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My Wounded Heart: The Life of Lilli Jahn, 1900-1944
A series of letters offer an incredible and tragic insight into the life of an ordinary Jewish woman under persecution in the Nazi regime. This is the heart-breaking story of a gifted Jewish doctor, the mother of five children, who, after being divorced by her Aryan husband, is arrested on an absurd charge and sent to a corrective labor camp in 1942. Lilli was a prolific letter writer and miraculously almost all her letters to her children and friends, together with a huge number of their letters to her (smuggled out of the camp at Breitenau before she was sent to Auschwitz), survived World War II and only came to light on the death of her son in 1998. In the letters and in Martin Doerry’s superb commentary, we see the deterioration of a whole country through the eyes of an ordinary family driven asunder by pressure from the Nazi regime. We see Lilli’s initial optimism and love of her husband begin to crack. We see her trying to support and run the family home from Breitenau camp, but relying totally on her 12-year-old daughter, Ilse. And we see the difficulties for the children of living with their father's mistress, now his wife, after a bombing raid destroys the family home. And perhaps most moving of all, we see Ilse’s heroic attempts to meet her mother, even though it means going into the labor camp itself, and Lilli’s courage in the face of her inevitable end.
288 pages, Hardcover
First published August 12, 2002
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217 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
February 21, 2016
I know that I will get the entire world against me when I say that this is much more touching and gripping than Anne Frank's diary. This is a very tragic story about the educated Jewish woman Lilli that falls in love or rather, becomes infatuated with a man that never learns to appreciate her.
She does everything for this man and how is she repaid? He goes off on vacations on his own, starts an affair with an Aryan woman that Lilli has welcomed in to her home. He has the woman move in to their home and forces Lilli, the doctor, to deliver his mistress' baby. As if these things are not terrible to read about, how a strong intellectual woman and doctor, lets her husband totally step on her and crush her, then more terrible things are to be read when the German Third Reich does everything to crush her. Her husband could have remained married to her and saved her from the ghastly fate that was to follow, but he chose divorce and marriage to his mistress instead. It meant concentration camp for his Lilli. And while the law said that she should have been released after a short time, somehow, in her case, the law was bent so that she got to stay till she could be deported to an extermination camp.
It's the story of a woman that loved her husband till the end and refused to see the truth about him. It's the story that loved her children and worried herself sick about them. Till the end she hoped that they, someone, would be able to get her out. It's the story of a man, that cares nothing for his children. They get bombed out in their flat with their mother and still he does not lift a finger. And when his ex is finally put in a camp, and he is forced to take in his half-Jewish (according to Nazi view) children, they have to take care of themselves even though they are clearly not old enough to do so. They have to keep home in one part of the house, while the dad, new wife and child, lives in the rest of the house.
The book is nauseating. You get frustrated. Angry. Your feelings boil! Revenge for Lilli is still in my mind months after I finished the book. How could she have got treated in this manner!!!! And her hope that never died. How betrayed she got. She and all her friends and family that thought her husband would come through and help. Here is a book of something that could have been prevented!
She does everything for this man and how is she repaid? He goes off on vacations on his own, starts an affair with an Aryan woman that Lilli has welcomed in to her home. He has the woman move in to their home and forces Lilli, the doctor, to deliver his mistress' baby. As if these things are not terrible to read about, how a strong intellectual woman and doctor, lets her husband totally step on her and crush her, then more terrible things are to be read when the German Third Reich does everything to crush her. Her husband could have remained married to her and saved her from the ghastly fate that was to follow, but he chose divorce and marriage to his mistress instead. It meant concentration camp for his Lilli. And while the law said that she should have been released after a short time, somehow, in her case, the law was bent so that she got to stay till she could be deported to an extermination camp.
It's the story of a woman that loved her husband till the end and refused to see the truth about him. It's the story that loved her children and worried herself sick about them. Till the end she hoped that they, someone, would be able to get her out. It's the story of a man, that cares nothing for his children. They get bombed out in their flat with their mother and still he does not lift a finger. And when his ex is finally put in a camp, and he is forced to take in his half-Jewish (according to Nazi view) children, they have to take care of themselves even though they are clearly not old enough to do so. They have to keep home in one part of the house, while the dad, new wife and child, lives in the rest of the house.
The book is nauseating. You get frustrated. Angry. Your feelings boil! Revenge for Lilli is still in my mind months after I finished the book. How could she have got treated in this manner!!!! And her hope that never died. How betrayed she got. She and all her friends and family that thought her husband would come through and help. Here is a book of something that could have been prevented!
July 5, 2024
לסקירה מפורטת בעברית, קישור לבלוג שלי -
https://sivi-the-avid-reader.com/לבי-...
https://sivi-the-avid-reader.com/לבי-...
November 2, 2023
Ein Buch was man gelesen haben muss wenn man etwas über diese Zeit wissen möchte!
February 11, 2019
Great Heart Wrenching Story
I think it's important for the victims to have their story told and read when ever possible to understand the horror and trauma they suffered; elst history will repeat itself, and already has. It is so moving that the letters of this poor woman survived to tell the tale if the real experiences she suffered everyday. Without real written letters such as this, we would have no record of these people and their stories would not be told, believed, or remembered.
I think it's important for the victims to have their story told and read when ever possible to understand the horror and trauma they suffered; elst history will repeat itself, and already has. It is so moving that the letters of this poor woman survived to tell the tale if the real experiences she suffered everyday. Without real written letters such as this, we would have no record of these people and their stories would not be told, believed, or remembered.
June 5, 2022
Such a sad book to read reminded me of the way Ann e frank with her letters and the story of there lives during the war and the fate at the end
January 5, 2023
I normally stay well clear of books about the Holocaust; I find it difficult to keep a positive outlook on life and humanity as a whole every time I have to confront the everyday callous evil millions of people perpetrated, apparently without thought or shame. It’s easy to point at the big characters in history, the Hitlers and Goebbels, as the reason for this unimaginable breakdown of all things good in the world, but I think books like this show that “normal” people are just as much to blame - the priest who abandons Lilli and her husband literally at the first chance he gets (in the early 30s, at a time when it wasn’t like he would’ve had to fear physical consequences), the mayor who wants to get rid of the only Jewish person left in his village by all means necessary.
The worst person in this book however is a man who would’ve been a grade A asshole whatever time he would’ve been born in: Lilli’s husband. I’ll try not to talk myself into a rage, but I honestly think I’ve never heard or read about a worse person before in my life. To think Lilli could’ve been saved if he’d just been the tiniest bit less of a shithead… well, all I can say I hope it haunted him on his deathbed, but I doubt people like that are really capable of feeling shame or self doubt.
The author of this book is Lilli’s grandson and as he published it while Lilli’s daughters were still living, he probably held off on editorialising or any deeper investigation, which I can understand; however I think that as most of them have since died, he should’ve done that work and added it. What happened to the Belgian forced labourer that was living with them, and when did the children realise that’s what she was? Did Lilli’s husband ever actually put in a request to the Gestapo for her release or did he lie about that? Who helped Lilli smuggle out her letters in the end and how did she actually die in Auschwitz? Would he have been able to find any fellow inmates (or guards) who met Lilli at Breitenau labour camp? It would’ve been nice to get more insight into that part of the story considering Lilli’s letters to her children during that time were heavily censored.
Still, even without it this was a tough and heart rendering read.
The love Lilli and her children have for each other is so deep it’s gut wrenching, and you can feel it in every letter they sent to each other. In my naive dreams Lilli and her children get to live in a big city, where she can work as a doctor like she was meant to and where she can go to the classical concerts and philosophical discussions she so loved. Lilli simply deserved so much better.
The worst person in this book however is a man who would’ve been a grade A asshole whatever time he would’ve been born in: Lilli’s husband. I’ll try not to talk myself into a rage, but I honestly think I’ve never heard or read about a worse person before in my life. To think Lilli could’ve been saved if he’d just been the tiniest bit less of a shithead… well, all I can say I hope it haunted him on his deathbed, but I doubt people like that are really capable of feeling shame or self doubt.
The author of this book is Lilli’s grandson and as he published it while Lilli’s daughters were still living, he probably held off on editorialising or any deeper investigation, which I can understand; however I think that as most of them have since died, he should’ve done that work and added it. What happened to the Belgian forced labourer that was living with them, and when did the children realise that’s what she was? Did Lilli’s husband ever actually put in a request to the Gestapo for her release or did he lie about that? Who helped Lilli smuggle out her letters in the end and how did she actually die in Auschwitz? Would he have been able to find any fellow inmates (or guards) who met Lilli at Breitenau labour camp? It would’ve been nice to get more insight into that part of the story considering Lilli’s letters to her children during that time were heavily censored.
Still, even without it this was a tough and heart rendering read.
The love Lilli and her children have for each other is so deep it’s gut wrenching, and you can feel it in every letter they sent to each other. In my naive dreams Lilli and her children get to live in a big city, where she can work as a doctor like she was meant to and where she can go to the classical concerts and philosophical discussions she so loved. Lilli simply deserved so much better.
October 6, 2020
Diep triest, maar noodzakelijk om een keer gelezen te hebben. Door de brieven en verhalen van dit gezin heen lees je over hoop en ambitie voor na de oorlog, maar je weet hoe het gaat eindigen. Dit is voor mij de eerste keer dat ik vanuit een Duits perspectief een boek over de tweede wereldoorlog lees. Het is belangrijk om het perspectief van een Duits-Joods gezin te hebben gezien.
Lilly komt over als iemand die te lief is, en daarom in problemen komt waar ze niet in had hoeven zijn. Als ze niet zo meegaand en gehoorzaam was geweest aan haar man zouden de dingen heel anders hebben kunnen verlopen, maarja... het waren andere tijden.
Ik leefde zo mee met de kinderen en met Lilly en kreeg elke pagina een grotere hekel aan de vader van het gezin die passief was en vol zelfmedelijden zat terwijl hij het minste te lijden had en het meest te lijden gaf aan anderen. Hij liet verdorie zijn maitresse bij zijn vrouw in huis wonen! Lilly moest de maitresse helpen bij de bevalling van het kind van haar man! Ongelovelijk hoe idioot en diep pijnlijk die situatie moest zijn geweest. Vervolgens stond ze helemaal alleen want niemand wilde nog met Joden omgaan. Lilly vereenzaamde en vervolgens door de scheiding met haar man kwam ze in een concentratiekamp terecht.
Ik heb met gegrepen hart gelezen! Het is geen makkelijke lektuur en het leest niet vlot, zo nu en dan is het echt wat saai. Maar ik ben heel blij dat ik dit gelezen heb, het werkt blikverruimend.
Lilly komt over als iemand die te lief is, en daarom in problemen komt waar ze niet in had hoeven zijn. Als ze niet zo meegaand en gehoorzaam was geweest aan haar man zouden de dingen heel anders hebben kunnen verlopen, maarja... het waren andere tijden.
Ik leefde zo mee met de kinderen en met Lilly en kreeg elke pagina een grotere hekel aan de vader van het gezin die passief was en vol zelfmedelijden zat terwijl hij het minste te lijden had en het meest te lijden gaf aan anderen. Hij liet verdorie zijn maitresse bij zijn vrouw in huis wonen! Lilly moest de maitresse helpen bij de bevalling van het kind van haar man! Ongelovelijk hoe idioot en diep pijnlijk die situatie moest zijn geweest. Vervolgens stond ze helemaal alleen want niemand wilde nog met Joden omgaan. Lilly vereenzaamde en vervolgens door de scheiding met haar man kwam ze in een concentratiekamp terecht.
Ik heb met gegrepen hart gelezen! Het is geen makkelijke lektuur en het leest niet vlot, zo nu en dan is het echt wat saai. Maar ik ben heel blij dat ik dit gelezen heb, het werkt blikverruimend.
May 19, 2021
My God... what a heart wrenching book.
You cannot get any more honest than letters between a child and a parent.
My eyes tear up even thinking about what Lilli Jahn and her children endured.
We must not forget about these crimes against humanity.
You cannot get any more honest than letters between a child and a parent.
My eyes tear up even thinking about what Lilli Jahn and her children endured.
We must not forget about these crimes against humanity.
May 20, 2021
Zutiefst ergreifend. Ich finde keine Worte.
March 14, 2023
Richtig: Mein verwundetes Herz (!)
Das Schicksal einer jüdischen Mutter und Ärztin in dunkelster Zeit: tief bewegend, sehr persönlich, es hat mich lange nicht losgelassen, vom Enkel geschrieben.
Das Schicksal einer jüdischen Mutter und Ärztin in dunkelster Zeit: tief bewegend, sehr persönlich, es hat mich lange nicht losgelassen, vom Enkel geschrieben.
March 29, 2023
Ein erschütterndes und bewegendes Buch. Jede/r sollte das eigentlich gelesen haben…
July 1, 2016
"Durante o dia Ilse ainda se distraía em grande medida com a sua tarefa de mãe substituta, mas de noite sentia cada vez mais medo pelo futuro da mãe. Foi o sucedeu a 12 de Fevereiro:
"Agora tenho finalmente sossego. As três estão a dormir. Daqui a nada também vou para a cama. Mas primeiro vou à janela e olho na direcção de Breitenau, onde tu estás? Quando virá o dia? Como estarás? E 100 perguntas e pensamentos semelhantes rodopiam na minha cabeça. De noite, quando não consigo dormir, penso em ti. Nós os cinco, também a pequena Dorle, nunca te esquecemos... Até amanhã à noite.""
"Agora tenho finalmente sossego. As três estão a dormir. Daqui a nada também vou para a cama. Mas primeiro vou à janela e olho na direcção de Breitenau, onde tu estás? Quando virá o dia? Como estarás? E 100 perguntas e pensamentos semelhantes rodopiam na minha cabeça. De noite, quando não consigo dormir, penso em ti. Nós os cinco, também a pequena Dorle, nunca te esquecemos... Até amanhã à noite.""
January 14, 2015
3.5 stars. This is a unique biography about a Jewish woman, Lilli, married to a non-Jewish man and imprisoned by the Nazi regime. The book is centered about over 300 preserved letters between she and her children during her imprisonment. Through the correspondence we see what life was really like for this family living without their mother during the war, attempting to maintain a normal life revolving around rations and air raids, as well as the impact on Lilli of anti-Semitic laws and eventual imprisonment.
December 15, 2014
I'm very interested in books, stories related to the Second World War. This is a heart-breaking story of a Jewish woman mother of five whose husband divorced her and left her in the hands of the nazis. She was sent to a labor camp where she managed to write letters to her children.
August 14, 2014
Letters are quite heart rending.... In few places Lilli pouts about her life in a small town during anti semitism although she was desperate to have a peaceful and happy married life but her strong determination and caring attitude towards her family really makes her story unique.
January 5, 2009
Collection of letters very informative about Germany in 1930s showing everyday life of Lilli, a Jewish doctor, her husband - a physician, and their kids. Moving thing - love and death.
December 30, 2015
Again, it is very hard to rate and review such a tragic and true story. It was very informative about some of the conditions endured by both German Jews and non-Jews.
March 3, 2014
Amazing the histories that can be preserved.
April 23, 2014
Very interesting and moving book
June 12, 2015
It was a great read but sad. It definitely showed a lot of emotion.
March 14, 2016
What truly loved was the humanity it put to a part of history we all need to dehumanize to deal with it.
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews