Confidence: Holding Your Seat through Life’s Eight Worldly Winds

by Ethan Nichtern

How do we stand firm amid the ups and downs of existence?

In today’s culture of polarization and constant change, how do we find the confidence to navigate challenges? Is now really the time for meditation, for looking inward? What do we do with mindfulness? Meditation teacher Ethan Nichtern tackles these questions, taking contemporary considerations of power, identity, ethics, and confidence to new heights in this essential guide to self-discovery.

Ethan examines the Buddhist concept of the Eight Worldly Winds, the four paired opposites of praise and blame, pleasure and pain, fame and insignificance, and success and failure. Delving into these dichotomies reveals invaluable insights into our relationships with others (including teachers, friends, leaders, the disgraced, and the adored) and ourselves. With transformative meditation exercises, Confidence empowers us to cultivate and access our innate wisdom.

Genres: Buddhism, Nonfiction, Self Help

240 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 21, 2024

About the author

Ethan Nichtern is a senior Buddhist teacher. He is the author of The Road Home: A Contemporary Exploration of the Buddhist Path (FSG Books, North Point, 2015) and One City: A Declaration of Interdependence (Wisdom Publications, 2007). He is also the founder and former director of The Interdependence Project, an organization dedicated to Buddhist-inspired meditation and psychology, transformational activism, mindful arts, and meaningful media. He teaches and lectures around the world and is based in New York City.

Reviews

[Tommy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Any book that opens by relating a Radiohead lyric to a tenet of Buddhism has my rapt attention. Of course, it helps that the book is by one of my favorite American Buddhist thinkers: writer & teacher Ethan Nichtern.

What follows is a thoughtful, accessible look at what it looks like to work with some of the most intrinsically human challenges we can face, collectively known here as the Eight Worldly Winds (Pleasure/Pain, Praise/Blame, Influence/Insignificance, Success/Failure). Ethan's insights on how we get tripped up - and how we reclaim our seat - are approached with wit, warmth, and a willingness to share his own missteps to illuminate the messiness of being a well-meaning, flawed being in 2024.

The confidence Ethan speaks about in this book isn't alpha-human swagger, nor is it the kind of confidence one might see discussed in a self-help book. This is a quality that is more grounded, more authentic, and subtle. It's about befriending ourselves so we can be of benefit to ourselves and others. It's about recognizing where the work needs to be done, not to highlight our flaws, but to shine a light on the path we all inevitably stumble off of.

Bonus: Ethan includes a handful of meditation practices that align with the spiritual resources (Compassion, Awareness, etc) that will help arouse this kind of confidence.

It's messy out there, gang. We need all the beneficial tools available to tap into the innate wisdom that will help us be kinder to ourselves and others. "Confidence" is a user-friendly toolbox for just such a journey.

[Betty · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listenend to and read this book prior to attending a retreat at the Garrison Institute with Ethan Nichtern. I am in awe of how Ethan takes some very ancient teachings and utilizes them in such a way that one can apply them into how we can live life more confidently in a world that can feel so troubling and overwhelming. The power of Windhorse may provide a gateway to profound change within our own selves, but more importantly in effecting real change to our word. Ethan - Thank you for all that you provide to the study of Buddhism in a wholly vulnerable and compassionate way.

[Danielle Shroyer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ethan is a former teacher of mine and I’ve enjoyed all of his books. This one is no exception. He offers a very accessible and helpful overview of working with the eight worldly winds, filled with good metaphors and stories.

[Abbey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Undoubtedly the book for our time. Ethan writes with such clarity and such care. We are lucky to have this text- a kind, direct and useful manual on how to hold our seats through the winds of change, hope and fear. I love nothing more than a Buddhist text that is infinitely accessible- this is the one, my friends!

[Alex · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really great dharma book

[Kyle McAfee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ethan Nichtern did it again.

I started reading this book as I was wrapping up a meditation teacher training (led by Ethan's father, David). Although confidence is not an area I struggle with, anxiety is. I was hoping that this book would provide me with some insight which I could use to support myself and those around me with more gentleness. What I found, however, was so much more!

Ethan manages to share his own experiences in way that doesn't feel like a trauma dump, but in a way that is extremely accessible to humans (shoutout to Tina). The book was not overly heavy in Buddhist terminology, but still taught me more than I knew going into it.

The only drawback from this book, however, were Ethan's frequent references to politics. No, I'm not referring to "woke" behavior like others have mentioned, but rather the condescending nature toward those whose political beliefs align more conservatively. For me, it took me out of the experience of learning and reflecting and reminded me that we live in a country that has a horrid political system that is deeply corrupted, on both sides of the spectrum. As someone who works in non-profit, I admire Ethan's work, but I also can acknowledge our society has a lot of work to do before any real change can happen. Yet, I think it all does tie back to confidence. Thanks, Ethan!

[Gisela Gueiros · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved the story of the difference between a monk and a person not familiar with mindfulness going through pain.

[Sherry · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read Ethan's book, "The Road Home" so I already knew I would love this book. I just didn't consider how much it would impact me. When I turned the final page, my first thought was that this should be required reading for all humans. Ethan has a way of speaking to topics (some of which have established languages through their particular lineages), using his own skillful means with language to speak to wider audiences, meeting us where we are without compromising the integrity of the topic. His humble willingness to look at and expose his own shadows in service of bigger learning, is an example of his warriorship. In an unexpected way, reading Confidence gave me insight into my growth journey and inspired me to pay deeper attention. I'm also really glad I read it when I did, approaching my own seat now more discerningly during turbulent times.

One of the points he clarified for me was the one about "basic goodness," language I've heard for decades that never landed fully. I was able to speak to it in a very superficial way that showed glimpses of understanding, but still wild with doubt. Ethan reframed it, linguistically, as that everyone is born with the seeds of awakening within them. That lands. Thank you, Ethan, for writing such a meaningful book.

[Bob Bergeson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This scrappy little book, has, for me, become a manual for living my daily routine... with the courage and confidence to seek my own path to final Awakening. Ethan has been a teacher of mine since 2009... his conversational tone in this book helps guide the reader through the positive and negative aspects of our human condition - pleasure/pain - gain/loss- praise/blame - fame /disgrace.

I have multiple highlighted copies of this book, I have given away two of them, one to my daughter and one to a long time spiritual friend, neither has any training in the Buddahist Dharma... both have reached out to me to disscuss some of my highlights and how they interpret the meaning. Very nice. This is a true daily reminder to find one's on true confidence in one's own journey home. This is the little book, for anyone, truly working at taken their own seat in life.

[Ricky · Rating 3 out of 5]

I went back and forth on how to rate this. It felt kind of all over the place to me. Initially I rated it two stars but there were some things I liked about it. For example, I think this might be the first book I've ever read that walks you through the process of windhorse. I think that's a great resource for people, although I don't know about how it's presented. I feel like I could use more context and more explanation as to what it is. Honestly even though it's something I always wish more people knew about, I always wonder if it would even make sense if you haven't done the groundwork of all of the meditation training that you would typically do before doing the practice. There are some other good thoughts here in terms of how to see the world that we're living in right now but again it just felt all over the place to me.

[Philip Anderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a fun and inspiring read! Practical advice without preaching or self-aggrandizing. Above all else, Ethan has skillfully transmuted ancient Buddhist concepts into accessible insights that are directly applicable to our modern lives (without abandoning the lineage from which these concepts have come). I highly recommend ‘Confidence’ to anyone interested in cultivating more trust in their own inherent goodness. This was my first Ethan book; now I'm excited to catch up on his catalog.

[Brent Hoover · Rating 2 out of 5]

Was really disappointed in this book. It seems to just meander and spend a lot of time talking about things like issues at Shambala that seem irrelevant to the topic. At one point I just had to stop reading because I could not figure out how any of what we was talking about was related to the topic that is the title of the book.

He makes a point of saying "this is not a self-help book" and it's true. I did not find it helpful at all.

[Lukasz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life pushes and pulls us in a myriad of ways and directions. Whether it’s pleasure or pain, hope and fear, or success and failure amongst others. Ethan Nichtern delves into all of these “winds” and more as he writes how to develop confidence in our lives while tackling these challenges. The book is engaging, down to earth, with concise instructions on how to “hold your seat” and develop said confidence when these winds of change rattle us in our lives. Highly recommended.

[Aaron Ebron · Rating 5 out of 5]

A friend heard Ethan teach and gave me this book.

It's exactly what I needed. Really good writing, insight, and humor!

Definitely will read The Road Home next. Recommend to everyone who needs a very human approach to confidence.

[Erin Nielsen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a breath of fresh air. Focused around Buddhist principles and how to apply them in a culture of constant change and polarization. And how beautiful is the cover art? "You are here. You are of this Earth. You belong here. You get a spot. This spot is yours. Claim it. Take your seat".

[Bowman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Got an ARC and absolutely loved this. So well-written and helpful!

[Goddard Rebling · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such beautiful writing. I loved One City when I read it a long time ago too.

[Kathleen Mahnke · Rating 3 out of 5]

More dharma, less self-help, please.

[Steve · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ethan does an excellent job demonstrating the frames that may influence us every day, and then highlights the importance of how we place ourselves when facing that influence. Highly recommend for anyone looking to reflect upon how they navigate life.

[Claire Parsons · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a great book and an easy read. I liked it so much I did a review for The Tattooed Buddha here:

https://thetattooedbuddha.com/2024/07...

[Zachary · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. Ethan Nichtern is a really great teacher, he is very clear and knowledgeable, and he's not overly analytical or pretentious about his teachings.
I think the Eight Worldly Winds are a great entry point for finding a path through life's great uncertainties, and I will likely revisit this book in the future to find new gems to apply in my practice.