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Bloody Minded: War, womanhood and finding my voice
A powerful memoir on womanhood by RNZ presenter Susie Ferguson
Early in her radio career Susie Ferguson became a war correspondent. The only woman among hundreds of soldiers, in camo and a flak jacket she was one of the boys. None of them knew she was taking 15 painkillers a day, reliant on opioids to stem the burning and stabbing pain in her uterus.
Even bloody-minded grit couldn't have prepared Susie for womanhood. More than her body's betrayal, it's the vicious bullying only girls can do. It's waiting years for surgery because your pain doesn't matter. It's the threat of violence in countries where a woman is either property or the spoils of war. It's going overnight from a high-powered career to a stay-at-home mum. It's the doctor who says you're wasting his time. But it is also friendship, love, having the grit to carry on - and to do it smiling.
A breathtaking memoir on tenacity and self-belief, sharing her story of endometriosis, miscarriage, childbirth, and menopause, Susie shines a light on a health system that isn't made for us, and the importance of being loud with our truths.
Early in her radio career Susie Ferguson became a war correspondent. The only woman among hundreds of soldiers, in camo and a flak jacket she was one of the boys. None of them knew she was taking 15 painkillers a day, reliant on opioids to stem the burning and stabbing pain in her uterus.
Even bloody-minded grit couldn't have prepared Susie for womanhood. More than her body's betrayal, it's the vicious bullying only girls can do. It's waiting years for surgery because your pain doesn't matter. It's the threat of violence in countries where a woman is either property or the spoils of war. It's going overnight from a high-powered career to a stay-at-home mum. It's the doctor who says you're wasting his time. But it is also friendship, love, having the grit to carry on - and to do it smiling.
A breathtaking memoir on tenacity and self-belief, sharing her story of endometriosis, miscarriage, childbirth, and menopause, Susie shines a light on a health system that isn't made for us, and the importance of being loud with our truths.
333 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 2, 2024
7 people are currently reading
100 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
March 16, 2025
I miss Susie on Morning Report (not that I have time to listen to it these days) - she’s clearly a legend.
January 2, 2025
This is worth a read especially if you suffer from endometriosis or know someone who does. Her life story was fascinating but this part was more relatable for me. Such an important topic to share.
November 30, 2024
Brilliant! Susie has lived a full life and tells her story well, with humour and honesty. I didn't know much about her beforehand, but it was still a compelling and relatable read.
Her time as a war journalist was fascinating to read about, but the part that will stick with me was her struggles with the medical system. Unfortunately this is something far too many women face. Thank you for shining a light on this issue and sharing your story!
Her time as a war journalist was fascinating to read about, but the part that will stick with me was her struggles with the medical system. Unfortunately this is something far too many women face. Thank you for shining a light on this issue and sharing your story!
July 14, 2025
A badass read. Susie Ferguson's story is powerful, raw, and deeply compelling. I'd read a whole sequel just on her wartime adventures alone. It's a striking tale of womanhood, resilience, and surviving in a world not built for you. Heartbreaking at times—because it had to be such a journey—but essential reading. Especially for men, who could gain real insight into the challenges women still face.
November 14, 2025
Susie's time as a war correspondent seems to have been pre-ordained: as a child, she was "mesmerised" by war and disaster on TV. She had a comfortable start to life in Edinburgh (her father was a doctor) and a New Zealand connection, with her Granny born here. This led to her growing up eating melting moments, unheard of in Scotland. School was a mixed bad - there's an anecodte about how truly bad at maths she was, how awful the teacher was, and yet the same teacher was great to her in history: balance reporting! Sadly, as puberty struck, her body was not very co-operative: what started out as extreme period pain was later discovered to be endometriosis and took 25 years to finally be sorted.
Her school life was terrible - she struggled with Virginia Woolf, until "one day it all cracked open", she wrote a paper so good her teacher had it read to class but that led to bullying by her classmates so bad she bombs out on all her exams. While the school had vowed it was taking her complaints very seriously, the bullies were ultimately protected (she was told she could hit them!) because their grades would enhance the school's reputation. But by the time she writes the book, Susie says this was the best thing that ever happened to her, as it set her on a path to theatre studies and broadcasting. She has a triump at the Edinburgh Fringe and won't let hospitalisation stop her performing her show at the London Central School of Sppech and Drama.
Teaching at Eton as part of her course, she has to tell one boy off because he's been a dick: it's only Prince William. Back in London, she's out with a mate when she sees a bloke and knows immediately "that's him" - her first and only love. Even funner, he's the very bloke her friend wanted to set her up with. After just two dates, they were long-distance: she has a job reading the news in Edinburgh (ten minutes after arriving at the station!). This developed into a national newsreader role and then the British Forces Broadcasting Services and being embedded at the front in Iraq.
The six weeks she spends here are dealt with in a handful of pages - perhaps because she has trouble talking about them. She does mention the difficulties in maintaining privacy in this very male environment and finishes by saying the "surreal is made mundane", with a list of examples - such as the tanks pulling down Saddam Hussein statues. Her attitude is to say yes to everything - even if she's asked if she can ride a horse, "the answer might actually be no on that particular day" but she can learn.
In civillian life, she has trouble re-adjusting (the "world's volume is turn down too low"), and goes to a sequence of war and disaster zones (Susie is taken by the beauty of Kabul, despite the decades of war). The news room motto was "it lookes horrendous - we must go there"! I think 2006 marks the end of this part of her life: after much carelessness on the part of the medical profession, she finally gets an operation to deal to her endo, comes to New Zealand on holiday and immediately feels at home here. Her first baby is born in the UK, and again the medical profession is awful to her - so many attacks on how she's not feeding the baby properly, even though things are rather out of her control.
Once here, Susie was a fill in presenter on a couple of shows on RNZ, then co hosted Morning Report for 8 years. She recounts one episode I still remember vividly: the night of the Kaikoura earthquake, which shook up the Wellington studio. Vicki McKay was doing the overnight show and held things together wonderfully, but I'm sure she felt a lot better when Susie came in early to join her.
I'd say the part of the book I liked most was through to her starting her broadcasting career - there are great stories. After that, the momentum picks up.
Her school life was terrible - she struggled with Virginia Woolf, until "one day it all cracked open", she wrote a paper so good her teacher had it read to class but that led to bullying by her classmates so bad she bombs out on all her exams. While the school had vowed it was taking her complaints very seriously, the bullies were ultimately protected (she was told she could hit them!) because their grades would enhance the school's reputation. But by the time she writes the book, Susie says this was the best thing that ever happened to her, as it set her on a path to theatre studies and broadcasting. She has a triump at the Edinburgh Fringe and won't let hospitalisation stop her performing her show at the London Central School of Sppech and Drama.
Teaching at Eton as part of her course, she has to tell one boy off because he's been a dick: it's only Prince William. Back in London, she's out with a mate when she sees a bloke and knows immediately "that's him" - her first and only love. Even funner, he's the very bloke her friend wanted to set her up with. After just two dates, they were long-distance: she has a job reading the news in Edinburgh (ten minutes after arriving at the station!). This developed into a national newsreader role and then the British Forces Broadcasting Services and being embedded at the front in Iraq.
The six weeks she spends here are dealt with in a handful of pages - perhaps because she has trouble talking about them. She does mention the difficulties in maintaining privacy in this very male environment and finishes by saying the "surreal is made mundane", with a list of examples - such as the tanks pulling down Saddam Hussein statues. Her attitude is to say yes to everything - even if she's asked if she can ride a horse, "the answer might actually be no on that particular day" but she can learn.
In civillian life, she has trouble re-adjusting (the "world's volume is turn down too low"), and goes to a sequence of war and disaster zones (Susie is taken by the beauty of Kabul, despite the decades of war). The news room motto was "it lookes horrendous - we must go there"! I think 2006 marks the end of this part of her life: after much carelessness on the part of the medical profession, she finally gets an operation to deal to her endo, comes to New Zealand on holiday and immediately feels at home here. Her first baby is born in the UK, and again the medical profession is awful to her - so many attacks on how she's not feeding the baby properly, even though things are rather out of her control.
Once here, Susie was a fill in presenter on a couple of shows on RNZ, then co hosted Morning Report for 8 years. She recounts one episode I still remember vividly: the night of the Kaikoura earthquake, which shook up the Wellington studio. Vicki McKay was doing the overnight show and held things together wonderfully, but I'm sure she felt a lot better when Susie came in early to join her.
I'd say the part of the book I liked most was through to her starting her broadcasting career - there are great stories. After that, the momentum picks up.
August 29, 2025
Great memoir of journalist Susie Ferguson.Birn in Scotland and struggled at first to decide on a career. Studied Acting and directing and suddenly an opportunity to become a radio journalist presented and she embraced it. Despite serious heath problems either ignored or delyes diagnosis and treatment by the NHS for 4 years. once when shecwascexamined by a Kiwi nurse and told it was 3rd world.
ev3ntually she got the operation she needed, a growth on her Ovaries and tgen cutting out her Endometriosis. She was a war correspondent in Iraq and Afganistan. She covered Earthqakes and Tsuamies Floods. Holiday in NZ, the birth place of her grandmother, made her and tgen boyfriensvd3cude to make Nz her home in the future.
After the traumatic birth of her son she and Husband Lee moved to North of Wellington.
Her account of the birth of her s3cond child a girl was a far cry from tge birth if her son. looked after by a midwifes Annie.
Not all plain sailing with the medical profession in NZ always but better 5hwn in England.
The Christchurh and Kaikoura earthquakes added some challenges to her life here.
The morning programme on Radio NZ took is toll. I wondered at what must have been the love and patience of her family through it all. She is careful not to include in the book personal details of her home life. Still wonder how she is able to exchange her once exiting life as a war correspondent but I guess she has lived through experiences most of us could nit even .imagine
suanisv
ev3ntually she got the operation she needed, a growth on her Ovaries and tgen cutting out her Endometriosis. She was a war correspondent in Iraq and Afganistan. She covered Earthqakes and Tsuamies Floods. Holiday in NZ, the birth place of her grandmother, made her and tgen boyfriensvd3cude to make Nz her home in the future.
After the traumatic birth of her son she and Husband Lee moved to North of Wellington.
Her account of the birth of her s3cond child a girl was a far cry from tge birth if her son. looked after by a midwifes Annie.
Not all plain sailing with the medical profession in NZ always but better 5hwn in England.
The Christchurh and Kaikoura earthquakes added some challenges to her life here.
The morning programme on Radio NZ took is toll. I wondered at what must have been the love and patience of her family through it all. She is careful not to include in the book personal details of her home life. Still wonder how she is able to exchange her once exiting life as a war correspondent but I guess she has lived through experiences most of us could nit even .imagine
suanisv
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 7, 2024
Ferguson presents a powerful memoir that women can readily identify with. She has endured a life time of pain combating endometriosis, along with hospital systems that devalue and dehumanise women's lived experience. Her work in challenging environments is inspirational and her drive to hold her corner well in the world is deeply admired.
February 4, 2025
Follows RNZ (Radio New Zealand)presenter, Susie Ferguson from her teens in UK, through school, drama school and as a war correspondent, all the time fighting crippling endometriosis, miscarriage and then early menopause. Forthright and shocking.
February 22, 2025
Brilliant book - inspiring how she overcome & excelled after basically failing highschool. Absolutely appalling how multiple medical professionals dismissed and belittled her chronic pain & other associated ailments - a shocking insight to woman’s health.
December 4, 2025
A riveting and engaging memoir. Susie is an honest narrator and it must have taken a lot of courage to reveal the challenging health episodes she has experienced. I thoroughly enjoyed the stories of her time as a war correspondent, and her open writing style.
October 17, 2024
An amazing story lived by an amazing woman. But I am stunned that she had so many terrible experiences in the health system in the UK and New Zealand. Surely this is not the norm.
October 19, 2024
I read this super quickly. It was well written and she seems smart and cool.
January 5, 2025
Really enjoyed this book. Interesting life she has led.
January 25, 2025
4.5 stars
An engaging memoir that tells a strikingly personal and moving story. I found this book hard to put down at various points, and Ferguson writes in a witty and humorous way.
An engaging memoir that tells a strikingly personal and moving story. I found this book hard to put down at various points, and Ferguson writes in a witty and humorous way.
April 25, 2025
Light reading, good connection with her life in NZ
May 2, 2025
very well written and interesting autobiography. I really enjoy3d reading what she had achieved in her life and in particular who work as a war journalist.
May 10, 2025
An amazing life. Her struggle with medical professionals' dismissal of her problems is a tale that entirely surmounts her war reporter side. A UK/NZ life.
4.5
Gloucestershire library
4.5
Gloucestershire library
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews