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All Who Believed: A Memoir of Life in the Twelve Tribes
“Come for a day or to stay!” beckons the maroon double-decker bus called The Peacemaker. One couple, searching for peace and a better life, did just that. In August of 2000, Tamara Mathieu and her husband gave up everything they had and joined the Twelve Tribes, a worldwide religious organization, with their 17-month-old son. They were just 23 years old. Fourteen years and three more children later, they fled back to “the real world.” This is the story of Tamara’s journey to freedom.
All Who Believed gives an honest look behind the scenes of the day-to-day life of a married woman and mother in the Twelve Tribes, exposing the abuse and mind control that is a normal part of that life, as well as the controversial beliefs of this cult next door.
All Who Believed gives an honest look behind the scenes of the day-to-day life of a married woman and mother in the Twelve Tribes, exposing the abuse and mind control that is a normal part of that life, as well as the controversial beliefs of this cult next door.
282 pages, Paperback
First published May 21, 2024
17 people are currently reading
253 people want to read
About the author
Tamara Mathieu
1 book4 followersTamara Mathieu works for Northwestern Counseling and Support Services in St. Albans, Vermont, as lead facilitator of a day program for adults with developmental disabilities. She resides in Swanton with her husband and children. She now also has two granddaughters, Ella and Emersyn. "All Who Believed" is her first book.
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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
May 8, 2024
Religious cults have been around for years and draw in new members by making them feel welcome and wanted. Prospective members, including Tamara Mathieu and her husband become convinced that they want to be part of this life and join a cult such as the Twelve Tribes.
Only Tamara finds that life on the inside is not the same as she envisioned after making multiple visits. She provides her readers with an in-depth and honest look at life inside the group. Some of it is horrifying. The reality of life as a full member of the cult is very different than the promises she fell for before joining.
This is not a glossed over and pretty story but is one that needs to be told. Although I do not hear about cults as much now as I did years ago, this book reminded me that they are still out there.
Thank you to Rootstock Publishing for providing me with an advance copy of All Who Believed: A Memoir of Life in the Twelve Tribes. No promise was requested or made of a positive review, but I honestly feel that this is a story worth reading.
Only Tamara finds that life on the inside is not the same as she envisioned after making multiple visits. She provides her readers with an in-depth and honest look at life inside the group. Some of it is horrifying. The reality of life as a full member of the cult is very different than the promises she fell for before joining.
This is not a glossed over and pretty story but is one that needs to be told. Although I do not hear about cults as much now as I did years ago, this book reminded me that they are still out there.
Thank you to Rootstock Publishing for providing me with an advance copy of All Who Believed: A Memoir of Life in the Twelve Tribes. No promise was requested or made of a positive review, but I honestly feel that this is a story worth reading.
July 12, 2024
I used to think I could join a community like Twelve Tribes. I’d read their literature and met a few TT members. But there is a vast difference between the propaganda and the reality of what really goes on in life of the TT.
The author does a great service in writing about her experience in her memoir. Excellent, excellent book. Recommended.
The author does a great service in writing about her experience in her memoir. Excellent, excellent book. Recommended.
June 23, 2024
Memoirs are always difficult because not all narrators are reliable and it's one person's memories and experience. That said, I think Mathieu is not an unreliable narrator and this really was her experience. The Twelve Tribes is disturbing, but the picture she paints doesn't include some of the more lurid or extreme rumours I've read about. It was also more believable because she showed how things weren't equally oppressive and negative in all of the places she lived; some were much better than others.
I live in a region where there is more than one TT location so have taken it upon myself to visit two of them, both on Friday nights and Saturdays to see things for myself and not just go by what is out there on the internet. Even if they are putting their best foot (feet?) forward it's still possible to spot things. Even I could see that the kids on one location were more free to speak up in a meeting than in the other and that there was a wee bit of variation in the skirts (one had only solid print skirts, unless they changed the rules since this was over about a year) but the same pants. In one group, only women did the cooking for the Friday night Sabbath meal but men helped serve; in the other, smaller one, an entire family did the cooking and serving--in both it's rotated by three teams, which I think is mentioned in the book.
But this is a review of the book. Overall, well done, and I think anyone who wants to learn about the Twelve Tribes should include it in their search, but it's important to question everything and talk to people who love it there (there are some and it's obvious they do), and if you're going to read their literature and have never read the Bible then be very careful before you accept what they are teaching because they take many verses out of context and they are, without a doubt, a controlling group, and the first red flag is them asking people (not forcing them outright) to give them all of their money and assets and to work for having their needs met. But it's interesting to see why some people went there who were longing for something all of their lives and are still there decades later.
I live in a region where there is more than one TT location so have taken it upon myself to visit two of them, both on Friday nights and Saturdays to see things for myself and not just go by what is out there on the internet. Even if they are putting their best foot (feet?) forward it's still possible to spot things. Even I could see that the kids on one location were more free to speak up in a meeting than in the other and that there was a wee bit of variation in the skirts (one had only solid print skirts, unless they changed the rules since this was over about a year) but the same pants. In one group, only women did the cooking for the Friday night Sabbath meal but men helped serve; in the other, smaller one, an entire family did the cooking and serving--in both it's rotated by three teams, which I think is mentioned in the book.
But this is a review of the book. Overall, well done, and I think anyone who wants to learn about the Twelve Tribes should include it in their search, but it's important to question everything and talk to people who love it there (there are some and it's obvious they do), and if you're going to read their literature and have never read the Bible then be very careful before you accept what they are teaching because they take many verses out of context and they are, without a doubt, a controlling group, and the first red flag is them asking people (not forcing them outright) to give them all of their money and assets and to work for having their needs met. But it's interesting to see why some people went there who were longing for something all of their lives and are still there decades later.
June 1, 2024
A fascinating memoir of a woman and her family who lived for 14 years in a cult (the Twelve Tribes). I found the book very interesting, as it was an inside look into a cult that is often perceived as “benign.”
June 13, 2024
This book came out at a very good time for me since a family member joined the Twelve Tribes within the last year, but started visiting them 2 years ago. After reading memoirs by people I know IRL (I don't know Mathieu and had never heard of her before) I realize that they are only one person's story/POV, so I take all of them with a grain of salt.
What I liked about this is that she pointed out that things weren't equally bad in each of the communities she lived. Because I've visited two communities a number of times to visit our relative I've had a chance to see differences even with what one can observe as a visitor, which obviously is what they want you to see. Unlike Mathieu at the time, I have read the Bible many times so when I read things I'm given I can go back and reread things to see how things are twisted in order to fit what they are teaching. For example, they take scriptures out of context, particularly ones in the epistles where you really have to read the entire epistle to see what is actually being said because it's going somewhere. The first red flag I heard about with this group, before I ever looked it up, was when I was told that you are asked to give them all of your money and assets and that you work for nothing because your needs are all met. This memoir gives a more clear picture of what that actually entails.
However, one of the things I've done when visiting is ask people how they became involved with TT and it's clear by their body language that some of the women absolutely love it there and finally found fulfillment and the older people--some who have been there for 40 years and more--seem to be well taken care of. I'm not going to discuss the theological fallacies (not all theologians agree on what things mean in the Bible, but when they are particularly disturbing it's because they have fallacies almost every Bible scholar knows are fallacies.)
What I liked about this is that she pointed out that things weren't equally bad in each of the communities she lived. Because I've visited two communities a number of times to visit our relative I've had a chance to see differences even with what one can observe as a visitor, which obviously is what they want you to see. Unlike Mathieu at the time, I have read the Bible many times so when I read things I'm given I can go back and reread things to see how things are twisted in order to fit what they are teaching. For example, they take scriptures out of context, particularly ones in the epistles where you really have to read the entire epistle to see what is actually being said because it's going somewhere. The first red flag I heard about with this group, before I ever looked it up, was when I was told that you are asked to give them all of your money and assets and that you work for nothing because your needs are all met. This memoir gives a more clear picture of what that actually entails.
However, one of the things I've done when visiting is ask people how they became involved with TT and it's clear by their body language that some of the women absolutely love it there and finally found fulfillment and the older people--some who have been there for 40 years and more--seem to be well taken care of. I'm not going to discuss the theological fallacies (not all theologians agree on what things mean in the Bible, but when they are particularly disturbing it's because they have fallacies almost every Bible scholar knows are fallacies.)
February 24, 2025
I first heard of The Twelve Tribes when I was young and my dad, a talented fiddle player, stopped by the Tribes-run Yellow Deli in his hometown of Oneonta, New York. He told me about his experience at the deli, the good food, and the people who invited him to come back that evening to play music with them. He went, and they were enthusiastic about his fiddle playing, encouraging him to stay longer or to even come back again. He politely declined and recalls the evening as unremarkable, the people kind and welcoming (of course, lol).
Of course, to my little freak mind I think of this encounter as the time the Twelve Tribes tried to recruit my father. This was most probably not the case, but it’s an interesting story nonetheless.
I had forgotten that The Twelve Tribes had communities in Vermont and it was really interesting to read about the places mentioned in the text, almost all of which are within a few hours drive of where I live.
The ending felt abrupt and I wanted a bit more froM the author in terms of reflection on her life post-TT, but I also understand that she doesn’t owe anyone that and she’s honestly been through quite enough.
It was interesting to see how much the TT’s philosophies overlap with many other present-day high control/cult-like groups, including sects of Christian Fundamentalism.
