I love this book. I read it after having read James's Young Man's Friend and Guide Through Life to Immortality, which I'm afraid was rather a disappointment to me, not feeling particularly engaging. I feared this book might be similar, but much to my relief I found it was back to James at his best.
I would warmly commend it to men and women alike. If I had my way, this would be compulsory reading for practically everyone! It's good for the mature teenage men and women who are thinking about courting and want to prepare themselves for a future marriage, and for single young men who want to gain an idea what qualities they should be looking out for in a potential future spouse. Certainly in the circles I come from, this is a much neglected area of Christian teaching, and young people are pretty much left to their own natural inclinations when it comes to relationships.
I would also make it compulsory reading (along with James's 'Family Monitor - A Help to Domestic Happiness), for couples desiring to be married, and would refuse to allow people to marry who hadn't yet read it! Ideally such a book as this should be read well in advance of marriage, to allow the readers sufficient time to mature spiritually themselves, and to think seriously about what marriage is all about and what it entails. It's not merely about falling in love and living happily ever after, but committing to serve one another, and serve God together, for life. If a new couple desire to start out as they mean to go on, then they need advanced warning of what a godly family looks like so that from the moment they are married family worship and spiritual discipline can start, before bad habits are allowed to form, before neglect of these things becomes commonplace.
I've got feminist friends who would probably detest the idea of such a book as this, immediately fearing the worst, but liberals often rebuke the conservatives for judging things that they haven't tried for themselves, and if that were a justifiable argument, then in this case we could reverse the charge and say that liberals oughtn't to condemn such books as this without having read it first. And I would hope that whatever their feelings at the end of the day, they would like John Angell James and his gracious way in dealing with the subject. I would hope that all people would find the image he paints of marriage to be beautiful, and something worth striving for.
Many of the teachings for women are specifically applicable to men also, when it comes to personal piety. Where there are distinct roles, then it is useful for men to know exactly what it is fair to expect of their wives, and to see how the husbands and wives are meant to interact, how they are to divide their labours and responsibilities, and so live in harmony and have a household run with the greatest efficiency possible without either party trampling upon the authority of the other in their own respective roles and spheres. It's all very well giving men a book about how they are to behave in marriage, and give a separate book to women, but unless they see clearly what they can expect of each other, or what their duties are towards one another, see how their roles complement one another and fit together, you could end up with two people trying to always do things their own way with little consideration for what their spouse may be trying to achieve. They have their own responsibilities to fulfil, but also have to assist their spouses as they seek to fulfil their own responsibilities. It's good for the men to have an insight into what their wives are hoping to achieve in marriage. A couple who studied this book together would learn and grow together as they sought to make their married life as great a pleasure and blessing to one another as possible, unified in mind and spirit, and together glorifying God.
Parents might find great help in this book when it comes to teaching and training their children, giving them guidance as to what attitudes and principles they should be trying to instil into their children to raise them into young men and women who are as prepared for marriage as possible, who are mature enough to form appropriate attachments and behave in a seemly manner both before and after marriage.
Pastors ought to be made aware of this book. They could use it as a basis for their own course of sermons, or they could make sure they had a copy to spare which they could readily lend out to any people in their congregation who they felt could benefit from it.
John Angell James, as is usual, speaks in a lively and engaging manner, full of feeling, full of compassion and consideration, and full of wisdom and plain common sense, and practical in the extreme, and all based on sound principles.
I'll close with a quote from the opening paragraph of the book:
"Woman is the mother of the human race; our companion, counsellor, and comforter in the pilgrimage of life; or our tempter, scourge, and destroyer. Our sweetest cup of earthly happiness, or our bitterest draught of sorrow, is mixed and administered by her hand. She not only renders smooth or rough our path to the grave, but helps or hinders our progress to immortality. In heaven we shall bless God for her aid in assisting us to reach that blissful state; or amidst the torments of unutterable woe in another region, we shall deplore the fatality of her influence."