The Family I'm In

by Sharon G. Flake

The bestselling and award-winning author of The Skin I'm In and The Life I'm In returns with a novel that explores the complex relationships between Black boys and their fathers, and what it truly means to be a man.

Sharon Flake's groundbreaking novel, The Skin I'm In ushered in a new voice that lit up the YA landscape, ignited important conversations about self-perception and racial identity, and became a modern classic that has been passed down through generations. The Life I'm In came next, bringing the same unmistakable voices of the characters who opened the hearts and minds of kids throughout the world, asked hard questions, and plunged readers into the harsh realities many teen girls face. Now, The Family I'm In brings back the same riveting characters - but this time focuses on the important relationships between Black fathers and sons. John-John and Caleb, friends since childhood, have come face-to-face with the struggles and triumphs of becoming young men. They're up against a world where many Black boys face complicated generational expectations and fears of the future. They summon their inner strength to push beyond family illness, mental health issues, parents, teachers, and society - to reach, succeed, and to live with dignity, purpose, and promise.

Genres: Realistic Fiction, Young Adult, Family, Contemporary, Fiction, Coming Of Age, Friendship

288 pages, Hardcover

Published April 1, 2025

About the author

Sharon G. Flake is the author of five books, The Skin I'm In (1998), Money Hungry (2002), Begging for Change (2003), Who Am I Without Him? Short Stories About Boys and the Girls in Their Lives (2004), Bang! (Sept. 2005), and her latest novel The Broken Bike Boy and the Queen of 33rd Street (2007).

Her work is used in public and private schools around the nation, from elementary to high school, and is often required reading in colleges for students in education, child development, children's literature and English writing programs. Beyond that, her work is also a favorite among adults and adult book club readers.

Flake and her work have won numerous awards and recognitions including: Best Books for Young Adult Readers; Quick Pick for Reluctant Readers; the New York Public Library Top Ten Books for the Teen Age; 2005 featured author in the Ninth Book of Junior Authors & Illustrators; 2005 Capitol Choices; Noteworthy Books for Children; 2004 Chicago Public Library's Best of the Best Book; 2004 Texas Lone Star Award for Top Ten Books; 2002, 2004 Coretta Scott King Honor Award; Pennsylvania Council of the Arts Grant; 2004 Bank Street Best of the Year; 2004 Bulletin Blue Ribbon Book; 2004 CCBC Choices; Booklist Top Ten Fantasy Book; 2004 Booklist Top Ten Romance Novels for Youth; 2004 Booklist Editor's Choice Award; 2003 Detroit Free LIbrary Author of the Year; 1999 YWCA Racial Justice Award; 1999 Coretta Scott King-John Steptoe New Talent Award and more.

Flake's work appears on the Anti-Defamation League's website which stresses the use of children's literature to help educators address the problem of bullying in schools.

Flake was born in Philadelphia, PA, but has resided in Pittsburgh, PA with her daughter for many years. She is a graduate of the University of Pittsburgh with a BA in English. For several years she was a youth counselor for a foster care agency, after which she spent 18 years working at the University of Pittsburgh in public relations. She has written numerous articles for national publications. Prior to having her first book published, she wrote for approximately 15 years.

Reviews

[Tashay · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you Scholastic Press for the advanced reader copy!

The Skin I’m In played such a major part in my childhood. Maleeka lived within from the moment I picked that book up in the 5th grade.

I love how Flake’s writing took me right back to that moment. But this one is for the boys. The boys with complex relationship with their fathers. The boys who just don’t quite fit in. The boys who rather read than throw a football. The nice boys. Our Black boys finding their place in a world that’s so unkind to them.

Caleb and John-John had completely different struggles with coming into their own within their families and societies. And I enjoyed the ride the book took us on with them. The fighting like strangers on the streets & then right back to being brothers 😭

My favorite thing about Sharon G. Flake’s writing is always just how real it is. And this one was real.

[Denise LaRosa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Flake is the blueprint—the pioneer of Black middle grade and YA literature. Her stories paved the way for so many others, and The Family I’m In proves why she’s still that girl.
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In this powerful follow-up, readers are reunited with unforgettable characters from The Skin I’m In and The Life I’m In. It’s deeply character-driven—centering John-John and Caleb as they navigate the emotional rollercoaster of family, friendships, and finding your place in a world that doesn’t always make sense.
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Through the lens of a Black teenage boy, Flake explores the raw and real complexities of coming of age—showing us that healing, hope, and growth are never out of reach.
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This book is honest, heartfelt, and necessary. If you loved her earlier works, you’ll be grateful to return to this world.
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Sharon G. Flake is the moment. Period.

[Veronika]

Omg! Did not know she was writing a third book in the series! While the second book was a bit odd and somewhat all over the place, this one might just win me back lol.

[Penn Hackney · Rating 4 out of 5]

2025. Borrowed 9/30/25 on recommendation of Tahirah Walker at Ralph Bangs’ class on educational authoritarianism. And after enjoying Unstoppable Octobia May, The Skin I’m In, and Money Hungry in my earliest retirement (2018-2019).

Great family descriptions and dynamics. E.g., “Caleb’s mother doesn’t make enough at the hospital to cover all the bills,” while JJ’s mom works as a secretary in a nonprofit, and JJ’s father “pays good money … in cash … Everybody knows it.”

So immediate and relatable, it’s visceral. And the narrator: not looking back from a vantage of maturity and experience, but he’s RIGHT THERE. And so are we.

John John is a great kid, smart, likes reading, compassionate, handsome, good at archery, a good dancer, loyal, curious, generous. He’s got a chunk of low self esteem (better than the self-hatred of The Skin I’m In) and a habit of slamming doors to express his feelings, but still a great kid. A bit of a braggart, but he’s not cool - lost fights, not good at sports, no girlfriend, etc.

On his English teacher: “The last day, I got what he was doing. Not imitating nobody else. Being hisself, no matter what. Dad wants me to be different from who I am.” Ch. 39 p. 119. JJ learns to be himself without (or either less) fear. For better or (sometimes) worse.

No tidy endings, just growth and learning, self esteem, being oneself, being a brother to Giovanni,

Concern for the neighborhood, cf. the White neighborhood

self-esteem, self-confidence, self-absorbed, self-hatred,

CHARACTERS:
John-John McIntyre
Big John McIntyre
Mom
Caleb Jamaal Assam

Maleeka Madison (The Skin I’m In)
Ashley
Ashley’s mom
Charlese Jones (The Life I’m In)
Miss Michael Saunders


The author at Pittsburgh Arts and Lectures, October 9, 2025: fathers and their children is a major theme through all my books. Check out Once in a Blue Moon (2023) and The Life I’m In (2021), both bought for my Kindle.

Not perfect men but men who are present. Not men of means but men who made a way out of no way and took care of their families as best they could. Men from the inner cities who never received much recognition, who go unseen, and who are pigeonholed for not being a success, sometimes absent, sometimes a bad example.

Big John’s knee and back is my way of showing the kind of weight he’s under, that crushing him, that he can’t talk about. And as much of a pita as he is to JJ, JJ is also a burden to Big John. He wants to live another life through his son. He doesn’t realize how much of a burden that puts in JJ.

The relationship between men and boys, where the boys are vulnerable and cannot express what’s in their mind and un their sounds. Boy goofy over a girl he’s not able to get, learning that’s not problematic but ok.

Boys will read if they’re given the right books.

[Sarah Ressler Wright · Rating 5 out of 5]

An exploration of teen boys and their fathers. Readers come to realize boys and fathers are tough on each other and themselves. I appreciated the short chapters and nuances of what each teen wanted and their problems-big and small.

[Lesley · Rating 4 out of 5]

“I keep practicing, pretending it’s my father I’m taking down. Mom says to be respectful, because he loves me. But love ain’t just buying sneakers and paying child support. It’s…I don’t know…letting your kid be who they say they are, not just who you want ‘em to be. Yeah, that’s it.” (4)

According to the definition in Brittanica.com, a FAMILY is “a group of persons united by the ties of marriage, blood, or adoption, constituting a single household and interacting with each other in their respective social positions, usually those of spouses, parents, children, and siblings.” However, families and family relationships are evolving and have become even more complicated and difficult to define, and “traditional families” are the minority in many places.

In Sharon Flake’s newest novel, readers re-meet John-John, Caleb, Meleeka, and Char, now in high school. As do many teens today, John-John has a complicated family. He lives with his divorced mother; he visits each week with his re-married father whose new wife doesn’t—at least in JJ’s mind—want him to visit their house but then his little stepbrother says they are brothers and wants to spend time with him, and a new half-sister is on the way. His family also consists of best-friend Caleb and his medically-compromised father JJ helps care for.

