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These Letters End in Tears
Set in a country where being gay is punishable by law, These Letters End in Tears is the heart-wrenching forbidden love story of a Christian girl with a deviant heart and a Muslim girl leading a double lifeBessem notices Fatima for the first time on the soccer field—muscular and focused, she’s the only woman playing and seems completely at ease. When Fatima chases a rogue ball in her direction, Bessem freezes, mesmerized by the athlete’s charm and beauty. One playful wink from Fatima, and Bessem knows her life will never be the same.In Cameroon, a country where same-sex relationships are punishable by law, the odds are stacked against Bessem and Fatima from the start. And when Fatima’s older brother, a staunch Muslim, finds out about their affair, he intervenes by physically assaulting them, an incident that precedes a police raid at the only gay bar in town. After spending days in jail, Fatima goes missing without a trace, and Bessem is left with only rumors of her whereabouts. Has Fatima been sentenced to an unknown prison? Has she been banished from her community, or married off, as some have suggested? Or something even more sinister?Thirteen years later, Bessem is now a university professor leading a relatively quiet life, occasionally and secretly dating other women. However, she has never forgotten Fatima. After spotting a mutual friend for the first time in years—the last person who may have seen Fatima—Bessem embarks on a winding search for her lost love.
208 pages, Hardcover
First published March 12, 2024
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19878 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 518 reviews
November 9, 2023
Actual rating 4.5 stars.
These Letters End in Tears is a beautiful literary story that reminded me of The Death of Vivek Oji, and the short story God's Children Are Little Broken Things. Christian Belem always felt different. Different because she's a lesbian in Cameroon, a country where being gay is punishable by law. She constantly feels like two beings are living inside her. One content with boredom, and the other on the lookout for something thrilling. And then she falls for Muslim Fatima, or Fati, a female soccer player who plays with boys. Nowadays, Fatima would at least be a butch lesbian or maybe even non-binary or trans-masc. But back then, she was Fatima, whose chest was flat because she wore binders and clothes designed for boys.
This story is written in a moving timeline. One second, you're in the now, and then the story is jumping back to Bessem’s memories or one of her letters to Fatima, each like Bessem says, ending in tears. This kind of writing can be confusing, but the moving timeline added something special to this compelling and heartwrenching novel. Bessem's guild became my guild, her despair became my despair, her search for Fatima became my search.
The second chapter already caused a big lump closing off my throat, and tears leaped into my eyes. Anger also built up in me, just like when I read The Death of Vivek Oji. It always makes me livid and sad that people can't just be who they want to be. Bessem's letters ended in tears, but after finishing this devastating and stunning love story, I ended up in tears myself. For those who loved The Death of Vivek Oji or those who love emotional and epic novels, please read this book!
I received an ARC from Catapult and Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review.
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These Letters End in Tears is a beautiful literary story that reminded me of The Death of Vivek Oji, and the short story God's Children Are Little Broken Things. Christian Belem always felt different. Different because she's a lesbian in Cameroon, a country where being gay is punishable by law. She constantly feels like two beings are living inside her. One content with boredom, and the other on the lookout for something thrilling. And then she falls for Muslim Fatima, or Fati, a female soccer player who plays with boys. Nowadays, Fatima would at least be a butch lesbian or maybe even non-binary or trans-masc. But back then, she was Fatima, whose chest was flat because she wore binders and clothes designed for boys.
This story is written in a moving timeline. One second, you're in the now, and then the story is jumping back to Bessem’s memories or one of her letters to Fatima, each like Bessem says, ending in tears. This kind of writing can be confusing, but the moving timeline added something special to this compelling and heartwrenching novel. Bessem's guild became my guild, her despair became my despair, her search for Fatima became my search.
The second chapter already caused a big lump closing off my throat, and tears leaped into my eyes. Anger also built up in me, just like when I read The Death of Vivek Oji. It always makes me livid and sad that people can't just be who they want to be. Bessem's letters ended in tears, but after finishing this devastating and stunning love story, I ended up in tears myself. For those who loved The Death of Vivek Oji or those who love emotional and epic novels, please read this book!
I received an ARC from Catapult and Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review.
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November 11, 2024
The author did not lie when they said that these letters end in tears because I was bawling!!!!
Set in Cameroon, a country where being gay will get you sent to jail or worse. We meet a Christian girl, Bessem who falls in love with a Muslim girl and they both start living a double life. Their love is instant, strong, and it feels as if time has stopped for both of them. Bessem wants more, she wants to be seen in public together. Fatimah knows the fate that awaits them if someone finds out their secret.
After months of begging, Fatima relents and they go to a bar together where they are found by Fatima’s brother who is a staunch Muslim. He leads an assault on his sister and Bessem, gets them locked up. Bessem family comes to bail her out, and after she goes back to school, she never hears from Fatima again. Did she flee the country? What did her brother tell the family? Was she married off? Did Fatima just abandon her?
After years of trying to get answer from anyone who will speak to her Bessem is still not closer to finding out where Fatima is. Everyone’s moved on but Bessem keeps writing these letters for when Fatima returns. Will they be reunited?
This book is deeply moving. I remember reading and pausing between chapters because the writing felt so real. The story of Fatima and Bessem is the story of so many especially in places where being gay is a crime. I am happy the author is writing about this.
I highly recommend this.
Set in Cameroon, a country where being gay will get you sent to jail or worse. We meet a Christian girl, Bessem who falls in love with a Muslim girl and they both start living a double life. Their love is instant, strong, and it feels as if time has stopped for both of them. Bessem wants more, she wants to be seen in public together. Fatimah knows the fate that awaits them if someone finds out their secret.
After months of begging, Fatima relents and they go to a bar together where they are found by Fatima’s brother who is a staunch Muslim. He leads an assault on his sister and Bessem, gets them locked up. Bessem family comes to bail her out, and after she goes back to school, she never hears from Fatima again. Did she flee the country? What did her brother tell the family? Was she married off? Did Fatima just abandon her?
After years of trying to get answer from anyone who will speak to her Bessem is still not closer to finding out where Fatima is. Everyone’s moved on but Bessem keeps writing these letters for when Fatima returns. Will they be reunited?
This book is deeply moving. I remember reading and pausing between chapters because the writing felt so real. The story of Fatima and Bessem is the story of so many especially in places where being gay is a crime. I am happy the author is writing about this.
I highly recommend this.
September 28, 2025
3.5 stars
Sad and important book that details the pervasive homophobia and anti-queer discrimination in Cameroon. Devastating novel and shows how bigotry and hate can really disrupt and frankly destroy healthy relationships (romantic, familial, and platonic). I found the writing style a little one-dimensional and monotone, though of course the contents of this book are so necessary and powerful. Though it’s a different topic, makes me think of the ongoing transphobia in the U.S. and so many other ongoing systems of oppression. The fight continues.
Sad and important book that details the pervasive homophobia and anti-queer discrimination in Cameroon. Devastating novel and shows how bigotry and hate can really disrupt and frankly destroy healthy relationships (romantic, familial, and platonic). I found the writing style a little one-dimensional and monotone, though of course the contents of this book are so necessary and powerful. Though it’s a different topic, makes me think of the ongoing transphobia in the U.S. and so many other ongoing systems of oppression. The fight continues.
February 16, 2024
This was so beautifully written and devastating. If you've read and loved The Death of Vivek Oji, I recommend this one for similar vibes.
I loved the format that our narrator Bessem, was directly speaking to her long-lost love, Fatima, as she tries searching for her years later.
This is a tender novel that explores the difficulties of being queer in Cameroon and the ramifications it has on the queer community who just want to be themselves and love who they love. This is a novel that explores long-lost love, the one you never forget and ultimately never getting closure.
The writing was poignant, powerful and devastating and in just over 220 pages, the author conveys so much in such a short novel.
I will not soon forget about this one.
Thanks Catapult for my physical and digital copies for review.
I loved the format that our narrator Bessem, was directly speaking to her long-lost love, Fatima, as she tries searching for her years later.
This is a tender novel that explores the difficulties of being queer in Cameroon and the ramifications it has on the queer community who just want to be themselves and love who they love. This is a novel that explores long-lost love, the one you never forget and ultimately never getting closure.
The writing was poignant, powerful and devastating and in just over 220 pages, the author conveys so much in such a short novel.
I will not soon forget about this one.
Thanks Catapult for my physical and digital copies for review.
June 19, 2024
I liked this! But I wanted to like it much more than I actually did end up liking it.
The plot was engaging, and it presented information about Cameroon in an accessible way. It details how society enables and defends male violence. It was overall interesting and emotional and is well worth a read, but the things that bothered me were unfortunately very distracting.
My biggest issue is with the format. I don’t typically even like epistolaries, but somehow I am very annoyed by the fact that this novel is barely the epistolary it presents itself as. It doesn’t include a greeting or a signature in the chapters, even though they are meant to be independent letters (i think?). The problem with this is that the novel seems to jump back and forth between being an epistolary and being in a normal, present tense narrative? This would be fine if a greeting were at the beginning of the letter sections so that this was clear to the audience. Instead, I just had no idea what was meant to be going on. It really seems like the epistolary format was just so that the title could say “these letters” and no attention to this choice was given beyond that.
The following complaints are less specific to this book and more relate to epistolaries in general but were definitely present in this work:
1. The novel is full of romantic hindsight. This does lead to some great lines, but also prevents the development of the main relationship from seeming organic (there’s more of an insta-love vibe).
2. There’s a strange oscillation between colloquial and formal writing that makes the tone and rhythm feel strange at some points. The narrator knows the recipient of the letters very well, so colloquialisms are normal, but it just makes the writing awkward at times because the switch is so sudden and jarring. The novel is almost fighting with the format.
3. The exposition seems so out of place. Bessem is writing to someone from the same society, but the author is explaining things to readers who are not from Cameroon. Even though I didn’t know the information, I was wondering why Fatima was being told information that she already knew, and it annoyed me.
This isn’t as related to the epistolary format, but the writing is very frank. There is definitely some rhythm and flow, but it seems generally overwritten, as the impact of some very beautiful lines is muted by their subsequent over-explanation (which could be due to the epistolary format, but i’m not sure).
Similarly, the explanation of some of the emotions comes off strange. It takes a normal, universal emotion that readers can accept, and then explains it like nobody has ever felt it before the narrator. It just kind of caught me off-guard. Especially since Fatima would have felt a lot of the same feelings so Bessem wouldn’t need to explain them to her….
I was also looking for a bit more religious commentary based on the summary, but that expectation could be completely on me.
Lastly, good thing I don’t really care about liking the characters in a book because I can definitely tell why people would not like Bessem at times…
The plot was engaging, and it presented information about Cameroon in an accessible way. It details how society enables and defends male violence. It was overall interesting and emotional and is well worth a read, but the things that bothered me were unfortunately very distracting.
My biggest issue is with the format. I don’t typically even like epistolaries, but somehow I am very annoyed by the fact that this novel is barely the epistolary it presents itself as. It doesn’t include a greeting or a signature in the chapters, even though they are meant to be independent letters (i think?). The problem with this is that the novel seems to jump back and forth between being an epistolary and being in a normal, present tense narrative? This would be fine if a greeting were at the beginning of the letter sections so that this was clear to the audience. Instead, I just had no idea what was meant to be going on. It really seems like the epistolary format was just so that the title could say “these letters” and no attention to this choice was given beyond that.
The following complaints are less specific to this book and more relate to epistolaries in general but were definitely present in this work:
1. The novel is full of romantic hindsight. This does lead to some great lines, but also prevents the development of the main relationship from seeming organic (there’s more of an insta-love vibe).
2. There’s a strange oscillation between colloquial and formal writing that makes the tone and rhythm feel strange at some points. The narrator knows the recipient of the letters very well, so colloquialisms are normal, but it just makes the writing awkward at times because the switch is so sudden and jarring. The novel is almost fighting with the format.
3. The exposition seems so out of place. Bessem is writing to someone from the same society, but the author is explaining things to readers who are not from Cameroon. Even though I didn’t know the information, I was wondering why Fatima was being told information that she already knew, and it annoyed me.
This isn’t as related to the epistolary format, but the writing is very frank. There is definitely some rhythm and flow, but it seems generally overwritten, as the impact of some very beautiful lines is muted by their subsequent over-explanation (which could be due to the epistolary format, but i’m not sure).
Similarly, the explanation of some of the emotions comes off strange. It takes a normal, universal emotion that readers can accept, and then explains it like nobody has ever felt it before the narrator. It just kind of caught me off-guard. Especially since Fatima would have felt a lot of the same feelings so Bessem wouldn’t need to explain them to her….
I was also looking for a bit more religious commentary based on the summary, but that expectation could be completely on me.
Lastly, good thing I don’t really care about liking the characters in a book because I can definitely tell why people would not like Bessem at times…
March 14, 2024
”If by some chance you happen on these letters, know that I waited for you. And if you don’t find me, it is not because I stopped waiting. It would be that my body simply surrendered one day from the pain of losing you.”
5 stars. My feelings are so fucking hurt right now I don’t know what to do. This was gut wrenching. Beautifully written and told but my God am I in pain right now. In the back of my mind I knew where things were going but I was full of hope that it wouldn’t. Reader, it went there and I’m still shook. This is one of those books that I’m at a loss for words and am not sure how to review this properly. All I have are emotions. Lots and lots of emotions.
I’m a ball of emotions right now but this was a heartbreaking but important read and I would recommend it highly. Just go in knowing that it’s a tragedy but one worth reading and experiencing. I might come back and clean this review up and give this book a proper review one day but for now this is all I’ve got.
{Challenges completed:
✔A Million More Pages: A Thrifting We Will Go Challenge
✔Turn of a Page: Restaurant Hopping Challenge
✔For Love of a Book: We Need a Cupid Challenge
✔For Love of a Book Disney’s 100th Celebration Challenge}
5 stars. My feelings are so fucking hurt right now I don’t know what to do. This was gut wrenching. Beautifully written and told but my God am I in pain right now. In the back of my mind I knew where things were going but I was full of hope that it wouldn’t. Reader, it went there and I’m still shook. This is one of those books that I’m at a loss for words and am not sure how to review this properly. All I have are emotions. Lots and lots of emotions.
I’m a ball of emotions right now but this was a heartbreaking but important read and I would recommend it highly. Just go in knowing that it’s a tragedy but one worth reading and experiencing. I might come back and clean this review up and give this book a proper review one day but for now this is all I’ve got.
{Challenges completed:
✔A Million More Pages: A Thrifting We Will Go Challenge
✔Turn of a Page: Restaurant Hopping Challenge
✔For Love of a Book: We Need a Cupid Challenge
✔For Love of a Book Disney’s 100th Celebration Challenge}
April 29, 2024
3.5 stars. The epistolary style didn't quite do this story justice, although it did aid in making it a shorter story/quicker read. I loved the bones of this but there wasn't quite enough oomph for me. Definitely painted a picture of what it's like to be queer in Cameroon.
April 28, 2024
Such a heart-breaking story! I didn’t realize what being queer was like in Cameroon, so I’m really glad I read this to get more of an understanding. But I’m also glad I read this to know the love story between Bess and Fatima. I really loved that this was written in letters to Fatima (except sometimes they were written as if to someone else because Fatima’s name would be written instead of “you” and that confused me?)
April 29, 2024
Bessem is complete chaos. Honestly work.
April 14, 2024
Extremely eye opening to the nightmare that queer people face in other countries, seen through various ways of coping. The realistic outcome really sells this on how horrific being disregarded at every turn can be, but that there can be hope in persevering and exploring different options to seek justice. The author does a very good job of expressing that the majority of the book is read as if to Fatima, while some chapters read in the present. Overall, glad I read this one.
November 4, 2025
5 stars 🌟
I don't even know what to say. 5 stars. Absolutely fantastic. Incredible writing and very moving story. Though unfortunately there was only 1 letter, i was.hoping for more. But the title is apt otherwise, did leave me in tears!
Reviewed on 4th November 2025
DISCLAIMER-All opinions on books I’ve read and reviewed are my own, and are with no intention to offend anyone. If you feel offended by my reviews, let me know how I can fix it.
How I Rate-
1 star- Hardly liked anything/ was disappointed
2 star- Had potential but did not deliver/ was disappointed
3 stars- Was ok but could have been better/ was average / Enjoyed a lot but something was missing
4 stars- Loved a lot but something was missing
5 stars- Loved it/ new favourite
I don't even know what to say. 5 stars. Absolutely fantastic. Incredible writing and very moving story. Though unfortunately there was only 1 letter, i was.hoping for more. But the title is apt otherwise, did leave me in tears!
Reviewed on 4th November 2025
DISCLAIMER-All opinions on books I’ve read and reviewed are my own, and are with no intention to offend anyone. If you feel offended by my reviews, let me know how I can fix it.
How I Rate-
1 star- Hardly liked anything/ was disappointed
2 star- Had potential but did not deliver/ was disappointed
3 stars- Was ok but could have been better/ was average / Enjoyed a lot but something was missing
4 stars- Loved a lot but something was missing
5 stars- Loved it/ new favourite
April 28, 2024
God I loved this book. I did accidentally have to speed through in 2 hours before book club but I loved it.
December 26, 2023
4.5 stars rounded slightly down. This was short and very sweet, a story of young love and how it can stay with you for decades. This was a really special read for me in many ways; partially because I'm very ignorant and know next to nothing about Cameroon or life there and this really challenged some biases I didn't realize I had, and partially because it really hit me where it hurt in reminding me of the intensity of relationships between women, especially at that age, and how deep it can be. This one doesn't have a happy ending, unfortunately, and I wished it was a bit longer, but it told a really important story that I hope a lot of people have the pleasure and privilege of reading.
September 8, 2024
Each of these letters ends in tears, Fati. Years and years have gone by and I’m still stuck in my memories of you, stuck in this place between misery and sweet recollection.
2.5 stars. I wish I were giving this a higher rating, I really do. The book is everything it says on the tin: an emotional literary fiction book about two girls in love in a time and place where that love is illegal, and a shifting narrative between the present and past. Several of the chapters take the form of letters from Bessem to Fatima, as she goes on a search for Fatima after their long years of separation.
With material like this, it's easy to make me emotional, and the book did succeed at this at first. A country where being gay is literally punishable by law, with corrupt police and citizens willing to discipline you on the spot, where secrecy and shame seem to go hand in hand with your sexuality. A lot of stark, boldfaced violence. But there was also a lot of beauty and sweetness, especially in the beginning. I loved the meet-cute so much, and all the titbits we got about their courtship and the beginning of their relationship. Fatima is so dapper and charming in a way that's so easy to fall for, even when she gets a little cocky and annoying. (I loved those passages about how she owned her masculinity, something which isn't exclusive to men.) The narrative jumps around a fair bit, and we kept going back to uncover parts of their life together, how they were driven apart, and what life looks like now as Bessem starts her search. The writing was good; not particularly striking, but really easy to read and really good at capturing the characters.
I don't know when my opinion started to go down, but it did eventually. I do feel like the writing quality took a dip, or maybe I just started to notice things that annoyed me. A lot of the dialogue was stiff in a way where I was constantly reminded that I was reading a book. Who talks like that? Simple conversations between friends or old acquaintances or even strangers felt inauthentic and staged, and it kept pulling me out of the narrative. At some point, the way the narrative kept jumping around also got on my nerves. Like, I didn't mind going back for the scenes when they were younger. But there were several instances where we'd flash back to a week ago or a day ago, and a lot of it felt like stuff that could have been related to the reader chronologically? IDK. I'm being picky. The book, or at least the characters, sometimes got a little essentialist in terms of gender and sexuality, which was frustrating to read, even though I understood where the attitudes came from.
And I just didn't love how things turned out in the end? The sudden introduction of the possibility of Bessem being an unreliable narrator, a bunch of reveals and info-dropping that came out of nowhere. The ending wasn't very surprising to me, but the steps we took to get there... IDK. It elicited no emotion from me. Those last few chapters were ALL tell, with a lot of characters saying a bunch of stuff out loud that could have been left for prose or metaphor or some sort of subtlety. Besides not being surprising, I also just didn't... enjoy it?
In the end, I do think it comes down to the writing. It wasn't bad! But with this type of story, for it to really hit the spot, I needed there to be something remarkable about it. I still liked it for its themes, and I did enjoy the characters, and the way the author unapologetically delved into all the dark sides of this society. But this just wasn't a favourite.
Content warnings:
January 8, 2024
These Letters End in Tears is a beautiful debut novel that I cannot recommend enough.
The story takes place in Cameroon where a woman, Bessem, is looking for her lost love, Fatima, who she lost contact with after a brutal homophobic attack.
While the premise of the story can be very hard to swallow and unpleasant to even hear about, Musih Tedji Xaviere does an excellent job of showing the beauty of LGBTQ+ relationships, both romantic and platonic, under oppressive government rule. As a matter of fact, my favorite aspects of the book were seeing Bessem interact with other queer people in Cameroon. I loved seeing how even under dire circumstances LGBTQ people still find ways to persevere and build community.
If you enjoy reading books about the lives of people outside of the United States, LGBTQ+ people's experiences and relationships, and don't mind a sad story, I highly recommend These Letters End in Tears! Musih Tedji Xaviere is an author to keep an eye out for.
Thank you Netgalley and Catapult for sending me an advance reader copy in exchange for this honest review.
The story takes place in Cameroon where a woman, Bessem, is looking for her lost love, Fatima, who she lost contact with after a brutal homophobic attack.
While the premise of the story can be very hard to swallow and unpleasant to even hear about, Musih Tedji Xaviere does an excellent job of showing the beauty of LGBTQ+ relationships, both romantic and platonic, under oppressive government rule. As a matter of fact, my favorite aspects of the book were seeing Bessem interact with other queer people in Cameroon. I loved seeing how even under dire circumstances LGBTQ people still find ways to persevere and build community.
If you enjoy reading books about the lives of people outside of the United States, LGBTQ+ people's experiences and relationships, and don't mind a sad story, I highly recommend These Letters End in Tears! Musih Tedji Xaviere is an author to keep an eye out for.
Thank you Netgalley and Catapult for sending me an advance reader copy in exchange for this honest review.
December 11, 2024
Grein, as per ush
March 16, 2024
This one was a gut puncher. It is so so so beautifully written, you feel like you are there experiencing everything with the characters, all to be saddened by the ending. Unfortunately, I am sure people face these same problems irl and this book helps shed a light onto that.
February 24, 2025
3 stars
★★★
the letters didn’t end fast enough!
i didn’t connect with any of the characters… like at all. i also had no idea what was going on most of the time but the last 60 pages saved this from being a 2-star.
★★★
the letters didn’t end fast enough!
i didn’t connect with any of the characters… like at all. i also had no idea what was going on most of the time but the last 60 pages saved this from being a 2-star.
February 5, 2024
gorgeous. lived for this
April 20, 2024
Sobbing.
May 2, 2024
fucking hell
September 18, 2025
These Letters End in Tears by Musih Tedji Xaviere follows Bessem, who falls for Fatima, a Muslim woman. Things get messy because being queer in Cameroon is illegal. Then a police raid happens, Fatima vanishes, and Bessem spends the next thirteen years writing her letters she never sends. The book explores themes of repression, LGBTQ+ life in Cameroon, and grief.
I loved reading about being queer in Cameroon, which I’ll admit is a bit out of my radar (I think this is my first time reading a book set there?). It was frustrating and sad to read about the bullying and political intimidation/repression surrounding the topic. The writing was excellent and the characters were great too, which made me care about them big time. Like, you cannot help but worry about whatever happened to Fatima (is she alive? Hurt? Imprisoned? Married to god knows who?).
I was a bit worried this would be trauma porn, but I found the book covers political homophobia and its (at times violent) repression in a clinical way—not dramatized, but just there because it is. The focus instead was on the grief and frustration that follows, as well as how it impacts society (heterosexual “us” vs. the “abnormal other,” I guess?). I liked that the emphasis was put on the ways LGBTQ+ people find spaces to be themselves, even if it’s not always safe.
The title screams “this won’t end well,” but did I still hope for a happy ending? You bet.
I loved reading about being queer in Cameroon, which I’ll admit is a bit out of my radar (I think this is my first time reading a book set there?). It was frustrating and sad to read about the bullying and political intimidation/repression surrounding the topic. The writing was excellent and the characters were great too, which made me care about them big time. Like, you cannot help but worry about whatever happened to Fatima (is she alive? Hurt? Imprisoned? Married to god knows who?).
I was a bit worried this would be trauma porn, but I found the book covers political homophobia and its (at times violent) repression in a clinical way—not dramatized, but just there because it is. The focus instead was on the grief and frustration that follows, as well as how it impacts society (heterosexual “us” vs. the “abnormal other,” I guess?). I liked that the emphasis was put on the ways LGBTQ+ people find spaces to be themselves, even if it’s not always safe.
The title screams “this won’t end well,” but did I still hope for a happy ending? You bet.
August 7, 2025
4.25 stars
June 8, 2025
I told myself a couple of weeks ago: maybe I’m way too easy with my 5 ⭐️ handouts. I need to be tougher. Well… then stop giving me these books that I want to give 5 ⭐️’s to! What do you want me to say?!
This was absolutely the right time for me to read this book. Pride month, yes. Obvious. But, also… at a time here in the US when hatred, bigotry, homophobia and the rounding up of human beings is escalating.
The author does a really great job with bringing the location of Cameroon to life here and this is definitely a book where location is like a lead character.
I found my heart aching for the MC who is the 1st person perspective in this. Her challenges, her journey, the relationships… there was so much going on (but not TOO much) and I had a difficult time putting this down and not getting to the ending.
Check TW’s… but this is a really solid and important read.
This was absolutely the right time for me to read this book. Pride month, yes. Obvious. But, also… at a time here in the US when hatred, bigotry, homophobia and the rounding up of human beings is escalating.
The author does a really great job with bringing the location of Cameroon to life here and this is definitely a book where location is like a lead character.
I found my heart aching for the MC who is the 1st person perspective in this. Her challenges, her journey, the relationships… there was so much going on (but not TOO much) and I had a difficult time putting this down and not getting to the ending.
Check TW’s… but this is a really solid and important read.
March 25, 2024
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ a full 5 stars!
My heart is broken
The story follows Bessem and Fatima who fall in love in Camaroon where homophobia and the law prevents them from doing so.
When Fatima suddenly disappears, Bessems world collapses.
13 years later an opportunity arises and Bessem starts her search for the truth of Fati’s whereabouts.
It is a mix between letters Bessem writes to Fatima and Bessems search for the truth.
This story held me so tight I was unable to put it down and read it in 2 sittings.
It is tender and beautiful and devastating and heartbreaking.
I can see myself reading this again in the near future!
My heart is broken
The story follows Bessem and Fatima who fall in love in Camaroon where homophobia and the law prevents them from doing so.
When Fatima suddenly disappears, Bessems world collapses.
13 years later an opportunity arises and Bessem starts her search for the truth of Fati’s whereabouts.
It is a mix between letters Bessem writes to Fatima and Bessems search for the truth.
This story held me so tight I was unable to put it down and read it in 2 sittings.
It is tender and beautiful and devastating and heartbreaking.
I can see myself reading this again in the near future!
July 1, 2024
holy fucking hell. this book ended in tears only. I don't know how to review it. a new favourite for sure. bessem and fatima are everything to me 3
July 8, 2025
Totally predicted the ending and it still destroyed me.
May 6, 2025
Ik vond dit een erg interessant boek om te lezen. Qua schrijfstijl vond ik het prachtig en leest het vaak als een soort poëtische vertelling, maar wel op een fijne manier.
Het format dat het eigenlijk allemaal brieven zijn naar Bessem’s oude geliefde Fati vond ik ook een leuke manier van vertellen. Soms was de tijd wel moeilijk te volgen, of je nou in het nu of in het verleden was.
Ik vond het erg mooi maar het is ook een schrijnend en verdrietig verhaal over liefde die niet mag bestaan in een land en over mensen die niets liever willen dan gewoon liefhebben die ze lief willen hebben. Mooi om zo’n perspectief weer eens te lezen en weer even stil te staan bij het feit dat acceptatie niet overal op de wereld is en je opgesloten kunt worden simpelweg omdat je van iemand houdt. Daarnaast ook de weg vinden binnen het geloof en de acceptatie hier in, vond ik ook mooi beschreven. Ook wel het een en ander geleerd over de koloniale geschiedenis van Kameroen.
Ondanks dat ik het wel echt een mooi boek vond, heeft het me toch om een of andere reden net niet helemaal gepakt, maar ik kan er niet echt de vinger opleggen wat dat precies is. Misschien vond ik het toch een beetje voorspelbaar hoe het verhaal zou eindigen. Maar denk toch wel 3.5/5 ⭐️
Het format dat het eigenlijk allemaal brieven zijn naar Bessem’s oude geliefde Fati vond ik ook een leuke manier van vertellen. Soms was de tijd wel moeilijk te volgen, of je nou in het nu of in het verleden was.
Ik vond het erg mooi maar het is ook een schrijnend en verdrietig verhaal over liefde die niet mag bestaan in een land en over mensen die niets liever willen dan gewoon liefhebben die ze lief willen hebben. Mooi om zo’n perspectief weer eens te lezen en weer even stil te staan bij het feit dat acceptatie niet overal op de wereld is en je opgesloten kunt worden simpelweg omdat je van iemand houdt. Daarnaast ook de weg vinden binnen het geloof en de acceptatie hier in, vond ik ook mooi beschreven. Ook wel het een en ander geleerd over de koloniale geschiedenis van Kameroen.
Ondanks dat ik het wel echt een mooi boek vond, heeft het me toch om een of andere reden net niet helemaal gepakt, maar ik kan er niet echt de vinger opleggen wat dat precies is. Misschien vond ik het toch een beetje voorspelbaar hoe het verhaal zou eindigen. Maar denk toch wel 3.5/5 ⭐️
March 31, 2025
I thought this was a beautifully crafted and deeply moving novel. The story, narrated through letters from Bessem to her long-lost love, Fatima, offers a unique and intimate glimpse into the struggles faced by queer individuals in a society that criminalizes their very existence.
While the novel confronts some hard truths about the world we live in, it also serves as a poignant reminder of resilience, hope, and the enduring power of love. Bessem’s emotional journey captures the complexities of navigating one’s identity in a hostile environment, and her letters convey a profound sense of yearning for acceptance and understanding.
Overall, this is a must-read for anyone who appreciates a heartfelt narrative that sheds light on the complexities of queer identity and the universal longing for connection.
While the novel confronts some hard truths about the world we live in, it also serves as a poignant reminder of resilience, hope, and the enduring power of love. Bessem’s emotional journey captures the complexities of navigating one’s identity in a hostile environment, and her letters convey a profound sense of yearning for acceptance and understanding.
Overall, this is a must-read for anyone who appreciates a heartfelt narrative that sheds light on the complexities of queer identity and the universal longing for connection.
January 27, 2025
"Our love was purity, a safe space, the only place we could truly let go and be ourselves."
This book is deeply moving, devastating and heartbreaking. It made me both livid and sad that people can’t be themselves and are forced to hide who they are to avoid mistreatment.
There were times when I had to pause between chapters because it caused a huge lump in my throat. These letters really do end in tears.
This book is deeply moving, devastating and heartbreaking. It made me both livid and sad that people can’t be themselves and are forced to hide who they are to avoid mistreatment.
There were times when I had to pause between chapters because it caused a huge lump in my throat. These letters really do end in tears.
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