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To Touch is to Live
The author exposes the pain inflicted by our touch-starved culture, examining issues of modern childbirth practices, affection with children, abuse, healing, sexuality, and spirituality, and offers examples from other cultures that understand the importance of touch. Author information is not given. Annotation c. Book News, Inc.,Portland, OR
- GenresParenting
100 pages, Paperback
First published November 1, 2002
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
June 20, 2010
This book was so thought-provoking, I find it hard to review. I give it four stars because I value a book that makes me think, even if I don't agree with everything in it. And there was a lot that I question. For instance, Caplan sometimes makes it sound as if a lack of nurturing touch is responsible for all the ills in the world. While I don't doubt that it contributes heavily to human suffering, I believe it is only the symptom of a deeper issue which cannot be "fixed" even by all the most excellent and loving touch throughout one's life from cradle to grave.
Caplan also puts a lot of emphasis upon childhood touch and how it shapes the individual. I agree heartily. However, her approach could send the most doting and scrupulous of parents off on a guilt trip as long as the Nile. We are not all able, in spite of our desire to do the best by our children, to have natural childbirth or to breastfeed our babies. No one should feel that they have irredeemably harmed their child just because they did not do these things. Caplan's intense exploration of the benefits of natural childbirth and breastfeeding sometimes come across to me like condemnation. I too, believe these things are important, crucial, even, but they are not always possible, and I wish the author had made more room for those occasions in her study of infants and touch.
Her chapter on "Sexuality and the Worship of the Body" posed some problematic statements for me. "Worship of God through humanity begins with worship of our own body." (pg. 156) I object to that word "worship". I see that sexuality reflects God in that it unites, and in that it is a creative force, but "worship of the body" seems like a bad choice of words. However, Caplan writes other things in this chapter that are very insightful.
In the chapter "The Touch of God" Caplan goes pretty far out at times. I confess that I only skimmed this chapter. I liked her point about the illusion of separateness. "This instinct for survival, based upon every individual's belief that he or she is separate from every other individual, underlies all forms of aggression and self-protection leading to isolation, loneliness, depression, withholding of touch and the other shared ailments of our time." (pg.170) Also, her discussion of hospitality as touch, and service as touch - excellent, really excellent, giving me plenty to think about in my own life.
Altogether, a great book. Very informative, well-organized, and even at times, eloquent. It gives you a new appreciation for the gift of good touch. Touch is the most basic and powerful language, and it is overlooked, for the most part.
Caplan also puts a lot of emphasis upon childhood touch and how it shapes the individual. I agree heartily. However, her approach could send the most doting and scrupulous of parents off on a guilt trip as long as the Nile. We are not all able, in spite of our desire to do the best by our children, to have natural childbirth or to breastfeed our babies. No one should feel that they have irredeemably harmed their child just because they did not do these things. Caplan's intense exploration of the benefits of natural childbirth and breastfeeding sometimes come across to me like condemnation. I too, believe these things are important, crucial, even, but they are not always possible, and I wish the author had made more room for those occasions in her study of infants and touch.
Her chapter on "Sexuality and the Worship of the Body" posed some problematic statements for me. "Worship of God through humanity begins with worship of our own body." (pg. 156) I object to that word "worship". I see that sexuality reflects God in that it unites, and in that it is a creative force, but "worship of the body" seems like a bad choice of words. However, Caplan writes other things in this chapter that are very insightful.
In the chapter "The Touch of God" Caplan goes pretty far out at times. I confess that I only skimmed this chapter. I liked her point about the illusion of separateness. "This instinct for survival, based upon every individual's belief that he or she is separate from every other individual, underlies all forms of aggression and self-protection leading to isolation, loneliness, depression, withholding of touch and the other shared ailments of our time." (pg.170) Also, her discussion of hospitality as touch, and service as touch - excellent, really excellent, giving me plenty to think about in my own life.
Altogether, a great book. Very informative, well-organized, and even at times, eloquent. It gives you a new appreciation for the gift of good touch. Touch is the most basic and powerful language, and it is overlooked, for the most part.
March 2, 2023
From the get-go I wasn't enamored with the authors tone as it comes off as very preachy and almost like a strict teacher telling you off. However, I persevered because she had such a high rating for this book. I tried to ignore that it is filled with personal opinion passed off as fact. Over and over again, the author makes very strong claims with no link to or mention of source material whatsoever. Eventually, I couldn't take anymore and came back to Goodreads to see if anyone else was talking about the glaring faults in the book. Then I saw that the book had only been reviewed 20 times. I'd imagine mostly by the authors friends, as the content definitely does not match up to reviews at all. I wanted to like this book as I agree with the premise of touch being important, but I did not like this at all. There was some weird stuff about how everyone has sexual feelings towards their children (again with no evidence to back this up) and almost all the responsibility for the lost touch in the world focused solely on the mother. In short, the sexist undertones combined with opinion stated strongly as fact left a bad taste in my mouth.
March 1, 2020
One-sentence review:
I recommend it, with the caveat that this is one of those books that should be read for the analysis of the problem more than for the solutions offered; it starts very strong buts gets somewhat bogged down in the last two chapters with the typical New-Agey, vaguely Tantra-flavoured mix of pseudoscience, energy woo, and gender essentialism.
I recommend it, with the caveat that this is one of those books that should be read for the analysis of the problem more than for the solutions offered; it starts very strong buts gets somewhat bogged down in the last two chapters with the typical New-Agey, vaguely Tantra-flavoured mix of pseudoscience, energy woo, and gender essentialism.
November 16, 2015
Another book that saved my life
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews