TW: SI
Neil does it again! He’s my favorite poet with Button Poetry. He got me hooked with his OCD and Joey poems, and I’m so glad I’ve continued to stick with him. Everything he writes has a purpose and a message behind it, no matter how random it might seem. I appreciate poets who are direct about mental health, not trying to sugarcoat it, while also not being triggering. I never knew that a poem using Oppy (NASA’s Mars rover Opportunity) as a metaphor would almost make me cry. That poem (“Opportunity, Wake Up!) was so amazing and powerful, yet hilarious and I really loved that. This particular book has a lot more optimism than I’ve seen in his prior ones! My only wish is that it were longer (of course that’s always my wish for his books).
“I’m so full that every part of me is now structurally integral. Remove any brick and the whole house will explode.”
The vanishing pharmacopeia (or, ballad for an escape)
“This one, the new psychiatrist says, is gonna be magic. And here’s the thing- I believe her, or I’m willing to; I want to be better and I’m willing to believe that this is part of how to get better… I’m ready to believe in magic. Give me an elephant and all the right mirrors. Give me a bullet suddenly cradled in the palm. Something has to disappear, please let it not be me.”
“Not all hard times turn you into a better person. Sometimes you go through something that undoes all the work you did before, all the yoga and therapy the “being mindful”, and all that good shit just falls apart.”
“I always thought I could never truly be good unless I sprinted unthinking into a forest or dragged a child from fire into darkness, how dumb is that, thinking that my immediate reactions define who I am. My brain thinks all kinds of shit that comes from me but isn’t all of me. I am not my thoughts. I am a person and I have thoughts. I am the whole engine, not just the gasoline. To be good, all you have to do is try to be good. You might mess up everything you try, but you still have to, you know. You still have to try.”
“All I had to do was nothing. It’s the easiest thing in the world not to swim. The water is warm enough to be confused for arms. The bubbles swimming last could be taken for planets. I don’t have to be here, but I want to. I want every day more life. When my breath catches and I’m drawn downward and the light begins to fade, I cut myself free, and I swim.”