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Real Love and Post-Childhood Stress Disorder - Treating Your Unrecognized Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
This is a previously-published edition of ISBN 978-1-892319-37-1. Real Love and PCSD (Post-Childhood Stress Disorder)
Treating Your Unrecognized PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)
Have you ever wondered why
you have difficulty maintaining close, intimate, fulfilling relationships?
you easily get angry at other people and blame them for how you feel?
you tend to over-react to inconveniences and injustices?
you often feel alone?
you tend to avoid people?
you sometimes—or frequently—use alcohol or drugs to “take the edge off” the tension you feel?
you have a strong need to be “right” and win arguments or discussions?
you have a temper?
you are often mystified by the behavior of other people? Do you often wonder, “Why in the world did he/she/they do that?”
you often have difficulty understanding why you feel as you do?
the people around you—spouse, lover, children, coworkers—sometimes seem to avoid you?
your reactions to some situations—fear, pain, anger, withdrawal—sometimes seem out of proportion to the event itself?
you use your intellect, physical appearance, competence, accomplishments, wit, money, or other assets to get other people to pay attention to you?
you often feel hurt by what other people do to you? Or by what they fail to do for you?
the people around you often seem intimidated or irritated when you interact with them?
If you are like roughly 98% of us, your answer to two or more of these questions is YES, and you’re confused about exactly why these conditions exist in your life. Anger, frustration, and loneliness are the most destructive diseases on the planet—by far—and we are not adequately addressing their causes and solutions.
Finally—in Real Love and PCSD—we can learn about why we’re angry and lonely, along with the real reasons we have relationship problems. And we can learn to actually eliminate these conditions.
After a severely traumatic event or series of events—war, rape, physical assault, and so on—many people are negatively affected emotionally and physically for months and years. They experience anxiety, intrusive and distressing memories, anger, exaggerated reactions to events and people, difficulty with relationships, emotional detachment, and a restructuring of long-held beliefs about self, other people, and the world. The diagnosis of PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) is applied to such people, and then we feel compassion for them, rather than irritation at the inconvenience their symptoms often cause.
Nearly all of us suffer from a form of PTSD that is almost entirely unrecognized in the world: It’s post-childhood stress disorder—or PCSD. In order to be happy, what every child needs more than anything else is to feel enough unconditional love—or Real Love—and the lack of this love is actually traumatic to their souls. Each moment that a child is not unconditionally loved is a kind of “mini-trauma,” and these accumulate to cause profound distortions in the way the child sees himself, other people, and the world—both in childhood and later as an adult. Regrettably, these wounds are inflicted every day on most children, and parents are quite unaware of how they’re causing this trauma.
PCSD is the most common—and the most destructive—problem in the world, so we must begin to recognize it and learn what we can do about it. As we do this—as we study the principles in Real Love and PCSD—we can learn to find inexpressible happiness in our own lives and begin to help others to do the same.
Treating Your Unrecognized PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)
Have you ever wondered why
you have difficulty maintaining close, intimate, fulfilling relationships?
you easily get angry at other people and blame them for how you feel?
you tend to over-react to inconveniences and injustices?
you often feel alone?
you tend to avoid people?
you sometimes—or frequently—use alcohol or drugs to “take the edge off” the tension you feel?
you have a strong need to be “right” and win arguments or discussions?
you have a temper?
you are often mystified by the behavior of other people? Do you often wonder, “Why in the world did he/she/they do that?”
you often have difficulty understanding why you feel as you do?
the people around you—spouse, lover, children, coworkers—sometimes seem to avoid you?
your reactions to some situations—fear, pain, anger, withdrawal—sometimes seem out of proportion to the event itself?
you use your intellect, physical appearance, competence, accomplishments, wit, money, or other assets to get other people to pay attention to you?
you often feel hurt by what other people do to you? Or by what they fail to do for you?
the people around you often seem intimidated or irritated when you interact with them?
If you are like roughly 98% of us, your answer to two or more of these questions is YES, and you’re confused about exactly why these conditions exist in your life. Anger, frustration, and loneliness are the most destructive diseases on the planet—by far—and we are not adequately addressing their causes and solutions.
Finally—in Real Love and PCSD—we can learn about why we’re angry and lonely, along with the real reasons we have relationship problems. And we can learn to actually eliminate these conditions.
After a severely traumatic event or series of events—war, rape, physical assault, and so on—many people are negatively affected emotionally and physically for months and years. They experience anxiety, intrusive and distressing memories, anger, exaggerated reactions to events and people, difficulty with relationships, emotional detachment, and a restructuring of long-held beliefs about self, other people, and the world. The diagnosis of PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) is applied to such people, and then we feel compassion for them, rather than irritation at the inconvenience their symptoms often cause.
Nearly all of us suffer from a form of PTSD that is almost entirely unrecognized in the world: It’s post-childhood stress disorder—or PCSD. In order to be happy, what every child needs more than anything else is to feel enough unconditional love—or Real Love—and the lack of this love is actually traumatic to their souls. Each moment that a child is not unconditionally loved is a kind of “mini-trauma,” and these accumulate to cause profound distortions in the way the child sees himself, other people, and the world—both in childhood and later as an adult. Regrettably, these wounds are inflicted every day on most children, and parents are quite unaware of how they’re causing this trauma.
PCSD is the most common—and the most destructive—problem in the world, so we must begin to recognize it and learn what we can do about it. As we do this—as we study the principles in Real Love and PCSD—we can learn to find inexpressible happiness in our own lives and begin to help others to do the same.
365 pages, ebook
First published March 1, 2010
20 people are currently reading
97 people want to read
About the author
Greg Baer
28 books19 followersFor twenty years, Greg Baer, M.D. was a highly successful surgeon, teacher, civic leader, and entrepreneur. But despite all his accomplishments, wealth, and respect, he felt empty and unhappy. He became a drug addict and nearly committed suicide. In his subsequent search for genuine happiness, he learned some principles that have changed the lives of hundreds of thousands. After Dr. Baer retired from one of the busiest solo eye surgery practices in the United States, he began a new career of writing, teaching, and speaking. He has so far written 17 books about relationships, marriage, and parenting, which have been translated into multiple languages, and published worldwide; produced the three-CD audio series, The Truth About Love and Lies; produced the six-DVD set (with Workbook) The Essentials of Real Love; produced the PBS television special, Real Answers, viewed nationwide; appeared on over 1500 radio and television programs from coast to coast in the United States; counseled personally with thousands of individuals and couples, profoundly changing their lives with the principles and power of Real Love; written thousands of blogs; conducted over 300 seminars and corporate trainings and delivered speeches to audiences around the world where he has taught the principles of Real Love; and developed a comprehensive website that offers Real Love education through video coaching, thousands of blogs, weekly video chats, support forums, and much more. An extensive Master Index is conveniently available to help you navigate through these resources. Dr. Baer and his wife, Donna, are the parents of seven children and live in Rome, Georgia.
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
July 12, 2020
I find myself quite disturbed by this book.
While the beginning of the book resonates with me in terms of the impact of growing in an unloving environment, after a 3rd of the book it all gets very confusing.
It becomes very confusing, mixing insanely long bullet points list with very long extracts from conversations, with a lot of repetition. Very difficult to extract the theory, from the example, from the opinion of the author.
After half the book, it feels like it becomes all about promoting the concept of real love and deconstructing the value of therapy treatments and the skills of therapists - all I hear is what others people do is bad, I have the one true solution.
But if there is something that really bothers me, is that the author seems to assume that “real love” can only be found externally and as such, there is a very leading approach to “teaching real love”. I find this dangerous as this may have the side effect of creating dependence from a vulnerable person.
It is teaching to find love in external sources rather than within oneself.
There are much more helpful books around dealing with the scars of an unloving childhood, such as:
- Overcoming Low self esteem by Melanie Fennell
- Toxic Parents by Susan Forward
- the untethered soul by Michael singer
... which I would rather recommend to explore such a topic.
While the beginning of the book resonates with me in terms of the impact of growing in an unloving environment, after a 3rd of the book it all gets very confusing.
It becomes very confusing, mixing insanely long bullet points list with very long extracts from conversations, with a lot of repetition. Very difficult to extract the theory, from the example, from the opinion of the author.
After half the book, it feels like it becomes all about promoting the concept of real love and deconstructing the value of therapy treatments and the skills of therapists - all I hear is what others people do is bad, I have the one true solution.
But if there is something that really bothers me, is that the author seems to assume that “real love” can only be found externally and as such, there is a very leading approach to “teaching real love”. I find this dangerous as this may have the side effect of creating dependence from a vulnerable person.
It is teaching to find love in external sources rather than within oneself.
There are much more helpful books around dealing with the scars of an unloving childhood, such as:
- Overcoming Low self esteem by Melanie Fennell
- Toxic Parents by Susan Forward
- the untethered soul by Michael singer
... which I would rather recommend to explore such a topic.
May 30, 2017
Topic Rarely Discussed
Baer very clearly explains post-childhood stress disorder and the similarities to post -traumatic stress disorder. His description and examples gave me much to think about, including being more compassionate to others and to myself.
Baer very clearly explains post-childhood stress disorder and the similarities to post -traumatic stress disorder. His description and examples gave me much to think about, including being more compassionate to others and to myself.
January 1, 2023
Overall excellent, I'd say the best, most thorough, and most relevant out of all the Real Love books I've read.
October 15, 2023
Too long, very repetitive. Which is a shame, because it has some good ideas and advice in it.
March 4, 2017
I found the info in this book VERY helpful. The first half goes quite in to depth defining PCSD and PTSD and might have been hard to get through if I hadn't already read the first Real Love book.
November 5, 2021
What an eye-opener
I am flabbergasted at how insightful Greg has been with this piece.
It's simply insightful to the point of being 100% explanatory about why we have the challenges we do.
I am flabbergasted at how insightful Greg has been with this piece.
It's simply insightful to the point of being 100% explanatory about why we have the challenges we do.
October 2, 2018
very good book. Explains a lot and makes sense. I want to read more books by this author.
January 29, 2021
Great Information
If really want to learn what unconditional love is and how to be released from the pain that causes you to be unhappy, read this book.
If really want to learn what unconditional love is and how to be released from the pain that causes you to be unhappy, read this book.
April 19, 2018
I am guarded in my feelings about this book as I'm very mindful of the Real Love® sales pitch. Throughout the book the trade mark appears constantly with its capital R and capital L.
In chapter 7 it even asks if we're "willing to do whatever it takes to be much much happier?" (paraphrased) followed by suggested Real Love® products.
Despite the sales the book does provoke good thoughts and I feel it would be especially helpful for parents. I enjoyed the drowning man metaphor, showing how quickly our feelings can change.
In chapter 7 it even asks if we're "willing to do whatever it takes to be much much happier?" (paraphrased) followed by suggested Real Love® products.
Despite the sales the book does provoke good thoughts and I feel it would be especially helpful for parents. I enjoyed the drowning man metaphor, showing how quickly our feelings can change.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews