The Jane Austen Insult Guide for Well-Bred Women: Serving Tea with a Side of Scorn

by Emily Reed

Jane Austen always knows just what to say!

Why waste time inventing your own insults when you can borrow topnotch snipes from a literary genius? With The Jane Austen Insult Guide for Well-Bred Women, you can clap back at bad dates, micromanaging bosses, irritating strangers, and tiresome guests while keeping your chin and pinky up, just like the queen of clever comebacks herself. Austen’s timeless retorts work just as well today as they did two hundred years

- When they start talking before “I am worn out with civility.”
- When They Haven’t asked you a single “Selfishness must always be forgiven, you know, because there is no hope of a cure.”
- When They Leave wet towels on the “I send no compliments to your mother.”

Genres: Humor, Jane Austen, Nonfiction

160 pages, Hardcover

First published April 8, 2025

Reviews

[Monica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Most excellent! No one does it like my girl Jane. We could have been friends if we'd lived in the same era. I am certain.

[SarahO · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was put together by a true Janeite! you don't see a lot of these quotes pop up, and they work so well! I love it!

[Sandra Mendonça · Rating 2 out of 5]

Didn't find it that funny.
It takes quotes from several Jane Austen books and adapts them to...wierd nowadays situations. I my opinion, they are perfect were Jane Austen imagined them, and make much more sense.
It's a book you'll read in 30 minutes or so. So don't let me spoil your fun, try it anyway.

[JoAnn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious!

[Alix · Rating 5 out of 5]

“the more i know of the world, the more i am convinced that i shall never see a man whom i can really love” she really ate w that

[Yuthika · Rating 4 out of 5]

Laugh-out-loud funny. I read a few to the family for a bit of fun together :)

[Resh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Omg I’m laughing so hard 🤣 This book is downright hilarious!! 😆😆 What a pocket gem! I’m sending my compliments to the author and the editors. This book is a delight! 💕😁

I really needed this. As an Austen lover this book is clever and so funny making me think how Jane probably had a sarcastic response for every situation in life 😂😂. As a long term fan of her, this book made me appreciate her more. If you want a book to gift your Austen loving friend this would be ideal! 😂

The aesthetics are cute too. And the book being small, you can take it anywhere like a pocket dictionary of sassy responses 🤣.

Thoroughly enjoyed it! I really hope other Janeites enjoy this too! 😂

Thank you to the publishers for a gifted copy. All thoughts my own.

[Mirona · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really an excellent way to insult people in a way that sometimes leaves them questioning whether they were, in fact, insulted. The chapter on 'Insults for grating houseguests' is especially relevant with Christmas coming up!

[Danica Elle · Rating 5 out of 5]

A short collection of expertly curated Jane Austen quotes to apply in many different modern-day situations!
Jane Austen’s whit and perfect understanding of the human condition is abundantly clear, even over 200 years after the writing of her books they sentiments are still so relevant today! I Loved this, it made me laugh out loud many times!
So well edited! Loved loved loved it.

[Yao Liu · Rating 1 out of 5]

Fun concept, lackluster execution.

[Li Hayes · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not insults that might have been used in Austen's time. Just quotes from her books which LOOSELY go with some silly, and not universal, modern-day situations.

[Fareya · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Jane Austen Insult Guide for Well-Bred Women is a must read for every Austen fan. I mean you've pretty much read every quote in here at some point if you've read all of the author's books, but this smart and sassy compilation of colorful comebacks depending on who you might be insulting is an absolute gem because what might be better than a handy guide on "Serving Tea with a Side of Scorn" 😂 I'll definitely be returning to it again and again and also gifting to my favorite bookish people!

Some of my favorite insults -
When they give unsolicited advice-
"I have the highest opinion in the world of your excellent judgement in all matters within the scope of your understanding..."

When they say "no" to dessert-
"Now you are talking nonsense..."

When they tell you to "go with the flow"-
"That is a degree of placidity, which I can neither comprehend nor respect."

When they think they got away with it-
"I was quiet, but I was not blind."

When you try to explain the mental load to your husband-
"If there is anything disagreeable going on, men are always sure to get out of it..."

When they say you look tired-
"Nothing ever fatigues me but doing what I do not like."

When you see their questionable political posts-
"I write only to bid you farewell. The spell is removed, I see you as you are."

[Sue · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's no secret that I worship at the altar of Jane Austen, and I am by no means alone in appreciating the impressive bite of the sharp wit she displays in her writing. If you have never used a quip or two from her books are you even an Austen devotee? 😁

If you are also yearning to apply a bit of Jane Austen sass, then this is the book you need to hand! It is full of choice quotations of the fancy Austen kind for you to use as insults in place of boring old plain words - and it even has suggestions for when each biting phrase might be appropriate in a modern setting.

Some of my absolute favs are here, many from Pride and Prejudice (which in my opinion is the best Austen source material for a literary retort); absolutely loads from Emma too (a remarkably under-rated treasure trove of disparaging asides). All the insults are worthy examples of her formidable genius - and, as the blurb quite rightly states, just as effective today as they were two hundred years ago.

Celebrate #JaneAusten250 by treating yourself (or the Austen fan in your life) with this enjoyable guide to well-bred barbs, and go forth with a slice of excellent Regency era scorn... it's what Jane Austen would do!

Required reading fellow Austenites, and "Obstinate, headstrong girls'. Also lots of fun spotting who said what from among her characters. ❤

[Ashleah · Rating 5 out of 5]

(4.5/5 stars)

The Jane Austen Insult Guide for Well-Bred Women by Emily Reed is a quick and fun collection of devastating comebacks.

I needed a touch of levity and this really fit the bill. I've read a bunch of Austen's works, but omg this little anthology reminded me of so many good zingers! The extended part of the title: "Serving Tea with a Side of Scorn" is such a great phrase too.

The book is structured into chapters focusing on who you might be insulting, or certain locations. Do you need clap backs for bad dates, micromanaging bosses, irritating strangers, or tiresome guests? You'll find all of those here.

I received a complimentary review copy from Castle Point Books. All opinions contained herein are my own.

If you want to see more from me, check out my blog, Bookstagram, TheStoryGraph, or Bluesky.

[Natasha · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the 250th year of Jane Austen's birth, and while I haven't re-read any of her novels yet, I have been reading works inspired by her writing and thinking about many of her characters and the social situation they lived in.
The one thing common to all those books inspired by the Austen universe is the way quotes from her novels are incorporated into the narrative. So famous are they, and so precise and cutting in their form that you recognise them even without the need for italics.
This book, therefore was a joy to read. Quotes from Austen novels are presented in modern situations, proving yet again how timeless Austen's novels are. She literally had a quote that would fit every situation from a man refusing to pick up his share of the invisible labour to that friend who posts on SM only those photographs where she looks gorgeous (even if everyone else in the group looks terrible).
The design of the book lets it down- had it been illustrated better, it would have made an ideal gift for an Austen fan and a worthy addition to every coffee table.

[Hillary · Rating 5 out of 5]

🩶💜 The Jane Austen Insult Guide for Well-Bred Women ARC Review 💜🩶

Thank you so much to Emily Reed and Castle Point Books for the opportunity to read and review this book!!

The Jane Austen Insult Guide for Well-Bred Women is a humorous compilation of witty comebacks from the works of Jane Austen. They cover all manner of insults - from irritating strangers, bad dates, annoying lovers and overbearing bosses.

This was such a fun book! I’m a huge fan of witty comebacks and this book was a delightful read! Jane Austen was a master at clever insults 200 years ago and it’s amazing to see how relevant they still can be today!

This was a super enjoyable 5 stars of entertainment! It’s definitely what it says it is - just a book of insults for various different life situations! It’s delightful!

If you’re a fan of Jane Austen and witty insults, absolutely pick this one up!

[Debra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you @castlepointbooks for my #gifted copy. My opinions are my own.

Just in case you thought that someone born 250 years ago could have nothing relevant to say in today's complex social interactions--you couldn't be more wrong! Jane Austen's work contains pithy asides, astute observations, and a good comeback for everything from "when your ex posts engagement pics" to "when he's love-bombing you" to "when your kid's friend is a bad influence." Jane Austen=wit! This hilarious (and giftable!) book usefully categorizes insults by a variety of social situations and/or recipients: for idiots, frenemies, family, bad dates, work, and more. Trust me, if for no other reason than to lift your spirits, you should pick this up...though if you do end up using any of them on someone, I'd absolutely love to hear about it!

[The Lit · Rating 3 out of 5]

As someone who truly loves Jane Austen and all things Austen-related, I went into this book with high hopes.
The Lit Whisperer's analysis finds that while the concept held so much promise, the execution unfortunately didn't live up to expectations. For a dedicated fan, the selection feels a bit thin; I was particularly disappointed to find only four Northanger Abbey quotes when there is such a wealth of material that could have been provided. Furthermore, much of the sharp, signature irony that makes Austen’s writing so iconic felt missing in the quotes selected for this guide. It is a solid 3-star read for its aesthetic and intent, but for a true Janeite, it leaves a lot to be desired. Sad to say, I just didn't enjoy it as much as I wanted to.
​Follow me for more reviews @TheLitWhisperer.

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

I normally have a love/hate relationship with these sorts of cutesy quote books. They tend to be low on meaningful content, though they are usually good for a laugh.

I found The Jane Austen Insult Guide for Well-Bred Women to be a delightful example of the genre. The author helpfully includes specific situations for the best use of Miss Austen's words. (When they don't put the shopping cart in the return: "Are you lost to every feeling of propriety and delicacy?" And when they decide to cut their own bangs: "Better be without sense, than misapply it as you do.")

You're not going to find anything particularly meaningful here, but it made me laugh (and share multiple pictures with friends), so I'm calling it a win.

[Edens Book Den · Rating 5 out of 5]

So much fun!! This book, divided into eight sections, is both witty and hilarious. Though small, it packs a punch—perfect for any Austen fan. It’s a quick read, but one you’ll return to again and again. Packed with sharp advice and clever retorts, it offers refined yet humorous responses to all kinds of situations. Loved it!! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

*I was gifted a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review:)

[Drea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ha! Love this book. It gives situations and then how to respond with a snarky quote from a Jane Austen book.
One of my favorites from the book is:

"WHEN THEY LEAVE WET TOWELS ON THE FLOOR:"
(Pride and Prejudice) "I send no compliments to your mother."

Mother's Day is coming and I think this would be a great little gift.

Heartfelt thanks to the publisher for the advanced copy.

[Maria · Rating 3 out of 5]

that was fun

Quotes:

WHEN YOU GO TO THE CLUB IN YOUR 30S:

"The insipidity, and yet the noise - the nothingness and yet the self-importance of all these people!"
- PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

*********

WHEN THEY SAY YOU NEED A MAN:

"What are men to rocks and mountains?"
- PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

[Courtney Mason · Rating 5 out of 5]

This delightful little gem of a book is labeled as a fiction satire on Amazon, but I would absolutely use some of these quotes from various Jane Austen novels in my everyday life. I now have a strong desire to sip tea with my pinkie lifted and tastefully roast my companions. This book will make you smile and would be a fun gift for the bookworm in your life!

[book_lover_kent · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a fantastic compilation of some of the very best insults by the queen of the put downs, which are just as effective today as they were 200 years ago!

Split into handy sections for different situations including bad dates, family and just plain simple idiots, Emily has picked out some of her most witty and devastating snubs.

[Elisabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

This "book" is hilarious (and I'm not even a big Jane Austen fan). It's a short collection of witty quotes with sarcastic (but fitting) categories.
If you like Jane Austen and dry/biting humour, this is the book for you!!
One note: it is very short and has little to no commentary. You can read it cover to cover in less than 30 minutes.

[Night veil · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book awakened my inner Regency gremlin and taught her to smile sweetly while drawing blood.

🪼⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ Each page is a lesson in Austenian menace-graceful, exacting, and quietly ruinous.

⋆.˚🦋༘⋆ For anyone who longs to choose violence with impeccable manners, this is scripture. Civilized savagery, perfected. 🫖

[Raechel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such an amazing little book full of quotes from Jane Austen's works! There are some quotes that definitely fit in situations of my life and others that don't. Highly enjoyable book full of quirks and quips.

[Quincessential · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was such a fast read that I can't believe it was supposedly 160 pages long.

I guess I can see this as an amusing book on somebody's coffee table to be picked up occasionally and opened on a random page to have a quick laugh. But it's charm was a bit lost on me.

[Introvert Insane · Rating 3 out of 5]

Since this is simply a compilation, I can't give it anymore. However, the categorisation of the quotes for every situation is pretty spot on. Gen Z slang? No. Gen Austen slang (see what I did there?).

[Arlene Harris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lots of fun to read, reread, and sometimes use in conversations!
I belong to JASNA--Jane Austen Society of North America, San Diego region.
At our Jane Birthday Tea in December, this book had some readings shared and all enjoyed them!
If you enjoy Jane Austen's work, don't miss it!