The Love That Dares: An Anthology of Queer Love Letters

by Rachel Smith, Rachel Smith

Genres: Queer, Nonfiction, LGBT, Poetry, Romance

288 pages, Paperback

Published December 17, 2024

About the author

Librarian's note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name. This profile contains books from multiple authors of this name.

Reviews

[marisa :) · Rating 4 out of 5]

this was so beautiful and such a gorgeous reminder of how queerness is and will always be a part of life !

[Andrew H · Rating 1 out of 5]

This anthology has its moments, but the best letters are available on the net! I learnt one fact from these letters: women are far better writers than men! The male-to-male letters in this collection are invariably soppy, crude, or bitchy. Irritatingly, the letters are interspersed with moments of gay history that have nothing to do with letters. And worst of all, the letters are set within such thin contexts that they do not make historical or biographical sense. Overall, in spite of wondrous blurbing, one of the dullest books I have read.

[Thomas B · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve been eyeballing this at the bookstore for a while, now, and finally I picked it up. I like writing letters. I have a red Mead notebook that I take out sometimes to write letters like this, to get things out. It is a special kind of writing. Unvarnished and yet, when pure, truer than any high-polished thing.

This edition is 221 pages and is a quick read, full of lovely little letters. I appreciate that the editors (R Smith and B Vesey) have by-and-large retained the spelling and grammar of the original authors. They give the letters a real sense of texture. There is a letter here that is so sentimental that the author writes a second line hoping that the reader doesn’t think his writing is faint on purpose, clarifying that he blotted the page too quickly, and so he thus writes, “ All my love now and forever. ” I adore that. It’s something I’d feel sensitive about, something I’d clarify.

I’m so glad to be reading these and to know the feelings and the tortures and the possibilities, someday, of a deep love between two people. Specifically, queer people. I’m glad this book exists.

There are a few boxed asides throughout, meant to be smaller featurettes, I suppose. Some of these were quite interesting, other times I wish I could trade them for full letters. They sometimes felt a little out of place, though the trivia was nice.

I’m noting some of my favorite passages / quotes below. This is quite a small subset of those that I highlighted.

> p13 - “He has taught me how much I loved thee: truly that man has no knowledge of good or evil who does not experience both.” (St. Anselm)

> p53 - “About your speaking voice, it is profoundly true that voices mean more to me than anything almost, and your voice is… you. Well, sometimes when we are apart, I try to hear it and can’t. Anyone else’s, yes, but not yours. … I suppose it’s that sort of thing about your voice; I long too violently to hear it.” (Dame Ethel Mary Smyth)

> p85-90, the Radclyffe/John Hall letter is quite beautiful and raw.

> John Cage’s letters are a real treat. Don’t spare us the lust, love.
> “Starved for a good long fuck with you.” (p137)
> “today is beuatiful and I am dreaming of you and enigma” [John’s nickname for Merce’s penis] (pg138)
> “…there is apparently a part in the [songbook?] where you would go through a tunnel of love and everyone thinks you would do it very well: so do i, please go through mine, taking your time, if you will.” (TB: ha!; pg 139)
> “need you deliciously” on a line by itself, next paragraph: “gas bill came but is nothing; do not worry about it.” (pg 141; TB: I love this. I love the care and the lust in Cage’s letters side by side the mundane stuff)

>p161 - “Write me soon baby, I’ll write you big long poem I feel as if you were god that I pray to -” (Allen Ginsberg)

>p176 - “I’m still crazy about you even though your corny, greying wrinkling and fart like thunder.” (John Dalby & John Thompson)

>p220 - “I know that fear has reached places inside of us that love has yet to catch up to…” (Ivan Nuru, a poem dated November 2021 to his father, it is really quite beautiful).

[natasha · Rating 3 out of 5]

(3.5) my personal highlights:

“I think of your hair, your eyes, your hands, your body — I remember — I love you.”

“need you deliciously.
gas bill came but is nothing; do not worry about it.”

“send me some little twig or a hair from near enigma or a piece of grass that you touched and sunbathed with, mon prince.”

“Goodnight, my darling boy —
I kiss you
P.”

“Meantime — I live for Friday, & you. My man — my beloved man.”

“Sleep well, I shall think of you all the time.”

“Love! Love! Love.
P. xxxooo etc.”

[Henry Hicks · Rating 4 out of 5]

“But let me, just for once, say this. The reasons for which I love you are unshakable; here are some of them; your truth, your fire, your intensity, your power of sustained effort, your extraordinary grip over other souls, your intellect, and above all, in the words of a prayer I like, your ‘unconquerable heart.’ And playing on it all is the recollection of that firm hand in mine…”

[Caitlin Holloway · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really lovely marker of the history of queer love, with some really big names in history and literature threaded through, some even that I didn’t know were queer. Such a lovely example of non-fiction.

[Liv · Rating 4 out of 5]

"I've never been more honest. I think I let myself be loved that night - I'm glad it was with you."

I love love <333

[Jo · Rating 4 out of 5]

A delightful and (much too) quick read. I stumbled upon it while looking for something entirely different in a bookshop, and while it wasn't cheap, it was worth every cent.

On the downside, it annoyed me how sloppily this book was edited. It felt as if the editors rushed through the process of putting this anthology together. The biographical texts are much too short, contextualisation is sorely missed.
And knowing what a brilliant (letter) writer Allen Ginsberg was, I was very disappointed with the editors' choice of his letters to Peter Orlovsky. Not more than 15 lines - seriously?

The detailed references and resources section makes up for the fact (well, at least to some degree) that this book could have been more well-rounded. Lots of hints on where to dig deeper.

[Anjara Mellman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautiful! All of my friends are getting postcards while I’m abroad if I can figure out the mail system but I love letter writing it’s one of the most intimate ways of showing love

[Roushda Khan · Rating 4 out of 5]

It always takes me by surprise how love is felt the same by people regardless of geographical location, time period, gender, religion, culture, or anything that might set us apart from someone else. Maybe it’s because when you’re in love, it feels surreal and impossible to replicate. Love is truly universal, and true love always has a spiritual, transcendental quality.

The Love That Dares is a short lesson in queer history through the candid words of notable LGBTQ+ figures. It features little bits of context preceding each letter. What’s fascinating about this book is how it reveals the profound weight a single letter can carry. It is a unique medium, the only one that can convey the depth of one’s feelings without pretension or a blasé detachment so often seen in other forms of expression. It is true to the individuals, making it the most sacred form of communication— deeply personal and second only to making love in its ability to deepen the intimacy between lovers.

I was fascinated by the range of letter writers and amazed to see some unexpected names (eg. Eleanor Roosevelt!) featured in this book, and by how modern their thinking was despite living in societies that did not necessarily allow it. It also got me thinking about the freedom to love, or at least live with, a same-sex partner, being directly correlated with the proximity to wealth or social standing, but I digress. Overall, this was an interesting read that could’ve used better organization, cultural diversity, and more information about the lovers to magnify the letters’ emotional impact.

[Dani Kass · Rating 2 out of 5]

it just kinda feels like “gay people existed! here’s proof!” and using the parts of letters that confirm that. i was hoping to get more caught up in individual romances and correspondences and have more of a story. a back and forth. this feels like a museum: here’s the explainer and here’s the letter. next.

many letters required multiple reads because they just didn’t make sense. you need more from the people to make their letters mean anything.

this could have been great, but it really disappointed.

2.5/5

[Ray Heller · Rating 5 out of 5]

How do you rate a book of personal letters, not meant for public eyes? It’s not a question of narrative composition, grammar, prose, or any other literacy component. I will say the structure of the book made for an easy read—mostly chronological, enough context that I had a vision of the authors without drowning in biography. This book makes me feel as though I’ve traveled through time, lived in other people’s shoes. They mentioned Camden and Princeton from over a century ago. They yearn in ways we still do today. What else is there to say? I’m glad this book preserves queer history. I’m glad to have read it.

[Jason Hood · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautiful collection of letters between the shared loves, though not always shared lives, of LGBT folks from mid-600 BC to 2021 AD. The lingering language of many of these letters made me long for the days when so much was expressed in the page. As I read letter after letter, even the occasional poem, as a lover of words, part of me grieved for all that’s been lost to texts, emojis, emails and post-its. When communication was limited and delayed, the most was made of it. When letters and feelings had to be coded and hidden behind pet names - even ascribed a different gender - or reduced to just an initials, every confession and profession of love carried a different kind of weight.

[lindsey blaser · Rating 5 out of 5]

so special it hurt; i felt like fleabag at the train station, looking around to an invisible audience who witnessed what i just witnessed. now sitting in my car crying before therapy. i just loved this and i love love letters and i love being gay!

[Lauren McDermott · Rating 4 out of 5]

this is the fastest i’ve finished a book in a while. anyway, it was so beautiful, all these gays and their love letters. and some of them weren’t love letters but they all speak to some aspect of queer life and love. also a lot of these gays are messyyyyy.

[peighton ⋆˖° · Rating 4 out of 5]

“we are here and have always been here with the same current of desires, thwarted loves, pain and pleasure resonating throughout” 🥲☹️🫶🏻

[Salem · Rating 5 out of 5]

How very beautiful 🥹🥹 what a touching exploration, excellently complied

[Clare Krajewski · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Dear Sappho letters definitely healed something in my soul.

[hilda &#x1f34e;&#x1f41b;]

AHHHHH

[ro · Rating 4 out of 5]

i will admit i did start crying multiple times, sometimes it’s easy to forget how beautiful our love is

[Anika Vyas · Rating 4 out of 5]

so lovely to read, wish there were more letters written by women - there were quite a few

[Virgile Talma · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's too easy to focus on the pain and suffering of queer people, especially nowadays.
This book is a sweet, sometimes bittersweet, reminder of the joys of being queer, of the voices that cared and loved in the past.
And now, I want to visit the Bishopsgate Institute!