The Familiar Stranger: (Re)Introducing the Holy Spirit to Those in Search of an Experiential Spirituality

by Tyler Staton

Do you really know the Holy Spirit? And what does the answer mean for your faith?

In The Familiar Stranger, Tyler Staton draws on Scripture, tradition, and spiritual practices to help you step into a genuine relationship with the Holy Spirit and discover a fully alive spirituality.

For a generation searching desperately for an experiential spirituality, there's good the Holy Spirit's indwelling presence to empower and transform is freely available. Yet, confusion and unfamiliarity surround the Holy Spirit, leading too many Christians either to sideline him or misunderstand what he means for their spiritual lives.

In The Familiar Stranger, Staton reintroduces this oft-neglected person of the Trinity, tracing the story of the Holy Spirit as it unfolds throughout the Bible, and inviting believers to close the gap between what Scripture reveals about the Holy Spirit and their lived experience. Along the way, readers

- dig into key biblical images and metaphors that reveal the Holy Spirit's nature, roles, and personality;
- learn about common misperceptions that keep believers and churches from experiencing the fullness of the Holy Spirit's power and presence;
- discover how the Spirit brings discernment and access to miraculous power to partner with God in the work he's doing in the world;
- reckon with the indispensable role of spiritual experience for walking with God; andunderstand how both Word and Spirit work together to draw people into a vibrant, intimate knowledge of God.

The Familiar Stranger will challenge, inform, and encourage believers from every background to become more deeply acquainted with the Person and work of the Holy Spirit - and experience his transformative, life-giving power in their lives.

Genres: Christian, Faith, Theology, Nonfiction, Christianity, Christian Living, Religion

256 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 28, 2025

About the author

Tyler Staton is the Lead Pastor of Bridgetown Church in Portland, Oregon, where he lives with his wife Kirsten, and their sons Hank, Simon, and Amos. He is passionate about living prayerfully and relationally. Tyler is the author of three books: The Familiar Stranger, Praying Like Monks, Living like Fools, and Searching for Enough.

Find me on Instagram at www.instagram.com/tylercstaton.

Reviews

[Tim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible. Staton does a phenomenal job weaving theology and narrative together in a way that, like many of his peers, feels like you’re sitting at a coffee shop having a conversation with him. I was provoked by both his theology and stories, which forced me to come back to previously held beliefs and truly observe whether what I believed about the Holy Spirit actually hit my heart. Truly, this book is a classic. Thank you.

[Althea Graber · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book wrecked me in the best way, it is so beautiful. 😭 It was comforting and convicting. I appreciated Tyler’s gentle, balanced approach on the subject of the Holy Spirit. I finished it with my faith strengthened. It will definitely be one I come back to again. Everybody should read this book.

“In the early church they never imitated the miracles of Jesus without equally imitating the love of Jesus. They moved toward pain, toward hurts and annoyances and grievances, toward the need in one another. They learned to forgive and ask forgiveness. They saw the worst in each other and kept choosing love. Power always serves love—never the other way around. The Bible calls power apart from love a noisy gong and a clanging cymbal.”

“Are you eager for manifestations of the Spirit? Then make your ambition the slow, subtle, intentional gift of loving one another.”

[Kristen Yoder · Rating 5 out of 5]

When so many conversations about the Holy Spirit can quickly become controversial and decisive, Statin brings an understanding and logical voice to the conversation. He discusses gaps in the Western church today, and shares from many personal experiences. Please read!

[Abi Schlechty · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you know me, you know that I’m kind of obsessed with Tyler Staton’s writing and preaching, and this book was no exception. The Holy Spirit is an incredibly hard topic to write about in a way that is accessible yet comprehensive, and Staton weaved both those things together beautifully. He made the Holy Spirit incredibly accessible will not boiling it down to something that it is not. I will be using this book as a tool and discipleship for years to come.

[Anita Yoder · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to the audio version read by the author. Before I finished, I ordered hard copies for myself and a friend, plus thought of other friends I want to give copies to.
This might not become a classic but it meets the need of the hour: a way to see and know the Father through the presence of His Spirit.

[Kayti · Rating 5 out of 5]

Audiobook. Easily one of the best, most enriching books I’ve listened to this year. Definitely going to revisit.

[Christopher Jolly · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Familiar Stranger was one of my favorite books I have read this year. Stanton does a phenomenal job weaving in the story of the Scriptures, testimonies, history, and his own story in teaching on the Holy Spirit. Stanton covers more than the simply the gifts of the Spirit and how to practice them. He writes about the larger narrative (creation, redemption, suffering, the here but not yet kingdom of God).

[Kate Bardell · Rating 5 out of 5]

So much wisdom in this! Highly recommend… especially for people like me who are used to // grew up in a more traditional church!

[mckia calder · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was consistently full of truth and I really appreciated that, even when it wasn’t anything that came across to me as radical or just crazy, it still grew my perspective and fanned a desire to know and abide with the Holy Spirit. I truly enjoyed the practical suggestions and the down to earth feel of writing. All the real stories included were so needed, and the book wouldn’t have been the same without.

[Rebecca Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

So good. Helpful, convicting and encouraging. Challenging in areas! More thoughts but you can just ask me in person

[Abby McManus · Rating 5 out of 5]

First ever audiobook, and it was so so good! Listened to the healing chapter more than once

[Grace Markwell · Rating 5 out of 5]

was just audibly sobbing on the beach as I finished this

[Maggie Suplee · Rating 5 out of 5]

the Holy Spirit is awesome

[Cassidy Brock · Rating 5 out of 5]

wow. so so good. if you’re a friend of mine, i’ve most likely been telling you what i’ve been learning from this book lately because it really taught me so much.

to be honest, i have a conservative baptist background where the Holy Spirit wasn’t mentioned much. therefore, i approached some of these chapters skeptically — healing & prophecy especially, but i was able to consider what i believed and took in everything he was sharing. i loved how Tyler wrote this book so beautifully and i was able to read and process about what i was reading. i’ll be thinking about this book for awhile.

[Faithful Intellect · Rating 4 out of 5]

Book Review Rating: 8/10

This Book Is:
- About the Holy Spirit.
- For those seeking deeper and richer experiences of spirituality.
- A good balance of information and compelling stories.
- A practical guide including sample practices to try.

This Book Is Not:
- Biased towards overvaluing or undervaluing the gifts of the Spirit.

My Takeaways:
- Redemptive Suffering: My top takeaway is the idea that the Holy Spirit is just as active in our suffering as in our triumphs. It can be easy to think that healing occurs when the Spirit is active, and healing doesn't occur when the Spirit does not act.

Suffering is a part of the human condition. We know that suffering grieves God. It is not how he created the world to be. We have the opportunity to choose what suffering does to us. It is an opportunity to be like Jesus. When we experience suffering, we are able to be compassionate towards others in a deeper way. We have the promise of new life and know that suffering won't have the last word.

Click here to read the full review at Faithful Intellect.

Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Jake Calder · Rating 5 out of 5]

My second Tyler Staton book of the year and another that has been profoundly impactful on the way I think about (and hopefully eventually practice) my relationship with Jesus. I definitely had some interesting experiences in the church growing up that really made me prefer the solid ground of sound doctrine, good teaching, and confident intellectual thought, so this book was challenging for me. But it seems like a challenge that I needed at the right time, giving me desires for a more free and experiential walk with Jesus rather than the safety of a comfortable practice. Staton does a great job showing the Holy Spirit through the Bible and inspiring his readers with desires to do the same, a scary challenge but an exciting one to be sure.

My favorite quote: “We are in danger of this sort of life with God. We study and discuss the lives of the biblical saints and tell and retell their stories until were convinced we've lived them, though all we've really done is heard the rumor of combat from the safety of the barracks.”

[Kayla Petty · Rating 4 out of 5]

Didn’t like the beginning (which is why it took me 6 months to finish it) but after I finished part 2, the rest of the book was 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥!!

[Micaela Rahimian · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! Loved this so much. Convicting, challenging and just lovely.

[Nathan Slonaker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Comprehensive, beautifully written, personal and profound. Staton does a masterful job of weaving personal stories in with deep truth.

[Brooke Durrett · Rating 5 out of 5]

(5/5) LOVED this book. It helped me learn about and connect with the Holy Spirit !!

[Campbell Lakatos · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a beautiful book. Invitational conviction. Gently, I was exposed to my lack of experience with the Spirit of God. In practical practices, beautiful stories, and biblical texts, my hunger and thirst were awakened to experience God in ways I cannot explain. Thank you Tyler for this gift, and thank you Spirit, for meeting me in these pages.

[Aleigha VanLaningham · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone should read this book! Convicting, encouraging, challenging, eye-opening, and so much more. 100/10 👏🏼

[Jake Steiskal · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Familiar Stranger by Tyler Staton is one of the most insightful and practical books I’ve read on the Holy Spirit. Too often, discussions on the Spirit either oversimplify, exaggerate, or misunderstand His role, and I’ve personally seen this play out—especially in my time at a GCU, where the gifts of the Spirit were often emphasized at the expense of the fruit.

Staton cuts through the typical noise, offering a deeply biblical and refreshingly grounded approach. He affirms the gifts of the Spirit, providing both theological depth and practical guidance on how to grow in them. But what sets this book apart is its unwavering focus on love. Staton makes it clear that if our pursuit of the Spirit doesn’t lead us to a deeper, supernatural love for others—if it doesn’t transform the way we “come alongside” people in real, tangible ways—then it’s just empty noise.

My favorite part of this book were the real life stories that Staton tells about the Holy Spirit and its role in people’s lives. I love Tyler Staton’s writing because he’s a phenomenal storyteller and I feel like the best witnesses to God and His redemptive power in our lives are those who have compelling testimonies about seeing it with their own eyes.

This book challenged me, clarified misconceptions, and ultimately encouraged me to seek the Spirit in a way that is both biblical and deeply relational. If you’ve ever wrestled with how to understand or engage with the Holy Spirit, I highly recommend The Familiar Stranger.

[Debbie · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Familiar Stanger by Tyler Staton

Tyler Staton is a pastor of Bridgetown Church he has a passion about prayer and relationship with God. His book is well written. There is no doubt about that. Have you ever been wondering what else happened after reading the whole Bible.

[Chesca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ten stars. The book I needed to read this year. I want to read it again immediately. In all my years in Christian circles of various denominations and persuasions, I’ve never heard or read such a clear, compelling, grounded, refreshing, humble teaching about the Holy Spirit as this.

In Part 1, Staton focuses on the person of the Holy Spirit revealed as Breath, Water, and Dove. I highlighted all over the place (check them out!). In Part 2, he addresses the fears and extremes and trauma many have experienced concerning teachings about the Holy Spirit. In Part 3, he focuses on a few of the ministries of the Holy Spirit: discernment, prophetic words, healing, witness, redemptive suffering, and “the way of love.” The chapter about healing, with all its scriptural references, was the most informative for me; and I was surprised but heartened to see the chapter giving a vibrant, robust theology of suffering.

You must not miss the epilogue: he goes deep into the Holy Spirit’s names as Comforter, Advocate, and Counselor.

100% recommend to all who want to have a clearer understanding of who the Holy Spirit is and how He works through lives.

[Natalie Ornelas · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wasn’t raised hearing very much about the Holy Spirit, then entered some pretty charismatic communities in my late teens/early 20s that left me with both increased faith and a lot of questions. I found that, in trying to sort some things out, I stopped pursuing the “withness” of life done with the Holy Spirit as much as I had before and started focusing more on just living FOR God. There is a difference; both are important. But Tyler’s book, both simple and profound, is what I needed in this season, reminding me of the deep joy and fulfillment that comes from living life with the Holy Spirit as guide, spreading His love and light in practical, sometimes unconventional ways. I was also touched and encouraged by Tyler’s personal testimony of the Holy Spirit as comforter in the midst of grief and uncertainty. Whether you’re untangling some theological questions, wondering where God is in this season of your life, yearning for something you’ve never experienced, or if you’re just curious about the Holy Spirit— I recommend this book.

[Rocky Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quick audiobook listen on a trip home and back. Hope to get a physical copy to really work through some of the ideas that I didn’t have time to rewind and listen to again.

In my first, quick listen through The Familiar Stranger - I am challenged and encouraged by the words of Staton. He writes truths of the Holy Spirit that are deeply rooted in Scripture and in personal experience. The narratives he shares of the Spirit’s power inspire me to live into that same power, which is promised to us by Jesus to be BETTER than the power of His own physical presence.

Staton does an incredible job of both calling the reader to radical faith but also to patience and practice. While he makes it clear that the fruits and gifts offered by the Spirit are readily accessible to those filled with the Spirit, he reiterates the need for a deep abiding in Jesus to learn the exercise of these gifts.

A must-read in an age where the mysticism of the Spirit is lost on so many of us.

[Hannah Marker · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Holy Spirit is in the tension of truth and mystery. So often I have found myself wondering “who is the Holy Spirit” and “what is his purpose?” Tyler paints a picture that the holy spirits sanctifying work is done in love and often in community helping us to experience God in a way that speaks to our soul and edifies the body of Christ. Not for the purpose of signs but for, as he says, the “substance” that is the gospel. Our ultimate helper He is here to comfort guide and shape us into the likeness of Christ through the fruit of the spirit and also the gifts of the spirit. This book launched my yearning to know more of God and his spirit that is so personal yet so big.

[Rebecca Adelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s rare to find a balanced book on the Holy Spirit — seems most people are skeptical and uninformed and maybe just a touch scared off because of experiences that appeared to be only performance, or they are seeking miracles and healings so fervently they forget that the Spirit is God himself and that God’s ways are higher than ours and sometimes he says no to what we ask and that faith is not the magic word to make what we’re praying for magically appear.

This book was easy to read: the narrative flowed smoothly, stories and theology interwoven in a comprehensive and comprehend-able manner. I leave wanting more of the Spirit, and determined to pray for more miracles, while simultaneously standing in awe of God’s sovereignty.

Also, the last chapter on community was fascinating. He discusses how we see most of the fruit and works of the spirit in relationship with each other; I think I perceived the Holy Spirit mostly as an individual, personal experience.

[Aaron Green · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had my doubts about this book going in. I was not really a fan of Tyler's book on prayer, you can see my review on that one if interested ;-) so I was anticipating this book to be similar to that one; thinking that this book on the Holy Spirit would be stereotypical and probably spend an inordinate amount of time on Pentecost and speaking in tongues, but I was pleasantly wrong about all of that. Tyler does indeed talk about those things, but He gives one a much richer understanding of all that is entailed in the person of the Holy Spirit. He is not a charismatic Pentecostal... nothing against them, but traditionally, they've been the only ones who put out books on the Holy Spirit (oversimplification I know, but you know what I'm saying) It was delightfully refreshing to see someone dedicate a book on the Holy Spirit who isn't emphasizing only the gifts. His main thought was not centered on Pentecost as it was on the verse, "It will be better for you that I go away so the helper (Holy Spirit) can come". Tyler quickly and openly shares our doubts about that verse and I'm so glad he did. I would say it's the best and most accessible book on the Holy Spirit that anyone can grasp and everyone should read.