here is what I learned:

The explanation of the Holocaust is clear, heartfelt and worth listening to. The silence about how Isr@eli officials are currently enacting the Nazi playbook on P@lestinians, step by horrid step as Tishby herself articulates in these chapters, is remarkably cold.

The articulation that the global diaspora of Jews deserve safety and a right to life/existence is 100% valid and well supported. The silence around the P@lestinian diaspora deserving safety and a right to life/existence is 100% awkward at best, cruel and dismissive generally, and intentional at worst.

The content about evaluating perspectives to see if they are hiding hatred via the following benchmarks: 1) demonization; 2) double standards; or 3) delegitimization is a great self reflection tool for literally everyone! We should use this ALL THE TIME. The failure to take this evaluative principle and apply it to the “conversation” published here, I.e. in how P@lestinians are referenced, treated, and/or portrayed by Tishby herself, is remarkably obvious.

I also found it so uncomfortable that she attributes horrors and actions to H@mas while we have Isr@eli published documents proving that these claims were lies and/or enacted by the IOF? (You can Google about the beheaded babies, the number of insurgents, the deaths attributed to friendly fire on Oct 7, the ways Isr@el has been telling on themselves etc and you will find it… despite this she references them). Then any claim to point this out is dismissed by a suggestion that this is anti-semitism in action. These aren’t even anti-Semitic journalists reports - these are IOF official documents. At what point is it not a twisting of truth to blame Isr@el but a revealing of manipulated truth by Isr@el to enact crimes against humanity? So 🤷🏻‍♀️ those heartstring sections really felt manipulative. (Note: this book was published SINCE those documents were released. Not a case of timeline.)

Plus we have a plea from Tishby to not refer to things as being done “by Isr@el” or saying things that suggest Isr@elis as a whole are doing bad things - but in her history lesson, Tishby uses the generalized term for other nations actions to imply complicity of their entire populace. “Germans” “Brits” etc. Same hypocrisy, different chapter.

I could go on. Read this if you want a basic history of the Holocaust and to build your knowledge of or empathy towards Jewish experience and suffering throughout history. It is actually good for that. Do not read if you are hoping for a book that articulates the pain Jewish people felt on October 7 and the pain P@lestinians have been feeling since.

It is tragic that Tishby (and by proxy, Acho) fail to apply their own rhetoric for reducing hate in the world by spreading understanding FOR ALL PEOPLE GROUPS. #notsurprisedbutstilldisappointed

May anti-semitism be dispelled in all forces, may we fight it every single day. May we also dispel the double standards that an historically oppressed people has a right to exist that is stronger than another group. It’s backwards thinking that perpetuates horrors.

#freep@lestine from surveillance, checkpoints, snipers, bombings, drones, arrest and charge without trial, IOF abuse of power, no access to medical care, displacement, malnutrition due to politically engineered starvation, fear of colonialist expansion via theft of their homes and all belongings at gunpoint. Free the truth.
Profile Image for Zoë!.
262 reviews227 followers
May 10, 2024
3.5 I enjoyed this! A productive and, yes, uncomfortable dialogue between two people who may disagree but are committed to understanding one another, which is exactly what we need more of in today’s day and age.

I will say, I wish more was said about Mizrahi Jews and the discrimination they faced in Middle Eastern countries for centuries before the establishment of Israel, as well as the experiences of Black Jews, other Jews of color, and converts.

Overall I’d recommend this to anyone who isn’t Jewish (those who are likely already know most of the information presented here,) but it’s not a complete resource by any means.
Profile Image for Susan.
638 reviews34 followers
May 8, 2024
I highly, highly recommend this book for anyone who is curious about the onslaught of antisemitism and why so many college students are setting up encampments in protest of Israel specifically and Jews in general. This is an age-old issue with new characters, and the authors address why and how this is happening now. Emmanuel Acho and Noa Tishby have such a great rapport and reading the book feels like the reader is right there with them as they discuss these uncomfortable, but necessary conversations. A must-read!
Profile Image for Michael.
233 reviews10 followers
July 2, 2024
I'm only two-thirds into this, but this is not a good book. I'm writing as an American Jew, and I have lived in Israel. The premise of a book is a solid one; one explainer/advocate for Black culture and society (Emmanuel Acho, a Nigerian-American former professional football player) in conversation with an Israeli-American explainer/advocate for Jewish and Israeli culture, working through the legacy of antisemitism, prejudice, stereotyping, etc.

But it's all wrong. First, Noa Tishby is (by training and by trade) an Israeli apologist and public relations expert. This is probably the wrong take for a book called "Uncomfortable Conversations with a Jew," since it would be more apt to call it "Conversations with an Israeli." It would be more interesting and on-point to have a prominent American Jewish writer or explainer in this role, since the focus is too heavily on Israel, its relations with the Palestinians, its conflicts, etc. versus the lived experience of millions of American Jewish people. A conversation on American Black-Jewish relations would be really valuable, and this ain't it.

I think the publication was rushed following the October 7 Hamas attack, and the copyediting is notably sloppy. Particularly egregiously given that one of the authors is Israeli, the Hebrew text (when it appears) is entered backward, indicating that the printer copied/pasted Hebrew text into an English-language word processing document and then it was entered left-right instead of right-left. That's just appalling. Any knowledgeable Jew reading the book would immediately have questions about the overall attention to detail, given screwups like this.

Anyway the whole thing is kinda meh. Tishby spends much of her text arguing for Jewish peoplehood and the connection between thousands of years of Jewish history and the current national identity of the state of Israel, which is fine, but Acho doesn't really interrogate her to the extent that would be helpful on the current status of Israeli-Arab citizens, the settlements in the West Bank, etc. Any reasonable person already agrees that the Hamas attack on October 7 was horrific; extremists are already being condemned etc. So Tishby makes an effort to call out both leftists who back Hamas through a simplistic colonizer/indigenous or white/person of color dichotomy, and of course, Christian or Muslim extremists for their eliminationist rhetoric about Jews in the Middle East. But, like a lot of folks recently, I feel she engages in false-equivalency arguments about lefty anti-Zionism and murderous antisemitism on the right.
Profile Image for Zibby Owens.
Author 8 books24k followers
May 10, 2024
The book's main topics cover antisemitism, the Holocaust, power, money, and white privilege, Zionism and Israel, and the Black and Jewish struggle. The author addresses all the tough questions and discusses how we can work to do this together. It was like the author reached out and hugged an entire group of people. The coauthors also confront their own issues. In Chapter One, they discuss how this book happened. However, in chapter 16, they talk about how the book almost fell apart due to a disagreement. But this book did happen, so we also see how two people with different backgrounds can disagree on a significant issue and still find love and have a relationship.

There is so much information distilled into shorter bits that people can understand and then provides analogies to make it relatable. It also addresses any question you may have about a Jewish person walking society. At the end of reading this book, I had tears in my eyes because I felt like there was so much hope all of a sudden at a time when it often felt like there was no way out.

To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://zibbymedia.com/blogs/transcri...
Profile Image for Emily Pope.
111 reviews
July 6, 2024
I’ll just say this: I am not Black and I am not Jewish, so I don’t have a lot to relate to when it comes to that. Who am I to dismiss other people’s experiences or points of view when it comes to their own life experiences? Who are people to dismiss me and my life? The only thing I can do is hear people out and let people speak, regardless of differences. I don’t have to agree with every thing said, and trust me, I don’t. However, people everywhere regardless of race, religion, gender, ethnicity, or lifestyle need to be having open and challenging conversations. This book is a good example of that.

If you are looking to educate yourself on what antisemitism looks & sounds like, you’ll find helpful information here. If you want a step-by-step history of the holocaust, how it came to be and how literally it absolutely CAN happen again, you’ll find good information here. If you want to learn the facts and debunk myths about Israel, Palestine, Gaza, terrorist groups, Jewish history, antisemitism, and Zionism then you absolutely will find good information here.

There is really only one flaw, for me, about this book and it might not even be that big a flaw. Maybe I’m just overthinking it. It’s just a vibe I got. At times, I felt like Acho and Tishby were trying to one-up each other when it came down to who was the most persecuted, the blacks or the Jews. And at times it felt like between the two of them there was some serious finger pointing. I didn’t really think that was necessary. But hey, they might say that I’m privileged to not understand that, and maybe I am. However, I still think they both handle the uncomfortable moments with forgiveness and openness so I applaud them for that.

I don’t pretend to know all the answers people are seeking when it comes to hard topics, obviously. But I will always respect when two different sides of the table come together to have the tough conversations and learn something new about the other and find common ground. I think Acho and Tishby did a great job of that, at the very least.
Profile Image for Lynn.
1,198 reviews206 followers
June 6, 2024
An exceptional and timely book. Two friends, Emmanuel Acho and Noa Tisby have an ongoing and at times uncomfortable conversation about Jews, Israel, antisemitism, Zionism, and what it means to be a Jew in these difficult times, among other issues. Acho is well known for his book and series “Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man“. Tishby was Israel’s former Special Envoy for Combating Antisemitism and Delegitimization, and the author of “Israel: A Guide to the Most Misunderstood Country on Earth”. (Also an excellent book!)

They were friends before October 7, 2023 and have been planning to write this book before then. The book almost got derailed by a misunderstanding, but then they worked it out, knowing that this book was needed more than ever. They talk about really uncomfortable topics and work their way through them. Probably 75% of the book is Tishby talking, as she clarifies issues that are hard to understand about Jews and Israel.

This book is a must read: for Jews, who want to know more about their heritage and the world we live in now; and for non-Jews, who have misconceptions about Jews and especially about the events of 10/7/23 and it’s aftermath.

Since 10/7/23, I’ve been grateful to find out who my real friends are, and sadly, who they are not (and who I no longer consider friends.)

An absolute recommend and must read for everyone.
Profile Image for Stephanie Sullivan.
17 reviews7 followers
June 17, 2024
I have forever found all things Jewish fascinating. It always intrigued me being an ethnoreligion and I have found it both wildly interesting and confusing. Emmanuel Acho asks some questionably uncomfortable questions to Noa Tishby, an Israeli activist, and she answers them without pause.

This book took me quite a while to get through given the amount of context. I found myself doing a lot of side googling which lead into deep dives. There were some part I had to read multiple times to comprehend.

If you want to understand the pain and suffering felt by Jewish people over the course of history, this book helps to break that down. Including the most recent tragedy to hit the Jewish community that took place on October 7th 2023. You will also learn a deeper history of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and understand what it means to be a Zionist. A term I formally thought was a negative one.

If you want to take the time to learn and broaden your perspective regarding all things Jewish, this book is for you.
2 reviews
May 27, 2024
This publisher should be ashamed of publishing a writer who openly supports war criminals.
Profile Image for Sophie.
499 reviews197 followers
December 8, 2024
While I don't fully agree with everything discussed in this book (and both Acho and Tishby acknowledge and respect that, nor do they always agree with each other) and while I wish that it explored more aspects of being a Jew, I appreciate the concept of this book, the hard conversations and openmindedness and honesty.
Profile Image for Haley.
255 reviews
June 15, 2024
This book has sat with me. I know a lot did the history and some of the earlier chapters are more for people who know less about Judaism - but the deeper in to the book, the deeper and more relevant it gets (in these turbulent times). IF ANY OF MY FRIENDS WANT TO READ THIS BOOK - I will buy it for you!!!!!!! 💕💕
Profile Image for Leah M.
1,655 reviews60 followers
August 23, 2024
I’ve been meaning to get around to this book for a while, yet I managed to read this at exactly the right time for this to be most impactful to me personally. And I’ll explain how I personally related to this book, but first I want to talk about my thoughts about the book itself.

I read this in audiobook format, and it was narrated by both authors. Sometimes they have short, snappy interactions, and at other times, Acho would ask a question, Tishby would give a really thorough answer, and then Acho would talk about how her answer might challenge his understanding, lead to more questions, make perfect sense, or not make any sense and need some clarification on one side or the other. It felt like exactly what the title promises—uncomfortable conversations with a Jew, and far too many people haven’t had the chance to have any contact with a Jewish person, let alone the opportunity to get into these uncomfortable conversations. The friendship between these two is obvious, and their interactions felt like one of those podcasts where the hosts clearly have a friendship and a mutual respect for each other. This mutual respect as well as a desire to learn paired with a willingness (and ability/knowledge) to educate and discuss is essential in having these uncomfortable conversations.

These two people are probably the best people possible to write this book. Noa Tishby is one of the leading Israeli and Jewish activists around the world. She formerly worked as Israel’s Special Envoy for Combating Antisemitism, and tirelessly offers information and education on social media. I loved her previous book, Israel: A Simple Guide to the Most Misunderstood Country on Earth, and figured this would be just as good. Emmanuel Acho is a new name to me, but I was so impressed by his understanding, knowledge, and willingness to ‘get uncomfortable,’

Literally no topic was off the table for these two. Acho was willing to ask any question, and Tishby had no problem answering any of them. This isn’t going to be new information for any Jewish person who is aware of the history and customs of their people, but I think it might help some people understand more about Jewish people, especially those who haven’t had much access to information about us, or have only heard misinformation that’s been circulating for nearly 2 millennia. These two discuss “the Jewish race,” the Holocaust, are Jewish people white, Jews and privilege, Jews and (conditional) white privilege, whether you can be anti-Zionist without being antisemitic, various tropes about Jewish people (Jews are rich, Jews are powerful, Jews run Hollywood), and even October 7th and Jewish fears that the Holocaust could happen again.

One of my favorite aspects of this book is how Acho brings up how the book almost didn’t occur, due to a major disagreement. But in true uncomfortable conversations fashion, Acho and Tishby talked out their differences. Sometimes they would agree to disagree on topics, but they always listened to each other respectfully and were willing to talk things out.

As for my personal epiphany while reading this book, I realized that right around when this book came out, I was deepening a friendship with someone I had met through a totally different common interest. And one night we were talking, and it came out that she was anti-Zionist, and I was worried about telling her that I was Zionist, since I’ve lost so many friends because of it. Luckily, both of us valued the friendship enough and were willing to have the first of many uncomfortable conversations to hear each other out and extend the right to agree to disagree. Ultimately, we’ve both learned from this conversation and many others, touching on so many different topics that we’ve even been brave enough to branch out into talking about politics. And if you know me, you know that I don’t talk about politics with almost anyone. I’m so grateful to have a friend to have uncomfortable conversations with, and it’s helped me grow so much.

Overall, this is the kind of book that I just want to buy in bulk and hand out to everyone I know. Instead, I’ll have to settle for writing a rave review of this book and running to get Acho’s previous book—Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man. Stay tuned to see how that one is.
Profile Image for Kari.
741 reviews22 followers
Read
October 13, 2024
3.5

This book is a good introduction to issues facing Jewish people, especially for someone who isn’t Jewish and doesn’t know much about the historical precedence of prejudice that Jews have faced for centuries. It isn’t a complete resource by any means, but the conversations had by the authors brought up some really good dialogue.

I really wish there was more information about the experiences of Jews of Color worldwide, as well as bringing in stories of those who have converted to Judaism. I also felt that there were some double standards promoted in the book, where the authors discuss not attributing actions or decisions of the Israeli government or military to the Jewish population as a whole, but then they do exactly this when talking about atrocities done against Jewish people at the hands of other people. There were a few other inconsistencies I saw while reading, which felt disappointing.

I think the book did a good job in its effort to combat anti-semitism, and I appreciate that the authors included information about the Palestinian refugee camps that have existed since the 1940s. I also appreciated the dialogue stating full stop that Palestinians and Jewish people all deserve to exist freely in a place that is safe for them. Some of the information specifically concerning more recent disagreements about Israel and Palestine have more nuance than what I felt was presented though, and I would have liked to see some of these tackled in more depth to address these.
448 reviews
May 10, 2024
A book as a conversation isn’t my favorite form and this seemingly had more of an agenda that I imagine will be read mostly by people who feel similar to the authors. The bestselling book list looks like it heavily leans towards over representation of Judaism often without much of it long lasting.
The historical elements and explanations were my favorite parts.
Profile Image for Sam.
54 reviews
May 6, 2024
listened to this on audio in a few hours. really well done
Profile Image for Peter Fox.
126 reviews2 followers
June 19, 2024
This book couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. Truly covers all relevant uncomfortable topics with grace. Noa and Emmanuel have written a necessary and timely book.
Profile Image for Milly Cohen.
1,426 reviews500 followers
August 9, 2024
muy interesante y bueno y cierto y urgente
pero mucha de la info creo que la leí también en el otro de Noa
así me pareció
Profile Image for julia.
76 reviews1 follower
May 15, 2024
heavily focused (rightly so) on understanding the events surrounding oct 7th, but ultimately a really good conversation that is an excellent start to doing the work that we did post George Floyd with Emmanuel’s other book, now learning context to help support both Jews and Palestinian civilians is crucial to increase understanding and humanity in an increasingly inhumane situation.
Profile Image for Jillian.
194 reviews1 follower
May 16, 2024
I wish everyone would read this, Jews and non Jews. It meant so much to have a non Jew’s allyship as part of this book.
Profile Image for Sam.
65 reviews6 followers
May 17, 2024
Excellent book
Profile Image for Darlene.
1,965 reviews219 followers
May 29, 2024
This is an interesting conversation—and, yes, uncomfortable. But it is enlightening to see how conversations late at night can get, where you ask the hard questions and the other person lets down their social shield and purely expresses what we all really want to know but are afraid to ask.

Emmanuel Acho has written other books, including Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man, and he has a podcast similarly named. But with what happened in the East on October 7th, many of us are confused about the whole thing. We think we understand Israel's stand and possibly Palastine's, but what was the third people, Hamas? And what was all of that?

I thought I needed to hear it from someone close to the source, Noa Tishby, rather than the opinions of the crowd. This book explores this topic and many of the misconceptions about the Jewish people.

I was fortunate enough to pick this up on Libby. I highly suggest the audio version, as it gives you the full experience of the conversation between Noa and Emmanual. I will be looking up more by both authors, Quite interesting!
9 reviews
May 5, 2024
I wish all non Jewish people would read this book. Thank you for keeping the awkward chapters and thank you both for this amazing collaboration. 💙💙
Profile Image for Benjamin Farr.
555 reviews31 followers
October 31, 2024
Noa Tishby does a remarkable job -- her phenomenal responses to some (frankly weird) questions is the saving grace of this book. Emmanuel Acho's obsession with race (eg: arguing that Jews are white and therefore part of the oppressive class) is grating and in itself racist, but typical. That said, still definitely worth reading, especially her responses to the new post-October 7 reality.
Profile Image for Ric.
1,440 reviews133 followers
September 4, 2024
I’ll admit, I’m not a huge fan of Emmanuel Acho’s NFL punditry. But this was truly fantastic and I have a massive amount of respect for him for this series. Israel and Palestine is something I feel like I needed to educate myself on, for myself and more importantly for people I love and care about in my own life. And it gave me so much background on how we got here, October 7th as a whole, and the aftermath of that.

I’ve always believed that both countries deserve a state for their people to live peacefully in, but part of that is that I just believe that everyone deserves to live peacefully. I don’t agree with pretty much anything Netanyahu does, but I also don’t agree with anything Hamas does. And I think that we as a society need to remember that people aren’t their government, on both sides of this conflict.

This is definitely a book that’s worth reading. It’s very educational and for sure could start a dialogue with Jewish people in your own lives. I loved how this told the Jewish perspective in a deep and intelligent way, while also reminding everyone that all people have a right to live.
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