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Make Sure You Die Screaming
An electrifying debut about a nonbinary corporate burnout embarking on a road trip from Chicago to Arkansas to find their conspiracy-theorist father, who has gone missing—for fans of Detransition Baby and Chain-Gang All-Stars
When their mother calls with news that their MAGA-loving, conspiracy-theorist father has gone missing, the newly unemployed genderqueer narrator of Make Sure You Die Screaming does what anyone would do: steals their ex-boyfriend’s BMW and races from Chicago to deep-red Arkansas on a mission to kidnap their estranged father and bring him home.
Now, with a bottle of premixed margarita jiggling in the cupholder and the narrator’s brand-new garbage goth bestie, Yivi, screaming through night terrors in the passenger seat, our hero hurtles toward a family reunion from hell. Along the way, they experiment with Yivi’s mystery pills, elude a relentless stalker, and outrun some cops who believe the narrator has committed a tragic murder.
An unflinching interrogation of class rage, economic (im)mobility, gender expression, the rot at the heart of capitalism, and the political bloodbath dividing so many American families, Make Sure You Die Screaming is the loud, funny, suspenseful road trip novel of our times.
When their mother calls with news that their MAGA-loving, conspiracy-theorist father has gone missing, the newly unemployed genderqueer narrator of Make Sure You Die Screaming does what anyone would do: steals their ex-boyfriend’s BMW and races from Chicago to deep-red Arkansas on a mission to kidnap their estranged father and bring him home.
Now, with a bottle of premixed margarita jiggling in the cupholder and the narrator’s brand-new garbage goth bestie, Yivi, screaming through night terrors in the passenger seat, our hero hurtles toward a family reunion from hell. Along the way, they experiment with Yivi’s mystery pills, elude a relentless stalker, and outrun some cops who believe the narrator has committed a tragic murder.
An unflinching interrogation of class rage, economic (im)mobility, gender expression, the rot at the heart of capitalism, and the political bloodbath dividing so many American families, Make Sure You Die Screaming is the loud, funny, suspenseful road trip novel of our times.
218 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 8, 2025
77 people are currently reading
16010 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 497 reviews
April 16, 2025
Oh man, I love an unhinged story. Give me all the crazines please! This one is definitely not for everyone, since it dives into some pretty heavy political opinions throughout. Personally, I wasn’t offended by any of it. I actually really enjoyed this wild ride with the MC as he tries to piece together everything in his life that’s shaped who he is. I couldn’t stand some of his choices, and we don’t exactly see a full-on transformation by the end. But there’s definitely the beginning of one. It was a quick, eccentric read, and I’m glad I picked it up for something a little out of the ordinary.
April 16, 2025
4 stars - a quick & crazy “Fever Dream” road trip with a gender-queer, unemployed, alcoholic and their addict “garbage goth” manic-pixie companion who are traveling from the Windy City to rural Arkansas looking for a missing conspiracy-addled parent. It was really kinda crazy & I also kinda liked it a whole lot, a really strong and good debut!
January 17, 2025
3.5 stars rounded up. "Be gay, do crimes," substance abuse and mental breakdowns are romanticized in queer culture, but it doesn't always make them interesting to read about. Those were, however, the vibes of the book.
Make Sure You Die Screaming was a short, frenetic read following a wild trip (literally, they're both drug-addled drunks) as the unnamed newly out genderfluid, pansexual (I think, it was never explicitly stated, but I really wish people would say bisexual or pansexual in the text instead of making us guess, an irritation from this bisexual, but I digress) narrator escapes Chicago in their abusive ex-boyfriend's stolen car to travel to Arkansas with their young friend who's hiding secrets to find their missing, estranged father. Along the way, the unnamed narrator is grieving their dead best friend from their fancy corporate advertising job that they quit/were fired from in a violent outburst.
Despite these dark themes and the relentless pace, this book also was quite cozy with low stakes and not much happened. It almost reminded me of a sitcom with the prose and interiority of a literary novel. I found myself getting bored at times because I don't glorify glitterpunk addicts who do crime as a side hustle. But the narrator is a morally gray anti-hero on a quest for radical honesty who is nevertheless a good person despite their fuckups and glorified rudeness, so that made them interesting.
I also appreciated seeing the representation of an AMAB nonbinary person coming to a gender awakening as they're tearing themselves out of the gender binary after being forced to include their pronouns in their email signature at work and getting confused, thus setting off their current exploration. I've only ever read AFAB nonbinary characters and sometimes I think people have the misconception that being nonbinary is just woman lite. It's not. (like that annoying allegedly inclusive phrase "women and nonbinary people"...)
This reminded me quite a bit of the dark, weird absurdity of Chuck Palahniuk or Melissa Broder, particularly her work Death Valley. It just kept getting weirder and weirder as the unnamed narrator lost their mind in the weirdness of rural Arkansas. It was kind of shallow in exploring the ways that intelligent people who vote for Democratic candidates become radicalized into far-right ideologies, treating them like parodies in a way, but appropriate for what this novel was trying to do. It wasn't trying to philosophize the narrator's break from their dad or their dad's break from mainstream society, they were just along for this crazy ride.
In the end not much really changed but that's also life too. It ended on a sort of hopeful note but I wasn't sure if the narrator would be okay, figure out their gender or wanted to sober up, but this was a slice of life into their zany mental breakdown. I do hope they'll be okay, because they seemed like a good person who made some terrible choices.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the advance review copy. I am leaving this review voluntarily.
Make Sure You Die Screaming was a short, frenetic read following a wild trip (literally, they're both drug-addled drunks) as the unnamed newly out genderfluid, pansexual (I think, it was never explicitly stated, but I really wish people would say bisexual or pansexual in the text instead of making us guess, an irritation from this bisexual, but I digress) narrator escapes Chicago in their abusive ex-boyfriend's stolen car to travel to Arkansas with their young friend who's hiding secrets to find their missing, estranged father. Along the way, the unnamed narrator is grieving their dead best friend from their fancy corporate advertising job that they quit/were fired from in a violent outburst.
Despite these dark themes and the relentless pace, this book also was quite cozy with low stakes and not much happened. It almost reminded me of a sitcom with the prose and interiority of a literary novel. I found myself getting bored at times because I don't glorify glitterpunk addicts who do crime as a side hustle. But the narrator is a morally gray anti-hero on a quest for radical honesty who is nevertheless a good person despite their fuckups and glorified rudeness, so that made them interesting.
I also appreciated seeing the representation of an AMAB nonbinary person coming to a gender awakening as they're tearing themselves out of the gender binary after being forced to include their pronouns in their email signature at work and getting confused, thus setting off their current exploration. I've only ever read AFAB nonbinary characters and sometimes I think people have the misconception that being nonbinary is just woman lite. It's not. (like that annoying allegedly inclusive phrase "women and nonbinary people"...)
This reminded me quite a bit of the dark, weird absurdity of Chuck Palahniuk or Melissa Broder, particularly her work Death Valley. It just kept getting weirder and weirder as the unnamed narrator lost their mind in the weirdness of rural Arkansas. It was kind of shallow in exploring the ways that intelligent people who vote for Democratic candidates become radicalized into far-right ideologies, treating them like parodies in a way, but appropriate for what this novel was trying to do. It wasn't trying to philosophize the narrator's break from their dad or their dad's break from mainstream society, they were just along for this crazy ride.
In the end not much really changed but that's also life too. It ended on a sort of hopeful note but I wasn't sure if the narrator would be okay, figure out their gender or wanted to sober up, but this was a slice of life into their zany mental breakdown. I do hope they'll be okay, because they seemed like a good person who made some terrible choices.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the advance review copy. I am leaving this review voluntarily.
June 26, 2025
TW/CW: Language, drinking, toxic family relationships, abusive relationship, domestic violence, blood, drug use, drug addiction, death by suicide, alcoholism, homophobia, guns, death of parent, anxiety, depression
*****SPOILERS*****
About the book:
The newly nameless narrator of Make Sure You Die Screaming has rejected the gender binary, has flamed out with a vengeance at their corporate gig, is most likely brain damaged from a major tussle with their now ex-boyfriend, and is on a bender to end all benders.
A call from their mother with the news that their MAGA-friendly, conspiracy-theorist father has gone missing launches the narrator from Chicago to deep red Arkansas in a stolen car. Along the way, the narrator and their new bestie—a self-proclaimed "garbage goth" with her own emotional baggage (and someone on her tail)—unpack the narrator’s childhood and a recent personal loss that they refuse to face head-on.
Release Date: April 8th, 2025
Genre: Fiction
Pages: 224
Rating: ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐
What I Liked:
1. Queer rep
2. The craziness of the characters actions
3. The emotional ending
4. Characters growing with and for one another
What I Didn't Like:
1. Characters got annoying after a while of reading
2. Do Apple phone owners have to mention their phone is an iPhone everytime a phone is mentioned... (12 uses of iPhone)
Overall Thoughts:
{{Disclaimer: I write my review as I read}}
For God's sake I hate Yivi. She annoys me. She keeps bringing more problems than helping to solve them.
When the narrator needs booze they sends Yivi into the store for food and alcohol but she comes out with a cashier that's 17 and let's her steal so she can party at her boyfriends hotel he works at. First of all it doesn't feel like a fair trade for the cashier because she gives away free stuff and a hotel room just so she can drink, which we find out she's been drinking anyways, so this scenario isn't even needed. She's clearly been able to get her own alcohol this whole time. I guess maybe Becky was lonely. When the narrator yells to her about this she responds that they needed friends and Yivi was worried they'd feel lonely.
I guess for me its frustrating because Yivi just takes over, cries, guilt trips the narrator, and then narrator apologizes. Is this how the author sees women? I did not care for the tone of gaslighting on either end.
Omg Yivi robbing the gas station while having money... Ah!
So I get the narrator has gotten rid of their debit card but can't they just use Apple pay? Why are they struggling when they could use their phone?
I hate Yivi keeps calling the narrator babe. So annoying and like nails on a chalkboard. The nicknames in this book are driving me crazy.
• Babe
• Bud
• Buckoo
I get having a nameless character but what's the point then of giving them a new nickname for every new character that pops up?
Omgosh Yivi threatening the randos in the woods and demanding they do what she wants. This girl is going to get herself killed one day.
The narrator is such an idiot to Yivi. They treat her like dirt and go out of their way to say mean things and then when she reacts they act like she shouldn't be mad. I know they came from an abusive family and they are using gaslighting tactics to get her to stay but it's horrible to watch her get beaten down over and over.
Final Thoughts:
So fun fact with this book BUT I had to stop this book twice because there were moments where the characters drove me insane. I was finding myself rage baiting over their actions and huffing.
This is a complex book that has a lot of trauma to build up from. A father that was abusive to his family. A mother that wasn't the best to her child. A person dealing with childhood drama, their sexuality and identity, death of their best friend, and then their addiction. A girl running from her father to find a mother she doesn't know. It's so much.
Yes the characters drove me crazy at times but the ending brings it all back together. You can't pick your family but you can choose the people that you surround yourself with. Yivi is annoying and childish but she is a child in the same breath. She hasn't grown yet so she's naive - she always thinks the world will bend to her and she's invisible to any real danger. I can relate. Even as adults we can act the same way.
I felt bad for the narrator finding out that their dad had died just a few weeks before their arrival. I don't know how they will deal with that trauma but I hope they can find support in those around them. PS - the ending reminded me a lot of the ending from 28 Years Later.
IG | Blog
Thanks to Netgalley and Flatiron Books for this advanced copy of the book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
*****SPOILERS*****
About the book:
The newly nameless narrator of Make Sure You Die Screaming has rejected the gender binary, has flamed out with a vengeance at their corporate gig, is most likely brain damaged from a major tussle with their now ex-boyfriend, and is on a bender to end all benders.
A call from their mother with the news that their MAGA-friendly, conspiracy-theorist father has gone missing launches the narrator from Chicago to deep red Arkansas in a stolen car. Along the way, the narrator and their new bestie—a self-proclaimed "garbage goth" with her own emotional baggage (and someone on her tail)—unpack the narrator’s childhood and a recent personal loss that they refuse to face head-on.
Release Date: April 8th, 2025
Genre: Fiction
Pages: 224
Rating: ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐
What I Liked:
1. Queer rep
2. The craziness of the characters actions
3. The emotional ending
4. Characters growing with and for one another
What I Didn't Like:
1. Characters got annoying after a while of reading
2. Do Apple phone owners have to mention their phone is an iPhone everytime a phone is mentioned... (12 uses of iPhone)
Overall Thoughts:
{{Disclaimer: I write my review as I read}}
For God's sake I hate Yivi. She annoys me. She keeps bringing more problems than helping to solve them.
When the narrator needs booze they sends Yivi into the store for food and alcohol but she comes out with a cashier that's 17 and let's her steal so she can party at her boyfriends hotel he works at. First of all it doesn't feel like a fair trade for the cashier because she gives away free stuff and a hotel room just so she can drink, which we find out she's been drinking anyways, so this scenario isn't even needed. She's clearly been able to get her own alcohol this whole time. I guess maybe Becky was lonely. When the narrator yells to her about this she responds that they needed friends and Yivi was worried they'd feel lonely.
I guess for me its frustrating because Yivi just takes over, cries, guilt trips the narrator, and then narrator apologizes. Is this how the author sees women? I did not care for the tone of gaslighting on either end.
Omg Yivi robbing the gas station while having money... Ah!
So I get the narrator has gotten rid of their debit card but can't they just use Apple pay? Why are they struggling when they could use their phone?
I hate Yivi keeps calling the narrator babe. So annoying and like nails on a chalkboard. The nicknames in this book are driving me crazy.
• Babe
• Bud
• Buckoo
I get having a nameless character but what's the point then of giving them a new nickname for every new character that pops up?
Omgosh Yivi threatening the randos in the woods and demanding they do what she wants. This girl is going to get herself killed one day.
The narrator is such an idiot to Yivi. They treat her like dirt and go out of their way to say mean things and then when she reacts they act like she shouldn't be mad. I know they came from an abusive family and they are using gaslighting tactics to get her to stay but it's horrible to watch her get beaten down over and over.
Final Thoughts:
So fun fact with this book BUT I had to stop this book twice because there were moments where the characters drove me insane. I was finding myself rage baiting over their actions and huffing.
This is a complex book that has a lot of trauma to build up from. A father that was abusive to his family. A mother that wasn't the best to her child. A person dealing with childhood drama, their sexuality and identity, death of their best friend, and then their addiction. A girl running from her father to find a mother she doesn't know. It's so much.
Yes the characters drove me crazy at times but the ending brings it all back together. You can't pick your family but you can choose the people that you surround yourself with. Yivi is annoying and childish but she is a child in the same breath. She hasn't grown yet so she's naive - she always thinks the world will bend to her and she's invisible to any real danger. I can relate. Even as adults we can act the same way.
I felt bad for the narrator finding out that their dad had died just a few weeks before their arrival. I don't know how they will deal with that trauma but I hope they can find support in those around them. PS - the ending reminded me a lot of the ending from 28 Years Later.
IG | Blog
Thanks to Netgalley and Flatiron Books for this advanced copy of the book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
August 14, 2025
this is the perfect 3 star book and i mean that as a compliment lol
July 4, 2025
Insufferable! The worst book I have read so far this year! Barely over 200 pages and it was so painful to get through that it just felt so much longer than that.
To start, the protagonist? Awful. You can describe the nameless main character (they haven't chosen a new name after coming out as genderqueer) using one word and that one word is "edgelord." This character wants you to believe they are sooo witty and edgy and damaged and REAL and almost everything that they say is annoying. The most cringeworthy inner dialogue on every page is here and every time they interact with other people it is inflammatory. Almost every conversation in the first like 80% of this book is a shouting match. It just becomes so one note so quickly.
Every other character is either a one-dimensional plot device that is tortured by the protagonist's self-hatred and anger issues or is also annoying and talks like an idiot. The main character's sidekick for most of the book is a "garbage goth girl" named Yivi who ends almost all of her sentences with "babe" and until about halfway through talks exclusively in quippy nonsense.
The entire book is essentially written in navel-gazing, edgy quips and reminds me of the kind of failson hardboiled action films that friends of mine in film school would write as screenplays that were all just god awful to read. Every sentence is a longwinded treatise on the state of current-day Trump's America or the general tortured nonsense of our protagonist's backstory and how fucked up they are and how much they hate their parents because they're fucked up and "I'm just like them but at least I'm self aware" or some shit like that.
Haven't said much about the actual narrative itself which was billed as a madcap road trip getaway from the cops to find a far-gone, MAGA parent figure and was really just a boring self-pity party that mostly took place in a car. But again, the way our narrator talks is so annoying and frenetic that I found myself losing any desire to root for them without making it even 25% into the book. I don't know why I didn't DNF this, I am stubborn about finishing books and it is a very short book but I just don't think I cared about any of it. Unlikable characters can be great but you need to still find yourself rooting for them and I mostly just wish our main character in this book would shut the hell up!
To start, the protagonist? Awful. You can describe the nameless main character (they haven't chosen a new name after coming out as genderqueer) using one word and that one word is "edgelord." This character wants you to believe they are sooo witty and edgy and damaged and REAL and almost everything that they say is annoying. The most cringeworthy inner dialogue on every page is here and every time they interact with other people it is inflammatory. Almost every conversation in the first like 80% of this book is a shouting match. It just becomes so one note so quickly.
Every other character is either a one-dimensional plot device that is tortured by the protagonist's self-hatred and anger issues or is also annoying and talks like an idiot. The main character's sidekick for most of the book is a "garbage goth girl" named Yivi who ends almost all of her sentences with "babe" and until about halfway through talks exclusively in quippy nonsense.
The entire book is essentially written in navel-gazing, edgy quips and reminds me of the kind of failson hardboiled action films that friends of mine in film school would write as screenplays that were all just god awful to read. Every sentence is a longwinded treatise on the state of current-day Trump's America or the general tortured nonsense of our protagonist's backstory and how fucked up they are and how much they hate their parents because they're fucked up and "I'm just like them but at least I'm self aware" or some shit like that.
Haven't said much about the actual narrative itself which was billed as a madcap road trip getaway from the cops to find a far-gone, MAGA parent figure and was really just a boring self-pity party that mostly took place in a car. But again, the way our narrator talks is so annoying and frenetic that I found myself losing any desire to root for them without making it even 25% into the book. I don't know why I didn't DNF this, I am stubborn about finishing books and it is a very short book but I just don't think I cared about any of it. Unlikable characters can be great but you need to still find yourself rooting for them and I mostly just wish our main character in this book would shut the hell up!
June 7, 2025
The comp for this says for fans of detransition baby and chain gang all stars, and I just have to say how much of a lie that is.
Not only is the thriller aspect missing from this, the main character is just the most insufferable person to walk the earth like my goddddddd! A lot of the supposed social commentary on this felt like overcompensation for every other part of the book that fell flat.
What really pissed me off is that the book is purposely vague about the age of yivi at the start just so it can be a set up to falsely accuse our mc of being a pedophile towards the end. Like it's so glaringly obvious, I almost dropped the book.
The only reason I finished this was because the audiobook was about 7 hours long and that only took me 2.5 hours to get through.
Not only is the thriller aspect missing from this, the main character is just the most insufferable person to walk the earth like my goddddddd! A lot of the supposed social commentary on this felt like overcompensation for every other part of the book that fell flat.
What really pissed me off is that the book is purposely vague about the age of yivi at the start just so it can be a set up to falsely accuse our mc of being a pedophile towards the end. Like it's so glaringly obvious, I almost dropped the book.
The only reason I finished this was because the audiobook was about 7 hours long and that only took me 2.5 hours to get through.
May 15, 2025
This wasn't as bad as the previous book I read, that I ALMOST gave it 4 stars just because this was a breath of fresh air, compared to the holy hell of the last catastrophe.... anyway.
However, I really finished the book being left with ... uh okay? What's the point of that? It wasn't bad and while heavily political, I was still enjoying my time. Ending was underwhelming. 🫠
However, I really finished the book being left with ... uh okay? What's the point of that? It wasn't bad and while heavily political, I was still enjoying my time. Ending was underwhelming. 🫠
June 5, 2025
Too much ranting from flat characters.
I think this book is better in reflection than in reading. The endless stream of references feel too on the nose and soon to be irrelevant. I wanted more character development.
There were lots of great little details in here that could have turned into more.
I think this book is better in reflection than in reading. The endless stream of references feel too on the nose and soon to be irrelevant. I wanted more character development.
There were lots of great little details in here that could have turned into more.
May 21, 2025
Make Sure You Die Screaming is an unhinged road trip story following a recently nameless narrator on their way to find their missing conspiracy-theorist, MAGA-hat-wearer father. The book gets a little crazy and while I think I enjoyed it, the weirdness got old quickly (it's a road trip, crazy thing after crazy thing makes it feel dragging?).
While the story follows the road trip, I found the discussions on the current political climate in the US, gender expression, and criticism against capitalism to be the cooler bits. I also liked how the book explored what it is to be gender fluid when your parents vote for Trump (even if they know it is wrong), it was interesting to read that take on things.
3.5 stars, fun read! I'll def check the author again.
While the story follows the road trip, I found the discussions on the current political climate in the US, gender expression, and criticism against capitalism to be the cooler bits. I also liked how the book explored what it is to be gender fluid when your parents vote for Trump (even if they know it is wrong), it was interesting to read that take on things.
3.5 stars, fun read! I'll def check the author again.
March 22, 2025
This debut was a rage-fuelled bonkers road trip adventure story featuring an unnamed genderfluid, nonbinary queer on the run with their friend after being bashed in the head from their ex with a baseball bat.
I loved that this was totally out there but grounded in real life concerns and fears many in the trans/queer community face. There was great disability rep (traumatic brain injury/pain) and some heartbreaking transphobic and deadnaming incidents too.
Fantastic on audio and highly recommended if you want to try something a little different but extremely well written! Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early audio copy in exchange for my honest review!
I loved that this was totally out there but grounded in real life concerns and fears many in the trans/queer community face. There was great disability rep (traumatic brain injury/pain) and some heartbreaking transphobic and deadnaming incidents too.
Fantastic on audio and highly recommended if you want to try something a little different but extremely well written! Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early audio copy in exchange for my honest review!
June 3, 2025
I loved this book! The main character is non-binary and is represented so well. The plot was fast paced and full of surprises. The main character leaves their boyfriend and decides to go find their father who is an extremist. So they take a road trip with a girl they had met recently. Both characters were so good and I loved reading about everything they got up to. Such a good book!
August 31, 2025
do you ever read a book so pretentious and insufferable you get pissed off. that’s this one
April 30, 2025
Thank you to Goodreads for providing me a copy of this book as part of a giveaway! I was lucky enough to win for the first time, and reading this was a fun and somewhat unhinged read.
Make Sure You Die Screaming is the kind of book that makes me feel like this app really needs half star capability. I found that while I really enjoyed reading this title, it in some ways struck me as needing a little more content and a little more direction. The book is very short, verging on a novella. I think that a little more could have really benefited the overall narrative of the book. The narrator creates a very muddled, frenetic atmosphere. The book creates more of an impression of a moment, a feeling, rather than a really plot-intensive narration.
I think that this would be like the gonzo-roadtrip novel/Hunter S. Thompson novel for the 21st century queer audience. The voice is somewhat reminicent of Chuck Palahniuk.
I think that this is a really well crafted unreliable narrator. In fact, this is a story built on unreliable characters. Whether they’re lying to each other, to themselves, or are delusional conspiracy theorists, every character needs a closer look before their version of events can be believed.
I think that if you appreciate a story that examines gender identity, substance abuse, family dysfunction, and the ways we lie to ourselves, this is a great option. However, the very hectic and alcohol-fueled early chapters may be a deterrent to some.
For me this was a 3.5/5, but I do look forward to seeing more from this author in the future. I really liked their work, and think they have a very interesting point of view that I’d love to see more of.
Make Sure You Die Screaming is the kind of book that makes me feel like this app really needs half star capability. I found that while I really enjoyed reading this title, it in some ways struck me as needing a little more content and a little more direction. The book is very short, verging on a novella. I think that a little more could have really benefited the overall narrative of the book. The narrator creates a very muddled, frenetic atmosphere. The book creates more of an impression of a moment, a feeling, rather than a really plot-intensive narration.
I think that this would be like the gonzo-roadtrip novel/Hunter S. Thompson novel for the 21st century queer audience. The voice is somewhat reminicent of Chuck Palahniuk.
I think that this is a really well crafted unreliable narrator. In fact, this is a story built on unreliable characters. Whether they’re lying to each other, to themselves, or are delusional conspiracy theorists, every character needs a closer look before their version of events can be believed.
I think that if you appreciate a story that examines gender identity, substance abuse, family dysfunction, and the ways we lie to ourselves, this is a great option. However, the very hectic and alcohol-fueled early chapters may be a deterrent to some.
