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American Girl Library
The Feelings Book: The Care & Keeping of Your Emotions
This companion to The Care and Keeping of You helps girls understand their emotions and learn to deal with them.
104 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2002
93 people are currently reading
1049 people want to read
About the author
Lynda Madison
15 books7 followersDr. Lynda Madison is the author of The Feelings Book and is a coauthor of What I Wish You Knew. A licensed psychologist and the director of family support and psychological services at Children’s Hospital in Omaha‚ Nebraska‚ Madison is also the author of Parenting with Purpose and Keep Talking: A Mother-Daughter Guide to the Preteen Years. She lives in Omaha.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 77 reviews
September 21, 2025
This book was written in the early 2000's and reading it makes me remember how hostile that world *was* to feelings and issues of mental health.
I think the concept for this book is excellent, but I didn't at all agree with the advice offered here to young people about how to handle emotions.
How does a book purporting to educate girls on their emotions advise them to avoid sad people? to avoid their pain? to avoid thinking about what makes them feel things? This is all terrible and troubling advice.
I found a paperback copy of this one in my therapist's office, but I'm going to point out some of the troubling passages to her when I return it.
I think the concept for this book is excellent, but I didn't at all agree with the advice offered here to young people about how to handle emotions.
How does a book purporting to educate girls on their emotions advise them to avoid sad people? to avoid their pain? to avoid thinking about what makes them feel things? This is all terrible and troubling advice.
I found a paperback copy of this one in my therapist's office, but I'm going to point out some of the troubling passages to her when I return it.
June 25, 2015
After reading The Care & Keeping of You 1: The Body Book for Younger Girls, I had really high hopes for this book. It was good, but I'm afraid it wasn't everything that I had hoped for.
It's worth noting that this book briefly mentions PMS, so it's probably best read after a book like The Care & Keeping of You 1: The Body Book for Younger Girls, which introduces the concept of menstruation.
On the plus side, the book helps to normalize the many emotions a growing girl might be feeling. I like that it is explicit about how your emotions will affect your behavior, and your behavior will affect how other people react to you. You need to make sure you are exhibiting the actual emotions you feel; if you just act angry, other people - and yourself - won't understand or address the actual emotions you may be feeling, which may be embarrassment, disappointment, or shame.
The book has several chapters talking about emotions in general. Specific emotions are addressed in the following sections:
I'm Scared
I Feel Anxious
I'm So Jealous
I've Been Disrespected
I'm Angry
I'm Lonely
I'm Really Sad
I'm Grieving
I Don't Feel Safe
Much of the book is formatted like an advice column, with questions outlining particular scenarios and answers providing specific tips and strategies. In many ways, the Q & A format was a good thing, because it made a lot of the emotions seem relatable. There were common scenarios like, "I'm scared to sleep alone at night," "I'm jealous that my sister is in my cousin's wedding, but I'm not," and "My parents are divorced, and every time I stay with one of them, I miss the other one." On the other hand, however, I'm a bit concerned that some of the scenarios might actually introduce fears that my daughter never considered before. For example, in the "I Don't Feel Safe" chapter, there were scenarios like, "I worry about school shootings," and "My house burned down last month, and I'm afraid our new house will burn down, too."
Along the same lines, I'm afraid the book might introduce some additional concepts that maybe my child isn't ready for. In the "I'm Really Sad" chapter, there is a section listing "Signs of Depression", and one of them is "think[ing] a lot about death or suicide". It does not define suicide, and I'm not even sure if my daughter knows what "suicide" is, but if she doesn't, I'm not sure if this is the best way to introduce it. Maybe it is, because it's safely confined in a book about emotions? I don't know. I need to think about it a some more while I decide whether or not to have my daughter read this book.
It might also be helpful for a parent previewing this book for a child to know that this book does mention the idea of "seeking professional help," going on to explain what therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists do.
Mostly, I'm disappointed that, despite touching upon embarrassment early in the book, there is no chapter titled, "I Feel Embarrassed." After anger, I feel like my daughter is most affected by unnecessary feelings of embarrassment.
Also, in the "I've Been Disrespected" chapter - which is basically about being bullied - I don't think the answers are entirely realistic. Of course it advocates using words to solve the problem, but it suggests saying things like, "I'd like to find a way for us to get along." I'm sorry, I just think that in the real world, if kids used language like that with a bully, it would be met with laughter and eye-rolling. I am all for having children work out their own problems, however, when it comes to bullying, I don't think this section emphasized enough the importance of letting the teacher know that bullying is occurring among classmates.
It's worth noting that this book briefly mentions PMS, so it's probably best read after a book like The Care & Keeping of You 1: The Body Book for Younger Girls, which introduces the concept of menstruation.
On the plus side, the book helps to normalize the many emotions a growing girl might be feeling. I like that it is explicit about how your emotions will affect your behavior, and your behavior will affect how other people react to you. You need to make sure you are exhibiting the actual emotions you feel; if you just act angry, other people - and yourself - won't understand or address the actual emotions you may be feeling, which may be embarrassment, disappointment, or shame.
The book has several chapters talking about emotions in general. Specific emotions are addressed in the following sections:
I'm Scared
I Feel Anxious
I'm So Jealous
I've Been Disrespected
I'm Angry
I'm Lonely
I'm Really Sad
I'm Grieving
I Don't Feel Safe
Much of the book is formatted like an advice column, with questions outlining particular scenarios and answers providing specific tips and strategies. In many ways, the Q & A format was a good thing, because it made a lot of the emotions seem relatable. There were common scenarios like, "I'm scared to sleep alone at night," "I'm jealous that my sister is in my cousin's wedding, but I'm not," and "My parents are divorced, and every time I stay with one of them, I miss the other one." On the other hand, however, I'm a bit concerned that some of the scenarios might actually introduce fears that my daughter never considered before. For example, in the "I Don't Feel Safe" chapter, there were scenarios like, "I worry about school shootings," and "My house burned down last month, and I'm afraid our new house will burn down, too."
Along the same lines, I'm afraid the book might introduce some additional concepts that maybe my child isn't ready for. In the "I'm Really Sad" chapter, there is a section listing "Signs of Depression", and one of them is "think[ing] a lot about death or suicide". It does not define suicide, and I'm not even sure if my daughter knows what "suicide" is, but if she doesn't, I'm not sure if this is the best way to introduce it. Maybe it is, because it's safely confined in a book about emotions? I don't know. I need to think about it a some more while I decide whether or not to have my daughter read this book.
It might also be helpful for a parent previewing this book for a child to know that this book does mention the idea of "seeking professional help," going on to explain what therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists do.
Mostly, I'm disappointed that, despite touching upon embarrassment early in the book, there is no chapter titled, "I Feel Embarrassed." After anger, I feel like my daughter is most affected by unnecessary feelings of embarrassment.
Also, in the "I've Been Disrespected" chapter - which is basically about being bullied - I don't think the answers are entirely realistic. Of course it advocates using words to solve the problem, but it suggests saying things like, "I'd like to find a way for us to get along." I'm sorry, I just think that in the real world, if kids used language like that with a bully, it would be met with laughter and eye-rolling. I am all for having children work out their own problems, however, when it comes to bullying, I don't think this section emphasized enough the importance of letting the teacher know that bullying is occurring among classmates.
January 17, 2011
It was preety funny because i was reading this when i accidently dropped it into the toilet, after just recieving it. My parents thought it was funny to ask "and how do you FEEL about that?" haha. very funny. anyways, i had to order a new one!
April 30, 2024
I love being told how to feel
January 19, 2022
I'd say this is a pretty good book for kids and pre-teens learning to deal with complex emotions. I really appreciate how it doesn't just brush away sadness and anger with boilerplate "go outside," "make a friend," "put on a smile," text. It adds the extremely valuable acknowledgement that sometimes depression and mental health issues exist, and it's important to seek help when we suspect something bigger might be going on.
I really like the Q&A format of this book, and how there are a variety of ideas for working through negative emotions. I also appreciate how the end turns it around, focuses on the positive, and asks the reader to help others dealing with negative emotions with their newly learned skills.
My only big criticism with this book is the same as with the "Care & Keeping of You Vol. 1," and that is it doesn't address any emotions dealing with gender or sexual identity. Honestly, this would have been an ideal book to fit those kinds of questions in - hiding emotion, sadness, anger, anxiousness, listening, safety, etc. Another missed opportunity for the book, but a good opportunity for discussion for any parent/guardian sharing this reading with the kiddos.
I really like the Q&A format of this book, and how there are a variety of ideas for working through negative emotions. I also appreciate how the end turns it around, focuses on the positive, and asks the reader to help others dealing with negative emotions with their newly learned skills.
My only big criticism with this book is the same as with the "Care & Keeping of You Vol. 1," and that is it doesn't address any emotions dealing with gender or sexual identity. Honestly, this would have been an ideal book to fit those kinds of questions in - hiding emotion, sadness, anger, anxiousness, listening, safety, etc. Another missed opportunity for the book, but a good opportunity for discussion for any parent/guardian sharing this reading with the kiddos.
March 23, 2025
Good introduction to tools that need to be discussed and then developed.
*Mentions PMS and depression, anxiety, suicide.
*Mentions PMS and depression, anxiety, suicide.
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March 13, 2015Embarrassingly enough, I read this as an adult, not a child. Good reminders for recognizing and analyzing feelings.
May 1, 2018
The American girl books are excellent for pubescent girls and their moms. I love how these books share the things my daughter needs to hear, but with an authority mom might not feel, and with scientific basis that truly helps our girls to face the changes in their lives.
January 12, 2015
I had to read this book before giving it to my daughter. Since our culture is different than the american culture, prior reading by one of the parents is important.
I found the book great for (pre-period) girls regardless of the culture or background of the reader. Of course, if this book is customized and rewritten for our culture it would definitely be outstanding and I would have given it 5 stars (or 4) depending on the quality of rewriting the book.
What I liked most about the book is the warmth and special relation between the author and the girl reading the book. It is really wonderful and amazing how the author made this relation so real through the conversations that took place in the whole book.
I think this book deserves 3.5 stars or maybe 4.
I found the book great for (pre-period) girls regardless of the culture or background of the reader. Of course, if this book is customized and rewritten for our culture it would definitely be outstanding and I would have given it 5 stars (or 4) depending on the quality of rewriting the book.
What I liked most about the book is the warmth and special relation between the author and the girl reading the book. It is really wonderful and amazing how the author made this relation so real through the conversations that took place in the whole book.
I think this book deserves 3.5 stars or maybe 4.
January 12, 2023
Good to teach others about basic emotional communication and how to control your emotions.
March 9, 2012
Here's the deal. Sometimes your child needs to hear the message from someone besides you. I have a pre teen who is emotionally charged. She finally agreed to read this book and guess what? She's already put in place a couple of strategies it suggests to help her identify and manage her emotions. And when asked if she learned anything new by reading it, she answered "It pretty much says everything you've said to me before." But NOW she's willing to try it :-)
That, my friends is a good, good thing.
That, my friends is a good, good thing.
May 1, 2019
Again, a vehicle for conversation with my daughter. It worked better than anticipated. We had conversations we might not have had. I shared some of my own experiences with her, and it seemed to normalize things. It's good for children to know that adults have similar issues/feelings/challenges, as children, in their lives. She was surprised by some of the book's more extreme examples of upset and emotional situations. We converse quite easily, share a lot with each other AND this book was a way to enhance our connection, widen the field of communication.
May 25, 2010
This book tells me a lot about my feelings. It can tell me lots of ways to control my feelings, too. I like everything in the book. I love the quiz in the back and I got all the answers right! After I read this book 10 times, I'm going to give it to somebody else that I love. My favorite chapter is "HELP!" There is nothing I didn't like.
By Emma, age 7
By Emma, age 7
July 1, 2010
This is one of my favorites of the American Girl Library. It teaches kids that any feeling is okay (even anger and sadness). It's how we deal with those emotions that count, and it gives helpful advice on recognizing the feeling, and what to do with it. Every adult needs to read this as a reminder.
October 11, 2008
even though this is kinda of meant for younger kids this actually helps me a lot!!! I can kind of relate to it at times! ha ha :-)
October 8, 2013
great book after I read it made feel so much better.
February 24, 2014
It is very useful not only for teenagers.
October 12, 2014
This is a great series for children and parents to read together.
December 26, 2020
The Feelings Boy: The Care and Keeping of Your Emotions is an American Girl Library book that guides readers to be better understand their feelings and how to manage them. The book explains how thoughts can influence your behaviour and offers tools to help manage your feelings and deal with them appropriately. Feelings such as grief, loneliness, sadness, anxiety, and fear, among others, are introduced and unpacked with clear examples.
The Feelings Book helps readers better understand their feelings and hone their emotional maturity. In my youth, though it sometimes felt like homework, I enjoyed the quizzes and interactive components. Though I like that there is diversity in the characters and the emotions are depicted generally, it isn't necessarily inclusive. Reading this again in 2020, there is a lack of cultural competency in the book whereby consideration of the unique way that people on the margins (racialized folk, religious minorities, members of the LGBTQI+ community, different abled people) aren't considered. For example, as a Black mixed race queer woman, I often talk about feeling unsafe in spaces. Under their description of feeling unsafe, however, instead of talking about how religious or racialized minorities might feel unsafe navigating a society that has stereotyped and vilified them, The Feelings Book gives examples of children who could feel unsafe because of terrorist attacks (as opposed to the section that they already covered on scared). It seems very much like this book was created to be equal but not equitable.
Given that this book was written in 2002, I imagine that there are a number of ways that the authors could and would update it in 2020 with renewed understanding of the importance of recognizing difference.
The Feelings Book helps readers better understand their feelings and hone their emotional maturity. In my youth, though it sometimes felt like homework, I enjoyed the quizzes and interactive components. Though I like that there is diversity in the characters and the emotions are depicted generally, it isn't necessarily inclusive. Reading this again in 2020, there is a lack of cultural competency in the book whereby consideration of the unique way that people on the margins (racialized folk, religious minorities, members of the LGBTQI+ community, different abled people) aren't considered. For example, as a Black mixed race queer woman, I often talk about feeling unsafe in spaces. Under their description of feeling unsafe, however, instead of talking about how religious or racialized minorities might feel unsafe navigating a society that has stereotyped and vilified them, The Feelings Book gives examples of children who could feel unsafe because of terrorist attacks (as opposed to the section that they already covered on scared). It seems very much like this book was created to be equal but not equitable.
Given that this book was written in 2002, I imagine that there are a number of ways that the authors could and would update it in 2020 with renewed understanding of the importance of recognizing difference.
July 24, 2019
This book is very ideal to have a little girl read. It provides such general skills and ideas on how to ensure a girl has the ability to rationalize her emotions in a healthy way. What I don't like about this book is how vague it is. It does provide such insights on every realties for a teen and child, but it doesn't provide the relevant understandings of why a girl would feel such way. I get that it's subjective, but I believe examples would have been nice to ensure the child is equipped with the exposure to address those realities when they are forced into dealing with them.
Nonetheless, a good book for a child, but I definitely believe more books on understanding feelings need to be addressed. Generally for basic mental health, and then for specific gender. Something simple and easily relative.
Nonetheless, a good book for a child, but I definitely believe more books on understanding feelings need to be addressed. Generally for basic mental health, and then for specific gender. Something simple and easily relative.
February 13, 2022
American girl does some nice books for young people about self-care. This one I didn't know quite what to expect, since emotions are such a broad subject. What I didn't expect was such a great introduction to understanding how your emotions work, and also how to guide your thinking, and eve know when you might need help if you're caught in a cycle of negativity or depression.
For me especially I appreciated this book. Being autistic, understand emotions can be very challenging. I wish I'd had a book like this when I was younger as I think it would have helped enormously.
But also, as a writer of self-help books for adults, I'm amazed at how solid this information is. Definitely some good material here, expressed in a way which young people can understand easily. Well done to the author and the editors at American Girl!
For me especially I appreciated this book. Being autistic, understand emotions can be very challenging. I wish I'd had a book like this when I was younger as I think it would have helped enormously.
But also, as a writer of self-help books for adults, I'm amazed at how solid this information is. Definitely some good material here, expressed in a way which young people can understand easily. Well done to the author and the editors at American Girl!
October 24, 2020
I love that there is a resource like this available to young kids. First and foremost parents need to be the onese teachimg social/emotional skills. But not all parents know how. This book is even a great start for parents to learn. Many emotions are covered briefly leaving room for more exploration with a parent or trusted adult.
I really like that this book also supports having children go to their parent (or guardian) about any of these feelings. Age appropriate for 10+. Perhaps as young as 8 depending on what your child has been exposed to. School shootings and suicide are touched on.
This book was well written for the young reader. I plan to go through this chapter by chapter with my child.
I really like that this book also supports having children go to their parent (or guardian) about any of these feelings. Age appropriate for 10+. Perhaps as young as 8 depending on what your child has been exposed to. School shootings and suicide are touched on.
This book was well written for the young reader. I plan to go through this chapter by chapter with my child.
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June 12, 2020This definitely benefits from sentimental nostalgia since I really relied on (and often reread) it in elementary/middle school, at which point in my life it was a valued resource.
So it doesn't seem very fair to rate it based on what I've since learned about mental health and myself, especially now that I've aged out of the target audience. My only note is that I wish it talked more about mental illness since they have a huge impact on emotions (there's a sidebar checklist of depression symptoms, but that's about it) — but I have no idea what the mental health field looked like in 2002, so I'm not condemning the absence or anything.
So it doesn't seem very fair to rate it based on what I've since learned about mental health and myself, especially now that I've aged out of the target audience. My only note is that I wish it talked more about mental illness since they have a huge impact on emotions (there's a sidebar checklist of depression symptoms, but that's about it) — but I have no idea what the mental health field looked like in 2002, so I'm not condemning the absence or anything.
August 27, 2022
This book shares accurate information and helpful guidance for girls who are navigating stormy emotions during puberty. I expected this to be appropriate for a wider age range and was somewhat surprised by all of the specific references to puberty, since the title didn't clearly indicate that this was for an older audience. However, even though this could have been more accessible and relevant to younger girls as well, there is a lot of great information here about the brain, psychology, and well-being.
December 7, 2018
Excellent book to read with my daughter. The book gave great information on dealing with feelings and how and who to express your feelings to when you are having a hard time. There were lots of examples in the book to support each chapter. I did feel that my daughter was a little young for some parts of the book (she is 6 years old), but much of it still applied to her age group. This book is perfect for the 8-12 age group.
September 9, 2019
A good book to have handy if you have a tween in the household. It goes over methods to recognize feelings and appropriate ways to handle them. Parents should probably read through it first to make sure that they agree with the methods, because raising a child is never one size fit all and some parents may not like the suggestions.
February 2, 2022
Overall, a great book that describes different feelings, gives relevant experiences of feelings (specific situations), normalized experiences, and uses CBT strategies to acknowledge and cope with different feelings.
April 22, 2018
Another great book for girls and young women hat will explain how they are feeling and what they are going through. Well written and easy to read.
May 6, 2018
definitely not written from a christian point of view.
August 4, 2018
I think this was good at helping me and my daughter identify different feelings and gave us a vocabulary to be able to talk about different things. Would really recommend it to read together.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 77 reviews