The Secret Life of Flying: What really happens when you travel by air

by Jeremy Burfoot

How does a plane stay up in the air?
Does the Mile-High Club actually exist?
When you flush the toilet, where does it all go?

Buckle up for some turbulence because nothing flies under the radar for Captain Jeremy Burfoot.

With more than 35 years of airline experience, the former Qantas pilot presents an Airbus-load of stories about unruly passengers and cockpit clashes, and expertly navigates the bizarre myths surrounding everyday air travel. He explains important details like why plane wings actually bend, which in-flight surfaces carry the most germs and how to make plane food taste better.

Jam-packed with hilarity, horror stories and honest insights, The Secret Life of Flying is part memoir and part guide to the skies - a razor-sharp and First Class read for anyone who has ever wondered who's really flying the plane ...

Genres: Nonfiction, Aviation, Biography, Memoir, Biography Memoir, Audiobook

290 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 25, 2024

Reviews

[Rowan MacDonald · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Secret Life of Flying is one of the funniest, most interesting books I’ve read in a long time. I found myself reading sections aloud to others and couldn’t put it down.

Captain Jeremy Burfoot, former Qantas pilot, takes us behind the scenes of the aviation world. Using more than 35 years of airline experience, he delves into every aspect of flying – from departure gate, to landing, and everything in between.

“Ideally, boarding would be done at the speed of a Benny Hill chase and with the Benny Hill chase music playing, but sadly it’s more like the last steps of a death-row prisoner towards the electric chair.”

I wasn’t expecting to laugh so much! Jeremy has a great sense of humour which makes this an entertaining read. He feels like your mate, sharing insider knowledge and stories. I enjoyed the relaxed, not-always-politically-correct vibe, and honesty throughout. Among many laughs and highlights were nicknames for cabin crew and pilots, which included: Sensor Light (only works if someone walks past), Blister (appears when the hard work is done) and Bushranger (holds everyone up).

It was a great mix of memoir, and guide to flying. Jeremy’s passion for aviation was across each page. I loved how it felt like he was always speaking directly to the reader. His technique with passenger announcements could easily describe the engaging way this book was written.

“Conversational and confident are all you need. Waffling is not a good trait. Get to the point, then shut up. A little bit of humour is okay too.”

Jeremy explores subjects ranging from rejected take-offs, to celebrities, and the truth behind the Mile High Club. He also gives advice on how to increase your chances for an upgrade, and explains the concept of “go-arounds." I gained new appreciation for the training and fatigue that pilots endure, while also being sure to never forget disinfectant wipes when flying. Naturally, turbulence was mentioned too.

“The turbulence got so bad that we couldn’t read the instruments in front of us, because the cockpit was shaking so violently.”

This was a fun, enlightening journey I didn’t want to end. It simultaneously made me want to catch a flight, and adopt checklists for each aspect of life. By eliminating the unknown, it has ensured I’ll be a calmer flyer in future.

The Secret Life of Flying is a smooth journey, from start to finish, and touches down with a resounding 5-stars. Highly recommend to anyone who has ever caught a flight, or those curious about the inner workings of commercial air travel.

Many thanks to Pan Macmillan for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Paul (Life In The Slow Lane) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brace! Brace! Brace! Your lifejackets are under your seat, along with a change of underwear.

I just love anything aviation related. It comes from growing up with a best mate who became a pilot for QANTAS. Have you ever wondered just what goes on behind that little door to the cockpit? Ever given a second thought to the complex procedures that get you to your destination without losing your luggage or being smashed into hamburger mince? This book answers those questions.

Anybody who knows a pilot will know they obsess over planning and organisation. It shows in this book. Jeremy has written this with beautiful logic, excellent research and wonderful layout of chapters. Good editing goes without saying. There's a bit of humour in there too, but these days, as he says, all the humour has been taken out of the aviation industry. If you are a bit of a timid flier, or maybe thinking of a career in aviation, then this is for you.

I loved it.

RIP my pilot mate, Jim. And no, he didn't die in a plane crash.

[Nathan Deery · Rating 1 out of 5]

Tasked with reading this for my Book Club, I wasn't sure how interesting a book on air-travel and aviation could be, but away we went. I found author Captain Jeremy to be extremely arrogant, rude, condescending, somewhat racist, sexist and extremely unfunny. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised as he is a white male in his 60s/70s. His so-called hilarious anecdotes were boring, his humour and one-liners cheap and mostly at the expense of people he viewed as below him i.e. Japanese people, women, over-weight people, cabin-crew members, anyone who isn't a Pilot. I can't say I learnt or enjoyed too many, if any curious facts or notable tales from the so-called 'Secret Life of Flying', except that the stereotype of Airline Captains being wankers is probably true. If you find fart and Uranus jokes the height of hilarity (there's plenty of them) then this is the book for you. For me, I was screaming out 'Mayday, Mayday!' from the start.

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5* this was so fun and informative in a very lighthearted and digestible way. Really enjoyed the humour (most of the time), and actually laughed out loud multiple times.

[Lena · Rating 2 out of 5]

It started off relatively OK, then the author started to add lots of boring technical details, dad jokes,and all sorts of offences of various nationalities. I hate to DNF books, so I persevered and got to the end. I gave the book two stars because there were a couple of funny jokes and some useful information about the industry, but it wasn't worth my time

[Trent Bowes · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was certainly an interesting book. I definitely learnt a lot more about planes than I would have known otherwise. The level of safety that they do is enormous, but I understand why that is the case when there are people’s lives on the line. At times I found myself chuckling along to the funny stories mentioned in the book, however I also found that I never had the urge to pick it up and read it all in one go. Would I recommend this to others? If you were interested or wanted to know more about flying, yes. Would I read it again? No

[Kirsty Bullock · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a good and witty book. As someone in the industry, I couldn’t help but laugh at the stories and insights into life in the sky. Highly recommend read.

[Olwen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my! Such a great read. Not recommended for reading in public unless you are comfortable laughing out loud.

[Emanuela · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an incredible read! Picked this up, largely by chance and it has come to be a very happy accident. Many moments I laughed out loud and oftentimes found myself eagerly flipping pages at a rapid rate of knots. Being a student pilot myself, it was awesome to get some insight into what I am getting myself into. Furthermore, the fact that it was delivered in a colloquial and fun style makes it a fantastic resource. I will be recommending this to many people, fellow pilot peers, those interested in aviation (and those not) those with a fear of flying and I will most definitely be rereading this in the future.

[R Hinchco · Rating 5 out of 5]

Always enjoy flying and what an informative,funny, lighthearted read about the whole journey from start to finish.
Captain Burfoot, thank you for your service in the NZRAF and for a tremendous read!

[Amie · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Secret Life of Flying is a light, engaging look at the wonders of flight, blending personal anecdotes, history, and technical tidbits. Jeremy Burfoot clearly has a deep love for aviation, and that passion comes through in the way he tells stories and shares facts that even casual readers can appreciate.

That said, while I enjoyed dipping into it, the book didn’t always hold my attention and sometimes skimmed the surface rather than digging deeper. A good read for aviation fans, but for me it landed more as a pleasant curiosity than a standout.

[Ange · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a very interesting inside look into the world of aviation from a former pilot. I confess to having learnt a lot about everything from emergency landings to the mile high club, and while some of the technical information went right over my head, the organisational and interpersonal dynamics discussed were eye opening. I do agree with some other reviewers that the author can come across a cynical and ethnocentric. He does openly concede that pilots (and especially captains) tend to be type A personalities which might not justify his attitudes, but does explain them. If you have an interest in flying, I definitely think you should give this book a read.

[Joe Matera · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Secret Life of Flying rolls back the curtain to take a look at all the intricacies involved in flying a commercial aircraft with a first-hand account, by now retired pilot Captain Jeremy Burfoot, who for thirty-six years was a pilot for Qantas.

In his book, Burfoot sheds light on all the mysteries surrounding flying, while at the same time both informing, and entertaining the reader with his engaging story telling. If you ever feared from boarding a plane, this book will dispel all those fears. The narrative is presented in a form that begins from the moment one arrives at the departure gate through the entire journey of the flight and ends upon arrival at the place of destination.

In between, everything from take-off to turbulence and from cabin crew rest to the mile high club is covered in an engaging manner that never gets overly bogged in detail, while at the same time, explained in an easy and simple to understand manner. Throughout Burfoot punctuates his stories with much intelligent humour. One fine example, is the chapter on Aircraft Toilets. In his superb way of shedding light on a taboo subject, Burfoot manages to turn it into quite an engaging topic which is underscored and characterized by his witty sense of humour as the following paragraph highlights:

“By pushing the flush button on an Airbus, you are sending your poo on an exhilarating 200 kph journey through pipes to a holding tank in the back of the aircraft belly. There, it gets to party with everyone else’s waste until sucked out by Winston the poo man at the end of flight”.

The Secret Life of Flying is a real page turner of a book, that is candid, engaging, entertaining and educational and totally demystifies everything about flying. By the time you’ve finished the book, you too will have a deeper appreciation of flying. And if you have a fear of flying, this book will allay all your fears. Highly recommended and one of the best books ever written on the subject of flying!

[Ronald Nguyen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bored easily? Check. Aviation? Check. Captain’s Point of View? Check. Comedy? Check. Misleading Title? Check. Did I like it? BIG CHECK!!

The title of this book is clickbait, just like the life of a captain of a commercial airline. Being a captain from a layperson’s point of view is not about being rich, powerful, and famous. It’s the total opposite. You start from the ground, then move up the ranks before gaining the power to control a crew and occupants, where you will be the judge, jury, and executioner. Metaphorically, you decide the fate of the flight and those who are on it. You are the law in the flight.

I would classify this book more as a memoir or an autobiography through the eyes of Jeremy. The clickbait title made me pick up the book, but Jeremy’s storytelling and humor kept me to the end.

If you are a technical person, this is not the book for you. But if you love hearing the perspective of another person’s life and learning a bit about aviation as a bonus, this is the book for you

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is such an entertaining, informative and funny book about what happens behind the scenes of flying. Captain Jeremy Burfoot is a highly talented pilot from his time in the NZ Armed Forces, to his commercial work for JAL and Quantas airlines.

This book covers it is all from how planes work to how pilots are served their food to what it's like to have a fear of flying and everything damn thing in-between, all told with the typical Kiwi, dark, sarcastic humour.

The stories, the antidotes, the science, the metaphors, the analogies are all beautifully woven together to form a hit book from start to finish.

[Catsalive · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting & informative without becoming too technical or sensational. The humour was pretty restrained as were his comments about the corporate side of things - no gnashings of teeth here but I can imagine there were some less inhibited ruminations at one point, even if there weren't uttered in the cockpit for the recordings. I also imagine Jeremy does have a few uproarious stories he could tell but didn't for obvious reasons, people finding offense at the mildest of criticism. I'm very glad to hear that there have been some sensible conditions placed on ESAs at last.

I enjoyed reading this & found it all quite comforting to know.

[Philip Weyers · Rating 5 out of 5]

The fascinating anecdotal life of Capt Jeremy Burfoot, who trained as NZAF Navigator and went on to become an airline pilot, flying the Boeing 747-400 and the Airbus A-380 for both Qantas and JAL. Capt Burfoot lifts the lid on life as a pilot flying international routes with many interesting facts and stats along with numerous stories of life at 37000 feet above Mother Earth. The book is easy to read, and Capt Burfoot has, for me at least, a most amusing writing style. Highly recommended for anyone who has ever flown with an airline, you will not regret it. Full marks from me!

[Patricanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m sure the author was a popular crew member, know for his witty repartee. This doesn’t translate well to print, and combined with a tendency to spout calculations and other numerical information (which a pilot should obviously be a master of), results in mild entertainment

[Tiarna McRae · Rating 1 out of 5]

Had some good information about aviation, and was interesting for a while, until it wasn’t.

Didn’t like the author’s views; I’ll only give him some benefit of the doubt as he exists in the older generation of society…

[Nancy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting perspective on aviation and a fun audiobook to listen to. Glad I picked this one up

[Graham · Rating 2 out of 5]

I got about half way through and gave up. It was kind of like hearing stories from a boring uncle who was a pilot and thinks highly of himself and thinks that he is hilarious.

[Neens West · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting tidbits on what happens behind the scenes on planes but peppered with "dad-joke" humour.

[Patrick · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author has a great sense of humour and explains things in a good way. I hope that the book pays for his therapy due to a covid related last flight.

[Saturday's Child · Rating 4 out of 5]

Flying is one of my least favourite activities and a part of travel that I dislike the most. I did however find this book to be both informative and funny.

[Elspeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Of particular interest to me as a Kiwi (Kiwi writer) and someone who works in aviation, albeit on the ground. Interesting insight. Easy read

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to the audiobook and found it informative and funny. Listened on 1.5 speed as the Captain talks rather slow.

[Paul Wilcock · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun and educational. Never flying without antiseptic wipes ever again.

[Lucy Sherwood · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really interesting to learn a lot about the behind the scenes of aviation. I didn't always like what the author had to say - he didn't seem particularly open minded or progressive, but it was an easy and interesting read nonetheless.