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The School of Life
How to Age
A deep and thoughtful look at what it means to age, how to do it well and why we care at all
162 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2014
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October 24, 2024
“The afternoon of human life must also have a significance of its own and cannot be merely a pitiful appendage to life’s morning.” (Carl Jung)
Another great one from the School of Life. It was therapeutic for me to read this in the run-up to another birthday; it reminded me that “growing older is inevitable – if we’re lucky. A long life signals that we’re privileged, either through genetic serendipity, affluence or sheer luck.” So who am I to bemoan a modest number and pluck the odd silvery hair? Of course I should be nothing but grateful.
Karpf convinced me that “the idea that ageing is nothing but a trajectory of decline is bewilderingly misleading.” Instead, she argues, “ageing can be actively enriching, a time of immense growth...we become more, and not less, diverse as we age. Age doesn’t obliterate our individual traits and identities – on the contrary, it heightens them.” In other words, we become more ourselves as we age; we grow into our skins and figure out what’s really important to us. This is something May Sarton hints at in her journals ( At Eighty-Two et al.) – and indeed, Karpf quotes her more than once.
I learned a couple of new terms from this book: gerontophobia and age-apartheid. Karpf makes a strong case for both being unhelpful and, ultimately, self-defeating. After all, ageism is just “prejudice against our future self.” She concedes, though, that many are resentful of Baby Boomers for the ways they seem to have enjoyed themselves and squandered resources at the expense of future generations.
One of the most interesting chapters discusses gendered responses to ageing. Women who try to look young or preserve their sexuality are seen as pathetic man-eaters, whereas men ‘keep their looks’ longer and win congratulation for maintaining their virility. (Here’s a terrifying fact for you: Anne Bancroft played The Graduate’s Mrs. Robinson – that quintessential cougar – at age 36!) Karpf argues that for both sexes, “love is not the preserve of the young. The psychotherapist Marie de Hennezel argues that ‘something within us does not grow old. I shall call it the heart. I don’t mean the organ, which does of course age, but the capacity to love and desire.’”
We might deny the elderly their sexuality, but how much more do we deny them (or the ill of any age) a chance to discuss impending death with honesty and courage? Especially in America, the refusal to face death is rampant (something Denise Inge discussed in her superb posthumous book, A Tour of Bones). No more will you find “old age” or “natural causes” listed as a cause of death on death certificates. It’s all euphemisms and technical jargon nowadays. Why not join a Death Café or watch the Japanese film Ikiru and do some serious thinking about death instead?
“If we can cultivate a respect for our own growth, and develop the ability to greet our ageing self with both pleasure and realism, and without the need to either idealize or deride its younger incarnation, then we’re putting in place important capacities that will serve us our entire life.”
Note: this book is largely UK-centric (the School of Life, started by Alain de Botton, is in London), but here’s some useful US information I gleaned:
• Maitri House, Maryland (an intentional community that happens to be intergenerational)
• Generations United
• Elder Wisdom Circle
• Order of the Good Death, Caitlin Doughty (author of Smoke Gets in Your Eyes)
(Plus there are plenty of Death Cafés in the U.S.)
Another great one from the School of Life. It was therapeutic for me to read this in the run-up to another birthday; it reminded me that “growing older is inevitable – if we’re lucky. A long life signals that we’re privileged, either through genetic serendipity, affluence or sheer luck.” So who am I to bemoan a modest number and pluck the odd silvery hair? Of course I should be nothing but grateful.
Karpf convinced me that “the idea that ageing is nothing but a trajectory of decline is bewilderingly misleading.” Instead, she argues, “ageing can be actively enriching, a time of immense growth...we become more, and not less, diverse as we age. Age doesn’t obliterate our individual traits and identities – on the contrary, it heightens them.” In other words, we become more ourselves as we age; we grow into our skins and figure out what’s really important to us. This is something May Sarton hints at in her journals ( At Eighty-Two et al.) – and indeed, Karpf quotes her more than once.
I learned a couple of new terms from this book: gerontophobia and age-apartheid. Karpf makes a strong case for both being unhelpful and, ultimately, self-defeating. After all, ageism is just “prejudice against our future self.” She concedes, though, that many are resentful of Baby Boomers for the ways they seem to have enjoyed themselves and squandered resources at the expense of future generations.
One of the most interesting chapters discusses gendered responses to ageing. Women who try to look young or preserve their sexuality are seen as pathetic man-eaters, whereas men ‘keep their looks’ longer and win congratulation for maintaining their virility. (Here’s a terrifying fact for you: Anne Bancroft played The Graduate’s Mrs. Robinson – that quintessential cougar – at age 36!) Karpf argues that for both sexes, “love is not the preserve of the young. The psychotherapist Marie de Hennezel argues that ‘something within us does not grow old. I shall call it the heart. I don’t mean the organ, which does of course age, but the capacity to love and desire.’”
We might deny the elderly their sexuality, but how much more do we deny them (or the ill of any age) a chance to discuss impending death with honesty and courage? Especially in America, the refusal to face death is rampant (something Denise Inge discussed in her superb posthumous book, A Tour of Bones). No more will you find “old age” or “natural causes” listed as a cause of death on death certificates. It’s all euphemisms and technical jargon nowadays. Why not join a Death Café or watch the Japanese film Ikiru and do some serious thinking about death instead?
“If we can cultivate a respect for our own growth, and develop the ability to greet our ageing self with both pleasure and realism, and without the need to either idealize or deride its younger incarnation, then we’re putting in place important capacities that will serve us our entire life.”
Note: this book is largely UK-centric (the School of Life, started by Alain de Botton, is in London), but here’s some useful US information I gleaned:
• Maitri House, Maryland (an intentional community that happens to be intergenerational)
• Generations United
• Elder Wisdom Circle
• Order of the Good Death, Caitlin Doughty (author of Smoke Gets in Your Eyes)
(Plus there are plenty of Death Cafés in the U.S.)
February 12, 2021
تا پیر نشویم و تجربه زیسته آن را نداشته باشیم پیری را کاملا لمس و درک نخواهیم کرد ولی پاورچین پاورچین بسراغ ما خواهد آمد پس مطالعه درباره آینده ما رویارویی با آنرا تحمل پذیرتر خواهد کرد.
ان کارف در این کتاب از مجموعه کتاب های مدرسه زندگی می گوید جامعه ترس عمیقی از پیری دارد و نشان دادن سن شما به طور فزاینده یکی از گسترده ترین تابوهای ما است. پیری در زندگی مدرن به طور گسترده ای به عنوان زمان نزول فرد اجتناب ناپذیر است و انکار یا غلبه بر آن غیرممکن تلقی می شود. در "چگونه پیر شویم" ، آن کارف ، جامعه شناس و محقق ، ما را ترغیب می کند که روایت خود را به طور اساسی تغییر دهیم.
کارف با بررسی چگونگی چشم انداز ما در مورد پیری ، از نظر تاریخی این موضوع را به طور واضح تری تعیین و از لحاظ فرهنگی تعریف می کند ، که مطالعات موردی را آشکار می کند تا نشان دهد که چگونه سالخوردگی می تواند یک زمان غنی سازی فعالانه از رشد فرد باشد. او استدلال می کند که اگر بتوانیم بزرگتر شدن را به عنوان بخشی اجتناب ناپذیر از شرایط انسانی تشخیص دهیم ، دیگر چالش بزرگ پیر شدن برای افراد به صورت معضلی بزرگ تلقی نمی شود. در چگونه پیر شویم، بیاموزید که پیر شدن در مورد آمادگی جسمی شما نیست ، بلکه عزم کامل برای زندگی در هر سن و مرحله ای از زندگی است.
در بخشی از کتاب آمده است: «جامعه به شدت از پیر شدن می ترسد و پیری را عارضه ای می داند که باید از آن اجتناب کرد و به کمک علم پزشکی آن را از بین برد»
آیا شما هم سن واقعی تان را پنهان می کنید؟ جامعه به شدت از پیرشدن می ترسد و پیری را عارضه ای می داند که باید از آن اجتناب کرد و به کمک علم پزشکی آن را از بین برد. نویسنده کتاب از ما می خواهد این تلقی از پیری را تغییر دهیم. او نشان می دهد که تلقی ما از پیری در بستری فرهنگی و تاریخی شکل می گیرد، و معتقد است که دوره پیر شدن می تواند دوره ای پربار و پویا در زندگی ما باشد. او می گوید اگر پیری را بخشی از سرنوشت مان بدانیم با آن کنار می آییم...
آن کارف مثالهای جالب و متنوعی را نقل می کند که این واقعیت را تأیید می کند که سن به ما کمک می کند تا منابع پایدار معنا را کشف کنیم.
ان کارف در این کتاب از مجموعه کتاب های مدرسه زندگی می گوید جامعه ترس عمیقی از پیری دارد و نشان دادن سن شما به طور فزاینده یکی از گسترده ترین تابوهای ما است. پیری در زندگی مدرن به طور گسترده ای به عنوان زمان نزول فرد اجتناب ناپذیر است و انکار یا غلبه بر آن غیرممکن تلقی می شود. در "چگونه پیر شویم" ، آن کارف ، جامعه شناس و محقق ، ما را ترغیب می کند که روایت خود را به طور اساسی تغییر دهیم.
کارف با بررسی چگونگی چشم انداز ما در مورد پیری ، از نظر تاریخی این موضوع را به طور واضح تری تعیین و از لحاظ فرهنگی تعریف می کند ، که مطالعات موردی را آشکار می کند تا نشان دهد که چگونه سالخوردگی می تواند یک زمان غنی سازی فعالانه از رشد فرد باشد. او استدلال می کند که اگر بتوانیم بزرگتر شدن را به عنوان بخشی اجتناب ناپذیر از شرایط انسانی تشخیص دهیم ، دیگر چالش بزرگ پیر شدن برای افراد به صورت معضلی بزرگ تلقی نمی شود. در چگونه پیر شویم، بیاموزید که پیر شدن در مورد آمادگی جسمی شما نیست ، بلکه عزم کامل برای زندگی در هر سن و مرحله ای از زندگی است.
در بخشی از کتاب آمده است: «جامعه به شدت از پیر شدن می ترسد و پیری را عارضه ای می داند که باید از آن اجتناب کرد و به کمک علم پزشکی آن را از بین برد»
آیا شما هم سن واقعی تان را پنهان می کنید؟ جامعه به شدت از پیرشدن می ترسد و پیری را عارضه ای می داند که باید از آن اجتناب کرد و به کمک علم پزشکی آن را از بین برد. نویسنده کتاب از ما می خواهد این تلقی از پیری را تغییر دهیم. او نشان می دهد که تلقی ما از پیری در بستری فرهنگی و تاریخی شکل می گیرد، و معتقد است که دوره پیر شدن می تواند دوره ای پربار و پویا در زندگی ما باشد. او می گوید اگر پیری را بخشی از سرنوشت مان بدانیم با آن کنار می آییم...
آن کارف مثالهای جالب و متنوعی را نقل می کند که این واقعیت را تأیید می کند که سن به ما کمک می کند تا منابع پایدار معنا را کشف کنیم.
April 23, 2017
Đọc sách để hy vọng bớt sợ già đi, đọc xong vẫn sợ như thường. Quay đi quay lại thấy bạn bè cưới xin, sinh con đẻ cái hết rồi làm mình thấy thời gian tàn nhẫn quá trời.
Cuốn này có nhiều ý tưởng rất hay, đọc xong sợ già vẫn sợ nhưng chắc là đỡ hoang mang hơn tí, mà cái chương mình thích nhất là đoạn giải thích tại sao người ta sợ già đi như thế, cũng vì cái thời đại người ta ca ngợi tuổi trẻ quá nhiều, đặc biệt là mấy trang báo mạng lúc nào cũng ra rả: "tuổi trẻ phải...", nhưng nơi cần đi trước năm 30, sách cần đọc trước năm 25 chẳng hạn, làm người ta cảm giác phải sống gấp, sống vội vì qua năm đó là hết được đi, hết được đọc :))). Mà thật ra cuối cùng thì vẫn nhắm mắt chờ thời gian ập tới thôi chứ đâu làm được gì :'(
Cuốn này có nhiều ý tưởng rất hay, đọc xong sợ già vẫn sợ nhưng chắc là đỡ hoang mang hơn tí, mà cái chương mình thích nhất là đoạn giải thích tại sao người ta sợ già đi như thế, cũng vì cái thời đại người ta ca ngợi tuổi trẻ quá nhiều, đặc biệt là mấy trang báo mạng lúc nào cũng ra rả: "tuổi trẻ phải...", nhưng nơi cần đi trước năm 30, sách cần đọc trước năm 25 chẳng hạn, làm người ta cảm giác phải sống gấp, sống vội vì qua năm đó là hết được đi, hết được đọc :))). Mà thật ra cuối cùng thì vẫn nhắm mắt chờ thời gian ập tới thôi chứ đâu làm được gì :'(
February 6, 2017
This little book is packed full of wisdom on how to age, just as the title says. Society is incredibly ageist, but this author points out, this makes you prejudice against your future self. Because I write about aging, I really believe we need to rethink how we treat older people and remind ourselves everyday, I too will be ___ (fill in the blank with any age) some day and how do I want to be treated? Also, knowing, understanding and accepting that your looks are going to change is incredibly important. Are you going to be that person looking in the mirror bemoaning your aging skin and body, or the person engaged in life and just living healthy every day by eating well, reading, learning and laughing because in the end, if looks is all you have, when they go, life is going to be sad. This book also talks about the benefits of aging amongst all ages. Age apartheid is not a healthy way to go. There are lots of good tips here. Read this book no matter your age. We all age...unless we're dead. I'd prefer aging, thank you very much!
November 15, 2022
И друг път съм попадал на книги в подобен стил, копиращи стила на монографиите в хуманитарните дисциплини, които се състоят практически само дълги цитати от други книги, съшити с по няколко реда от "автора" на книгата. Слагам в кавички автор, защото да цитираш други хора за 80% от обема на книгата ти, според мен не те прави такъв.
И така настоящата книга се занимава с това как да остаряваме, но в нея няма никаква оригинална мисъл, нито дори особено много цитати от мъдри книги по този въпрос - основните цитати са на някакви "знаменитости", които само "авторът" смята за такива.
И така настоящата книга се занимава с това как да остаряваме, но в нея няма никаква оригинална мисъл, нито дори особено много цитати от мъдри книги по този въпрос - основните цитати са на някакви "знаменитости", които само "авторът" смята за такива.
April 30, 2015
For to age is to live and to live is to age
"How to Age" by sociologist and award-winning journalist Anne Karpf is a complete guide to helping one learn how to embrace ageing and to reject all stereotypes of old age. I am a specialist in ageing and I enjoyed reading this book immensely (except for it’s tiny font). Karpf’s main messages really hit home for me, and I wish that everyone would read this book. It would make the world a much happier place. Here are the messages that stood out for me:
• Ageing is a lifelong process that starts at birth (or I would think even at conception!)
• Perhaps we could replace the word ageing with growth – as the word ageing is so contaminated by contempt and fear.
• Adopting an aptitude for gratitude can help one embrace the ageing process.
The book isn’t all positive talk, either. One page is dedicated to dementia, a topic that I think deserves much more attention. She tells us horror stories of what the Sardinians and Japanese used to do to their elders. Karpf explains that elder abuse is on the rise in Japan. She touches on the concept of “age shame.” It’s enough to scare one into embracing ageing because the alternative looks pretty grim.
Most of the topics are related to our attitudes, versus telling us how-to-age in the physical sense. She ends the book by saying that the best way to “age well”, turns out to be the same as “living well.” A great read that makes you think. It will leave you realizing that being anti-age is the same as being anti-life, and adopting a pro-age belief system appears to be the more sensible option. Age well, my friend.
"How to Age" by sociologist and award-winning journalist Anne Karpf is a complete guide to helping one learn how to embrace ageing and to reject all stereotypes of old age. I am a specialist in ageing and I enjoyed reading this book immensely (except for it’s tiny font). Karpf’s main messages really hit home for me, and I wish that everyone would read this book. It would make the world a much happier place. Here are the messages that stood out for me:
• Ageing is a lifelong process that starts at birth (or I would think even at conception!)
• Perhaps we could replace the word ageing with growth – as the word ageing is so contaminated by contempt and fear.
• Adopting an aptitude for gratitude can help one embrace the ageing process.
The book isn’t all positive talk, either. One page is dedicated to dementia, a topic that I think deserves much more attention. She tells us horror stories of what the Sardinians and Japanese used to do to their elders. Karpf explains that elder abuse is on the rise in Japan. She touches on the concept of “age shame.” It’s enough to scare one into embracing ageing because the alternative looks pretty grim.
Most of the topics are related to our attitudes, versus telling us how-to-age in the physical sense. She ends the book by saying that the best way to “age well”, turns out to be the same as “living well.” A great read that makes you think. It will leave you realizing that being anti-age is the same as being anti-life, and adopting a pro-age belief system appears to be the more sensible option. Age well, my friend.
August 12, 2014
I stumbled upon this book, when finding books by Tristan Gooley. Since I am approaching 50 years of age, now a perfect square, and finding that I can do so much more than I expected when I was younger, actually enjoying this age more than I enjoyed my twenties, I needed a book that could outbalance the 50-plus clubs I encounter. I even found several 50-plus yoga classes, which I think are a 'contradiction in terminus'. However, this book was not a clearcut 'how to', mostly because you have to go your own path by yourself, but it did show some light at the end of the tunnel, mostly pointing to the reader to make the change. So I am going to get my act together and try to abstain from any age-secular communication. Please, read this book, whatever age you are, because it might well be an important driving force behind a more connected society.
January 24, 2020
کتاب چگونه پیر شویم از مجموعه کتاب های کوچکی بود که به همراه چند چگونه ی دیگر خریدم- از نشر هنوز. این کتاب را در تاکسی و اسنپ و کافه های تهران خواندم و بعد از تمام شدنش به شیوه ی درخشانی پیر از نوع آلزایمری اش شده و عینکم را گم کردم.
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کتاب فروید- جوک ها و ارتباط ان ها
شوخی- راهی ست برای بیان اضطراب ها و کنترل آن ها.
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- پیر شدن اجتناب ناپذیر است. رویکرد پیر شدن روندی مادام العمر را در بر می گیرد نه فقط آخرین مرحله زندگی انسان را.
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وودی آلن با پر شدن مخالف نیست چون راه بهتری برای فرار از جوانمردی پیدا نمی کند.
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فواید پیری:
مغز در میانسالی بسیار منعطف تر است. نمونه ی هنرمندان و معماران و بزرگانی که در پیری، آثار درخشان خود را ساختند.
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- ابلا رفتن سن در مرحله ای از زندگی به شکلی پویا می تواند آن را پربارتر کند.
- در واقع در سی سالگی به نسبت بیست سالگی رضایت بیشتری از زندگی وجود دارد.
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خوشامدگوی به خویشتن در حال پیر شدن.
- فرهنگ است که سن ما را تعیین می کند.
- یک روز چشم باز کردم دیدم زنی هفتاد ساله در بسترم.
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البته نمی توانیم به عقب بازگردیم. وجود انسان وابسته به زمان است. همانطور که بوداییان پیرو ذن می گویند هستی را نمی توان از زمان جدا کرد. ما در زمان زندگی می کنیم. زمان زندگی فردی خودمان و زمان نسل خود و دوره ای که در ان به دنیا امده ایم. پیر شدن نه تنها فرایندی فیزیولوژیک بلکه فرایندی روان شناختی و فکری و اجتماعی و فرهنگی ست.
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- کسانی که به بهترین نحو پیر می شوند کسانی هستند که سبک سفر می کنند. پیر شدن انعطاف روحی لازم دارد.
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- پنجاه سالگی اصلا غم انگیز نیست. مگر اینکه در پنجاه سالگی سعی کنی بیست و پنج ساله باشی.
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- در زبان عبری، لغت گویل هم به معنای سن است و هم به معنای شادی
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اودیپ، شهریار را در 68 سالگی سرود. پیکاسو تا زمان مرگش به نقاشی ادامه داد تا 92 سالگی.
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- کنجکاوی هیچ محدودیت سنی ندارد. یادگیری باید عمیقا لذت بخش باشد و هرگز متوقف نشود.
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- لذتی که در بودن هست.
عجیب نیست که فرهنگ هاییی که در آن ها صرف بودن بی ارزش است و انجام بیش از اندازه ی کار ارزشمند می شود پیری را به چشم تحقیر و ترس می نگرند.
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- در مصاحبه ای از زنی صد ساله پرسیدند آیا هیچ وقت حسرت چیزی را می خورد؟ او جواب داد اگر می دانستم صد سال زندگی می کنم حتما در چهل سالگی تازه ویلون یاد می گرفتم و حالا شصت سالی می شد که ویلون می زدم.
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- معنی خوب پیر شدن برای رمان نویسی چون ادیت وارتون، نترسیدن از تغییر بود. سیری ناپذیری در کنجکاوی فکری، علاقمندی به چیزهای بزرگ و خوشحال شدن به روش های ساده.
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کتاب فروید- جوک ها و ارتباط ان ها
شوخی- راهی ست برای بیان اضطراب ها و کنترل آن ها.
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- پیر شدن اجتناب ناپذیر است. رویکرد پیر شدن روندی مادام العمر را در بر می گیرد نه فقط آخرین مرحله زندگی انسان را.
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وودی آلن با پر شدن مخالف نیست چون راه بهتری برای فرار از جوانمردی پیدا نمی کند.
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فواید پیری:
مغز در میانسالی بسیار منعطف تر است. نمونه ی هنرمندان و معماران و بزرگانی که در پیری، آثار درخشان خود را ساختند.
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- ابلا رفتن سن در مرحله ای از زندگی به شکلی پویا می تواند آن را پربارتر کند.
- در واقع در سی سالگی به نسبت بیست سالگی رضایت بیشتری از زندگی وجود دارد.
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خوشامدگوی به خویشتن در حال پیر شدن.
- فرهنگ است که سن ما را تعیین می کند.
- یک روز چشم باز کردم دیدم زنی هفتاد ساله در بسترم.
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البته نمی توانیم به عقب بازگردیم. وجود انسان وابسته به زمان است. همانطور که بوداییان پیرو ذن می گویند هستی را نمی توان از زمان جدا کرد. ما در زمان زندگی می کنیم. زمان زندگی فردی خودمان و زمان نسل خود و دوره ای که در ان به دنیا امده ایم. پیر شدن نه تنها فرایندی فیزیولوژیک بلکه فرایندی روان شناختی و فکری و اجتماعی و فرهنگی ست.
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- کسانی که به بهترین نحو پیر می شوند کسانی هستند که سبک سفر می کنند. پیر شدن انعطاف روحی لازم دارد.
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- پنجاه سالگی اصلا غم انگیز نیست. مگر اینکه در پنجاه سالگی سعی کنی بیست و پنج ساله باشی.
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- در زبان عبری، لغت گویل هم به معنای سن است و هم به معنای شادی
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اودیپ، شهریار را در 68 سالگی سرود. پیکاسو تا زمان مرگش به نقاشی ادامه داد تا 92 سالگی.
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- کنجکاوی هیچ محدودیت سنی ندارد. یادگیری باید عمیقا لذت بخش باشد و هرگز متوقف نشود.
.
- لذتی که در بودن هست.
عجیب نیست که فرهنگ هاییی که در آن ها صرف بودن بی ارزش است و انجام بیش از اندازه ی کار ارزشمند می شود پیری را به چشم تحقیر و ترس می نگرند.
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- در مصاحبه ای از زنی صد ساله پرسیدند آیا هیچ وقت حسرت چیزی را می خورد؟ او جواب داد اگر می دانستم صد سال زندگی می کنم حتما در چهل سالگی تازه ویلون یاد می گرفتم و حالا شصت سالی می شد که ویلون می زدم.
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- معنی خوب پیر شدن برای رمان نویسی چون ادیت وارتون، نترسیدن از تغییر بود. سیری ناپذیری در کنجکاوی فکری، علاقمندی به چیزهای بزرگ و خوشحال شدن به روش های ساده.
October 8, 2014
I received a complimentary copy of this book via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
I have not read, nor was I familiar with, any books in the School of Life. If the rest of the books are as good as How to Age, I would read them all.
How to Age is short and to the point. The umbrella statement take-away is that societies have forgotten that everything, life included, has a beginning and an end. The end is not something to fear and demonize. The Woody Allen statement quoted in the book sums it up perfectly: "I've nothing against growing older since nobody has found a better way of not dying young."
Anne Karpf's book is about society's view on and fear of "ageing" as well as a call for a shift in paradigm about it. There are so many lovely catch phrases in this text; one of my favorites is "ageing zestfully". While society, skin care and cosmetic companies have taught us that 16 is the new 18 and, Anne Karpf teaches us that a suppleness of spirit is one of the trophies of growing older that the young should look forward to.
How to Age by Anne Karpf is a wonderful reminder to be thankful for every stage of your life from the first step to the last kiss.
I have not read, nor was I familiar with, any books in the School of Life. If the rest of the books are as good as How to Age, I would read them all.
How to Age is short and to the point. The umbrella statement take-away is that societies have forgotten that everything, life included, has a beginning and an end. The end is not something to fear and demonize. The Woody Allen statement quoted in the book sums it up perfectly: "I've nothing against growing older since nobody has found a better way of not dying young."
Anne Karpf's book is about society's view on and fear of "ageing" as well as a call for a shift in paradigm about it. There are so many lovely catch phrases in this text; one of my favorites is "ageing zestfully". While society, skin care and cosmetic companies have taught us that 16 is the new 18 and, Anne Karpf teaches us that a suppleness of spirit is one of the trophies of growing older that the young should look forward to.
How to Age by Anne Karpf is a wonderful reminder to be thankful for every stage of your life from the first step to the last kiss.
Read
July 18, 2015How to Age explores the preconceptions of and prejudices against old age and is concerned with the social aspects (historical, economic, cultural). The author explains how we got to where we are in terms of assumptions as a society. I was expecting the advice section (influenced by another book from the School of Life series I just finished) but it never came. The pieces of advice are there but they are very subtle and spread throughout. Overall How to Age is an intelligent and informative read that offers a healthy change of perspective. The main point it argues - Aging is a process, and not a crisis.
http://slpssm.blogspot.com/2015/07/ho...
http://slpssm.blogspot.com/2015/07/ho...
August 29, 2016
Vitality and creativity know no age. Aging well is the same as living well.
My favorite quote: "There is no template for aging, or aging well. The best way is one's own way." This applies to many aspects of life, indeed.
A good and interesting read with stories and real life examples; not my favorite of the series, though ( Exercise and Nature are much more inspiring to me.)
My favorite quote: "There is no template for aging, or aging well. The best way is one's own way." This applies to many aspects of life, indeed.
A good and interesting read with stories and real life examples; not my favorite of the series, though ( Exercise and Nature are much more inspiring to me.)
January 26, 2018
This is a fascinating book, and the little I managed to read over the last few months has stuck with me and fed my ponderings. I loved the idea of resiliency and the ability to make connections being part of the beauty of the aging brain. Sadly, I found myself pulled to other books and other projects, and had to return this book to my cousin's bookshelf. Later, perhaps.
March 7, 2015
A disappointing book that could have been so much better. Some interesting ideas but overall the book seemed journalistic, rushed in the writing and hardly worth the effort. Pity
November 29, 2015
First several pages I was skeptical but it turned out to be a good (helpful to me) look at ageism, and it had some resources that I'll definately follow up on.
Age on!!
Age on!!
August 15, 2019
«گاهی وقتی می گویم پیرم، دیگران خجالت زده می شوند. آن ها سریعا درصدد بر می آیند به من اطمینان دهند، من واقعا آن قدرها هم پیر نیستم، انگار پیری مایه خجالت و شرمساری باشد. یا بیماری که آن ها نگران اند به آن مبتلا شوند... [اما] من شصت و سه سالم و برای اولین بار در زندگی ام حس میکنم سنم کاملا مناسب است، یا به سنم می آیم؛ اما همیشه اینطور نبوده ام»
این که به سن تان بیایید. مفهومی شگفت انگیز است؛ نشانه رشد واقعی است.
این که به سن تان بیایید. مفهومی شگفت انگیز است؛ نشانه رشد واقعی است.
October 19, 2022
"I am more myself than I have ever been."
July 28, 2020
Made me think about my own lifespan differently. I've more hope and excitement for the decades of time I hopefully have left to fill
April 4, 2019
thanks I know how to grow old now. yesterday I was 4 years old but now I'm 35.
October 31, 2015
A lively and interesting read on ageing. I love to see (from other readers comments) that it's not only us 'oldens' who are reading such books. I am getting older, (can't believe I'm this age actually) but the thing is, I don't feel it and I am searching for ideas on how to make the most of my last phase of life. I hate the way in which old age is presented in the media and the lack of role models that help us shape our own lives. However, it would be foolish to deny the ageing process and the fear it instils. There is a balance to be made between accepting ageing and the way it manifests itself experientially and resilience to the process, behaving and acting in a way to ensure that we don't fulfil the prophesy of old age equals decrepitude.
Anne Karpf takes us on a jaunt. Not too serious but not flippant either. Using a two generation approach she weaves a fictitious narrative into her discussion. We are presented with a pair of baby boomers, Sara and Clive and their thirty year old daughter Gina. Sarah and Clive are denying ageing, considering that they have "extirpated ageing". Gina is dreading it. Both generations are harbouring a deep seated fear. I think this is pretty universal.
So much of what she writes makes sense to me and affirms a lot of what I've been thinking. I do expect to experience the ageing process differently from the generation before me but need to draw on an alternative model of getting older. In this book there's lots to help understand why there is the current view of ageing, why I feel as I do and how things might be different.
A wonderful cornucopia of ideas all brought together in a small book which can be read in an afternoon. Excellent value and a welcome addition to my book cabinet.
Anne Karpf takes us on a jaunt. Not too serious but not flippant either. Using a two generation approach she weaves a fictitious narrative into her discussion. We are presented with a pair of baby boomers, Sara and Clive and their thirty year old daughter Gina. Sarah and Clive are denying ageing, considering that they have "extirpated ageing". Gina is dreading it. Both generations are harbouring a deep seated fear. I think this is pretty universal.
So much of what she writes makes sense to me and affirms a lot of what I've been thinking. I do expect to experience the ageing process differently from the generation before me but need to draw on an alternative model of getting older. In this book there's lots to help understand why there is the current view of ageing, why I feel as I do and how things might be different.
A wonderful cornucopia of ideas all brought together in a small book which can be read in an afternoon. Excellent value and a welcome addition to my book cabinet.
March 18, 2018
Very disappointing even when you apply the lower standards that apply to school of life books.
Its title should have been "20 reasons why we are wrong about age" or something similarly trite. What you get here is less of a book and more of a 1 page newspaper article stretched over 130 pages wherein the author just states the problems with how age is viewed rather than any constructive or critical discussion.
It gets worse as this book was either cobbled together from miscellaneous articles or hastily dictated. There is close to no structure or organisation of thought or argument, you could literally read paragraphs at random and change chapter headings and the book would read almost the same.
The book is about 95% the issues with how we look at age (with arguments when they are supported mainly through a reference to an anecdote -often from a work of fiction - a quote or vague reference to a study) and that we shouldn't do that and that age is a journey not an event.
There are a few gems of wisdom - mainly the few referenced quotes but not worth 130 pages of rambling. The hypocrisy by the latter half of the book is kind of entertaining though, after spending the first part talking about not glorifying/ignoring age or pretending it doesn't bring any changes it then speaks as though almost all problems of old age are psychosomatic and that the worst one physically suffers is a few wrinkles and the indignity of having to have some help walking down stairs.
A good example of why a book written by journalists should be an immediate red flag.
Its title should have been "20 reasons why we are wrong about age" or something similarly trite. What you get here is less of a book and more of a 1 page newspaper article stretched over 130 pages wherein the author just states the problems with how age is viewed rather than any constructive or critical discussion.
It gets worse as this book was either cobbled together from miscellaneous articles or hastily dictated. There is close to no structure or organisation of thought or argument, you could literally read paragraphs at random and change chapter headings and the book would read almost the same.
The book is about 95% the issues with how we look at age (with arguments when they are supported mainly through a reference to an anecdote -often from a work of fiction - a quote or vague reference to a study) and that we shouldn't do that and that age is a journey not an event.
There are a few gems of wisdom - mainly the few referenced quotes but not worth 130 pages of rambling. The hypocrisy by the latter half of the book is kind of entertaining though, after spending the first part talking about not glorifying/ignoring age or pretending it doesn't bring any changes it then speaks as though almost all problems of old age are psychosomatic and that the worst one physically suffers is a few wrinkles and the indignity of having to have some help walking down stairs.
A good example of why a book written by journalists should be an immediate red flag.
Read
July 22, 2015Was more upset about Aging AFTER I finished.
Tempted to hurl it against the wall with all the strength my 58 year old arm could muster. Ugh! I heard an interview with the author on NPR and was intrigued. But, as it turns out, the interview was concerned with the idea of "ageism," which intrigues me but is only the diagnostic part of the book. The remedial parts, where the solutions are presented, are just ludicrous. The author thinks that the only "correct" way to age is to "Remember You Must Die" and just accept that decrepit and ugly is your Fate and it is Beautiful. You must behave yourself and "act your age" but never fear - if you must express your individuality, it is "allowable" to be eccentric - but you must not ever think of yourself as "youthful." For goodness sake! All this time I was under the impression that going to the gym 6 days a week, doing yoga, meditating, eating well, keeping my mind active, and engaging with other people were simply being done because I have ALWAYS done them. No, says the author, I am doing all this in a sad and ridiculous attempt to defeat the dreaded aging process and keep myself in a state of denial. What?????? Now that I think of it, think I will remove the second star. This is a waste of time. You have better things to do than read this. Booooo!
Tempted to hurl it against the wall with all the strength my 58 year old arm could muster. Ugh! I heard an interview with the author on NPR and was intrigued. But, as it turns out, the interview was concerned with the idea of "ageism," which intrigues me but is only the diagnostic part of the book. The remedial parts, where the solutions are presented, are just ludicrous. The author thinks that the only "correct" way to age is to "Remember You Must Die" and just accept that decrepit and ugly is your Fate and it is Beautiful. You must behave yourself and "act your age" but never fear - if you must express your individuality, it is "allowable" to be eccentric - but you must not ever think of yourself as "youthful." For goodness sake! All this time I was under the impression that going to the gym 6 days a week, doing yoga, meditating, eating well, keeping my mind active, and engaging with other people were simply being done because I have ALWAYS done them. No, says the author, I am doing all this in a sad and ridiculous attempt to defeat the dreaded aging process and keep myself in a state of denial. What?????? Now that I think of it, think I will remove the second star. This is a waste of time. You have better things to do than read this. Booooo!
March 11, 2014
How to Age (2014) by Anne Karpf is a book in the School of Life Series that tries to help us age. The book looks at how people view aging and what we can do to age gracefully.
Some of the other School of Life books are really quite good. How to Stay Sane is a solid book about what to do to keep mental health in order. How to Age does not work nearly as well. The book doesn’t deal with many of the specific fears of aging that confront us. Many of us will wind disabled due to the decay of our bodies and brains. How on earth should we look forward to that? The arc of Life, one of the chapters, does indeed sound noble. But few include ‘the age of incontinence’ in it.
The book has some insight into how we should deal with some aspects of aging and not worrying too much about things but it really doesn’t offer much other than the views of various people in history on aging.
Some of the other School of Life books are really quite good. How to Stay Sane is a solid book about what to do to keep mental health in order. How to Age does not work nearly as well. The book doesn’t deal with many of the specific fears of aging that confront us. Many of us will wind disabled due to the decay of our bodies and brains. How on earth should we look forward to that? The arc of Life, one of the chapters, does indeed sound noble. But few include ‘the age of incontinence’ in it.
The book has some insight into how we should deal with some aspects of aging and not worrying too much about things but it really doesn’t offer much other than the views of various people in history on aging.
June 16, 2016
A much more satisfying exploration of age than the recently published Old Age: A Beginner's Guide, which conveniently drifted off that topic! Karpf really digs deep into why so many people have a negative view of aging, especially how our culture has "age apartheid," keeping people from different generations too often apart. I also was horrified to learn that anti-aging messages start so young, with Wal Mart selling a product to tweens that will help their skin defy signs of aging. What? They now have to be worried about their bodies and their wrinkles, at 12?? I also loved her multidisciplinary approach, bringing in films like Harold and Maude and poets and psychologists to give us a more sensible and healthy look at getting older and how, even if it is filled with loss and change and challenges, cannot be a time of great understanding and acceptance of oneself. Finally.
February 6, 2019
How can we age well?
"Perhaps by realizing that souls need nurturing at every age, and that we need to begin the process long before we reach old age. If we can draw sustenance from these alternative views of aging while also directly facing our anxieties, if we're able to give ourselves permission to grow older but at the same time resist the myths about aging, then the gift we receive in return is invaluable: the ability to position ourselves in a whole lifespan, and see the integrity of a human life, however long or short it might be.
Those who urge us to fight aging are, in effect, inviting us to stop growing and developing. In doing so, they're depriving us of the opportunity to carry out and successfully complete the task of being alive and human."
This book is incredibly thought provoking.
"Perhaps by realizing that souls need nurturing at every age, and that we need to begin the process long before we reach old age. If we can draw sustenance from these alternative views of aging while also directly facing our anxieties, if we're able to give ourselves permission to grow older but at the same time resist the myths about aging, then the gift we receive in return is invaluable: the ability to position ourselves in a whole lifespan, and see the integrity of a human life, however long or short it might be.
Those who urge us to fight aging are, in effect, inviting us to stop growing and developing. In doing so, they're depriving us of the opportunity to carry out and successfully complete the task of being alive and human."
This book is incredibly thought provoking.
February 8, 2015
Passed to me by a friend and I will pass it on too. Largely preaching to the converted in terms of the attitude Karpf promotes to aging, but a worthy read. Amusing anecdotes, solid observations and a necessarily critical commentary of language, culture and politics in relation to 'growing old', which, as she points out, we've all been doing since we were born. There's a fair amount of 30, 40 and 60th birthdays busily occurring in my friendship group this year so plenty of good candidates to pass this to next.
September 21, 2014
An accessible, interesting round-up of current thinking in combatting ageism as a social and personal problem. I found the book very thought provoking and personally helpful - as an academic, I consider myself a critically aware person but was helped to see things differently by Anne Karpf's arguments. I was especially pleased to see good references to scholarly evidence and ideas from classic art & literature instead of the usual anecdotal woolly fluff that makes up self-help books.
January 21, 2015
This is not a depressing book at all, but empowering you with solid information including the "Homework" chapter which is an annotated bibliography for each chapter. Examples given throughout are from both the USA and England without favoring either country. After annotating the book I discovered too late dedicated note pages at the end! I received a free copy of the book through Goodreads first reads.
June 4, 2015
I had an idea that this book could make a good birthday gift for my girlfriends to whom, after a certain point in life, age becomes an issue. Prejudging from the book cover I was expecting some sort of entertainment that could refresh the terrifying thoughts about age but I couldn't encounter such effect. However, philosophically the book contains some great insights on aging but couldn't serve my purpose.
November 1, 2016
"We disown the feelings of weakness and vulnerability that arise at every stage of life, youth included, and transfer them instead into older people."
"It's not hard to see why it arises. Powerlessness is perhaps the hardest state for us to tolerate today. Our culture speaks approvingly (and often helpfully) about 'empowerment'"
" the best way of 'ageing well' turns out to be the same as 'living well'"
"It's not hard to see why it arises. Powerlessness is perhaps the hardest state for us to tolerate today. Our culture speaks approvingly (and often helpfully) about 'empowerment'"
" the best way of 'ageing well' turns out to be the same as 'living well'"
January 16, 2015
I won a free ARC of this book through a Good Reads Contest, in exchange for an honest review.
I have been thinking about aging a lot lately, since I had a milestone birthday this year (30). Very informative and thought provoking, I especially enjoyed the discussion of being disconnected from different ages than our own.
I have been thinking about aging a lot lately, since I had a milestone birthday this year (30). Very informative and thought provoking, I especially enjoyed the discussion of being disconnected from different ages than our own.
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