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Not Without Me
When my mum’s new partner walked into our lives, bringing along his brooding son, Cade Westwood, I never imagined the rollercoaster that awaited me.
Cade, haunted by his past, kept a tight lid on his emotions, and I couldn't help but be intrigued by the mystery that surrounded him. Little did I know that our innocent connection would soon be tested by unexpected hurdles, turning our fairy-tale love story into a haunting nightmare.
Fast forward sixteen years, and I find myself staring into the eyes of Cade once again—only this time, he’s my boss. The wounds from our shared history resurface, and I’m forced to confront the bittersweet memories that still linger.
As I try to navigate my newfound professional life, buried feelings for Cade threaten to emerge from the shadows. Will I be able to keep my emotions in check? And can Cade’s secrets avoid derailing our chance at a renewed connection?
Cade, haunted by his past, kept a tight lid on his emotions, and I couldn't help but be intrigued by the mystery that surrounded him. Little did I know that our innocent connection would soon be tested by unexpected hurdles, turning our fairy-tale love story into a haunting nightmare.
Fast forward sixteen years, and I find myself staring into the eyes of Cade once again—only this time, he’s my boss. The wounds from our shared history resurface, and I’m forced to confront the bittersweet memories that still linger.
As I try to navigate my newfound professional life, buried feelings for Cade threaten to emerge from the shadows. Will I be able to keep my emotions in check? And can Cade’s secrets avoid derailing our chance at a renewed connection?
- GenresRomance
340 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 26, 2024
36 people are currently reading
169 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 58 reviews
January 16, 2025
This was my lockdown novel. I started writing it during the pandemic and had no idea where Alex and Cade were going to take me, but it soon transpired that their story wasn’t going to be plain sailing and it took me to quite a dark place. So much so, I had to take a long break from writing their story as it was so hard hitting. I’m so glad I found the courage to finish the book almost two years after starting it as Cade and Alex needed their HEA.
May 27, 2025
Not Without Me by Maria Dean is a captivating tale of love, loss, and the enduring power of connections.
Maria Dean's portrayal of complex relationships is poignant and thought-provoking, delving into themes of forgiveness, redemption, and the transformative power of time.
This a compelling blend of romance and introspection, offering readers a heartfelt exploration of love's enduring impact across the years. This is a must-read for anyone captivated by tales of love, resilience, and the power of understanding.
Maria Dean's portrayal of complex relationships is poignant and thought-provoking, delving into themes of forgiveness, redemption, and the transformative power of time.
This a compelling blend of romance and introspection, offering readers a heartfelt exploration of love's enduring impact across the years. This is a must-read for anyone captivated by tales of love, resilience, and the power of understanding.
June 24, 2024
Love love loved this book! It was so easy to read and I didn’t want to put it down.
It was well written giving you the then and now story at the same time.
It helped you know how the relationship started and where it is now. It lets you feel everything they went through 16 years ago and how they are now.
This is the first book of Maria Dean I have read but it will not be the last.
Absolutely recommend this to anyone and everyone
It was well written giving you the then and now story at the same time.
It helped you know how the relationship started and where it is now. It lets you feel everything they went through 16 years ago and how they are now.
This is the first book of Maria Dean I have read but it will not be the last.
Absolutely recommend this to anyone and everyone
July 27, 2024
"Not Without Me" by Maria Dean is a deeply touching memoir about love, resilience, and the courage to rewrite one’s story. The book focuses on the intense and complicated relationship between step-siblings Cade and Alex, who was Lexi just to Cade.
When Cade and his father enter Alex's life, her world is turned upside down. Cade, with his intriguing and reserved nature, captivates Alex. Their connection is innocent at first but soon faces unexpected challenges. Sixteen years later, Alex meets Cade again, this time as her boss, bringing back all their shared history and buried emotions.
Maria Dean's writing captures the raw emotions of their love story. Cade’s enigmatic presence and Lexi’s curiosity create a powerful bond between them. The memoir balances moments of deep emotion with hope and determination, showing how past experiences can shape the present.
The theme, from a cover "our past can shape our present, but only if we let it," is central to the story. As Alex navigates her professional life and old feelings for Cade, the memoir reveals the courage needed to face the past and embrace a lasting love. I loved how the author reveals all past secrets and builds all emotions. I can not put that book away until I finish.
In conclusion, "Not Without Me" is a powerful memoir about courage, love, and self-discovery. Cade and Lexi’s journey is both emotional and inspiring, making this book a must-read for anyone interested in the complexities of step-sibling romance and the enduring power of love.
Absolutely easy 5 stars from me !
When Cade and his father enter Alex's life, her world is turned upside down. Cade, with his intriguing and reserved nature, captivates Alex. Their connection is innocent at first but soon faces unexpected challenges. Sixteen years later, Alex meets Cade again, this time as her boss, bringing back all their shared history and buried emotions.
Maria Dean's writing captures the raw emotions of their love story. Cade’s enigmatic presence and Lexi’s curiosity create a powerful bond between them. The memoir balances moments of deep emotion with hope and determination, showing how past experiences can shape the present.
The theme, from a cover "our past can shape our present, but only if we let it," is central to the story. As Alex navigates her professional life and old feelings for Cade, the memoir reveals the courage needed to face the past and embrace a lasting love. I loved how the author reveals all past secrets and builds all emotions. I can not put that book away until I finish.