For me this was a 3.5/5, but I do look forward to seeing more from this author in the future. I really liked their work, and think they have a very interesting point of view that I’d love to see more of.
March 23, 2025
3 stars
Hmmmm.
I should know better than to be drawn in by the old "for fans of..." trick in the blurbs, but my enthusiasm for the two books mentioned in that space distracted me from my better judgement. This one just did not work for me.
I love the concept of a nameless, gender binary rejecting narrator, and I am here for a character who is going to fight aggressively against the political leanings their particular parents reflect. That noted, I kept feeling like there was a tryhard quality happening with various elements of the novel to the point where I was so focused on the gimmicky qualities of the protagonist and their choices, along with the unusual twists, that I lost focus on the narrative itself.
Did this read (listen) entertain me? Yes. Does it feel like a fully realized final product? Not quite. The good news is that there's a lot of potential here. I am excited to read more from this author, though I'm not sure I'll be back for another trip through this one.
*Special thanks to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for this alc, which I received in exchange for an honest review. The opinions expressed here are my own.
Hmmmm.
I should know better than to be drawn in by the old "for fans of..." trick in the blurbs, but my enthusiasm for the two books mentioned in that space distracted me from my better judgement. This one just did not work for me.
I love the concept of a nameless, gender binary rejecting narrator, and I am here for a character who is going to fight aggressively against the political leanings their particular parents reflect. That noted, I kept feeling like there was a tryhard quality happening with various elements of the novel to the point where I was so focused on the gimmicky qualities of the protagonist and their choices, along with the unusual twists, that I lost focus on the narrative itself.
Did this read (listen) entertain me? Yes. Does it feel like a fully realized final product? Not quite. The good news is that there's a lot of potential here. I am excited to read more from this author, though I'm not sure I'll be back for another trip through this one.
*Special thanks to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for this alc, which I received in exchange for an honest review. The opinions expressed here are my own.
May 25, 2025
2.5/5
The quiet moments were the strongest, so it's a shame there's only one or two of them. Wish the mc spent less time yelling at women.
The premise is interesting and I wish this focused more on the main characters' relationship with their parents. Losing family members to conspiracies and bigotry is a real issue and I haven't seen it discussed much in fiction. The story is light on plot and focuses mainly on the two main characters ending up in wacky situations, but I found it hard to enjoy a vibe-based book then the mc bothered me so much. They're so aggressive and an asshole, and attempts at making them quirky mostly didn't work for me. At least they're self-aware, but that didn't improve the reading experience. The narrator kept me from hating them.
The quiet moments were the strongest, so it's a shame there's only one or two of them. Wish the mc spent less time yelling at women.
The premise is interesting and I wish this focused more on the main characters' relationship with their parents. Losing family members to conspiracies and bigotry is a real issue and I haven't seen it discussed much in fiction. The story is light on plot and focuses mainly on the two main characters ending up in wacky situations, but I found it hard to enjoy a vibe-based book then the mc bothered me so much. They're so aggressive and an asshole, and attempts at making them quirky mostly didn't work for me. At least they're self-aware, but that didn't improve the reading experience. The narrator kept me from hating them.
April 14, 2025
this one was weird. not even sure how to explain it properly, but it worked. felt like falling into someone else’s nightmare and deciding to stay just to see how it ends.
both characters were… real. messy, sharp, sometimes ugly, but always felt. like you could touch their fear, their tension. you don’t read them, you kinda sit with them
some parts made no sense, some parts hit too hard.
The vibe? Think: midnight thoughts that taste like metal and static.
Not a perfect book, but a memorable one. 4 stars.
both characters were… real. messy, sharp, sometimes ugly, but always felt. like you could touch their fear, their tension. you don’t read them, you kinda sit with them
some parts made no sense, some parts hit too hard.
The vibe? Think: midnight thoughts that taste like metal and static.
Not a perfect book, but a memorable one. 4 stars.
May 21, 2025
i was so stressed the entire time
December 1, 2025
CWs: drug & alcohol abuse
April 7, 2025
thanks to Netgalley, Flatiron Books, and Macmillan Audio for the advanced ebook and audio copies.
this one is out tomorrow, April 8th, 2025.
--
if you like a gonzo roadtrip story in the weird vein of melissa broder's writing, you may love this one. our main character is on the run after a violent interaction with an ex. specifically, they're running back TO their old home in arkansas because on top of everything, their father has gone missing. our roadtrip includes their best friend, as well, who it turns out is an underaged kid our protagonist has taken across state lines in a stolen vehicle. madness.
there's a lot of commentary in this about the current political climate and the ways that people are manipulated into voting against their own interests. personally, i wish the book had skewed more into those themes as i think those were some of the most memorable parts of the book but could have been fleshed out so much more.
nearing the end, i could tell you that i had a good time reading this but there's no really cogent way to describe the plot. this one is for the just vibes kind of reader -- most of this felt like a drunken fever dream, probably because our main character spends their time grappling with an untreated head injury and drinking away reality. relatable.
this one is out tomorrow, April 8th, 2025.
--
if you like a gonzo roadtrip story in the weird vein of melissa broder's writing, you may love this one. our main character is on the run after a violent interaction with an ex. specifically, they're running back TO their old home in arkansas because on top of everything, their father has gone missing. our roadtrip includes their best friend, as well, who it turns out is an underaged kid our protagonist has taken across state lines in a stolen vehicle. madness.
there's a lot of commentary in this about the current political climate and the ways that people are manipulated into voting against their own interests. personally, i wish the book had skewed more into those themes as i think those were some of the most memorable parts of the book but could have been fleshed out so much more.
nearing the end, i could tell you that i had a good time reading this but there's no really cogent way to describe the plot. this one is for the just vibes kind of reader -- most of this felt like a drunken fever dream, probably because our main character spends their time grappling with an untreated head injury and drinking away reality. relatable.
June 27, 2025
to say this book was a wild ride would honestly be an understatement.
it's a crazy and unhinged roadtrip story that leaves you bewildered at times. in the middle of it is a rather angry, frequently ranting enby who you shouldn't always believe because they have a tendency to lie (even after they said in the beginning they'd stop).
it's a crazy and unhinged roadtrip story that leaves you bewildered at times. in the middle of it is a rather angry, frequently ranting enby who you shouldn't always believe because they have a tendency to lie (even after they said in the beginning they'd stop).
May 20, 2025
would have been enjoyable if there was anything enjoyable about it
December 27, 2025
all the grief and chaos of being damaged and dirty and deeply self destructive, whirling on your journey to doom, unable to stop or slow down.
in the beginning, all the gritty and grungy drug-addled grief reminded me of a more politically timely and doomy version of u up?. but this book is so much more about today - about trying to survive in the current political landscape of the US, the existential horror of everything that's happening. there's a great line about the isolation of knowing you cannot collectively trust your fellow americans - you cannot trust your community.
this may be my first time reading about an AMAB NB character, which is exciting. our MC has recently rejected their name and is going nameless as they embark on a drunken roadtrip toward arkansas, where their semi-estranged MAGA conspiracy theorist father has gone missing. their best friend has also recently died, making this a very heavy time for them to be figuring out their identity.
there's one fraught moment where yivi tells the MC that even though they're not a man, they sure do act like one - so much to unpack here, as our lifetime of gendered socialization will shape our personality, regardless of what we may identify as.
our MC is really at a moment of reckoning, yet i struggled with them as a character. they never deny that they are a sad alcoholic mess, but they are also so aggressive and hurtful to those around them! i get that it's about being in a place where your self destruction has branched out to destruction of those around you - but i couldn't stand all the yelling.
i loved spirited and supportive garbage goth bestie yivi. while listening to the audiobook i thought her name might be spelled eevee, which added even more charm. the
weirdly i loved the ending,
in the beginning, all the gritty and grungy drug-addled grief reminded me of a more politically timely and doomy version of u up?. but this book is so much more about today - about trying to survive in the current political landscape of the US, the existential horror of everything that's happening. there's a great line about the isolation of knowing you cannot collectively trust your fellow americans - you cannot trust your community.
this may be my first time reading about an AMAB NB character, which is exciting. our MC has recently rejected their name and is going nameless as they embark on a drunken roadtrip toward arkansas, where their semi-estranged MAGA conspiracy theorist father has gone missing. their best friend has also recently died, making this a very heavy time for them to be figuring out their identity.
there's one fraught moment where yivi tells the MC that even though they're not a man, they sure do act like one - so much to unpack here, as our lifetime of gendered socialization will shape our personality, regardless of what we may identify as.
our MC is really at a moment of reckoning, yet i struggled with them as a character. they never deny that they are a sad alcoholic mess, but they are also so aggressive and hurtful to those around them! i get that it's about being in a place where your self destruction has branched out to destruction of those around you - but i couldn't stand all the yelling.
i loved spirited and supportive garbage goth bestie yivi. while listening to the audiobook i thought her name might be spelled eevee, which added even more charm. the
weirdly i loved the ending,
Read
June 27, 2025"I may be walking through the valley of the shadow of death, but I fear no evil because I am the meanest son of a bitch in the valley"
me esperaba terrible mierdón, pero en vdd ha estado bastante entretenido y me ha hecho pensar (que nunca está de más)
en definitiva, be gay get drunk and do crimes
me esperaba terrible mierdón, pero en vdd ha estado bastante entretenido y me ha hecho pensar (que nunca está de más)
en definitiva, be gay get drunk and do crimes
July 23, 2025
“I’m no hero, I’ll never be a winner and I barely have a name..but I feel like somebody and somebody needs to do something about all this terrible everything”
Most anticipated book of the summer for me, fun plot and great genderqueer discussion that’s fairly lighthearted but also gut wrenching. yay!! good gay stuff!!
Most anticipated book of the summer for me, fun plot and great genderqueer discussion that’s fairly lighthearted but also gut wrenching. yay!! good gay stuff!!
August 8, 2025
DNF at 65% because I can't anymore with our narrator. I don't have the time or the patience to read this book with its dickbag alcoholic mc, because all it's doing is pissing me off.
September 5, 2025
“At the risk of sounding alarmist, I think I might be dying.”
Carlstrom’s debut novel was a gone-in-60-seconds, breakneck sprint through the cruddy corners of the Midwest. Chock full of contemporary political criticism, familial fractures, and enough drunk driving to qualify as an Iowa Gubernatorial candidate. Great concept build, enthusiastic delivery, not for everyone. Maybe you?
Much of the narrative that meant to come off as tongue in cheek ended up being relentlessly mean spirited. Punching down isn’t punk. Understandably, a lot of the MCs attitude and behavior comes from being disenfranchised and detached, on multiple levels. In reality, they came off as a drunk and belittling edgelord with few redeeming characteristics. Partially due to the pace, and partially due to the lack of cohesion, the story didn’t feel complete.
3/5 Much like last week’s review, this was standard fair for a debut. I’ll read the next one from this author purely based on their concept creation.
Carlstrom’s debut novel was a gone-in-60-seconds, breakneck sprint through the cruddy corners of the Midwest. Chock full of contemporary political criticism, familial fractures, and enough drunk driving to qualify as an Iowa Gubernatorial candidate. Great concept build, enthusiastic delivery, not for everyone. Maybe you?
Much of the narrative that meant to come off as tongue in cheek ended up being relentlessly mean spirited. Punching down isn’t punk. Understandably, a lot of the MCs attitude and behavior comes from being disenfranchised and detached, on multiple levels. In reality, they came off as a drunk and belittling edgelord with few redeeming characteristics. Partially due to the pace, and partially due to the lack of cohesion, the story didn’t feel complete.
3/5 Much like last week’s review, this was standard fair for a debut. I’ll read the next one from this author purely based on their concept creation.
June 13, 2025
What was this book about? A pretty typical case of "telling not showing". The protagonist kept insisting they're genderqueer but there was nothing behind it. We didn't learn how they came to the realization, nothing about their journey or feelings. Like there's nothing genderqueer about their story besides them freaking out about their mom calling them by their birth name cause she literally just learned about their identify shift? All the drinking and the yelling and the messiness contributed nothing, it just felt like it was there for the shock value or to distract us from the fact that the author had no idea where this is going. Just a book stuffed with "all the current stuff": maga, pandemic, conspiracy theorists, gender identity. I wish the author would pick a thing and stick to it
Also I gotta agree with Yivi. The protagonist did behave like an entitled white male throughout the book lol
Also I gotta agree with Yivi. The protagonist did behave like an entitled white male throughout the book lol
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 7, 2025
In this book, we get an unnamed protagonist who is at rock bottom and yet somehow sinking lower and lower with each passing chapter. It's complete "be gay, do crime" meets "please please read Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" 🙏🏽.
They're a former hotshot at a marketing firm who just got fired from their job after their best friend just died. They've recently come out as nonbinary and haven't chosen a new name for themselves. After getting into a blowout physical fight with their boyfriend and stealing his car, they're now drunk driving across the Midwest with recent-bestie and self-proclaimed "garbage goth" Yivi, a girl who’s on the run from something mysterious herself. The two of them are on their way to Arkansas after our narrator finds out that their conspiracy theorist MAGA dad is missing, and despite the fact that they have a broken relationship at best, they feel an obligation to go home.
In sum: complete chaos and self-destruction. But at least they're self-aware about it!
Our narrator clearly has a lot of trauma: growing up poor with vaguely working-class liberal parents who now reject their most important facets, losing their best friend in a way that they feel responsible for, being a formerly gifted child with the weight of their small town on their shoulders, being a functioning alcoholic in denial, and so much more. While this book is mostly a wild romp, especially in the first and last acts, the second act is quite emotional, reflective, and deep. The primary emotion in these pages is rage, but there's also a lot of dark humor, grief, self-flagellation, remorse, and maybe even a teensy bit of hope.
They're a former hotshot at a marketing firm who just got fired from their job after their best friend just died. They've recently come out as nonbinary and haven't chosen a new name for themselves. After getting into a blowout physical fight with their boyfriend and stealing his car, they're now drunk driving across the Midwest with recent-bestie and self-proclaimed "garbage goth" Yivi, a girl who’s on the run from something mysterious herself. The two of them are on their way to Arkansas after our narrator finds out that their conspiracy theorist MAGA dad is missing, and despite the fact that they have a broken relationship at best, they feel an obligation to go home.
In sum: complete chaos and self-destruction. But at least they're self-aware about it!
Our narrator clearly has a lot of trauma: growing up poor with vaguely working-class liberal parents who now reject their most important facets, losing their best friend in a way that they feel responsible for, being a formerly gifted child with the weight of their small town on their shoulders, being a functioning alcoholic in denial, and so much more. While this book is mostly a wild romp, especially in the first and last acts, the second act is quite emotional, reflective, and deep. The primary emotion in these pages is rage, but there's also a lot of dark humor, grief, self-flagellation, remorse, and maybe even a teensy bit of hope.
October 20, 2025
As an AMAB nonbinary person, this was the first time I've seen a nonbinary person in literature that I could kind of relate to... and that should probably concern me more than it does, but it's fine! I'm always happy when a queer person can write a queer character as a huge mess and it works. We don't always have to pillars of strength and respectability, it's fine.
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