As Caleb deals with his family’s major money problems, John-John becomes obsessed with getting a girlfriend, Ashley, whose mother won’t let her even be friends with boys in that neighborhood. And he has ambivalent feelings for Caleb’s girlfriend Maleeka whom he bullied in middle school. On top of it all, his father pressures him to have multiple girlfriends as supposedly Big John did in high school. “Every time I’m with my dad, he brings up girls, dating, that kind of stuff. I lie to him a lot, because how can you tell your father you never been on a date or been kissed? You can’t You don’t. Not if you’re Big John’s son.” (5)

This is the story of pressures, family and otherwise. It is the story of a boy who feels he can’t measure up but still wants to be his own person—archery not sports, one girlfriend, not many. It is the story of a boy who is sometimes a good friend and sometimes not but has learned from past mistakes. It also is a story that illustrates that everyone, i.e., Big John, is not who they say they are. “Only other boys like me who keep losing would know how I feel.” (247-248)

This is the tale of a Black father and son but many readers will see at least part of their lives—family, friends, teachers, bosses, relationships, school, economics—reflected.

[Barbara · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you read and liked the author's previous books, The Skin I'm In and The Life I'm In, you'll definitely want to read this one, her latest. While Char and Maleeka, characters from those previous books, appear in this one, its focus is two boys, high school friends John-John and Caleb, two nerds who are good boys, usually following the rules and doing what they're supposed to do. But as John-John struggles with the expectations his father places on him and his desire to find a girlfriend and Caleb spends the summer working so many jobs that he goes through life half asleep, tensions rise, and both boys react in explosive ways. More than once, John wonders if good boys like them ever win or come out on top. It's a very good question, one I've heard raised by some of my Black male students in the past. Another reviewer declared that this book is REAL, and I couldn't find a better word for the writing of Sharon G. Flake. Here, and in her other books, she has created characters that are complex, reflective, and relatable. I hated to see the book come to an end, but I also rejoiced at the growth in John-John. This one will make many readers feel seen as well as offering some hope that things do get better even when they don't get what they want or think they want. Simply delightful!

[Mrs. Kenyon · Rating 4 out of 5]

John-John has had trouble relating to his father, who he never seems to measure up to. It is the end of his junior year, and everyone wants to know who he will take to the prom and where he will work this summer. If it was up to his dad, John-John would work for him and have lots of girls in his life. That is NOT what he wants, though. His friend, Caleb, struggles to make money to help his family after his father cannot work. These teens may be dealing with issues on opposite ends of the spectrum, but they both must learn to cope with the expectations of those in their lives.

The Family I’m In is the third book in The Skin I’m In series. Although it does include characters from the first two books, this is more of a shared universe series than a direct continuation of the story. Events from the first two books are mentioned, but this story could be read as a stand-alone novel. The characters deal with hard issues (family illness, mental health, and hybrid families just to name a few) and Flake covered these issues fairly without watering them down. The Family I’m In would be great for all readers, teens and adults alike.

[Alicia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Part of a long-running series, Flake revisits the world from The Skin I'm In and The Life I'm In with now, The Family I'm in centering John-John and Caleb- two Black boys that have differing relationships with their fathers. John-John specifically is a quiet, unassuming kid that's bookish and sporty and isn't lining up girls to date. He's reluctant and shy. This is a stark contrast to his father so they have to figure out how to relate to one another, in the same way John-John's friend Caleb is in a different experience with his father and must do the same.

It's a quieter story and I was disjointed reading it. I think I was distracted by subtext or looking for more? I'm a little indifferent at the moment about my overall feeling, is it one that I'll think about more and it'll grow on my more? I could be looking for internal dialogue that isn't quite quite there the way it melded in Darius the Great Is Not Okay.

[Carolyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great follow-up to the "Skin I'm In" series, and it was very satisfying to revisit the characters of Maleeka and Char again. I think readers will be able to jump into book 3 without any trouble. I read Book 1, but haven't read the second book in the series. I had to recall where Char was when I left off, then pick up the conversations that explained the ways she has changed. Nevertheless, I was happy to see the redemption arc of so many characters.

The fact that families can look so different or have their own unique troubles is not a new theme in literature, but the families that are portrayed in a rough neighborhood who have to make difficult decisions will resonate with readers.

Readers will feel seen with the school rivalries, family complications, lack of resources in schools, and rough neighborhoods. They will also find hope and encouragement in the resilience of John and his friends. I was so happy to see John's story, and will recommend this to students in schools and at the library.

[Amber Cherisse · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read the first book in this series 20+ years ago and it stuck with me all these years. I was delighted to find out there were more books in the series.

I’m happy the author humanizes and redeemed characters who most people had come to dislike because of how they were portrayed in the first book. The true meaning of hurt people hurt people.

So many themes were touched upon with black son-father relationships, grief, parentification and mental health being major ones throughout the book. I’m happy characters from previous books were still friends and able to build healthier relationships with one another. It’s refreshing to hear this story from a male POV which doesn’t get as much attention as it deserves. Definitely would recommend the whole series to all.

Also, I appreciate all the books being uniquely their own stories within the universe the author has created.

[Robin · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed Sharon G. Flake's books The Skin I'm In and The Life I'm In and was excited to continue this series by reading her newest book The Family I'm In. While the first two books in the series were quick, powerful reads, this one was very slow going for me. This is a young adult novel about 2 Black teens who are best friends. John and Caleb are both great kids, trying to do well in school, follow the rules, and become successful young men despite what many of their peers are doing. I liked both characters, but the main character, John, seemed so whiny to me. He constantly referenced how his dad divorced his mom, but his dad was still very much involved in his life. Yes, his dad wanted John to be a bolder and more outgoing person than he naturally was, but it was the focus of the book which got old after a bit. The other character, Caleb, had much bigger things to be concerned with. His dad suffered a stroke, and Caleb had to work several jobs to help provide for his family. While both of the boys' situations were realistic, I found Caleb's issues to be far more pressing than John's and wished the story had focused more on him.

Thanks to Scholastic Press and NetGalley for a review copy of The Family I'm In.

[Deena Lipomi · Rating 4 out of 5]

John John's main focuses are archery, getting a girlfriend, and living up to his dad's expectations. But when he learns his best friend Caleb might lose his house, some of his perspectives and relationships begin to change. This third book in The Skin I'm In trilogy is the first to have a guy's POV and it captures the previous characters well. The father-son relationships are satisfying to watch grow and change, and the struggles of "the working poor" on the verge of homelessness due to medical costs are all too real. John's voice is strong, the dialog is realistic, and the story is solid. A great realistic YA.

[Stories and S'mores · Rating 4 out of 5]

JJ and Caleb are very complicated characters living complicated lives. Sharon G. Flake captures this in such a magnificent way that focuses on the journey of self-discovery without shying away from hardship.

Flake also excels at worldbuilding and character development, making it easier for readers to immerse themselves in the story. The first-person perspective truly adds a personal touch, as though JJ is talking to the reader as he would anyone else.

Sharon G. Flake writes with such regard for her readers of color—her black readers especially—and with the intention to uplift minority voices. The Family I'm In is a powerful story about flawed families and overcoming adversity.

[Connie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is more of a 3.5 stars. For me, this didn't have the same emotional pull as her other two books in the series, and the ending felt so abrupt that I was shocked when that was all there was. I appreciate that this has a boy main character and we get to hear John's story, but it didn't seem to stand out from any of the other African American teen male protagonist books out there. Still, it was a good read and will be recommended to my students.

[Libriar · Rating 4 out of 5]

Flake revisits the characters in "The Skin I'm In." They are now in high school, and the book centers around John-John. This book redeems him as a character and shows that people can grow and change. The focus on male friendship and father-son relationships in this book is excellent. Fans of the other two books in this series will be drawn to this, but as a stand-alone book, it was just okay. ARC courtesy of the publisher and NetGalley.

[Naomie Pierre · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

This book was entertaining but didn't seem very deep, just a lot of talk about dating girls and fights between family with the characters and such. There were some moments it tried to be deeper but it didn't really succed. Also it took a dramatic turn at the end with fighting between Caleb and John lmaooo.

[Lauren Morris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sharon G. Flake does it again! This was a good read. I loved the story and perspective of Black boys. It was different from the previous 2 books in the series. I love that it really showed the boys’ emotions and thoughts. Great read.

[Dr. Julie Wasmund Hoffman · Rating 4 out of 5]

John-John, a supporting character in The Skin I'm In gets his own novel! You will see Maleeka, Char, and even Miss Saunders!

[Imogen Campbell · Rating 4 out of 5]

I LOVE Sharon and I love her books. Deeply heartfelt and deeply necessary.

[Raven 🖤 · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was really nice to see John, Maleeka, Char and Caleb again!

[Hannah Wright · Rating 2 out of 5]

Had to read this for class. The main character was too whiny and immature for me, but then again he was a 16/17 year old boy.

[David Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book.

This is the first book I have read by Flake and I highly recommend it. It shows the complex and often tense relationships that teenage boys have with their dads. More importantly, it shows the various forms of honest and non-toxic masculinity.

I really like the diary style breaking up of the text. The shorter chapters allow for a more approachable read. But unlike a diary, the writing style is not just one-sided but gives a depth to the other characters in the book as well.

As a father to a teenage boy, there are many places where the dialogue is almost verbatim what has been said between us, right down to the "let me figure things out for myself..."