In conclusion, "Not Without Me" is a powerful memoir about courage, love, and self-discovery. Cade and Lexi’s journey is both emotional and inspiring, making this book a must-read for anyone interested in the complexities of step-sibling romance and the enduring power of love.
Absolutely easy 5 stars from me !
July 28, 2024
Alex meets Cade when her mom starts dating his dad and they both move in to her house. What starts as an innocent friendship turns into a beautiful romance between teenagers. Their relationship ends abruptly after a bad incident that we find out later in the book.
Cade returns back sixteen years later as Alex’s boss and they are forced to faced the day their lives were altered forever.
I loved this book. It was a well written, unputdownable book with strong MCs with well-developed personalities. The story kept switching seamlessly between the past (16 years back) and the present. The plot twist caught me off guard and the incident from the past made my heart break and was not something I was expecting.
This is a story of love and resilience with complicated parental relationship, angst, trauma and a touch of mystery.
“I’ll be with you when the sun rises and when it sets. I’ll be here when you’re sad, happy, and downright moody. I’ll be with you when it rains, when it snows, when the sun is too hot to go out, and when the wind is so strong, it’ll nearly blow you over.”
Thank you so much Maria Dean and Hot Tree Publishing for this arc copy🫶
Cade returns back sixteen years later as Alex’s boss and they are forced to faced the day their lives were altered forever.
I loved this book. It was a well written, unputdownable book with strong MCs with well-developed personalities. The story kept switching seamlessly between the past (16 years back) and the present. The plot twist caught me off guard and the incident from the past made my heart break and was not something I was expecting.
This is a story of love and resilience with complicated parental relationship, angst, trauma and a touch of mystery.
“I’ll be with you when the sun rises and when it sets. I’ll be here when you’re sad, happy, and downright moody. I’ll be with you when it rains, when it snows, when the sun is too hot to go out, and when the wind is so strong, it’ll nearly blow you over.”
Thank you so much Maria Dean and Hot Tree Publishing for this arc copy🫶
June 23, 2024
As soon as I started reading this book I honestly couldn’t put it down. 100% binge read. Second chance romances is nit a trope I usually enjoy but maybe I have just been reading the wrong books. Adding Cade to my book boyfriend list!
❤️🔥Second Chance Romance
❤️🔥Spice level 🌶️🌶️
❤️🔥Found family
⚠️Check trigger warnings
❤️🔥Second Chance Romance
❤️🔥Spice level 🌶️🌶️
❤️🔥Found family
⚠️Check trigger warnings
June 15, 2024
Not Without Me
by Maria Dean
⭐️4.5
🌶️2
💧
This is a first by this author and I was pleasantly surprised! I rather enjoyed this book and did NOT see that “twist” coming! The entire book I was thinking “but what happened in the kitchen!?” And nope not once was I thinking that!!!
The book did a lot of jumping between now and then in each chapter, and to be honest at first I was NOT a fan, but after a couple of chapters I was used to it.
The one thing that lost a star for me was the lack of epilogue… the book just ended. I like to have more info, did they end up marrying? Did they have kids? Did they ever see their parents again? What happened to Jess or Shawn in the end?
But overall I did enjoy this book!
ETA: a newer version was provided with Epilogue! And it was a sweet way to tidy up the ending!! Most of my lingering questions were answered so review increased to 4.5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️✨
#mariadean #notwithoutme #audiobook #bookaholic #readingtime #bookshelf #instabooks #bookblogger #bookreview #booktok #reading #booklover #bookworm #booknerd #goodreads #aussiebookstagrammers #aussies #australianreaders #darkromance #reading #bookstagram #bookstagrammer #readersofinstagram #instabook #booksofinstagram #booksarelife #spicybooklover
by Maria Dean
⭐️4.5
🌶️2
💧
This is a first by this author and I was pleasantly surprised! I rather enjoyed this book and did NOT see that “twist” coming! The entire book I was thinking “but what happened in the kitchen!?” And nope not once was I thinking that!!!
The book did a lot of jumping between now and then in each chapter, and to be honest at first I was NOT a fan, but after a couple of chapters I was used to it.
The one thing that lost a star for me was the lack of epilogue… the book just ended. I like to have more info, did they end up marrying? Did they have kids? Did they ever see their parents again? What happened to Jess or Shawn in the end?
But overall I did enjoy this book!
ETA: a newer version was provided with Epilogue! And it was a sweet way to tidy up the ending!! Most of my lingering questions were answered so review increased to 4.5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️✨
#mariadean #notwithoutme #audiobook #bookaholic #readingtime #bookshelf #instabooks #bookblogger #bookreview #booktok #reading #booklover #bookworm #booknerd #goodreads #aussiebookstagrammers #aussies #australianreaders #darkromance #reading #bookstagram #bookstagrammer #readersofinstagram #instabook #booksofinstagram #booksarelife #spicybooklover
December 8, 2024
Written in dual pov, with present and past mingled in, we learn of Alex (Lexie) and Cade's story. A tragic teenage romance lost for 16 years. True love never dies, but can the past be forgotten? With a savage twist at the end, I could not put this book down, and I read it in one afternoon (and late into the night!!! I just couldn't stop) Just check the trigger warnings as some scenes could be confronting.
July 11, 2024
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
In a word -
Second chance
Shared trauma
Complicated parental relationship
British Slang
Flashbacks
I was hooked on this from the beginning and pleasantly surprised as I'm not a huge romance (without fantasy element) reader! I really relate to Alex with the inner rage and complicated mother relationship, so this one kinda hit me right in the heart 😂 I did have to Google a few British slang words, but it didn't hinder the reading experience. The "mystery" surprised me because I thought it was going to be reversed! Also, the prose is wonderful. One thing I didn't love was the modern songs/businesses/companies/movies that were placed in the story, but that's a me thing (and maybe normal in contemporary romance). Overall, really liked it and am so appreciative of both the author and the publisher.
In a word -
Second chance
Shared trauma
Complicated parental relationship
British Slang
Flashbacks
I was hooked on this from the beginning and pleasantly surprised as I'm not a huge romance (without fantasy element) reader! I really relate to Alex with the inner rage and complicated mother relationship, so this one kinda hit me right in the heart 😂 I did have to Google a few British slang words, but it didn't hinder the reading experience. The "mystery" surprised me because I thought it was going to be reversed! Also, the prose is wonderful. One thing I didn't love was the modern songs/businesses/companies/movies that were placed in the story, but that's a me thing (and maybe normal in contemporary romance). Overall, really liked it and am so appreciative of both the author and the publisher.
June 21, 2024
If you don't like books that jump back and forth between the past and present, you might not care for this. However, give it time because it builds up. It started out kind of slow for me, but then once I got halfway through it, I couldn't put it down! This book follows cade and Alex and what they got through to find love at last. This is a touch her and die read that was easy to get through and had you rooting for the MMC and FMC all the way through!
July 23, 2024
Please ensure you check trigger warnings for this book before you read it.
Main triggers: death of a parent, alcohol abuse, on page sexual assault, mental health issues, on page attempted rape & murder.
I really enjoyed this story. I loved the flashbacks to give you the then and now storyline. I loved Alex & Cade and their love. My heart broke during the flashbacks & then again right at the end. I am a sucker for a happily ever after though, and this is one.
I did want more, more reconciliation between the two, more spice scenes, and more after, but it was still a great read.
Thank you to the author and hot tree publishing for this review copy. All opinions are my own.
Main triggers: death of a parent, alcohol abuse, on page sexual assault, mental health issues, on page attempted rape & murder.
I really enjoyed this story. I loved the flashbacks to give you the then and now storyline. I loved Alex & Cade and their love. My heart broke during the flashbacks & then again right at the end. I am a sucker for a happily ever after though, and this is one.
I did want more, more reconciliation between the two, more spice scenes, and more after, but it was still a great read.
Thank you to the author and hot tree publishing for this review copy. All opinions are my own.
April 4, 2025
I loved this book!!! I couldn’t put it down. i did not guess the big secret, i was so shocked. Definitely recommend this, it’s a quick and good read!
July 6, 2024
I need MORE!
Addictive characters. Love story, drama and heart ache.
Most of all second chances and hope for a better life.
I absolutely devoured this book.
I highly recommend picking this book up.
(Make sure you check trigger warnings though mental health comes first )
Addictive characters. Love story, drama and heart ache.
Most of all second chances and hope for a better life.
I absolutely devoured this book.
I highly recommend picking this book up.
(Make sure you check trigger warnings though mental health comes first )
June 9, 2024
It is a beautifully written heartwarming book. Alex and Cade are both sweethearts, and I loved them both. What they suffered in the past, and how they overcome the differences in the present, is the main highlight. Their past flashbacks and present timelines added a believability to the story. Told through both of their point of view that it's interesting to read. Their chemistry and love they felt for each other were beautiful. Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for the eARC.
May 25, 2024
How do you read that synopsis and not instantly need this? It screams angst, unresolved feelings, drama, and I’m sitting here with my grabby hands going *gimme gimme gimme*. All things that I love to read.
This story is told in both past and present, with a mixture of both in each chapter. We also get some dual POV action. Alex (Lexie) is working in real estate, and her company is bought. The mysterious new boss shows up one day and it’s none other than Cade, the son of her mother’s ex boyfriend, her ex roommate, and her childhood sweetheart. Imagine just sitting at your desk one day and having that kind of surprise lol. Oh and they haven’t spoken for 16 years.
The early part of this book I really enjoyed. The interactions with these two left you with questions you needed to answer, and the author did a great job painting the scene and relationship development in the past sections of the novel. I think the past scenes were actually some of my favourites, seeing these two grow close.
And while on the topic, I think the transitions between the present tense portions and the past tense were a little abrupt and rocky at times. There could be a few paragraphs from Alex, she looks at something and then we’re thrown into the past as a memory takes hold. I just felt the transitions could be a bit smoother.
I also enjoyed the possibilities this story made you consider. I don’t want to say suspense, because it’s not a suspenseful book but you know SOMETHING happened, and it was bad. But WHAT?! I love going through and trying to consider all the possibilities based on what we know and how the characters act. I will say this one caught me totally off guard, it was not even on my radar.
One thing that I was hoping to change, or show some growth was Lexie. As a character, she was a bit of an enigma, and could cause whiplash with her outbursts and thinking going from one extreme to the next. Then there were other times where she was frustrating and argumentative. She would seem to have a breakthrough, then do another complete 180° turn. It honestly feels like she was more mature at 15/16 years old then she was during the present time of the book. I just wasn’t understanding her, and felt we didn’t get to dive in to why. This girl needed to start therapy a long time ago.
Overall this was coasting along quite nicely for me, I figured it to be a solid 4 star read until about the last 25%. This section just didn’t really work for me. There was way too much going on to the point where you couldn’t even digest one issue before the next came. This was where my Lexie issues really started to become prominent. A majority of this last 25% didn’t make a lot of sense to me, and then the book just ended. No falling action, no conclusion, and several questions still unanswered. I’m left more confused now.
Of note: there is a trigger warning at the beginning of the book, but I just want to point it out here for it to be considered. There is abuse, assault, mental health concerns, etc.
*An ARC was received in exchange for an honest review.
This story is told in both past and present, with a mixture of both in each chapter. We also get some dual POV action. Alex (Lexie) is working in real estate, and her company is bought. The mysterious new boss shows up one day and it’s none other than Cade, the son of her mother’s ex boyfriend, her ex roommate, and her childhood sweetheart. Imagine just sitting at your desk one day and having that kind of surprise lol. Oh and they haven’t spoken for 16 years.
The early part of this book I really enjoyed. The interactions with these two left you with questions you needed to answer, and the author did a great job painting the scene and relationship development in the past sections of the novel. I think the past scenes were actually some of my favourites, seeing these two grow close.
And while on the topic, I think the transitions between the present tense portions and the past tense were a little abrupt and rocky at times. There could be a few paragraphs from Alex, she looks at something and then we’re thrown into the past as a memory takes hold. I just felt the transitions could be a bit smoother.
I also enjoyed the possibilities this story made you consider. I don’t want to say suspense, because it’s not a suspenseful book but you know SOMETHING happened, and it was bad. But WHAT?! I love going through and trying to consider all the possibilities based on what we know and how the characters act. I will say this one caught me totally off guard, it was not even on my radar.
One thing that I was hoping to change, or show some growth was Lexie. As a character, she was a bit of an enigma, and could cause whiplash with her outbursts and thinking going from one extreme to the next. Then there were other times where she was frustrating and argumentative. She would seem to have a breakthrough, then do another complete 180° turn. It honestly feels like she was more mature at 15/16 years old then she was during the present time of the book. I just wasn’t understanding her, and felt we didn’t get to dive in to why. This girl needed to start therapy a long time ago.
Overall this was coasting along quite nicely for me, I figured it to be a solid 4 star read until about the last 25%. This section just didn’t really work for me. There was way too much going on to the point where you couldn’t even digest one issue before the next came. This was where my Lexie issues really started to become prominent. A majority of this last 25% didn’t make a lot of sense to me, and then the book just ended. No falling action, no conclusion, and several questions still unanswered. I’m left more confused now.
Of note: there is a trigger warning at the beginning of the book, but I just want to point it out here for it to be considered. There is abuse, assault, mental health concerns, etc.
*An ARC was received in exchange for an honest review.
July 5, 2024
Cade and Alex have a secret,
When Cade walks in as Alex’s new boss, no one knows they ultimately know each other .. they grew up together as teenagers.. they had a few heated moments .. then their life was altered and it was sixteen years later.. he fell first, he fell hard
“ he looks angry, like he’d shove your face into a pillow and tell you to keep your mouth shut “
“The boy I used to know has been replaced with a man - a wholly f@ckable man”
“ I can tell you everytime I’ve f@cked a woman, I’ve been thinking of you”
“I’ll fight for her if I must, I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her, Whatever it takes”
Ultimately will love prevail or will they be to scared to remember what they had!
I loved this book, I was unsure it’s not my normal read, I did really enjoy reading this and thought that the tension and connection between Cade and Alex was off the charts!
When Cade walks in as Alex’s new boss, no one knows they ultimately know each other .. they grew up together as teenagers.. they had a few heated moments .. then their life was altered and it was sixteen years later.. he fell first, he fell hard
“ he looks angry, like he’d shove your face into a pillow and tell you to keep your mouth shut “
“The boy I used to know has been replaced with a man - a wholly f@ckable man”
“ I can tell you everytime I’ve f@cked a woman, I’ve been thinking of you”
“I’ll fight for her if I must, I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her, Whatever it takes”
Ultimately will love prevail or will they be to scared to remember what they had!
I loved this book, I was unsure it’s not my normal read, I did really enjoy reading this and thought that the tension and connection between Cade and Alex was off the charts!
July 18, 2024
Did I devour this book in one sitting…yes, yes I did! This was 100% a binge read and I’m not sorry about it.
Told from dual points of view the story centres around Cade and Alex (or as he calls her, Lexie). Cade and his father move in with Alex and her mother for a brief time when they are teenagers. The dual timeline shows how their relationship blossomed and the beautiful connection they had until a nightmare incident bought it all to a screaming halt.
16 years later Cade enters Alex’s workplace as her new boss bringing all of their chemistry and hurt back to the surface. The feelings they still have for one another causing internal chaos to them both.
One of them is desperate to explore a second chance and the other is petrified the skeletons will tear them apart. One of them also has a secret they haven’t told the other yet…insert twist near the end 🤯
I was a bit hesitant around the step brother/step sister trope, but it was nothing like I imagined and was actually really well done. Dean’s writing style takes us on a journey of yearning, blossoming romance and enduring heartbreak that stays with both characters for 16 years. The only thing I found a little clunky in a couple of spots was the abruptness of the change in timelines.
Please note there are some trigger warnings with this book which could be confronting. So check those before reading.
Thank you to Hot Tree Publishing and the author for a copy in exchange for an honest review.
Told from dual points of view the story centres around Cade and Alex (or as he calls her, Lexie). Cade and his father move in with Alex and her mother for a brief time when they are teenagers. The dual timeline shows how their relationship blossomed and the beautiful connection they had until a nightmare incident bought it all to a screaming halt.
16 years later Cade enters Alex’s workplace as her new boss bringing all of their chemistry and hurt back to the surface. The feelings they still have for one another causing internal chaos to them both.
One of them is desperate to explore a second chance and the other is petrified the skeletons will tear them apart. One of them also has a secret they haven’t told the other yet…insert twist near the end 🤯
I was a bit hesitant around the step brother/step sister trope, but it was nothing like I imagined and was actually really well done. Dean’s writing style takes us on a journey of yearning, blossoming romance and enduring heartbreak that stays with both characters for 16 years. The only thing I found a little clunky in a couple of spots was the abruptness of the change in timelines.
Please note there are some trigger warnings with this book which could be confronting. So check those before reading.
Thank you to Hot Tree Publishing and the author for a copy in exchange for an honest review.
July 30, 2024
My thanks to LibraryThing and Hot Tree Publishing for my e-ARC.
This book was definitely emotionally heavier than I expected. I thought it would be a somewhat light awkward reunion romance. And it was more graphic than I anticipated. Not a bad thing, but I just wasn’t prepared for it.
Only child Alex grew up with her single over-the-top protective mom, Jacquelin. No bio-dad in the picture since she was an infant. Cade, also an only child, lost his mom to illness. Only, he was old enough to remember her so he was angry and traumatized. He was raised by Mark, his dad.
Everything changed when Alex’s mom and Cade’s dad got together. Circumstances were such that 15 year-old Alex and 17 year-old Cade were living under the same roof. Cade was reticent, enigmatic and…very attractive. Alex was intrigued. Something was bound to happen. And it did.
Then it ended…suddenly and badly.
Sixteen years later, the company Alex works for is bought by…Cade.
From the first page, I was hooked. I liked the dual POV’s and the time shifts were smooth. It was an engrossing read. And the title…apt. The meaning behind it changed depending on the context.
This book was definitely emotionally heavier than I expected. I thought it would be a somewhat light awkward reunion romance. And it was more graphic than I anticipated. Not a bad thing, but I just wasn’t prepared for it.
Only child Alex grew up with her single over-the-top protective mom, Jacquelin. No bio-dad in the picture since she was an infant. Cade, also an only child, lost his mom to illness. Only, he was old enough to remember her so he was angry and traumatized. He was raised by Mark, his dad.
Everything changed when Alex’s mom and Cade’s dad got together. Circumstances were such that 15 year-old Alex and 17 year-old Cade were living under the same roof. Cade was reticent, enigmatic and…very attractive. Alex was intrigued. Something was bound to happen. And it did.
Then it ended…suddenly and badly.
Sixteen years later, the company Alex works for is bought by…Cade.
From the first page, I was hooked. I liked the dual POV’s and the time shifts were smooth. It was an engrossing read. And the title…apt. The meaning behind it changed depending on the context.
May 27, 2024
This story has a dual POV, past to present layout. We follow Alex and Cade’s journey from childhood/high school sweethearts—Abrupt ending—and chance rekindling. Alex and Cade meet when Cade and his father—who has been dating Alex’s mother for several months— are being evicted from their current home, resulting in Alex’s mother, an aggressive and angry drinker, extending an invite for the two of them to move into their home. Alex and Cade instantly hit it off, as friends, which blossoms into something more flirtatious and eventually—first love. Now it’s 16 years later and Cade is now Alex’s “new boss”. After all they have been through together and lack of closure the two find they never stopped thinking about and loving each other, they’re together at last, though it wasn’t quite that easy.
I enjoyed this book but I feel like there could’ve been much more—I didn’t feel like I had enough of the past relationship and the buildup, why they left, etc., and I felt like there could’ve been a little more unpredictability where the rekindling of their love was concerned, maybe a little more apprehension from Alex? But I guess she’d always loved him so it wasn’t needed? And then the whole drug cartel thing at the very end and the PI bit? I don’t know, all in all it was a fun read just feel left with a few questions.
Thank you NetGalley and Xpresso book tours for the ARC!
I enjoyed this book but I feel like there could’ve been much more—I didn’t feel like I had enough of the past relationship and the buildup, why they left, etc., and I felt like there could’ve been a little more unpredictability where the rekindling of their love was concerned, maybe a little more apprehension from Alex? But I guess she’d always loved him so it wasn’t needed? And then the whole drug cartel thing at the very end and the PI bit? I don’t know, all in all it was a fun read just feel left with a few questions.
Thank you NetGalley and Xpresso book tours for the ARC!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 3, 2024
✨ARC Review 📚✨
4 ⭐️
2 🌶️
This is the first book from Maria Dean that I read. I read the synopsis and knew I had to read this book. I was so excited to have received an eARC of this book. The story follows Alexandria Knowles and Cade Westwood, they met via their parents dating. Alex "Lexie" was turning 16 and Cade was 17, slow they started getting along and feelings started to develop. This story is told in Dual POV and Dual Timeline. We see what happened 16 years ago when everything went wrong in their love story and see them get a second chance. They both experienced a traumatic childhood which is one of the reasons that caused them to separate. I enjoyed reading this book, I didn't expect a different ending but it was a good story none the less. I definitely recommend picking this book up.
Thanks to author Maria Dean, Netgalley and Xpresso Book Tours for the opportunity to receive this ARC.
4 ⭐️
2 🌶️
This is the first book from Maria Dean that I read. I read the synopsis and knew I had to read this book. I was so excited to have received an eARC of this book. The story follows Alexandria Knowles and Cade Westwood, they met via their parents dating. Alex "Lexie" was turning 16 and Cade was 17, slow they started getting along and feelings started to develop. This story is told in Dual POV and Dual Timeline. We see what happened 16 years ago when everything went wrong in their love story and see them get a second chance. They both experienced a traumatic childhood which is one of the reasons that caused them to separate. I enjoyed reading this book, I didn't expect a different ending but it was a good story none the less. I definitely recommend picking this book up.
Thanks to author Maria Dean, Netgalley and Xpresso Book Tours for the opportunity to receive this ARC.
July 25, 2024
Author Maria Dean incorporated several heavy topics in “Not Without Me” and carried that out in a romance story that showed characters dealing with past trauma in different ways.
“Not Without Me” is told through past and present, as Alex and Cade, step-siblings and former boyfriend and girlfriend, reunite as boss and employee. Readers will see how their relationship first developed and get a sense of the damage Alex’s mother created due to her strictness and own personal challenges.
Alex and Cade have a shared history but have dealt with it differently. Each character struggled. Each had blamed themselves for the past, and I liked how the author addressed it and how readers could see the growth of each character.
“Not Without Me” was an emotional read with several well-written, steamy scenes mixed in. It was a memorable story.
Thank you to Hot Tree Publishing and Author Maria Dean for the gifted, advanced reader copy of “Not without Me.” I am leaving this review voluntarily.
“Not Without Me” is told through past and present, as Alex and Cade, step-siblings and former boyfriend and girlfriend, reunite as boss and employee. Readers will see how their relationship first developed and get a sense of the damage Alex’s mother created due to her strictness and own personal challenges.
Alex and Cade have a shared history but have dealt with it differently. Each character struggled. Each had blamed themselves for the past, and I liked how the author addressed it and how readers could see the growth of each character.
“Not Without Me” was an emotional read with several well-written, steamy scenes mixed in. It was a memorable story.
Thank you to Hot Tree Publishing and Author Maria Dean for the gifted, advanced reader copy of “Not without Me.” I am leaving this review voluntarily.
July 29, 2024
Wow! This book is so consumable it’s ridiculous! When I say I devoured it! I found myself having to pick it up to squeeze a chapter in here and there.
I’m a fantasy girl at heart, so often I’m just waiting for the vampires to show up! Lol But this is a contemporary to rave about.
Personally I love the time split and how the author uses little devices to trigger their memories into the past.
I loved Lexie’s portrayal into the transformation from girl to woman, Alex. It was gritty and well done, she wasn’t perfect. And traits of abuse survivors were portrayed both delicately but also with rawness.
The midway twist - we’ve all been dying to know what happened to end their blissful relationship when they were kids. I never would have guessed it in a million years - yet it still rang true.
Loved it - this is for those who love raw, real contemporary romances.
I’m a fantasy girl at heart, so often I’m just waiting for the vampires to show up! Lol But this is a contemporary to rave about.
Personally I love the time split and how the author uses little devices to trigger their memories into the past.
I loved Lexie’s portrayal into the transformation from girl to woman, Alex. It was gritty and well done, she wasn’t perfect. And traits of abuse survivors were portrayed both delicately but also with rawness.
The midway twist - we’ve all been dying to know what happened to end their blissful relationship when they were kids. I never would have guessed it in a million years - yet it still rang true.
Loved it - this is for those who love raw, real contemporary romances.
July 26, 2024
ARC Review ↝ I enjoyed this one, it gave me little book flutters as young love was explored. However, while I was swept up in this love story quickly, I also felt heartache with our main characters, Alex (Lexie) and Cade as bits of what happened to get them to where they are transpired.
The dual timelines/dual POV aspect connected the characters’ “what is and what could have been”aspirations and made them feel all the more tactile. Overall, Dean has grabbed my attention and I can’t help but want to read more of her work.
Many thanks to Hot Tree Publishing and Maria Dean for gifting me this book for review.
The dual timelines/dual POV aspect connected the characters’ “what is and what could have been”aspirations and made them feel all the more tactile. Overall, Dean has grabbed my attention and I can’t help but want to read more of her work.
Many thanks to Hot Tree Publishing and Maria Dean for gifting me this book for review.
July 23, 2024
An emotional and captivating story about love, loss heartache and second chances.
We are introduced to teenagers, Alex and Cade whose relationship is complicated at the start being step siblings. As the story progresses their innocent connection deepens and they fall in love. Tragedy tears the young couple apart and both endure emotional and mental scars as a result.
Fast forward 16 years and the pair find themselves working side by side. The author does a great job ensuring that Cade and Lexie confront their past and open up even if it hurts. Facing the truth about their break up and the trauma experienced allows them to move forward and find their way back to each other.
As always please check the trigger warnings.
Read if you enjoy:
- Dual POV
- Dual Timeline
- Second Chance Romance
- Forbidden Romance
- Stepbrother/Stepsister
3/5 Stars
We are introduced to teenagers, Alex and Cade whose relationship is complicated at the start being step siblings. As the story progresses their innocent connection deepens and they fall in love. Tragedy tears the young couple apart and both endure emotional and mental scars as a result.
Fast forward 16 years and the pair find themselves working side by side. The author does a great job ensuring that Cade and Lexie confront their past and open up even if it hurts. Facing the truth about their break up and the trauma experienced allows them to move forward and find their way back to each other.
As always please check the trigger warnings.
Read if you enjoy:
- Dual POV
- Dual Timeline
- Second Chance Romance
- Forbidden Romance
- Stepbrother/Stepsister
3/5 Stars
August 11, 2024
Such a beautifully written second chance romance.
Cade and Alex are brought together when her mother and his father move in together. They begin to build an inseparable bond and quickly fall in love. But all this is ripped apart when their parents separate and Cade is moved away from her.
When their paths cross 16 years later has too much damage already been done for them to enjoy their happily ever after?
This book really built up and quickly grabbed me. It is told in now and then chapters exploring the main characters relation from both timelines. The way the story develops really intrigued me and had me flying through the chapters.
The relationship built between Cade and Alex is so beautifully constructed. He only has eyes for her and even though so many years has passed he remembers every intricate detail about her. I fell in love with Cades character right from the beginning.
A nice little surprise from this one, loved it!
Thank you to Hot tree publishing for the ARC.
Cade and Alex are brought together when her mother and his father move in together. They begin to build an inseparable bond and quickly fall in love. But all this is ripped apart when their parents separate and Cade is moved away from her.
When their paths cross 16 years later has too much damage already been done for them to enjoy their happily ever after?
This book really built up and quickly grabbed me. It is told in now and then chapters exploring the main characters relation from both timelines. The way the story develops really intrigued me and had me flying through the chapters.
The relationship built between Cade and Alex is so beautifully constructed. He only has eyes for her and even though so many years has passed he remembers every intricate detail about her. I fell in love with Cades character right from the beginning.
A nice little surprise from this one, loved it!
Thank you to Hot tree publishing for the ARC.
June 30, 2024
“Ever since I met you, you’ve been in my head. It’s like you’ve crept inside and taken over the controls.”
From the first chapter oWwwW what do we have here?
Enter, ‘Not without me’ by Maria Dean. I’m a sucker for forbidden romance! Easy to get lost in and just chill out and read.
We meet Alex, a real estate agent waiting to meet the new owner of their workplace. Not expecting a tall broody blast from the past to wonder through. It’s been 16 years, can they let the past control the present or be forever doomed after that fateful day 16 years ago.
The book carries a lot of then and now perspectives, showing us more of their history. It’s a mixture of past and present . She then constantly dragged in to memories of the past by seeing things in her present and the memories taking hold. Once we get Cades perspective we still get the switching of time, it’s well done with floating back into past through triggers of memory.
“My memories are torture enough; I don’t need to stick another blade in the wound. But he’s here. He’s back.”
I was hoping for a Cade perspective so when we got there about 30% I was like yes yes please I need to see his brain.
The reason they separated was not what I expected. Not at all!
There is def some heavy themes so be sure to check triggers if you feel the need.
This is my first time reading Maria Dean and I really enjoyed the ride. It was unexpected in ways and I loved how I could sit down in the arvo and finish it before bed.
I look forward to more books by Maria as it was easy to read and kept my super distracted brain distracted for the entirety.
4.5 ⭐️
Tropes
Second chance romance
Touch her and d!3
Stepbrother/step sister
Forbidden romance
Hurt/comfort
Triggers
SA on page
Abuse of parent
Alcohol abuse
Controlling parent
Near death experience
Thanks to Hot Tree Publishing for my copy these are my totally honest and totally cool opinions.
From the first chapter oWwwW what do we have here?
Enter, ‘Not without me’ by Maria Dean. I’m a sucker for forbidden romance! Easy to get lost in and just chill out and read.
We meet Alex, a real estate agent waiting to meet the new owner of their workplace. Not expecting a tall broody blast from the past to wonder through. It’s been 16 years, can they let the past control the present or be forever doomed after that fateful day 16 years ago.
The book carries a lot of then and now perspectives, showing us more of their history. It’s a mixture of past and present . She then constantly dragged in to memories of the past by seeing things in her present and the memories taking hold. Once we get Cades perspective we still get the switching of time, it’s well done with floating back into past through triggers of memory.
“My memories are torture enough; I don’t need to stick another blade in the wound. But he’s here. He’s back.”
I was hoping for a Cade perspective so when we got there about 30% I was like yes yes please I need to see his brain.
The reason they separated was not what I expected. Not at all!
There is def some heavy themes so be sure to check triggers if you feel the need.
This is my first time reading Maria Dean and I really enjoyed the ride. It was unexpected in ways and I loved how I could sit down in the arvo and finish it before bed.
I look forward to more books by Maria as it was easy to read and kept my super distracted brain distracted for the entirety.
4.5 ⭐️
Tropes
Second chance romance
Touch her and d!3
Stepbrother/step sister
Forbidden romance
Hurt/comfort
Triggers
SA on page
Abuse of parent
Alcohol abuse
Controlling parent
Near death experience
Thanks to Hot Tree Publishing for my copy these are my totally honest and totally cool opinions.
August 1, 2024
HE GIVES HER A NICKNAME BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T LIKE HER NAME!!!! WHAT?!?!!!
If this is not enough to convince you then I don't what is...
Thank you to NetGalley for giving me the opportunity to be an ARC reader for this book. This book takes readers on an emotional journey through a dual timeline, keeping you hooked from start to finish.
The story begins with the entrance of Cade Westwood into the Lexie's life as her mum’s new partner's brooding son. Their initial connection is innocent yet charged with intrigue, as Cade's mysterious past adds layers of complexity to their relationship. Fast forward sixteen years, and Cade reappears as her boss, reigniting old wounds and buried feelings.
The book is beautifully written, skillfully weaving past and present to reveal the depth of their shared history. The dual timeline effectively builds suspense, making you eager to uncover the secrets Cade harbors and the unresolved emotions that still linger.
Be sure to check the trigger warnings before diving in, as the story delves into some intense themes. Overall, this book is a captivating and heartfelt read that kept me wondering and thoroughly engaged throughout. If you enjoy well-crafted romance with a touch of mystery, this book is a must-read.
If this is not enough to convince you then I don't what is...
Thank you to NetGalley for giving me the opportunity to be an ARC reader for this book. This book takes readers on an emotional journey through a dual timeline, keeping you hooked from start to finish.
The story begins with the entrance of Cade Westwood into the Lexie's life as her mum’s new partner's brooding son. Their initial connection is innocent yet charged with intrigue, as Cade's mysterious past adds layers of complexity to their relationship. Fast forward sixteen years, and Cade reappears as her boss, reigniting old wounds and buried feelings.
The book is beautifully written, skillfully weaving past and present to reveal the depth of their shared history. The dual timeline effectively builds suspense, making you eager to uncover the secrets Cade harbors and the unresolved emotions that still linger.
Be sure to check the trigger warnings before diving in, as the story delves into some intense themes. Overall, this book is a captivating and heartfelt read that kept me wondering and thoroughly engaged throughout. If you enjoy well-crafted romance with a touch of mystery, this book is a must-read.
July 26, 2024
Book Review
Not without me
Rating: 5 🌟
“It’ll always be me who claims your thoughts, your body and your pleasure. Me and only me.”
🫦 second chance
🫦 dual POV
🫦 friends to lovers
🫦 shared trauma
🫦 step siblings
🫦 angsty
🫦 boss/employee
I do not know where to even start. This book was so phenomenal and I found myself unable to put it down. I instantly connected with the characters and felt every emotion they went through. Maria has done such a great job creating and building her characters.
I loved that we are taken back in the past as the characters have flash backs to what life was 16yrs ago. This adds so much to this book and I just wanted to know what happened that was so bad that they never spoke again until now.
Maria has executed this book so well and when I tell you I was gasping at the reason they no longer spoke OMFG! Please read the trigger warnings before reading this book.
This is a must read
Not without me
Rating: 5 🌟
“It’ll always be me who claims your thoughts, your body and your pleasure. Me and only me.”
🫦 second chance
🫦 dual POV
🫦 friends to lovers
🫦 shared trauma
🫦 step siblings
🫦 angsty
🫦 boss/employee
I do not know where to even start. This book was so phenomenal and I found myself unable to put it down. I instantly connected with the characters and felt every emotion they went through. Maria has done such a great job creating and building her characters.
I loved that we are taken back in the past as the characters have flash backs to what life was 16yrs ago. This adds so much to this book and I just wanted to know what happened that was so bad that they never spoke again until now.
Maria has executed this book so well and when I tell you I was gasping at the reason they no longer spoke OMFG! Please read the trigger warnings before reading this book.
This is a must read
December 12, 2024
Wow. RA
You don't ever think of a boy being abused... Loved it must read I love the way it goes back in time.
You don't ever think of a boy being abused... Loved it must read I love the way it goes back in time.
August 3, 2024
This book had me captivated at the very beginning! I liked how we got to look from past to present. I was wondering what the big secret was the whole book and then finally at the very end we find out what it is! Boy was I shocked. Out of all of the things I guessed it was not that! I felt for the characters as they were just teens when it happened. The character growth was Nicely done as well!
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