Awkwardness: A Theory

by Alexandra Plakias

Awkwardness offers an account of the psychology and philosophical significance of a ubiquitous social phenomenon. Our aversion to awkwardness mirrors our desire for inclusion. This explains its power to influence and silence as social creatures, we don't want to mark ourselves as outsiders. As a result, our fear of awkwardness inhibits critique and conversation, acting as an impediment to moral and social progress. Even the act of describing people as "awkward" exacerbates existing inequities, by consigning them to a social status that gives them less access to the social goods (knowledge, confidence, social esteem) needed to navigate potentially awkward situations.

Awkwardness discusses how we ostracize and punish those who fail to fit into existing social categories; how we all depend on--and are limited by--social scripts and norms for guidance; and how these norms frequently let us down when we need them. But awkwardness has a positive it can highlight opportunities for moral and social improvement, by revealing areas where our social norms and scripts fail to meet our needs or have yet to catch up with changing social and moral realities. Awkwardness ultimately underscores the conflict between our moral motivations and our desire for social approval and conformity.

Genres: Nonfiction, Philosophy

1 pages, Audio CD

Published March 26, 2024

Reviews

[Grace Fox · Rating 3 out of 5]

something about the tone was off…

some decent thinking on the topic, and clearly aware of the other thinking going on (kotsko, dahl, etc.) — but i felt like her argument was maybe too narrow? it didn’t resonate with me quite as much

[Karina · Rating 3 out of 5]

The style is very academic and a little dry, but I gleaned some valuable insights. The concept of social scripts will stick with me, as well as how fear of awkward situations could prevent social progress.

[Neal Tognazzini · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read this book with my philosophy students this fall, and I will say that it sponsored some great discussions. The topic is so good and I’m glad to see a philosopher taking it seriously. Still, it fell short of what I was hoping for. For one thing, there is a LOT of scaffolding (“here’s what we talked about in the last chapter; here’s what we’ll discuss later”), which makes it feel like you are constantly reading a preview for the book rather than reading the book itself. Also - and perhaps relatedly - although the basic idea seemed fruitful, the substantive content of the book could likely have been conveyed in a single essay rather than a whole book. I would love to read a more well-worked out version of the basic idea, including, for example, a detailed explanation of what a social script is. That central concept didn’t get much explanation, and instead the author moved quickly to talking about corollary issues such as epistemic injustice, group identity, and our practices of holding each other accountable. After the first two chapters, the book felt fairly disorganized, albeit still interesting to think about.

[Chris · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was not what I thought it would be. It feels inaccessible and meaningless to the average individual since there is a lot of clinical vocabulary. There were a few points that were good, such as awkwardness and societal norms, awkwardness and social anxiety are two different things, discussion of owning awkwardness and who goes through the work and feels the cost of stating the awkward. Personally , I was hoping it was going to be more about social anxiety and awkwardness. The Audible reader was very good.

[Sarah Solorzano · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.75 ⭐️

I listened to this as an audiobook but perhaps it would’ve been better to read!

I had fun listening to the first few chapters but afterwards I was spacing out so hard because it was giving masters thesis. There was a lot of good insight and arguments to what awkwardness is and is not but I didn’t have that much fun reading it sadly.

[trestitia ⵊⵊⵊ deamorski]

note to self: https://aeon.co/essays/we-should-take...

[Lou · Rating 5 out of 5]

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