The syntax was not my favorite and the sometimes-stilted writing style took me out of it a bit, but I do imagine some of that could be attributed to the author’s ongoing deconstruction from such a high control group that all but forbids any kind of individuality or unique voice.
Of course, to my little freak mind I think of this encounter as the time the Twelve Tribes tried to recruit my father. This was most probably not the case, but it’s an interesting story nonetheless.
I had forgotten that The Twelve Tribes had communities in Vermont and it was really interesting to read about the places mentioned in the text, almost all of which are within a few hours drive of where I live.
The ending felt abrupt and I wanted a bit more froM the author in terms of reflection on her life post-TT, but I also understand that she doesn’t owe anyone that and she’s honestly been through quite enough.
It was interesting to see how much the TT’s philosophies overlap with many other present-day high control/cult-like groups, including sects of Christian Fundamentalism.
The syntax was not my favorite and the sometimes-stilted writing style took me out of it a bit, but I do imagine some of that could be attributed to the author’s ongoing deconstruction from such a high control group that all but forbids any kind of individuality or unique voice.
June 13, 2024
Incredible journey. A story that was really necessary for me to read as I live right next to Rutland, Vermont.
June 6, 2024
Would you recognize a cult if you were in one?
I received this book as part of an early reviewer program.
This is a simple, no-nonsense book describing how a young family gets taken in by a cult without realizing the truth of their circumstance.
Looking for a simple life with like-minded people, this couple finds themselves moving into one of the Twelve Tribes communities. The book chronicles not only how they were taken in, but most of the book describes what the day-to-day life of a “TT” member was like. If you are looking for scandal, you won’t find it here. Indeed, the author has many fond memories of her 14 years with the TT. Various other family members also “join” over the years.
If you look up the Twelve Tribes, you will find many stories about child mistreatment. The organization expects members (mothers, specifically) to use a rod to regularly discipline their children. People who would normally not have treated their children roughly were counseled, sometimes in front of the whole community, if they allowed their child to “misbehave”. This misbehavior was normal child behavior most of the time.
The story helps the reader understand how people inside a cult are brainwashed into accepting new “revelations” that sometimes upended their lives. The chastisement adult members were subjected to was nearly as bad as what the children faced. The cycle of boredom and repetition meant they often lost track of time. Their days were extremely full, particularly for women. Imagine making a meal for 50 people with a baby in a carrier on your back and two children under the age of six in a kitchen with several other mothers and children. Kids were taught to chop vegetables before they could read. I cringed at the thought of all those children with knives; it is amazing they were at the hospital regularly. There were other questionable medical decisions made by the so-called leaders of each community in which the family lived.
Ultimately, this family left the Twelve Tribes and started over when their oldest child was 15 years old. They had to start over with nothing. I wish the book had another chapter or two explaining how they dealt with the new life changes.
The book was very interesting and I’m glad I read it. I was most surprised by how boring a cult can be. I appreciate the author sharing the story with the world and hope others read it before they go all in with any sketchy group.
I received this book as part of an early reviewer program.
This is a simple, no-nonsense book describing how a young family gets taken in by a cult without realizing the truth of their circumstance.
Looking for a simple life with like-minded people, this couple finds themselves moving into one of the Twelve Tribes communities. The book chronicles not only how they were taken in, but most of the book describes what the day-to-day life of a “TT” member was like. If you are looking for scandal, you won’t find it here. Indeed, the author has many fond memories of her 14 years with the TT. Various other family members also “join” over the years.
If you look up the Twelve Tribes, you will find many stories about child mistreatment. The organization expects members (mothers, specifically) to use a rod to regularly discipline their children. People who would normally not have treated their children roughly were counseled, sometimes in front of the whole community, if they allowed their child to “misbehave”. This misbehavior was normal child behavior most of the time.
The story helps the reader understand how people inside a cult are brainwashed into accepting new “revelations” that sometimes upended their lives. The chastisement adult members were subjected to was nearly as bad as what the children faced. The cycle of boredom and repetition meant they often lost track of time. Their days were extremely full, particularly for women. Imagine making a meal for 50 people with a baby in a carrier on your back and two children under the age of six in a kitchen with several other mothers and children. Kids were taught to chop vegetables before they could read. I cringed at the thought of all those children with knives; it is amazing they were at the hospital regularly. There were other questionable medical decisions made by the so-called leaders of each community in which the family lived.
Ultimately, this family left the Twelve Tribes and started over when their oldest child was 15 years old. They had to start over with nothing. I wish the book had another chapter or two explaining how they dealt with the new life changes.
The book was very interesting and I’m glad I read it. I was most surprised by how boring a cult can be. I appreciate the author sharing the story with the world and hope others read it before they go all in with any sketchy group.
July 14, 2024
This is a strong writing debut by Mathieu who spent 14 years as part of the Twelve Tribes from 2000 to 2014. Although all memoirs like this are the testimony of only one person (I started taking them with a huge grain of salt after reading my dad's), it's more balanced than some of the crazy stories out there, especially some of the Youtube videos. In addition, it's possible to check the group's teachings by finding their publications and reading them yourself; those alone are enough to give pause.
I'll be honest, I always check when people cry out the word "cult" because I've seen it applied to grouts that aren't, just merely not teaching the normal Christian theologies. She does make long enough quotes from their doctrinal literature to get an idea of what they are saying so it's not just a line or two pulled out of context. There are significant red flags with this group, so even though there are obviously women and families who are happy there and Mathieu didn't live in every community (she pointed out that she enjoyed one of them a great deal more then others), it's clear that there is enough fire underneath the smoke of stories about this group to make me steer clear.
If you'd like to know more about this group and what the red flags are, I highly recommend reading this book.
I'll be honest, I always check when people cry out the word "cult" because I've seen it applied to grouts that aren't, just merely not teaching the normal Christian theologies. She does make long enough quotes from their doctrinal literature to get an idea of what they are saying so it's not just a line or two pulled out of context. There are significant red flags with this group, so even though there are obviously women and families who are happy there and Mathieu didn't live in every community (she pointed out that she enjoyed one of them a great deal more then others), it's clear that there is enough fire underneath the smoke of stories about this group to make me steer clear.
If you'd like to know more about this group and what the red flags are, I highly recommend reading this book.
June 11, 2024
As someone who almost joined the Twelve Tribes myself, I found Tamara's story to be thoughtful and honest. Also, I found relief in the fact that I narrowly missed joining the group as a "lost" teenager. I was grateful to read Tamara's review of the life she earnestly crafted for herself and her family, and the difficulties she found in acclimating her own devotion to a lifestyle she believed in while at the same time encountering hypocrisy and unfounded judgement based on other members' interpretation of the tenets of the group. Brava, Tamara, for your courage in sharing your story so openly. And Brava for forging a road to a life for your family outside of the confines of the Tribes.
December 18, 2025
All Who Believed is a powerful, haunting memoir that pulls readers deep inside a closed religious community and the quiet courage it takes to escape it. Tamara Mathieu writes with raw honesty and emotional clarity, exposing the slow erosion of autonomy, the normalization of control, and the devastating cost of belief when faith is weaponized. Her story is both deeply personal and universally urgent, giving voice to those who couldn’t leave and strength to those who are trying. Unflinching, compassionate, and unforgettable, this is essential reading for anyone drawn to memoirs about resilience, truth, and reclaiming one’s life.
October 25, 2024
I appreciate the honest account although I suspect she may have been a little more positive about the goings on than actual reality, probably out of respect to those still there who share still cares about. I only say that because of rumors heard through the years about the Yellow Deli people. But, I’m thankful for what Tamara shared and how it made her feel to live under that psychologically abusive rule.
August 18, 2025
A bit too close for comfort, honestly, since family members from Westmore warned us as youth not to go to Island Pond, and I currently live close enough to the Cambridge NY community that my town is mentioned in this book.
Hard to rate, since I really do think it's important to hear first-hand accounts and warn people. I went with 4 stars to start, docking a star for a distracting overuse of exclamation points.
Hard to rate, since I really do think it's important to hear first-hand accounts and warn people. I went with 4 stars to start, docking a star for a distracting overuse of exclamation points.
January 11, 2025
Excellent and detailed (at times, perhaps too much so) account of life and submission in the Twelve Tribes cult. They may seem like happy hippies, but they're culty, cruel control freaks. Glad Mattieu was able to come to her senses and get out, if not sad that it took her over a decade to do so. Four stars.
November 4, 2024
A cult-like community with an extremely patriarchal structure, spooky! Especially on election eve 🫠
July 8, 2025
I would actually give this book 4.25 stars. It is a little bit redundant at times. If you have ever been to the Yellow Deli, you will find this book fascinating.
August 25, 2025
So Interesting!
Very well written - felt like I was a fly on the wall-VERY MUCH ENJOYED!! HIGHLY RECCOMENDED-you will not be disappointed!!!
Very well written - felt like I was a fly on the wall-VERY MUCH ENJOYED!! HIGHLY RECCOMENDED-you will not be disappointed!!!
December 8, 2025
Class read. A really interesting perspective on life within a cult.
October 2, 2025
a great memoir
What a fascinating memoir about life inside a religious cult. Amazing to read the slow brainwashing and shame they sow among their followers
What a fascinating memoir about life inside a religious cult. Amazing to read the slow brainwashing and shame they sow among their followers
October 1, 2024
An Honest Story
One thing g I lo,e about this book is that is told by a woman who joined the cult as an adult.
One thing g I lo,e about this book is that is told by a woman who joined the cult as an adult.
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews